How can I describe my current situation? If I had to use one word to describe the ambiance between Adriale and me on the way to his palace, it would be 'Awkward!' I'm not exactly in the mood to talk that much, and neither is Adriale for some reason, as he just sits there quietly reading a book.

  "I hope you''re not too uncomfortable about this, but we have to wait until we leave the city to talk freely about your power." That's all that Adriale told me right before he pulled out a book to read, leaving me with no other choice but to look at the ceiling and pretend not to be bored to death.

  I wonder how the King already knows about my power or my name, but it doesn't matter since he didn't seem to have hostile intentions. I do worry a little since maybe he is in agreement with the Emperor to surrender me, but I can deal with that as long as I get the chance to regenerate fully.

  Several hours go by, and the King keeps quiet for most of the ride until someone knocks on the top of the carriage, finally allowing Adriale to speak again. "I am sorry I've been quiet all this time, but I had to wait to be sure that nobody else can hear our conversation, for it could bring about panic."

  There he was again, implying that my anti-magical shield is somehow dangerous; oh well, I better hear him out. "I understand, but I think you overestimate my power. It's hardly useful, as you can see." I respond while looking at my four missing limbs, which causes him to smile.

  "Well, that all depends on the eye of the beholder. To me, your supposed power presents me with a unique opportunity to bring about a long peace to this chaotic world." What the hell was Adriale on about? I wasn't really getting what he was trying to tell me, but I guess I better act like I do.

  "How could my curse be useful to bring about peace? I am not following." I had to be real in the end; I just didn't see his vision, and honestly, I still wanted to know how he knew about my skills. "If what my sources say is true, then I believe that you could finally bring down the sinner of this world, the one person causing all these pointless wars."

  Was he talking about the Emperor? Because if that was the case! I would be all down for it! "Do you mean the Emperor?" I say back to Adriale, but he replies differently. "Not exactly; I am talking more about Deus Belli, the God of war." Woah! Hold on a second, brother! I know my curse is powerful, but I don't know if it will go against a god! Calm your titties, man.

  "That's a hard pass for me; I'm not fighting a god." Adriale smiles again as he comes back to reality real quickly. "I know it sounds crazy now, but I believe we can provide you with the tools and support to do it. Once the God of war dies, another god of war can be forged. My dream is to become that God and then stop creating pointless wars all over the world."

  Uhm, that sounded like a noble cause, but what were the chances of it working? The reincarnation Goddess cast the curse upon me, so it is possible it might be able to go against another god's power if she is stronger than the God of War, but what if she is not? I think it's all crazy talk.

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  "How do you know the power of a God won't corrupt your mind and soul, and in the end, you become another evil God Of War?" This finally seems to make Adriale think for a while before coming up with a clever answer. "I would have to trust myself not to fall for it, but it is a good point."

  "Trust yourself? That's hardly any guarantee that you will be able to succeed; I'd say that your plan is outright insane." Adriale takes clear note of my serious tone, all of a sudden, finally smiling again as he claps me on. "I had doubts that you were the one I was looking for until now; it's just like Maidas said; you appear to have an uncommonly mature mind." Oh shit!

  Adriale quickly noticed my sudden discomfort. I tried not to look at him, as I could feel his eyes gazing into my soul. "There's no need to feel intimidated by this; it is actually quite useful to me that you're not as bratty as my daughter. I just wish she would be as much of a deep thinker as you were just now."

  Phew! For a second, I thought my reincarnation identity was at risk, but it seemed like he didn't know that I was one. Phew, that was a relief. "So that whole thing about killing a God was some sort of test?" I ask Adriale as he gently looks at me with his beautiful blue eyes.

  "Yes. If you were immature, I would've expected you to jump into the idea immediately and not think about the limitations of a human. Nobody can indeed stand up to a God; not even I come close. Yet this awakes even more curiosity from my side; how come you look so young yet act so mature?"

  "Well, that would be easy. I've been fighting for my life ever since I was born. I've been experiencing the death of many over a short period and also suffered many injuries and bad experiences that have hardened me. After seeing so many friends die, I cannot enjoy playing around with dolls or other kid's toys, you know? I can't enjoy it anymore."

  Adriale seemed touched by my quick response as he was now the one avoiding eye contact with me after basically telling my life story, but it was part of the truth. Of course, I am an older reincarnation, but it is also true that my experiences so far have entirely changed my moral compass and sense of duty.

  I've been a slave who suffered from sexual abuse and saw a person who seemed too sweet to me die right before my eyes; the guy who I loved the most also probably died that day. I've killed people, killed many animals, and also seen the death of a pet. So much death can't be easily overcomed. Even though I try with my dark sense of humor, I still hurt inside.

  The truth is that I've wanted to cry my lungs out for months now, but after witnessing so much misfortune, my soul can't take it anymore. That's probably why, now that I was somewhat safe, perhaps instinct took over, or perhaps I just couldn't pretend to be tough anymore, so I broke down into a tear puddle.

  It is over; I tell myself while I cry out a river in the middle of the carriage, finally feeling safe enough to drop my tough act and let out my true feelings for once without fear of judgment. "Let it out; it is healthy if you let it out. A child like you shouldn't be forced to mature so quickly, so I understand your pain. Please just let it out; I won't stop you."

  Adriale calmly approaches me on my side of the carriage just to comfort me as I keep crying my heart out, all while remembering the people who have died because of me. I am sorry, everyone. I am sorry for not being strong enough to help you; I am sorry I ever showed up in your lives. Please forgive me for being such a coward and just think about myself.

  But it is over. Perhaps this is a new chapter in my life here, a chapter without so much death and distress, a chapter with fewer hardcore things always happening to me. Perhaps my Exodus punishment will be over soon.