CHAPTER 14 – ALONE IS A SAD SONG

  Pre-System – Kentucky – Big Sandy Prison

  ***

  Jamison ‘Jimmy’ Sampson was 32 years old and had spent the last decade in a prison cell. Most of that time he’d been in isolation, his status as being severely autistic, in this case, having helped him even though it had done the opposite during the trial. His mind just moved to fast. In his head he was the master of all he surveyed but he couldn’t make his mind slow down enough to actually form coherent words, make his body do what he wanted it to, always jerking and twitching, his words a tumble of nonsense as his mind was already five sentences ahead of the words attempting to tumble from his lips.

  His Father, a white man, had left when he was a child though his Mother, a black woman, his champion, had loved him more than anyone could ever love someone. She’d died when he was only 14. So on top of being a cripple he was half black and half white, not a winning combo to many. If it had been up to him he would have ripped the white out of him and taken on the dark chocolate of his beautiful Momma.

  When she’d died after being in the hospital for a month, they said it was breast cancer but to Jimmy he didn’t believe that, he knew she was just tired and lonely. Taking care of him had eaten her up and what man wanted to deal with a woman with a child like him? The thing that hurt the most was he hadn’t been able to get his mouth to form the words ‘I love you so much Momma.’

  That had been the biggest regret of his entire life, that he couldn’t tell her ‘I love you’. He couldn’t make his body work, couldn’t make his lips work. It always came out ass some stuttering drivel of nonsense. ‘I..you...you..’ It hurt her every time he tried. He could see it in her eyes. She’d sacrificed every part of her existence to love and take care of her broken boy and he couldn’t even say it.

  He’d be able to chew through books like they were nothing once she’d figured out a contraption where his twitching hands could hit a button that made the page on the electronic book files turn. She’d done that. She’d made that happen. She’d been his best friend, his only friend. As he watched her tired broken spirit dwindle day by day, month to month, year after year, it killed him, emptied him.

  She spent her life working two shitty jobs and every other waking moment feeding him, helping him go to the bathroom, the wrestling match that was getting him into bed, day in, day out, every day, for years. With the help of a church she’d gotten him an electric wheel chair to get around easier and his special e-reader. Walking was something he could do but it was a chaotic exercise at best, a lot of falling, smacking his limbs against things, more like a hockey puck attempting to travel through halls and doors bouncing off everything all the way down.

  His e-reader was his salvation, his wings with which to fly. He could read a five hundred page book in half an hour and his entire life was opened up when she’d gotten that for him when he turned eight. He remembered once she understood he was actually reading and taking in what he was reading she’d tell him she’d always known he was her secret little genius. That had made him so happy inside, so happy but he couldn’t even say that to her but she knew, she always knew how much he loved her or at least that was his secret hope, anything else would just bring the weight of a mountain of depression on his back. After she died the life of struggle became worse. He was shoveled from foster home to foster home and eventually landed in one who was keen on keeping him as they paid extra money for someone with his handicaps.

  The Middle-aged Man and his wife sold his electric chair within the first few months replacing it with a manual one he struggled to use at all. It was easier to just play the hockey puck and walk on his own. Luckily they’d left him his e-reader but with no money to keep up on his Kindle Unlimited subscription his Momma had always got him, all he had was the same hundred books he’d had on it when that came to an end. Occasionally he would find some books for free on Amazon but it was a wrestling match to get his uncontrollable limbs to hit the right buttons to get them to download. At least his Foster Parents had internet which allowed him to attempt it and it was his only comfort.

  They refused to help him eat and only half helped him get into the bathroom, at least most of the time. They began making him wear a diaper so they didn’t have to deal with it as much and made him take his own showers then bitched about it when there was an ocean of water everywhere after his losing fight with his motor skills and the knob to control the water. Once more his body betrayed everything he did or tried to do.

  This had gone on till he was eighteen and the foster family would no longer receive the government check. They kicked him out without even a goodbye. Luckily for him his Social Worker found him the programs that put him up in a horrid apartment building with his rent and utilities paid for and food stamps to get by. At least he had a bottom floor apartment so didn’t need to deal with stairs. It was one room with a bed and an old TV. He also got a small stipend that went directly into a bank account he could access with a card that was tied around his neck. The apartment was filled with the bottom rung of society, single mothers with five kids, drug addicts and hookers, many times in one package.

  For a year and a half he somehow got through existence surviving and not much else. His e-reader had broken six months in so even his escape into fantastical worlds was taken from him. The only positive in his life had been Joanie. She was a young lady who had some drug issues and more than likely a prostitute but Jimmy didn’t care about any of that. What he did care about was she was always nice to him, had even helped him numerous times, walking with him to the store and helping him get his groceries. He would always use some of his food stamps to get her some stuff too.

  The only negative about knowing her was it inevitably led him to having to meet Lucas, a big tattooed white man who scared Jimmy a lot. He was always checking in on Joanie and Jimmy had read enough books to guess he was her pimp. The two of them intersecting in his life would change it forever. His biggest mistake had been to give her a copy of the key to his apartment.

  A year and half later he’d been woken up in the middle of the night by his apartment door being busted open and a bunch of swat pushing into his room with guns drawn. That in itself was shocking especially as his body went into overdrive, twitching all over the place, flailing and that’s when he noticed with the cops flashlights tied to their weapons roaming everywhere, that he was covered in blood, a lot of blood, and there was a wicked looking knife in his hand. When the police had corralled his twitching limbs and gotten him handcuffed, he mind almost broke and he started weeping uncontrollably. The horrid remains of Joanie laid on the floor at the end of his bed. She was naked and was covered with deep gashes over every inch of her body. His only thought flew straight to Luke but he had no way to convey that, his mind spinning too fast to ever make his lips say the words that would have denounced his guilt.

  One could say many things about Luke but stupid wasn’t one of them. Numerous witnesses came forward to say how Jimmy had stalked Joanie and even though several saw her being nice to him, others said they always had a bad feeling about how many times they caught him outside her apartment, watching her from the shadows. One man said he’d even seen Jimmy outside her apartment playing with himself. None of those things were true, especially as his perpetual twitching limbs meant he would hurt himself if he attempted to masturbate but Jimmy had no doubt Luke had put pressure on all the people to say what he wanted them to say. He was a violent and convincing man. He tried his hardest but tears came crashing down in the middle of the trial when visions of Joanie dead, all cut up like meat, at the end of his bed, the killing instrument in his hand, kept hammering through his thoughts.

  His physical limitations weren’t even an issue. The DA had pointed out that in fact it proved it was him with his involuntary control of his limbs and the reason there were so many cuts and gashes on every piece of flesh of Joanie’s flesh and how one led to the other. In a perverse way Jimmy actually agreed that it made sense and pointed at him being the killer. He knew it was of the reasons Luke had cut her so many times though not the only reason. There had been numerous times when Joanie had visited him and been covered in multiple bruises. She would tell Jimmy when Luke got angry he lost all reason, went almost berserk and then she would cry telling Jimmy, some day she thought he would kill her.

  What really nailed his coffin was no matter how intelligent he truly was not being able to get his lips to form words that made sense and his constant involuntary thrashing of limbs that gave credence to his inherent violence put the guilty verdict as an inevitability. He was sentenced to 15 years for voluntary manslaughter with extenuating circumstances. The Judge felt he intentionally was violent for whatever reason towards Joanie but because of his physical disabilities he couldn’t control the level of violence.

  At least he was put in isolation right from the get go cause of his inability to protect himself and was given some extra accommodations due to the same. The next ten years slipped by and at the very least he did have access to the Prison library and l was able to listen their meager collection of audible books. It helped him stay sane and a lifetime since birth of isolation within his own mind. Then the day came, the day that changed everything.

  System Initializing….

  ***

  Jamison ‘Jimmy’ Sampson

  ***

  Within moments he’d been plucked right out of his cell to some space made up of gray walls and some digitized voice whispering in his mind, one that he could actually speak with that didn’t rely on his failed body to communicate with. He was told he was given special dispensation and one of the rare AI’s who could communicate via the mind to accommodate his restrictions.

  It was a new freedom, one he’d never thought he’d ever experience. It made him sad, made him think about all the times he could have told his Momma he’d loved her, how he could have defended himself at the trial, told Joanie how she was worth far more then she ever thought she was.

  Then he’d been shoved into the Proving where he faced something called a kobold, like a mini lizard/dragon humanoid. He’d been more scared in that moment then in his entire life but he’d grabbed a dagger and done what he’d never done but had been accused iof doing. He went ballistic like a spaz eleven year old attempting their first fight except with a wicked looking dagger in one hand.

  The poor kobold had no idea how to react to an adversary whose arms were just twitching all over the place from a body that was more stumbling, almost falling, then actually charging them. They looked on with confused eyes till one lucky blow landed in it’s throat at the same time that Jimmy’s body finally accomplished what it seemed to have been attempting from the very beginning, which was falling face first into the ground. As Jimmy did his best to get back to his feet, blood pouring like a river from his shattered nose, the kobold clutched its throat, bleeding the last of its life in choked breaths.

  As soon as Jimmy had exited, a new beginning laid the concrete to bring fantasy to the reality of a forever hope. As his eternally broken body laid within the gray landscape the AI led him through his Foundational choice followed by his Soul-Pillar. Both times he’d made choices based on the advice of the AI taking what he had the highest Affinity with. Even through the moral and mental anguish and hard facts of what those choices were he accepted them as his truth, a truth that had been the ruined roads and lives caused by his existence from his Father leaving his crippled son to his Momma breaking under the pressure of raising him to Joanie never having felt love, he pushed through all the horrible memories and embraced what had been offered, Chaos at 99% Affinity. He was told the Affinity would make him a God if he survived. Jimmy didn’t want to be a God. He just wanted control over his mutinous body.

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  The AI had been blown away by the Affinity, doubly so as it was given to a physical cripple but Jimmy had long endured what it meant to be seen as worthless, more than worthless, a chained weight that brought down anyone who’d deign to lift a hand to help carry its mass. The automated System itself cared not at all except for the numbers. He was offered two things, one, the option to become the Scion of Chaos, to which he said no.

  It was all too new, more power meant nothing when it came side to side with more danger, the second offering, a fleeting whisper of advice as he was shoveled towards the normal Tutorial. He thought the System’s message was a dream at first, too good to be true, too good to believe in. The message told him his affliction was easily remedied if he put more points in Perception, Agility and Will to balance out his too high Intelligence, allowing his body to catch up with his insanely fast moving brain which had started at 19, an unheard of mark for a Non-System Mortal Human. The Class he’d taken was Ranked Epic. He’d only had one option at that rank so he’d taken it.

  It was an Intellectual Class or Mage Class based on all his knowledge from the endless fantasy novels he’d chewed through. Books had been the only good thing in his life since his Momma had passed. It was called [The Hand of Chaos], a Class that seemed to manipulate probability. It had two Utility Slots, one Offensive Slot, one Defensive Slot and one Movement. It gave +3 Intelligence, +2 Potency, +1 Will, +1 Perception, +1 Agility, +2 Body, +2 Insight and +3 Free Attributes per Level.

  His Perception was only 5, Agility 3, Will 5 which the System had said were the major reasons for his affliction. His Body of 3 also probably didn’t help. He put two of his Free Points into Perception and one into Agility. Once he mentally hit the ‘Yes’ and accepted the Class and Free Attributes he immediately screamed in torment as he went through an extremely painful reconstruction of his entire body down to a molecular level.

  When it was done, Perception was now 9, Will 6 and Agility 4. It hadn’t fixed everything but it had given a glimmer of a dream. His body wasn’t completely unresponsive anymore. If he went slow he could actually make mostly normal movements with only a few twitches. He was able to make his lips form simple words if he focused hard and spoke carefully. It was the beginnings of a hope that he never thought would exist.

  He put his dagger very carefully and slowly into the sheath that had been provided at his waist and with a lot of care, stood straight with pride and stepped within the magic door that would lead him to his future.

  ***

  The Monster Wave # 2 – Erebus

  ***

  Jimmy cast [Cascade of Probability] across the rampaging wave of Ember Lions igniting utter chaos within their numbers, every piece of luck that could effect them, taking a heavy drop into all bad. Their cohesive pride of flame covered aggression brought to a screeching halt as they tripped over their own paws, each other, the stone bridge that arced over the raging river collapsing, ancient massive trees cracking at the base, falling and slamming into hordes of them. The gaggle of villagers he’d been protecting since the Tutorial fell upon the few that made it through his spell as he recast it again, this time bringing positive luck to all those on his own side, their low-grade weapons finding critical spots in their strikes, and a cascade of other fortuitous circumstances to bring them victory.

  After the Lion’s charge once more floundered against them, for now the third time, the Alpha finally made it’s appearance. It was massive and he could see that his people were exhausted, some severely injured and some on the ground no longer holding life. The Stone of Chaotic Breath, floating a bit above his shoulder and head, sent a whisper to his mind. He agreed. The beast would only fall if he directly intervened. Once more into the Crucible, Jimmy Sampson, the Chaos Lord, stepped. He would allow no more deaths on his watch or at least that was the promise he made and would do everything to keep.

  Alura’Er’Mir, the love of his life, stepped next to him, her Shade Elf features the most beautiful thing he’d ever known. She was taller than him by half a foot and twice his mass. Even with all the steps he’d taken from the days of being a cripple, he was still slight of build and maybe only 5’9”. He’d put very few points into Strength but his Body on the other hand after his entire life of being a frail weakling, was another. Under his battle-robes it was all lean muscle as hard as ancient oak.

  Her eyes made his heart fill with warmth. They held three things he’d only known from his Momma, love, loyalty and faith. She had her zweihander she’d named ‘Falcon’ in her hand resting the slender five feet of blade on her shoulder, it’s long parrying spikes a third of the way up the blade wicked and intimidating. She wore her crimson and black plate and chain like a second skin. She gave him one last smile then pulled down her steel sallet helm over the top half of her face, the front face plate almost reaching her chin. It always made her look like some metal predator or a match for the name of her soul-bound blade. She would be his shield as always.

  ***

  Umbra Mortem – Erebus

  ***

  After weeks at Oklahoma, the home of the Shadow Conclave and the infamous Gunslinger, and being grilled as to who they were, their history as Settlement leaders then talking to others and utilizing the System Network to corroborate, Jimmy and his wife finally stepped through the portal taking their first steps into what would hopefully be their new home. Sadness still rolled upon his soul, upon who he was. He was finally free within his body and had been before he’d been halfway through his Tutorial but still he’d been unable to save everyone. Some of that went away when his eyes rested upon the woman next to him who’d captured his heart long before then.

  When he’d first arrived in the Tutorial, his body was still betraying him, his Perception, Will and Agility still not high enough to compensate yet for his Intelligence. That’s when he met her, his future. She’d been the one person who’d immediately helped him, protected him, even against a few of the other people within the Tutorial.

  She was one of the strongest there and none of them had any idea how powerful Jimmy would become. All they saw was a cripple whose body he couldn’t control and who could only speak in halting broken words that made sense only half the time. He’d also received a Title right out of the gate [Always Underestimated] that made him able to change the Status that he showed to others. He’d purposefully made it read as Uncommon Ranked from the very beginning and still hadn’t changed it to this day. From the first moment they’d met she’d showed him patience and empathy. At the time she thought she was helping an invalid. It made his heart warm. It reminded him of Joanie.

  By halfway through the murder house they called a Tutorial, he’d gained enough levels to bring everything up enough to for the first time in his life, be whole. He would remember the moment to his dying day. When his body for the first time did exactly what he wanted it to. The look on Alura’s face was priceless, the smile she showed him. He would never forget what she’d done for him and the bond that had been forged between them as she watched him go from invalid to the strongest person in the Tutorial, saving each others lives numerous times. It became a tether that would never break.

  No matter how much Alura brought him happiness the sorrow still cut into his soul, his inability to protect those that had counted on him to do so. Their Town had survived all three Monster Waves but at the heavy cost of three fourths of their people who had died to see it done, including children and the City Stone had been destroyed leaving nothing but the carcass of a Settlement. There’d been nothing left. The one saving grace was they’d been only four days travel from the Academy City of Avalon and at the very least had been able to escort and protect the survivors. When they’d arrived he and Alura knew an important choice had been set before them.

  Most of the refugees stayed with the Academy which was open to people willing to work and since all of them were Uncommon and Common Classes they didn’t have a ton of choices. A few with kids were sent to Frostholme, one of the few places that would take in low Ranked people with children. Avalon only did so when it was at least a Rare Ranked person who brought something to their Faction and had an interest in the scholarly pursuits. Their choice of destination had been made by Alura herself.

  During the time of the World Council when she’d seen the name of L’Sana M’Ras upon the Power Rankings and through research within the Network found that the woman was a part of the Independent Faction of Umbra Mortem, she refused to go anywhere else. He’d already known she’d been what she termed a slave-soldier which seemed to be everyone that wasn’t born rich in her World but somewhere in the 130 years of her life she said this L’Sana had saved her, protected her, and left a heavy memory in her head. His eyes scanned down to her bulging belly. Whatever made her happy he would do. She was carrying his child, a state of affairs that he’d never thought he’d see in his wildest imaginations.

  She’d recognized she’d been pregnant since the Third Monster Wave but had kept it from him until they’d survived. He’d been angry with her for the first time and it had led to their first fight but within a few days of cold shoulders and hard looks they’d both apologized to each other and it was forgotten.

  He’d have to admit it was still strange seeing her outside of her armor. According to her a Shade Elf’s gestation period was only 5 or 6 months so she was getting huge and in less than two months he would be a Father. In his existence he’d given up on the delusion of ever having children from the beginning so everything the System brought since the apocalyptic first day, to him, had been a blessing, even with all the death, he would never give it back.

  They stood in a line of people that led to the exit from the massive room the portal existed within where guards in dark leather and armor stood and ran people through another screening process. Ahead of them he saw children and elderly of all three races. They all seemed happy and excited for their futures which was few and far between on the landscape of Erebus and its reality. It boded well in this place living up to the reputation they’d been able to ferret out, that of a place led by people that cared. He knew he should put his Stone away. It had already drawn several eyes watching it floating near his head as he walked but with Alura pregnant and everything about this place an unknown, he didn’t want to risk it. He’d also kept his Title up showing him as an Uncommon Ranked Mage to any that decided to throw an [Identify] his direction. He couldn’t hide the fact he was Iron Ranked but still there were plenty of Uncommon Ranked with courage that had been able to carve their way to Iron.

  They slowly moved up the line as he held Alura’s hand. She looked stunningly beautiful as always, her hair a dark gray, skin matching the color and her eyes, a piercing crystal blue almost white. When she smiled it was a shy smile as if she’d never learned how to truly do it as a slave.

  They’d both shared everything about their past, him and his life as a cripple and her, the life of a soldier, a slave, and as a whore. She’d had trouble telling him the last part but that was behind them. He didn’t care. She was beautiful to him in all ways and his love for her was pure. Nothing would ever shake it much less break it. Her previous life had made the woman he’d fallen for.

  Another two hours went by before they’d shuffled their way through the line and exited the building after answering a few questions. They’d already gone through a much more intensive interview process at Oklahoma. As a couple expecting a child combined with them being Ex-Owners of a Settlement and experienced combatants, they’d been given a private room within the Fortress itself on the bottom floor right next to some kind of theater as well as several options for vocations. Everyone in Umbra Mortem had to contribute.

  While Alura was pregnant she would be working at the Training Rooms teaching young aspirants and when she’d had their child she had an option to try out for the Shades, the soldiers/police force of the Settlement. She was very content with both opportunities. Her most fervent hope was to some day meet her hero L’Sana M’Ras, the lover and consort of their new Lord, Gideon Sho.

  He himself had been offered an overload of options even though he had somewhat hid his true strength by keeping his Title up. True Intellectual Classes were few and far between for most Settlements. He had the options to choose either between being a teacher at something called the Playpen or trying out for the Shades or joining his Wife at the Training Centers. He’d also been told in passing that there would be a competition the next afternoon, the winner getting a once in a lifetime opportunity to have the chance to be a member of one of the elite parties of Umbra Mortem itself. They hadn’t really given the offer in sincerity after seeing he was only an Uncommon Ranked Mage. His wife had almost choked with laughter when the Commander at the Portal had mentioned that fact along with telling him it was probably beyond his capability to win the Tournament.

  After her laughing attack and the confused look of the Commander’s face, the look Alura gave him made his decision for him. His wife wore the pants in this family and he would have it no other way. Looked like he’d be entering a tournament tomorrow. At the time he’s just told the Commander he needed the day to think about it much to Alura’s continuing laughter.

  Jimmy kissed her as they went to sleep for the first time in their new home. It was a tiny little room with one bed, a small table and an even smaller shower Alura would have trouble fitting into but it was theirs. That’s all that mattered.

  She was passed out within moments of her head hitting the pillow as he placed a gentle kiss on her round stomach. His gaze was filled with wonder. He, Jimmy Sampson, cripple, soon to be Father, married to the most amazing woman he would ever know. As he drifted off to sleep his thoughts went to his Momma. He wished she was here to see him and what he’d done with his life. He remembered the vow he’d taken when the System came. He’d promised himself he’d be a hero. He’d save those that couldn’t save themselves. Tomorrow he would let everyone in the tournament and his new home know the Chaos Lord was here and would give his life for Umbra Mortem.