“First things first!” Ivy said after fixing her now dirt den hair. “We need to procure some information on what’s leading this creature here. And who more perfect to ask than this cabins only known resident.”

  “Unless she’s married.” Heracles chimed in.

  “Sure, unless she’s married.” Ivy straightened her armor and cracked her knuckles. “Now my friends, allow me to do the talking. I have a way with the working css of this nation.”

  “Really?” Yesenia asked.

  “Why yes, my mystical companion. My wet nurse was actually working css. Along with everyone who serviced on mother’s vineyard and apiaries. They found me quite charming, they told me themselves.” Ivy smiled broadly and knocked firmly on the door.

  Yesenia grinned. “This is gonna be great.”

  There was a sigh, heavy foot falls, then the door swung open. Lily Naro stood a head taller than Ivy, looking slightly annoyed. “Thought I told you to be quiet?”

  “You did my good dy, and I apologize profusely for the breach of that arrangement, but I do believe we may have started things off on the wrong foot.” Ivy let off a megawatt smile so bright the midwife had to blink it off.

  “Okay?” Miss Naro said ftly.

  Ivy cleared her throat and bowed. “I am Ivy Elizabeth Alexandria Marie Humble, and with me of course are my companions…” She gestured at those behind her.

  “Why do you say that whole thing.” Heracles said. “Just say Ivy.”

  “She’s compensating.” Yesenia jabbed.

  “She can’t poop?”

  Before Ivy could respond, a ugh left well tusked lips. “You know I got herbs for that, just gotta ask.”

  The heiress rose out of the bow forcing herself to keep the smile as bright as ever. “Very… kind ma’am. But I assure you I am in no need of such remedy.” Ivy heard Heracles behind her holding back ughter, causing her pulse to rise.

  The mid wife smirked like a cat pinning a mouse. “Well hun, if you’re ever in need to relieve yourself and ole Lily ain’t there. I’d start with removing the stick from your rear. Could help things start flowing.”

  “Stick from…” Her cheeks flushed a deep purple.

  “Honestly, dunno how you didn’t think of that yourself. Must be uncomfortable.” Naro mocked

  Heracles burst out in fits of chittering and clicking, spping his knees and nearly falling over. Even Yesenia could not keep themselves from having a snicker behind a pale hand. Ivy nearly cracked when she saw even her proud mount, chortling off to the side.

  Ivy steeled herself against the grinning woman. She felt all the smaller under the weight of someone so resembling her maid. But this was not Ballona, and she didn’t not have kindness in her words. So she would receive none in return. She spoke clearly and precisely, annunciating each sylble with the utmost of care.

  “You’re a bitch.”

  The ughing screeched to a halt. They gawked at Ivy, horse Lily included, then shot to see the reaction of not horse Lily. The midwife stood arms crossed, as severe as a gatekeeper of the deepest pits of hell. Ivy did not break her stare, clenching her fist for a possible melee.

  Suddenly and without warning, the ughing resumed. A more joyful sound could not be found even with a child on Hens Eve. Deep and echoing through the trees around, Lily Naro let her ugh be known by all the creatures in the whole wood. For some reason the ughter was scaring Ivy more than the hard stares.

  Miss Naro wiped a tear from her eye. “You are a hoot girl!”

  “Um… Thank you?” Ivy said.

  “You all come on inside! Let me make you some tea.” Lily turned and disappeared inside the cabin.

  Heracles followed close after, pushing passed Ivy. “Do you have any cookies?”

  Yesenia approached and gave Ivy a pat on the bicep. “I stand corrected. You do have a way with the working css.”

  That pulled Ivy out of her shocked state, and she blustered and nodded. “Yes… Yes! Just as I said! I know how to strike deep into the heart of the folk of Breged! With cursing!”

  Both entered the humble cabin. There wasn’t too much in the way of furniture within, a firepce, simple table, a few chairs and a cot pushed up into a corner. Where the room cked in furnishing though, it made up in color. Lining the walls was a wide variety of earthy herbs and fanciful flowers at various stages of drying. Bottles and jars of sky knows what stole the mantle pce and table. You could even hear the old wood of the table creaking under the weight of so much gss and powder.

  Miss Naro was pcing a beat up old kettle over the small fme within the firepce. Heracles had already taken cim of a chair at the table, looking with wonder at all of the jars. Ivy strolled up beside him gazing over the assortment.

  “Quite the stockpile my dy. Do you pn for a pgue?” Ivy said with a chuckle.

  “Salways good to be prepared. Never know when somebody needs this or that. Back pain, can’t sleep, cut leg those sorts of things.” Lily said.

  Ivy chuckled. “I’m afraid we may have haltered a bit of your business in that market recently.”

  “Oh? And how’d ya figure.”

  “Well, we discovered that the great Memaw Herbata was accidentally using mystical healing herbs in her tea. I suppose no one realized because none in this town are fond of tea. Quite the pedestrian sort.” Ivy mused.

  “Prunel Vulgaris. Yeah I know about it. Grows pretty heavy round these woods.” Lily said.

  Ivy paused for a moment. “You knew of the herb?” She became defensive. “Then why hadn’t you used it. You could have been making healing draughts for the entire town.”

  Lilys kettle began to scream, violently communicating that it had reached boiling. “Mhm. Lady in the woods starts passing out magic potions. I’d say I could do that for bout a few months fore someone decided I was a mage or worse.” Using a metal hook the kettle was retrieved.

  “What’s worse than being found to be a mage?” Ivy asked peering at Yesenia.

  “Being found a hag.” Yesenia said examining Lilys mantle.

  “Exactly.” Lily said dropping the kettle on a deeply burnt spot of the table. “At least most agree wizards are somewhat like people.”

  “Well, your hag stones don’t really help your case.” Yesenia said eyeing a few rounded stones with holes seamlessly flowing through them.

  “Adder stones.” Lily said passing out small tin cups. “And they’re just trinkets. Some say they protect ya from spirits.”

  “Hmm…” Yesenia looked around more.

  “Do me next Miss Naro! I wanna learn stuff!” Heracles snagged a bundle of light pink flowers set inside toothed leaves. “Is this magic?”

  “That’s catnip.” Lily poured the fragrant tea.

  He tilted his head. “Do you have a cat?”

  “No son, it’s for anxiety and digestion. Bout the second best cure for both.”

  “What’s the first?” Ivy asked.

  “Sex.”

  After a pregnant haha pause Ivy said. “Weeell, Lady Naro as much as I enjoy hags and sex we do actually have a few things to ask you about.”

  “Go on, shoot.”

  “Have you, perhaps, noticed any sort of strange monster activity around your home recently?” Ivy asked.

  “Sides your bush demon?”

  “Yes, besides them my dy.”

  Miss Naro thought for a moment. “Welp, if we nix the ones y’all already killed. Theres a couple roach hound hives, a few cockatrice nests near the ke beds, seen a few harpies going innd, there’s those living trees down near-“

  “Okay, alright. Let me narrow your line of thinking a little. Have you noticed any feline creatures in specific?” Ivy smiled mock patently.

  “May also be able to fly.” Yesenia added.

  “Hmm. Cat that flies. Spose y’all don’t know if it’s got a cats head or not?”

  “No ma’am. We’re going off cw marks and foot prints I’m afraid.” Ivy said.

  “Doesn’t narrow much then. Could be anything from a Sphinx to a Wumpus if I’m bein honest. How big?”

  “Supposedly, quite rge.”

  “More to the sphinx side then. Found any droppings yet?”

  Ivy ughed jovially. “I hadn’t even thought to ask, quite the good question Miss Naro.”

  “Yeah. Weirdly good questions.” Yesenia said eyeing Miss Naro. “You know quite a bit about monsters. Monsters not even from Breged.”

  Lily chuckled. “Can’t an old dy have hobbies? Need I remind you, y’all were the ones asking.”

  Yesenia stared for a moment. “I guess.”

  “Now, could i ask why y’all are asking me bout monsters? Given you’re spose to be the monster hunters.”

  “Of course, I apologize for not being clear my dy. You see, this feline beast is heading towards your abode, and we were tasked with finding out why that might be. And to protect you and your home as well, of course.”

  Before Lily could speak Heracles stood from his chair. His forcefulness nearly toppled the table and all its herbaceous contents to the floor boards. The suddenness and strength sent everyone’s thoughts elsewhere. He clutched the bundle of light pink herbs in his hand.

  “I figured it out.” He said with determination to rival a gcier.

  In a beat, Ivy rolled her hand questioningly. “Figured out what, exactly?”

  “You said it’s a cat.” Heracles stepped forward towards the firepce. Burning resolution flickering in his eyes in a dance with the fme’s lights.

  “Son, what are you yapping about?” Lily asked.

  Heracles threw the bundle of herbs into the fmes and they caught quick. The room was filled with a pungent floral aroma as the leaves curled and fked into ash. Their smoke twisting into the chimney above and dispersing into the great outside.

  Lily shot up and grabbed Heracles by the shoulder, spinning the boy around. “Now what in the biting fangs did you do that for!”

  “That’s what was attracting the monster! I dunno how you guys didn’t even notice. No brainer really.” Heracles crossed his arms pridefully.

  Ivy stepped forward. “Heracles… My friend… What did you just burn?”

  “The catnip. You said the things a cat. It smelled the catnip. Duh.”

  Ivy brought a hand to her mouth. Yesenia glided outside at speed.

  Lily grasped Heracles by both shoulders. “Son, nothin alive could have smelled that bit of cat nip over everything else in here.”

  “Oh. Then it… wait what?”

  Lily squeezed his shoulders, threatening to crack his shell.

  Ivy became dizzy with looming dread. “Heracles… The smoke…”

  “What about the-“

  He was interrupted by a screaming whine from outside. It sounded far away. The leathery wing beats foretold it wouldn’t be for long.

  Heracles posture slumped. “Was that…”

  “The consequences of your funny business? Yes I do believe so.”

  “I was gonna say a griffin…”