Chapter 63

  “Part of me wants to know how that tent-molding magic works. The other thinks it’s a dumb idea to ask about these things.”

  Ralton chuckled, and brought him into the castle. They were greeted by a stiff, but strangely healthy-looking butler. They walked through the castle until reaching the back. The butler then stopped then, and looked at Acryoa. “I am afraid slaves are not allowed beyond this point.”

  Wonder said, “Even if I need him to explain all the business shit? Acryoa’s the one with the head for numbers and keeps track of everything, not me!”

  The butler shook his head. “I’m afraid not, sir. But I can assure you the others are in the same position as you, so there will be minimal risk.”

  Wonder sighed and looked at Acryoa. “Sorry, Acryoa. Ready?”

  Acryoa nodded. “Go ahead.”

  Wonder retracted Acryoa into the Stasis Menu. Then they were let in. The room was full of a crescent-like table, where most everyone else was and eating. On the far side was a throne too ornate for a real world, flanked by two smaller thrones. Blood was in one, obviously working while eating. He and Wonder locked eyes, shared a smile, then went back to work.

  Ralton said, “That’s Blood Thunderclap. Head Prince. A bit nuts, but I think you’d actually like him.”

  Wonder nodded. He whispered, “Yeah, already met him. Decent guy… in and out of the bed.” He smirked and winked.

  Ralton actually managed to hold back laughter.

  Wonder then spotted someone he knew. He quickly walked over. “Hey… haven’t seen you since Talcini. How are you doing?”

  The Lightwraith noble looked up in surprise, and smiled. They spent a few minutes in idle chatter and sharing notes before a gong sounded out. Wonder quickly joined Ralton again, sitting next to him.

  An old Lightwraith walked in. But he was clearly still in great health, especially since he did not wear a top outside a belt for a scabbard on his back. He was actually darkly tanned, only light with his scars, and decently ripped. Despite the wrinkles on his face from age, Wonder had a feeling this guy could go up against All Might or All-For-One or Superman and give them a workout… and if not win, walk out in a tie.

  “All rise for King Thunderclap.”

  They all rose. Wonder saw a lot of scowls, and more than one appreciative glance at said muscles. King Thunderclap sat down, and said in a clear tone, “You may sit.”

  Everyone did so. Well, except Blood, who leaned to whisper in his father’s ear. King Thunderclap’s dark blue eyes met Wonder’s ruby ones, then nodded to his son. Blood sat down.

  He must be pointing me out as his mate. Only way that interaction is logical.

  King Thunderclap said, “I thank you all for coming, especially those who come from outside Fasis. We shall make this quick, for I have family business that I to attend to afterwards. One week from now, there will be the King Trials.”

  Nearly everyone at the table burst into cheers. Wonder looked at Ralton, who looked at Wonder grimly. This was what he feared.

  The King continued, “For those who do not know, the Trials are a battle royal. Each of the families of Fasis, and those who do not come from Fasis, chose an adult champion in their family to participate. The one who survives becomes King of the Lightwraiths. Those who fail, but somehow survive, are deemed Weak and therefore the slaves of the King.”

  Wonder scowled. That would explain the butler’s noble bearing… it was probably the only way in his mind to keep any grace. How… yuck.

  The King said, “The other 4 families’ longest survivors become the other Champion families, who help rule and show a face to the outside world. Therefore, we ask for any non-Lightwraith mates to come in to take legal responsibility of the children of their mates.”

  Wonder looked at the other non-Lightwraith mates. A lot look just as disgusted as him, and worrying at their lovers. Only one elf, who was in her equivalent of mid-50s, seemed exhausted. Wonder had to wonder how many she had lost to this insanity.

  “The official announcement shall go through tomorrow. I will be having to work on deeming legal responsibility, so I shall take care of any concerns tonight. First… are there any that wish to stand down?”

  Wonder blinked. “Huh? I’m sorry, you just hit me with Rule Confusion.”

  The Talcini Rescuer leaned a little to explain to Wonder, “Non-Fasis families, especially the ones who live in Tribes, are allowed to bow out without a blow to their honor. It is thought of that they live outside City Lightwraith law, and only follow the Light goddess.”

  King Thunderclap nodded. “Exactly. Some still participate due to seeking glory and honor, but I always want to make it clear that it is only an option.”

  Wonder said, “I see. Thank you for the clarification.” He nodded to his friend, and looked around. He did see in some Lightwraith faces debating. But most of them still stood tall. Only two shook their heads… thankfully, one of them was the mate of the exhausted elf, which seemed to bring light to her eyes.

  King Thunderclap nodded. “Very well. Let us proceed with the legal proceedings.”

  “One minute, sir. May I make a comment and suggestion?”

  Wonder looked at Talcini rescuer. King Thunderclap nodded. “Go ahead.”

  The guy stood up. “I suggest that Ralton and Lady Lacrosis not be added to the Trials.”

  Everyone said, “WHAT THE HELL?!?”

  Wonder yelled, “WHY?!?”

  Thunderclap indicated Wonder with a wave of his hand. “What our human friend asked. What is your logic, Lord Jasis?”

  Why could that name not stick in Wonder’s head?!?

  Jasis said, “Publicity, my lord. Both of them do not have adult children to champion the families, and yet it would be dangerous to lose them. Especially now, when the Light and Dark Kingdoms are no longer divided. We are separate from them. They need to keep thinking positively of us, and Ralton and Lady Lacrosis are both public, positive figures to all of Honei, showing the best of our ways to all.”

  There was a lot of grumbling. But Wonder knew what they were all thinking: they were severely outnumbered. Not only did humanity and Forest Spirits alone outnumber them, there were the races that were brought in by Malchon and their descendants. Then there were Tamers, who added thousands of Beasts to the picture. Like it or not, a war would lead to dishonorable defeat for the Lightwraiths. So staying on everyone’s good side was a big-ass must.

  King Thunderclap thought a bit. He looked around. He said, “Lady Larcrosis is not one of the Champion Families. If she agrees, I do not see any reason for her to bow out.”

  Larcrosis stood and bowed. “In fact, my league, I have to attend a training regiment in the Divide this weekend. I was going to have to bow out anyway so we can train our honorable recruits.”

  That caused everyone to switch over sides. Wonder really wondered at the pure hypocrisy of the situation. They liked to slaughter and torture the “weak”, yet saving them was honorable? Yuuuuuuuck.

  Thunderclap looked at Ralton. “As for Ralton, it is true you are our Ambassador. And changing our Ambassador now would be considered suspicious by those who even worship our Lady Light.”

  Wait, did Wonder just hear a twist of hate?

  Thunderclap continued, “I ask you stand down. As compensation, I shall allow you to stay as the fifth Champion Family. I doubt anyone would want to get near you once you started speaking anyway.”

  Wonder said, “Sound. Wave.”

  Ralton burst into a huge smile, and basically challenged the King by booming, “WHY THANK YOU SIR!!!”

  Yes, the tent-castle shook and no one could even think, much less hear, for the next 10 minutes. And that short timeframe was really only because the elf knew healing magic.

  King Thunderclap rubbed his ear. “Still, considering the chaos of a Trial, I’ll have your mate complete the legal responsibility change to be safe.”

  Wonder rubbed his own ear. “Sounds good to me.”

  It was pretty boring. King Thunderclap would say to each mate: “[Insert Name], mate of [insert name 2], do you take responsibility for [insert name 2]’s children as your own in the event of death?”

  The reactions differed slightly, but there was no refusal. There was one who had to do, as they were between two families. But for a polygamous race, that was only one time. Many the shared ones didn’t really get used for this.

  Wonder got his turn. Same script, blah-blah-blah.

  The prompt popped up. Wonder looked, and blinked.

  Do you take legal responsibility for Lord Ralton’s son and his mother? Y/N

  Wonder blinked. Didn’t he already have… he’d have to talk to Ralton later. Double-check everything.

  Wonder hit the Y. “Of course, your… warrior-ness.”

  Ralton smirked. The others glared, though a few seemed ready to laugh at Wonder’s attempt to dodge calling Thunderclap a kingly title.

  Though he’d probably prefer I’d call him Dad too. Wait… I actually dunno about that.

  The proceedings continued, and Wonder dug in. Once food was gone, everyone was done. King Thunderclap stood, and so did blood. Everyone jumped to attention. Woooooow.

  King Thunderclap said, “Thank you all. You may finish your meals and leave. Except you, Mr. Wonder Hyde. My son has informed me that you were at Talcini, and I need a direct report about what happened. Please come with us.”

  They headed for a door in the back. Ralton said, “Huh? I’d thought…”

  Wonder said, “We went on vacation almost immediately. It’s probably just a few questions to clarify reports.”

  Lies, all of them, but what the heck.

  Wonder followed the Thunderclaps out the back door. They went through a few hallways until entering an office. To Wonder’s surprise, it was an actual office with books, paperwork, etc. There was even a giant window overlooking a greenhouse/garden, and a few pictures of Blood as he grew up. The most warrior-like thing in here was some weapons hanging from the wall, but those were even locked behind glass containers.

  Wonder said, “I’m… gonna admit to being surprised. I was expecting more of a gym. Especially with how healthy you look for your age, sir.”

  King Thunderclap nodded, then sat down at the desk. “I thank you for your compliment. I shall be brief. You are mates with my son.”

  Wonder looked at Blood, who was now as emotionless as a Slender Man. Wonder said, “Yes, and so is my other mate Rose. But it’s still relatively new.”

  “Would you still consider him family?”

  “You know if I answer honestly, this whole King/civilian thing stops and I’m gonna start treating you like crap because you have to become family then, right?”

  King Thunderclap actually smiled. He said, “I am fine with that, Wonder.”

  Wonder said, “Great, King Shithead.”

  Blood gasped, “Wonder!!!”

  “Hey, he enforces everything I hate about the Lightwraith culture! Don’t tell me you didn’t see that comin’, Blood. Also: you talked!”

  Blood blushed and pulled down his hat to hide his face. King Thunderclap said, “It’s a spell cast inside the Castle. Blood doesn’t speak, per say, but any can hear his attempts to speak.”

  Wonder then wondered if Blood truly was mute, or if his voice was so quiet it was basically the same thing. He’d have to check spells out later. And maybe do a test in the carriage…

  Why am I delighted at the thought of three-way sex?

  Wonder said, “Smart. I may have to borrow the mage to cast a permanent version on my carriage.”

  Thunderclap’s lips smirked slightly. “It can be arranged.”

  Wonder crossed his arms. “Let me guess the next bit. Since Blood is an adult, you cannot do the whole official proceedings. But you want me to get him the heck out of Dodge.”

  Blood froze, and looked at Thunderclap. “Dad…?”

  Thunderclap nodded. “I have heard that Ralton has requested you go ahead and take Majin out. I simply ask you take Blood as well. Like it or not, he is not a Lightwraith. Some will take advantage of the upcoming chaos to strike out.”

  King Thunderclap straighten. “I do appreciate your honesty in the distaste of my politics. But I ask you see this request like this: I am a father. You are a father. You must understand the impulse to keep one’s children safe, no matter the cost.”

  Wonder sighed. “I hate to say it, Thunderclap, but I do. If Blood agrees to it, he’ll come with me when we evacuate the dance floor. But it is his decision.”

  Thunderclap nodded. “Of course. Now please… I do have work to do before I’m swamped with these legal permissions all day.”

  “One last question. Blood, can you leave us a minute?”

  Blood tilted his head, but popped out. After checking to make sure he didn’t stealth, Wonder said, “Achylon?”

  The room is covered. I can only do this for a few minutes, so hurry up.

  Wonder walked up. “Thunderclap… I am going to ask you something now. And I want the fucking honest truth from you.”

  He whispered his question, just in case there were still bugs. Thunderclap was shocked, but his answer was what Wonder suspected.

  Thunderclap said, “I do not know what you plan to do, but there is nothing that can be done.”

  Wonder said, “Thunder. I thought there was nothing to be done about my situation on Earth, and yet here I am.”

  He shoved off, and nodded. Achylon prompted: I have dropped the shield. Light is gonna get nosy, though.

  Wonder said, “I suggest you spend at least a few days with Blood, Thunderclap. Especially if you do think this is your last week on Earth.”

  That would satisfy Light. Wonder was asking something “dishonorable”, like if Thunderclap had cancer or something.

  Achylon confirmed: She’s backing off! Clever tactic.

  Thunderclap nodded. “I plan to do so, don’t worry. What we talked about…”

  “Does not leave this room. I understand. Good day, King Shithead.”

  “Hmmm… no cool nicknames like Soundwave?”

  “I already named Izuku after my favorite Hero. I do not need to nickname my dad-in-law after his mentor.” Wonder smirked before leaving the office.

  To his surprise, he thought he heard Thunderclap said, “Hmmmm. All Might. That is an interesting thought exercise. I’d wonder how I’d do against All-For-One…”

  Oh shit, Thunderclap was geeky too!

  Wonder did not need that tidbit.

  Chapter 64

  “Soooooo was that over the fact you slept with Blood?”

  Wonder laughed. “Apparently Blood has some more fondness of me than usual… okay, lifemate sense went tingle-tingle, so that was Thunderclap giving me the traditional parent talk to boyfriend.”

  Ralton laughed. He said, “I’m surprised to find you have a second mate! You are basically joined to Rose at the hip.”

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  Wonder said, “I’m still personally deciding on the whole situation, to be honest. But Blood is nice, the sex is good, and… well, we have time.”

  *******************

  Blood’s Turn

  Blood snuck into his father’s office. His STLH was as high as it could go, so he could do that even with his father. Still, his father had a way of knowing, so Blood kinda hoped for an excuse for a private conversation. He was still debating revealing the plan, and begging his father to just surrender. After all, if this plan worked, Thunderclap wouldn’t have to even become a slave.

  Blood froze when he realized there was someone else. It was his father’s personal manservant/valet, Rochester. The Lightwraith was in his 30s, probably too old to be the King’s sex toy/eye candy. But King Thunderclap liked what he liked, so no one disputed it. And Blood had to admit, Rochester also was good at numbers, so probably helped with actual work.

  Thunderclap was looking over the garden. “…it still only seems like yesterday, Rochester. A day of paperwork or hosting guests would get too long, and I’d look into the garden to see Blood playing or training with the other kids. It would make everything seem better again, and give me the strength to pull another day.”

  Rochester asked, “Do you despair that he is growing up?”

  Thunderclap shook his head. “No… quite the opposite. I’m beyond happy he has finally found mates of his own. And they have children, which he’ll raise as much love and fondness as any good parent. I’m… just sad I won’t get to see them, or any children he has, playing along those trees down there.”

  “I doubt you have enemies kind enough to end you, sir.”

  Thunderclap smiled at Rochester. “Is that your honest opinion? Are you also going to start calling me King Shithead?”

  Rochester’s mouth smirked slightly, and Blood fought laughter and despair. He did see Wonder bad-mouthing his father. But to be actually there… ugh. Just ugh.

  And Wonder started treating Dad like his kid, not his dad!!! AAAAAAAAA!!!

  Rochester said, “If you desire me to, sir.”

  Thunderclap chuckled. “Maybe tonight.”

  DAD!!! EW!!! TOO MUCH INFORMATION!!!

  Thunderclap sighed. “But back to seriousness. I have lived too long, and have a tendency to fight with every ounce I have. The only way to defeat me without killing me would be to cut off every limb, and possibly my jaw. And even then watch out for my head. By the time a medic got to me, though, I’d die from blood loss. No matter what… I’ll either win again, or I’d die.”

  Thunderclap sighed. “You have treated me beyond well, and I consider you a lover as well as enemy and servant. I’d like nothing more than to call this off, retire, and just run into the multiverse with you and Blood. But she won’t allow it. Not without…”

  Thunderclap wiped his eyes. Rochester walked over, pulling out a handkerchief and wiping his eyes. “I love you too, Ulinior. And I promise… no matter what, it will end well. And you’ll get to see your grandkids playing in that vast greenhouse.”

  Thunderclap looked at him, and then hugged his lover tightly. Deciding he had enough for now, Blood warped out.

  Once he was in his room, though, he froze. A phrase was now sticking in his brain. Did his dad call Rochester an enemy as well as lover?

  …was Rochester one of the Slave March?

  How did he? And how did he get to be his father’s right-hand servant?

  Blood knew then he couldn’t leave his father’s side. Lifemating with servants wasn’t unusual… heck, for Lightwraiths, Lifemating with enemies was expected at some point! But with what was about to go down, even the best-intentioned promises had a way of going out of the way. And Blood couldn’t tell if they were lifemated or simply lovers.

  Dammit, talk about complicated!

  But he needed to tell Wonder…

  *******************

  Narrator Dialogue Time

  The week was chaos. The Trials took place in all of Fasis, so people were not only evacuating but securing their homes to make sure nothing got damaged. There were unofficial rules saying that no children were to be killed, as well as no raping nor property damage, but obviously those got ignored. The champions were also in full-on preparation mode.

  Wonder and his family took advantage of this, of course.

  Once the preparations were complete, the Hydes left. Everyone would be able to swear up and down that Wonder was in the evacuee camp 90% of the time, or out helping the RDF recruits train.

  But then the day of chaos came.

  Chapter 64

  Malchon’s Turn

  The Trials began at the massive, circular town center. All of the contestants started there. There was a giant diverse circle. All families were allowed to participate, including a few slaves hoping for freedom of one sort or another. Of course, the Slave March was there, both known and unknown. There were even a few non-Lightwraith warriors there, looking for glory. It was an unofficial, but actually followed, rule that these would be killed in battle instead left to survive for slavery.

  The first unexpected thing to happen was a Forest Spirit to appear above them all. But he quickly explained with booming, loud tones:

  “HELLOOOOOOOOOO EVERYONE! I AM MALCHON, AND I WILL BE YOUR ANNOUNCER THIS KING TRIALS!”

  There was polite applause. A non-Lightwraith always had to be hired to monitor and publicly announce the results. And Malchon had done this and similar events in the past, so they all could trust his announcer skills. Even if his core values were debatable.

  “NOW YOU ALL KNOW HOW IT BEGINS! BUT FOR THE HANDFUL WHO DON’T, THIS WILL BEGIN WITH WHEN I TELL YOU TO! AND ENDS WHEN ONLY REMAINS STANDING! WHO’S READY?”

  Everyone cheered and rattled.

  “DISPERSE NOW!!! ONCE WE ARE SPREAD OUT ENOUGH I WILL CALL IT!”

  Everyone ran out of the town center. Malchon used his magic to bring up multiple screens, and basically send a camera feed and vital feed of each individual into his head. He flew higher and to a safe distance.

  Once everyone was sufficiently spread out, he shouted, “BEGIN NOW!!!”

  *****************

  Ulinior’s Turn

  Ulinior panted as he worked his way down the stairs. Dammit… he hated getting old. His knees were killing him.

  He heard the announcement, and sadly smiled. Especially when he turned to see an unexpected face looking down at him.

  Rochester.

  Ulinior chuckled sadly. “Should have known. You’re not just Slave March, are you?”

  Rochester smiled back. “No. I am the Slave March.”

  “I am jealous. I’m pretty sure you’re older than me, yet look nothing like it.”

  Rochester chuckled as he pulled out a machete. “I appreciate the compliment. But guess what my research on you found? 2,908 years old. You were the Third King, and have continued on since.”

  Ulinior felt the red bloodlust rising in him. Dulling his mind, making his sight literally red. He tried to quickly memorize the sight of his lover before the bloodbath. The Light goddess would now take control, force him to kill one of the two people he had allowed into his heart. One of his only sources of happiness…

  It happened so fast, Ulinior didn’t even feel pain.

  One second, he was only looking at rising red, filling the heat fill him… the next, he was basically a slab of meat falling down the remaining stairs. No limbs, and no jaw. He bounced once, twice, and definitely passed out. For the next thing he knew, he was under probably 7 beams pinning him down. But some magic was keeping him alive and without pain.

  Rochester smiled sadly. “It’s a great plan. Hide, and kill off those who go down the stairs like a funnel. Once the contestants kill each other off to a handful, then go and slaughter them, arranging it so those who can lead are the top 5. And now, you get to be bait.”

  Ulinior had finally gotten outsmarted.

  Rochester smiled, becoming the lover once more. He said, “I told you it would end well. When I am King, you will be my manservant and lover until that life finally fizzles out. And get to see your grandkids playing in that greenhouse after all.”

  Tears leaked out of Ulinior’s eyes. He grunted. Rochester understood, because came over and kissed his forehead. “Just rest, my love. The spells will keep you numb…”

  A body fell down the stairs.

  With an arrow in its eye socket.

  Rochester blinked, then groaned. “Dammit, someone’s modified my strategy. Oh well. It’ll still cull the crowds for a while.”

  But Rochester could die. Unless that sniper got taken out… that stairwell was the only way out…

  A pot appeared in the middle of the room. Rochester blinked, then quickly got his machete out…

  Cards appeared.

  The pot was a genie!!!

  Ulinior tried to do a warning, but it was too late. Rochester suddenly shook and convulsed like he was hit by lightning, and collapsed. Ulinior saw with relief that he was still breathing. But since Beasts were considered weapons in this Trial, that was a totally valid win.

  Wait.

  Tamer.

  It couldn’t be…

  Wonder’s purple hair came into view. “Heya, Shithead!”

  Chapter 65

  Wonder’s Turn

  “Both vitals are stabilized. They’re officially defeated, but neither will die. Sir, I’m not a medic…”

  Wonder said, “Rochester is smart enough to not cripple his lover with something to help later. Maybe cellular regrowth magic or prosthetics? It definitely is possible in a land with the impossible force of magic.”

  Crisis sighed. “True.”

  Wonder checked the status of everyone else. Izuku had officially given ownership of the bunnies to Wonder, so that was Wonder’s primary attack strategy right now. People were getting eaten left and right by undead cuties, as well as some Warrior Myzune who had joined his platoon after Talcini. People were probably very confused on which Hyde Tamer was in, which was exactly what Wonder was hoping for.

  Rose and Sakura had both boosted Wonder before the match. It was allowed, and in fact expected. So Wonder’s DEF would be at its impossible invincible until tomorrow morning. Still, he couldn’t risk a debuff. And the moment Light realized who he was, he had no doubt she’d strike full force. So stealth tactics it was.

  Wonder said, “You know the plan?”

  Crisis popped out his newest upgrade, a crossbow. “I fire anyone who takes the bait. Stay out of sight until needed.”

  Wonder nodded. “You sure, though? If Light thinks you’re me…”

  Crisis smiled sadly. “Sir, the only thing I ask is that if Kat can’t revive me again, then you go and tell my brother I love him… and I’m sorry I’m not coming home.”

  Wonder smiled sadly. “Deal. Yugi, stay with Crisis. Stabilize and defend all three for as long as you can.”

  Yugi’s lid jiggled, and more cards appeared.

  Wonder nodded. He summoned the bow, and flipped his hood back over his face. “Now… time to go Fortnite on these assholes.”

  Wonder signaled, and Yismil teleported him into a nearby abandoned building. Yismil then popped up his shield, chirping happily. Wonder smiled. “Atta boy! Let’s do this!”

  ***************

  Wonder 100% blamed his Fortnite experience on this. He always won by prioritizing survival over hunting. When he heard a major throw down, he went the opposite direction. Or he’d hide in a place where he could channel victims and took them out as they went. When he did cross paths with someone, he’d either get away or shoot them dead.

  His mate and daughter couldn’t boost his AGI and DEF to max, so Wonder decided to prioritize survival. And it was proving smart. Most Lightwraiths were melee, so Wonder got them. But there were a handful of Hunters or ranged users, so a few attacks got in. But they bounced off of him. Or Wonder was able to pin them, and fake dying until the other was stupid enough to show himself.

  Yismil? He was trying. But he was a stealth bug, so could only keep the shield 5 minutes at a time. But he was doing his best… and it was kinda fun to watch a mace user try to smash Wonder’s brains, only for Yismil’s shield to appear and it bounce off harmlessly.

  When the sun went down, Malchon announced, “WELL, WE’RE BEING EFFICIENT TODAY!!! WE ARE DOWN TO THE TOP 20 SURVIVORS!!!”

  Nice. It may be done before the DEF boost ran out.

  Crisis, sit-rep!

  Well, no one can get in now. Unless they’re willing to dig through bodies.

  Don’t let your guard down.

  Never will, sir.

  Wonder shot through, smiling at bodies being eaten by undead bunnies. Probably the real reason they were already down. Those who survived were those smart enough to stay off fresh dirt, or were fast enough.

  Wonder’s leash on them was about to die, though. They were tiny things still, so were tiring out. Wonder sent out the de-summon order, with the idea that they’d de-summon back to Izuku once their tiny tummies were full.

  Wonder heard his name called out as a survivor, and groaned. Malchon making things difficult again.

  OH WELL!

  Wonder threw off his hood. It didn’t have any stat bonus. But he did speed up, intending to make hitting him difficult and better attacks. He started zooming through the city.

  There was a female shriek of frustration that rang through the very air itself. Wonder heard Achylon burst into laughter at some back part of his mind.

  Malchon chided, “NOW NOW NOW! NO GODS ARE ALLOWED TO INTERFERE ONCE THIS BEGINS! REMEMMMMMBER?”

  Wonder heard multiple cuss words. He shot two dueling Knights as he passed.

  Light has accepted her lot! HA! Go Wonder go!!! The whole Nightmare Realm is cheering for you now!

  That did boost Wonder’s spirits, sadly.

  Wonder shot faster, taking out 8 more. Malchon announced, “WE ARE NOW AT OUR TOP TE… SIX! SORRY, MALCESE! WONDER HYDE…”

  Wonder shot… and realized he was being followed.

  At his speed.

  Chapter 66

  Wonder looked behind him. It was a woman dressed in silvers. Probably a sex slave or prostitute.

  Wonder smirked. “Looks like you and I had the same strategy!”

  The woman smirked, pulling out knives. But they kept the exact same pace, so while they could shout at each other, Wonder was safely out of knife range. But he would get in it if he spun around to shoot, because that few seconds of slowdown would allow her to catch up.

  So…

  “GARADOS!”

  Garados appeared, wrapped around Wonder. He sent a stream of water into the other’s face. The other dodged… but then got wrapped up by Garados, who jumped off just as he was shooting. One good paralyzing shock, and that one was out.

  “WONDER HYDE JUST TOOK OUT SPEEDSTRESS LILLYDRESS! OH GEEZ, WHO THOUGHT OF THAT NAME? ANYWAY, WE HAVE NOW REACHED TOP 4!!!”

  Good, almost done.

  Wonder shot towards the city center. He shot a flare arrow towards it, hoping someone would take the bait.

  Someone did.

  A giant mass of metal walked in. Wonder did an appraisal…

  And saw the invincibility buff.

  Oooooo fuck.

  Wonder huffed. “MEGATRON!!!”

  Megatron rolled in, sending the piercing spikes. The knight fell…

  And Yismil’s shields barely stopped a spear. It punched through, skidding to a stop barely in time.

  Wonder looked. A spearman! The other huffed, adjusting his stance.

  A third started to sneak up, but Wonder sniped him. Malchon shouted, “FINAL TWO!!! SHARPROCK THE SPEARSMAN VERSUS WONDER HYDE!!!”

  Wonder said, “You from the Tribes?”

  Sharprock nodded. He said, “I will make sure your family feasts well for their lives for your honor.”

  Wonder smiled. “I genuinely appreciate that, Sharprock. I shall make sure the same for yours if the coin is flipped for that promise alone. Shall we?”

  “We shall.”

  “AND THE BATTLE BEGINS!!!”

  Sharprock threw his spear, and it split into multiple. Wonder shot away, Yismil’s shield protecting him for now. Yismil whined… the spears puncturing his shield was draining him already. Wonder called out, “PONCHA!!!”

  The ground rumbled. Sharprock quickly jumped out of the way as a giant turtle emerged. Poncha smacked his lips, then yawned.

  Wonder got behind Poncha’s boulder-sized shell. It had an immortal Invincibility stat, so he could hide behind his herbivore all day long. Problem was, it was still in the middle of the open, so he only had a few minutes until Sharprock rounded the corner.

  “OH SWEET! WONDER HAD AN EARTH-TORTOIUSE! WHO NEEDS A WALL WHEN YOU HAVE ONE OF THOSE? BUT SHARPROCK IS ALREADY ON THE MOVE… AND HELLO AGAIN MEGATRON!!!”

  Sharprock had rounded Poncha’s shell when the metallic lizard jumped him, still in pierce-defense mode. Sharprock got a spear thrown before he had to throw Megatron off.

  Wonder easily dodged the errant spear, then fired at Sharprock’s back. He then ran to the other side of Poncha. Garados climbed up onto the shell, blasting the easy access ways with water to make them sluggish mud.

  Of course, Sharprock only jumped over it.

  Megatron HP to zero.

  He must have a dagger too!

  Wonder zipped away, firing a few arrows. He rightly suspected that Sharprock would dodge them. Sharprock threw some more spears. Wonder then got an idea.

  Wonder grabbed a spear to throw it at Sharprock. He wouldn’t hit, but he was hoping for a few second’s hestitation to get a headshot.

  He got zapped for his efforts.

  He grunted as his limbs grew heavy. 0 damage taken, but you are now paralyzed for 5 minutes!

  Great…

  Garados reappeared, wrapping tightly around him. Yismil popped up a shield.

  Sharprock huffed, and started throwing spears. Garados was able to shoot a few away with his water beam, but the other hit the shield and shattered it. Yismil whined out of exhaustion, and then disappeared.

  Yismil is too tired to continue!

  Wonder panted, “Poncha!!!”

  Poncha’s head snapped out, stretching like a bungee cord. Sharprock jumped out of the way, and shot his eye socket. The other vanished in sparkles.

  Poncha HP 0!

  “Fuck… STARSCREAM!!!”

  Sharprock looked up, probably guessing where “Starscream” was coming from.

  Wrong.

  The black dragon Wonder got from Achylon appeared, tearing down multiple tent buildings in the process. Sharprock spun around, probably planning to throw a spear… but had to jump out of the way to avoid getting squished.

  Starscream did his job wonderfully, forcing Sharprock to jump around and not get squished. Yet keeping his tough scales between the opponent and Wonder. Sadly, multiple tent-houses went down.

  But 5 minutes passed, and the heaviness in Wonder’s limbs left. He shook himself out, jumped up and climbed up Starscream’s back. Sharprock was busy dodging Starscream’s tail when Wonder shot.

  And this time, there was no dodge.

  A perfect headshot.

  “THE KING TRIALS ARE OVER!!! AND THE WINNER IS WONDER HYYYYYYYYYYDE!!!”

  That was when the core of the plan went into effect.

  Chapter 67

  Everything slowed down to a trickle, and got a lot brighter. Wonder smirked, then turned around. “Lady Light, I presume?”

  The woman standing there probably looked beautiful. Almost a perfect Barbie doll, with the exception of pitch-black hair. A toga was supposed to complete the effect.

  Wonder saw the monster within, however.

  The Barbie was like a bad hologram. The black-eyed, sharp toothed beast within convulsed and contorted. Its skin bled lava, probably due to the Light affiliation it made such a bad mockery of.

  Her voice did manage to be pleasant, “Why yes, dear! And I must congratulate you on winning the Trials! I haven’t had a human win in…”

  She tilted her head, both forms seeming to have to think on it. She finally concluded, “Well, before Hoseki was even born!”

  Wonder said, “I’m honored.”

  He smirked. “But a goddess coming down to congratulate the Trials winner personally? No offense, but I smell an extra twist here.”

  Both Monster and Barbie smiled. The Monster smiled with the thought of catching someone in a trap.

  Little did she know.

  “Why yes! You see, I am quite tired of being a goddess. Immortality takes its toll, as you probably can guess. The Trials are partly to see if one is ruthless enough to take my place.”

  Wonder said, “You want to quit? I mean, I get the whole immortality thing. I read too many books not to. But isn’t it a sweet gig?”

  Light chuckled. “It is! Which is why only the right person can have it.”

  A pop-up appeared in Wonder’s vision: You may become the Light god. Accept? Y/N (P.S. Wonder what are you doing?!?)

  “The only side effect is…”

  Wonder slammed on the Y.

  Light froze, her fake Barbie sliding off in shock. Wonder said, “Lose my family? Lose my home? My money? My humanity? Itsy-Betsy problem, sweetheart…”

  CONGRATS YOU ARE THE LIGHT GOD!!!

  All your family died. Wonder what the shit???

  Wonder looked up at the multitude of screens that now appeared for him. He found the one he wanted. He undid Lady Bitch Light’s last command, and removed her power in two clicks.

  Your family is revived!!! And starting to lead a revolution!!! HAHAHAHAHA I LIKE YOU!!!

  Wonder smirked at Lady Light, who looked more like a shriveled-up zombie than anything. “I am now in your position, which means I can clean up your shit. Darling… DON’T TRY TO DECEIVE A DECEPTICON!!! NOW GO SAY HI TO YOUR GRANDMOTHER, I THINK YOU’RE BEHIND ON RENT!!!”

  Wonder slammed the command, and Light spun around. A dark void opened up, and Achylon could be seen beyond. Light looked at Wonder in a horrified second… and was sent right on through.

  The void closed, and Wonder found the command to return Hoseki back to normal time. He’d figure out everything with Acryoa later. But for now…

  Malchon was continuing the announcement, but there was suddenly a world-wide announcement:

  A NEW GOD OF LIGHT HAS BEEN DEEMED, AND LADY LIGHT HAS BEEN BANNED FROM THIS NIGHTMARE REALM SERVER/WORLD AND GODHOOD DUE TO SEVERAL VIOLATIONS OF THE NWG POLICIES. THOSE WHO WORSHIP THE LIGHT, WELCOME YOUR NEW GOD WITH OPEN ARMS. HE’S ALREADY PISSED AT THE LOT OF YOU, ESPECIALLY LIGHTWRAITHS.

  Suddenly, a surge of heat lit up in Wonder, and shot out like a massive tidal wave. Wonder had no doubt it would spread out throughout all of Hoseki.

  Wonder sighed. This just turned from RPG to some sort of god simulator. One Wonder never played.

  Fuck.

  He needed Acryoa.

  And cuddles from his family. That would be awesome.

  Epilogue

  “Everyone is in stasis, sir.”

  “Good work, Acryoa. Do we have a bead on the next Dimension?”

  “We do. And permission from the Elder Gods to land… but they are making it clear they don’t want us to stay long.”

  Wonder groaned. “We did tell them why we’re even gonna be there?”

  “Yes sir. And I did clarify… ‘long’ means over 5,000 years.”

  “Don’t humans only live to 1,000… oh, never mind. I won’t pretend to know the minds of gods, and I am one.”

  Wonder looked over his crew… his family. Acryoa, his right-hand man, who held their Forest Spirit baby daughter in his arms. Izuku, years-long Tamer Champion, and his wife Pal. Sakura, head of the RDF, and her husband Majin, who held grand baby Melody. Rose and Blood both, smiling for the next adventure with their mate.

  The only one not coming was Kat. He walked up. “…you could stay. Achylon actually likes you.”

  “Yeah, and she knows we’re probably gonna be back. If nothing else, Kat, you’re my son and she has to deal with that. But I think after we spent so long reforming the Lightwraiths to being a species of Heroes instead of the crappy I-don’t-even-want-to-say they were when they came under me… I think Hoseki will appreciate a chance to breathe.”

  Kat chuckled. He said, “Still, offer’s open.”

  “Keep the guest rooms open. I still am figuring out timeframes for immortality, but I suspected we’ll be visiting soon.”

  He punched in the last command on the magical carriage, which had long since been god-level upgraded. It was now basically a traveling RV for the multiverse as well on Dimensions. Wonder said, “Tell Malchon if you see him that I hate his booming voice, but we may need to do an actual teamup if he stops being stupid.”

  Kat laughed. “You know he was only playing to let your guard down.”

  “It had the exact opposite effect. Don’t screw things up, baby boy.”

  Kat rolled his eyes, but hugged Wonder. “See you around, Dad.”

  He headed out and waved to the crew. “See you all, guys!”

  Everyone waved. Crisis closed the door. “Where to, sir?”

  “To pick up your baby brother!”

  “What?!?”

  Wonder slammed the go button. On towards the next Dimension, whether it was a game or not!

  THE END!