Once upon a time, in fact, not long after my start as the hero some three years ago. On a snowy winter evening, there was a pair of weirdos, father and son.

  Who, being in a reconstituted family situation, knocked on my door, one after the other after a short interval, with their just remarried bride and bride-to-be on a leash, dropping them into my embrace, already completely naked under their simple coat, panting, and ready to act.

  Or was it the father who had given me his daughter-in-law and the son his mother-in-law...?

  Well, anyway, the two gifted me anew, their respective daughters, and we had a happy moment for four people, with 2, then at some point more, hearing spectators. Why would I care and waste my time to relate it, would you say? Especially since this doesn't concern anyone but me and my private life…

  And 6? Weren't we 5, including me? Was I turning senile there, to the point of not knowing how to count anymore? Some would say that this is what it means to spend your life making love and war. In the long run, it reduces your cognitive abilities. I've probably made a mistake, that's all.

  Well, nope, too bad hehe. There was an impostor among us. De facto, there were more than one, but well..., while one was insignificant and could be downgraded to a simple act of destiny, a passerby passing by, who, upon seeing the whole preface, ended up joining the main stage, the second one was of the utmost importance.

  This is the one we are interested in here. She was a girl, a teenager I picked up randomly amid my journey... HEY!! I know what you’re thinking! But to put some minds at rest and maybe let down others, I didn’t put my hand on here, okay! Well, I did...kinda? Perhaps at some point, but it was only to wash her and give first aid assistance! I didn’t have a choice!!! Did I?

  I encountered her while on a quest to ogle at some tourist spot well-known by women… I mean to pick rare magical plants in the forest near a lake known as a relaxation spot and swimming area for adventurers. Truly a good one by the way; I highly recommend it. It’s an authentic piece of paradise in the wild with excellent views in many places to appreciate.

  By chance, this place was frequented almost exclusively by women. It's not my fault if all men are dirty and don’t wash as often as girls do!

  Never mind, while on it, I came across this girl, wounded, full of scratches and dirt. I had no choice, you understand? I rescued her, and one thing led to another… no I did NOT sleep with her! Or even touched her, or think about how very attractive she might look in a bunny cosp– Why should I defend myself in the first place?! It didn't even occur at all, okay! That’s it.

  Thus, this girl ended up in my care for the time of her recovery, and since she was in a coma, I decided I would let her sleep freely at my place at some point.

  It was only the afternoon, and I couldn’t guess what would happen later.

  I was ready to check on her condition as soon as I arrived in a village for the night when this joyful mishap with the four other girls hooked me, not even allowing me time to peek a little.

  Back on business, why does it matter? Well, simply because this green-haired girl I’ve met and saved before looks strangely like the one standing in front of me at this very moment, like two drops of water. Intriguing, ain’t it? I wonder why I didn't make the connection before.

  “… … Who are you again? What’s your name?”

  BANG!! Here goes the spoon… Did I look like a difficult baby in need of food or a filthy stalking pervert to you? At least Keep your damn fucking scary throwing weapon for such people!

  Fortunately, it would appear that I had not lost my reflexes despite the events and my time in prison. I managed to barely avoid it this time, and the spoon continued its race before brutally ending its course in the wall behind me, completely stuck… Hey, wait! Wasn’t it a stone one?

  “Are you kidding me!” The beautiful girl with green hair, who just acted without warning before even bothering to speak, opened her mouth while the spoon was still vibrating behind me on the wall, making a clear and high-pitched sound.

  “No, you! Are you kidding me?! You almost killed me twice today!!”

  “Ho..., so you do remember!!! You are indeed making fun of me! You’re lucky the spoon isn’t in my hand anymore! First of all, with your last loss of consciousness, it’s been 3 times in a row now. But who cares? I will heal you anyway, so it won’t harm your day.” She crossed her arms out of irritation, just like before at my earlier momentary absence, which didn't bode well.

  Regaining my senses given the situation, I finally caught on to her last words. She said three… What could she possibly have done before my first blackout so that I had no recollection of it whatsoever? Wait… could this phantom pain on my finger from last time…… … …

  SCARY!! Hopefully, I’ll never reminisce about this one! At least it explains the reflex I had just now. It seems that the spoon was the more dangerous one, no, actually… It was definitely the deadliest of all!

  A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

  “Okay, again, sorrrrrryyyy, my bad! Honestly, I don't remember ever hearing your name. But I’m all ears now. And by the way, do you have a sister? A twin, perhaps?”

  In my attempt to lighten the mood and divert my mind to something less dangerous for my mental health, I tried to shift the topics. Anything that wouldn’t directly put my life at risk would’ve done the trick, but since I had some inquiries, I asked about her sister. Just so I could confirm my thought without making the girl use the rest of her torture device kit.

  Although I wish she didn’t have any. Of course, I was talking about the silverware set. The spoon was not ours in the first place but the guild’s. Why did she have to steal it…

  “Oh! Do you remember her? I didn’t think you’d!” Her expression changed completely, and she seemed very pleased with my last sentence.

  For real?

  "She’s not my twin, but we do share similarities and are not too far in age. It was long before the time when you saved me in the forest. In fact, from what I’m aware, she was one of your first conquests.

  But that’s odd, you went down with her further than with me, well, she did end up pregnant, so sure you did, did-ya! But she told me you didn’t have full possession of your means at that time and wouldn’t remember her.

  Well, I’m glad she was wrong. This took away the need to explain. I was just about to bring that up next and was wondering if I should use the spoon or another utensil to keep your attention.”

  She responded to my dumb question in a good mood as if everything couldn’t have been more normal and better, all the while threatening me and unknowingly setting red flags.

  Forget what I’d said. I shouldn’t have asked; let's not even talk about the hidden threat. Not too far in age? Long before our first encounter? I’d better not ask if she was the oldest… No, she must be a few years apart and above in age. She has to! Or my whole life would be a lie.

  At least she had confirmed my thoughts; she and the character of my memories were indeed the same.

  “But don’t worry, she never snitched on you nor accused you even after what you’ve done.

  Of all of the women who reported you at the court, none could claim you did something to them that you didn’t do to her after all.” The girls began to speak again after a short break in a completely honest and devoid of malice manner.

  Wow! Really? Everything? She must’ve been through some pretty rough times… and has the stamina of a hundred orcs combined… and the lust of a thousand goblins, at least.

  “But she accepted everything and forgave it all. More than her, you gave us a hard time ya know. It was such a shock at first. She disappeared one day without a word, then got back pregnant, already full and almost ready to give birth–”

  “Stop! I got that thanks. Can you let me rest in peace?” I stopped the girl in her tracks to prevent any more disturbing details from reaching my brain and making me feel guilty or even outright criminal. What have I done? She forgave??

  “You don’t want to know more? Like how is she, or the babies are?”

  “Nope, not in the least, or else I might be hanged if I don't do it myself. Or thrown into some dark jail of unknown location present on no map, full of black muscled men and soap, with dreadful torturers as supervisors.

  In both cases, after a while, it will be me, 1000 feet underground, surrounded by devils and promised to a fate of never-ending suffering.”

  “Oooh!! You amaze me. She stated you would say something like that, how far-sighted. Well, it’s normal coming from her. She had this gift since birth and approached you knowing the consequences very well. In contrast, that’s weird she didn’t predict you’d remember her.” Apparently already expecting my answer, the girls were left unsurprised by my answer and responded back with another red flag… or should I say, a death one!

  Should I kill myself now before she could see me ever again, just to ensure? Do I have anything left? Only one chance, excluding all possibilities of her not being a PSYCHO? Do I have the right to prevent the disaster looming on the horizon and avoid all the bad endings that await me?

  Well, I have sinned supposedly, so better not, even if the said sins are not yet known to me, I shall be responsible until the end… but if I end it early…. NO! I’m a man and, furthermore, the Hero! I honestly can’t resolve myself to flee the problems I caused.

  Slashh---!

  “Huh?? Where did you get that wakizashi from, and why did you plant yourselves with it? I have to heal you again now. What an unnecessary setback. Well, I had been warned, so I shouldn't be surprised. She asked me if you were to make foolish or silly moves, to tell you the following:

  Ara ara, you can’t be careless, you know <3 Or you might regret it for-e-ve-r <3 If you die, I would not be able to vouch for what your corpse becomes and what could happen afterward. Fufufu. You don’t want to end up as a poorly finished chimera, that’s even less than a zombie, forced to pay back his debt even after his flesh and bones crumble, don’t you <3?

  Or maybe I should trap your soul in a girl’s body and make your carcass rape you until one of the two broke? Or maybe both, repaying the debt by being a whore for his own corpse and random people. Isn’t it a great idea? If you are thinking about something silly again, you better start to ponder what you'd prefer. And if you ever have any ideas to make your torment worse, I’m all ears.<3

  Now, now, pitiful man, let me take care of e-very-thing <3 And wait for our third meeting without making a fuss <3 Like the bad dog you are.”

  CLAP CLAP Magnifique! Magnificent! She deserved an award! Where are the red carpets, the adoring crowd’s applause, and photographers' flashes when you need them? I ask you!

  But did you really have to take this tone and make all these scary faces while doing so? Cuz, you know... It seems having a heart attack would be counterproductive.

  …..

  Too bad, I have tried, at least. Maybe I should start praying?

  As I was wondering what sins I had done to deserve what was happening and if God would agree to forgive me, my consciousness left me once again.