Lori had been right about time flying by before, but we were two days away from Thanksgiving—what we expected to be the end, no matter what happened—and I wasn’t sure how prepared I was. Physically, I was easily in the best shape of my life, and it wasn’t even close. The past month of training helped make sure of that, especially with Val and Sven’s help to push me more than I was used to, allowing me to gradually build up stamina and a bit more strength. But mentally, I felt like I barely had a lid on things, and I was pretty sure I hadn’t slept in two weeks. I was just blinking at night and it was suddenly morning again.

  I was trying to keep everything that had me worried away from Megan and Ryan. Ever since the dog attack, they were both scared to go outside, so I didn’t want to add to the issues they were dealing with. The dog attack and the fear it left her with couldn’t stop Megan from wanting to play with her best buddy. Nearly every day, someone would drive Ryan over so they could play. Ryan got her to watch pro wrestling—one of his biggest interests—with him and Megan got him to play with her dolls and action figures. He didn’t quite gravitate to video games like she did, though he would try to indulge her interests too, especially since she was a bossy little kid. When I saw how happy they were making each other, I just couldn’t bring myself to tell them that we were expecting McLeod to make his move soon.

  Since I had been having so much trouble sleeping, I decided to let Rebecca have the bed to herself and to lie down on the couch. I was exhausted and still couldn’t get myself to fall asleep. Instead of tossing and turning, ruining her sleep, I figured it was best to thrash about uncomfortably on my own until the elusive sleep finally let me get just enough rest to function the next day. It wasn’t the most pleasant way to go about my nights, though neither was keeping someone up with me at night.

  One night, I shut my eyes and tried to think, hoping that sleep might come a little easier for me than it had in previous nights. We still didn’t have any definitive answer if McLeod was going to attack on Thanksgiving. Val had tried to remember everything she could, but she couldn’t pull a meaningful date for McLeod beyond Thanksgiving. It didn’t feel great to use an assumption and guess to plan around. If we didn’t have anything to go off on, we were completely at his mercy, so Val’s idea was the best one we had.

  A hand on my shoulder jolted my eyes open. Rebecca was standing next to me by the couch, a concerned look on her face.

  “I didn’t mean to scare you. I had to use the bathroom and noticed you weren’t in bed again.” She came around and sat on the ground next to the couch, her back leaning against the cushion where my head was. She held out her hand and I gave her mine. “I know you’re not okay, and I can’t fix that. Still, is there anything I can do for you?”

  “Having you nearby lowers my blood pressure,” I mumbled, settling down. I still couldn’t believe how much comfort I felt just looking at the back of her head. How could someone with so much bedhead in a shirt two times too big just make me feel so at ease?

  “Maybe not when I scare you.” Rebecca chuckled and held my hand close to her. Her presence was a light that pushed away some of the depressing thoughts my mind seemingly couldn’t kick just on its own. She helped me see things just a little more clearly. “Do you need to vent?”

  “I’m not sure,” I admitted. “I think I’ve told you—and everyone else—what I’m worried about with this. I just have to do it and I’m nervous. Terrified, really. I’ve never wanted to die or anything, but it feels like it’s more than that now. I’m so happy with you, Megan, Shelly, and everyone else that I feel like I’m more afraid of it than ever before. If we don’t win, then I can’t imagine that I’d get to come back home. If I got to come back home, what kind of world would we get to live in?”

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  “Being scared is good, I think.” She gently squeezed my hand. “If you weren’t a little scared, I’d be worried. While you can’t let fear control you completely, it does keep you alive. It keeps you alert and on your toes. You’re not overconfident, and that might save you.”

  There was a flash of lightning in the window, briefly lighting the room up with a harsh, white light. A rolling boom of thunder followed it a few seconds later, gently shaking the house. The sound of a nice, steady rain hitting the roof meant we were in for a rare fall thunderstorm. There was something soothing about the rhythmic noise, even if the storm was out of season. In a way, that made it more welcome.

  “I feel like I’ve let fear control me for most of my life.” Memories of Mom and Dad hit me. The shadows I saw regularly after, for years, until they were removed as a result of the killer’s Anomaly. The tightening in my chest when I just saw a crowd at school. The loathing I projected on myself because I thought my sister resented me for our parents being killed. After feeling like I had a little bit of control in my life, I wanted to have it forever so badly.

  “You might have, but I don’t see someone who’s paralyzed by fear now. You probably still have some of that person in you, but you really have done a lot of good. I didn’t see a man too scared to act in that mountain. I didn’t see a man too scared to act when he had to step up with a little girl who needed him. I didn’t see-”

  “Oh, fine!” I rolled on my back and held my arms out to Rebecca. “Maybe I’ve made a little progress.”

  She smiled and joined me on the couch, putting her head on my chest. I was still scared. Nothing was going to change that. What did help was knowing I had too many people to come back home. I knew I had to push forward and fight McLeod. I knew the power of friendship wasn’t going to magically win us the day, and there wasn’t some prophecy that guaranteed our triumph, but I had to trust in my friends. They were all in the same position I was in. If we didn’t win, a lot of families were going to be losing sons, daughters, brothers, and sisters.

  “How’re you feeling about it?” I asked.

  Rebecca gave a little shrug. “My job is just to take away his powers if you guys don’t kill him first. I think my job is easier than everyone else’s. I’m just looking forward to this being over and done with. I’m well past my retirement age, so I’m going to enjoy my golden years and get married to a very handsome, very loving young man.”

  “I can’t wait until we’re really old and I can tell people you’re over two hundred years old. That’s the real reason I proposed.”

  “No one would believe you now and no one will believe you then.” Rebecca gently slapped my chest, before going silent and still for about a minute. “I miss Rose every day, and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to truly move on from what happened, but I’m glad I get to make something new with you. I think knowing she still lived a full life and got married...it’s helped me make as much peace with what happened as I believe I’ll be able to.”

  “Wait, do you mean ‘something new’ as in kids, or just life?” I was suddenly very uncomfortable under Rebecca.

  She snorted and laughed. “I meant a new life, but I don’t think I’d mind if that included a few dozen kids. That’s something we can talk about after the wedding.”

  When the storm passed a few minutes later, Rebecca was already asleep. As slowly and carefully as I could manage, I took the blanket I brought down and put it over us. Rebecca seemed to curl up a little with the blanket over her and mumbled something in her sleep. She mumbled and murmured happily in her sleep, snuggling up against me. I was going to keep what I had in my life safe. I had to.

  It wasn’t just about living for the sake of living. There were people I loved and wanted to live for, and they loved me back. Getting through the mess with McLeod could give me the chance to help make the world a better place. I didn’t want people to grow up like me or like Rose: alone and with limited support. Kids confused about any superpowers they realized they had didn’t deserve that kind of life. McLeod wasn’t doing much to help stop any future discrimination against Anomalies and the people who had them.

  That helped steel my resolve. There wasn’t going to be any dying trying it. We were going to succeed.