Emperor Guillotine stood in his office as Spider walked in. “Excellent timing Spider, I have some news.”

  “What has happened Sir?”

  “I have called in one of my Generals to help us deal with the giant robot and its operator. His name is Doctor Overkill, he will arrive by the end of the episode, uh I mean the week. He was a pure terror to our planet’s enemies! He shall surely be able to defeat the robot!”

  Spider stood resolutely at attention, but his mind simmered, “Am I to be replaced? Have I not been loyal enough? Why is this person coming here?!?!?”

  Emperor Guillotine continued, “Anyway, this will be a great moment for us! When he arrives, I can shift our main operations to the new base and leave him in charge here, the expansion will allow us to increase our influence in the region and begin our efforts against Japan and Unicorn from a new flank!”

  Spider knew the proper, expected response, “GLORY TO BIG FIRE!” he shouted as he performed the formal salute.

  Guillotine smiled smugly to himself, “Indeed! Now Spider, your next task is at hand, I need you to bring me a particular Faceless Minion from your Goon Squad.”

  Jim had been in the merchant marine for nearly twenty years, in that time he had been to every country on Earth that had a seaport. He had hauled virtually every kind of cargo imaginable, ranging from military weapons to rare animals, consumer goods, bulk natural resources, and some stuff he honestly had never been able to identify. Walking the ship tonight he looked out at the clear skies over the open ocean and once again basked in the sure knowledge he had made the right decision those years ago. There was simply no better life to live. He reached for his nicotine gum, couldn’t smoke on this voyage – they were hauling oil, and relished the little rush he got from it. As he chewed, he turned to go below and turn in for the night, stopping only to pick up a seemingly forgotten screwdriver. It meant he was the only one to get a really good look at it when the colossal tentacle reached up and grabbed the ship, he alone was still outside. The impact wrenched the vessel to port causing a serious list almost immediately, but oil tankers were notoriously hard to sink, the vessel struggled to right itself, the physics of its construction opposing the great animal trying to sink it. With the collision alarm blaring Jim headed for his emergency station, suddenly immensely glad it was at the lifeboat deck. When he arrived, he immediately began preparing the lifeboat for launch in case it was needed. The ship’s hull was still valiantly resisting its destruction, but the unknown horror was not giving up. Jim watched steel beams and pipes bend, crush, and break under the pressure as more giant limbs appeared and constricted the ship. He knew the mighty ship would give them time to evacuate, but it would be going down regardless. The captain finally gave the order to abandon ship, and the men began to arrive, Jim counted them off in his head and on a role sheet. Finally, only the captain and first officer and Jim himself remained outside the lifeboat, they made a final check on the role to be sure then boarded, just as a great shrill shriek signaled the hull failing. The captain hit the launch button, and the lifeboat fell away into the sea. Behind them the ruined tanker broke in two and tons of crude oil from a compromised storage tank spilled into the sea. The crew sat in stunned silence, not able to believe what they had just witnessed: their ship was destroyed by the Kraken itself!!! For several moments they floated in silence, then they felt the elation that comes from having survived a potential life ending event. Just as they were starting to cheer their survival, Jim witnessed a tentacle through the windscreen and the lifeboat was crushed under its titanic strength. As the water came to claim his life, Jim grabbed a life jacket and seat cushion clinging to them in desperation.

  Koko was roused from her bed at 7 AM by knocking at her door. Stumbling through her apartment to the front door, she silently contemplated whether this person needed to die or not. Opening the door at last, she was less than amused to see Mamoru. He looked fresh, chipper, happy. It was horrible, unforgivable, he was – A Morning Person. “It’s Sunday, go away,” she moaned and attempted to slam the door in his face.

  Mamoru’s hand flashed out, grabbing the edge of the door, “Koko, there is an urgent meeting at headquarters; I was sent to ask you to attend. It is very important; I’ve been calling but there has been no answer.”

  Koko’s foggy mind lazed into slow motion from full stop, “I turn off the ringer on Sundays.” But suddenly her mind shifted into first gear, “But that was before the robot, I never thought to change my routine…” Suddenly feeling ashamed she looked back at Mamoru, finally fully awake. “I apologize for being irresponsible,” she gave a slight bow. “A meeting you said?”

  “Yes, some guy from the maritime safety agency has asked to hold an emergency briefing this morning at 9:30.”

  Koko’s mind ran through her necessary morning routine, they would need 45 minutes or so to get to headquarters, so she had an hour or so to get presentable. No time for anything too elaborate. She could do it. “Okay, I need to shower and change.”

  Mamoru took a step forward as if to enter Her Sanctuary, “Great the-“

  Koko’s hand flattened against his chest and shoved, since he was off balance he stumbled back a step beyond the threshold, “Oh no, no way Mamoru. You wait outside.” She slammed and locked the door leaving him outside. She headed to the bathroom shedding her pajamas as she went while deciding what to wear.

  Standing outside the door, Mamoru looked towards it with dissatisfaction. Pressing his ear against the door he waited till he was sure Koko was gone. Then he slid down towards the floor and produced a cable from his jacket. He began sliding the cable under the gap between the door and the ground and attached one end to a visor he put on. The device was a camera. “Hmmmn, can’t see anything but the kitchen and her patio,” he complained. He rolled the device around getting a look at everything he could, which wasn’t much, then withdrew it and put it away.

  Koko emerged roughly an hour later fully presentable. She was wearing a black sundress with spaghetti straps and a decorative corset with silver buckles to emphasize her bust. She wore white tights with black pumps that had straps running up over her ankle midway up her shin. Her hair was simply down long and loose, and she had a black parasol. She had capped it all off with a silver necklace and some bracelets. “Let’s go,” she said simply.

  “I’ve got the car downstairs, but really, you couldn’t even let me in? It’s so hot today!” Mamoru protested.

  She looked at him sideways, it was like he didn’t even realize he was asking to be let into A Girl’s Apartment. No way, what if he saw her dirty clothes, or the trashy romance novels? “Not a chance Mamoru,” she answered.

  Arriving at Unicorn headquarters Koko was led to the main conference room. Sitting at the table was a large man in a business suit. He looked like he was a professional wrestler who moonlighted as a salaryman, all he was missing was a luchador mask. Once everyone was seated, he introduced himself, “My name is Jiro Yamada from the Japanese Maritime Safety Agency.” He stood and bowed to the assembled Unicorn personnel.

  Sitting at the head of the table was the secretary Ms. Hayashibara, “Why isn’t the commander here?” Koko thought to herself.

  “Nice to meet you Sir and what is the reason the agency has called this meeting today?” Ms. Hayashibara asked.

  Yamada spoke from his seat, “I have been sent by the Agency to raise certain questions, specifically about the giant squid monster Unicorn field agents reportedly killed twenty-nine days ago. The Agency requires your proof the creature is actually dead.”

  Koko’s head cocked to one side in annoyance, but before she could speak up Mamoru answered, “I can assure you the creature is indeed dead, though we have no documented evidence as such. My portable camera was out of order, and we have been unable to access the robot’s gun cameras or Black Box Recorders. However, I was present to witness it being eaten. There is no doubt it is dead.”

  Yamada frowned, his head dipping towards the table, “I am afraid the Agency is not satisfied with such a tale.”

  Koko again moved to reply, but was restrained when Mamoru again went before her, “There is also the matter of about 100 witnesses to the event.”

  Yamada made a clucking sound with his tongue and spoke as if disgusted, “Ah yes, all of whom were mere teens and youngsters wasting time at the beach. We have determined their testimony is not trustworthy.”

  The entire Unicorn group exchanged astonished gasps and other sounds of denial. “Wait, you let their AGE determine whether or not you believe their stories?” Koko asked.

  Yamada looked at her for the first time in the meeting, “Of course. The young are notoriously unreliable, what with their unnatural obsessions with anime, video games, idol singers, all that garbage they waste their time on.”

  Koko started to rise from her seat, but this time it was not Mamoru who stopped her, instead it was Mr. Wallace, sitting on the other side of her, “Let it go Lass, this one is obviously not going to listen to anything.”

  Yamada then turned a scornful gaze to Mr. Wallace and muttered barely audibly under his breath, “Ugh, filthy foreigners.”

  Hearing the insult, Wallace did rise from his seat his fists balled in anger, but he was stopped by Ms. Hayashibara, “Mr. Yamada, this is worse than pointless. If you have some information to relate, please share it, if not our organization does have duties to attend to and listening to you insult and defame us is not among them.”

  Yamada produced file folders and pictures from his briefcase, spreading them out on the table so that everyone could see. “As you can see this oil tanker was sunk last night, the lone survivor described an attack by a huge sea creature, a cephalopod. A giant squid. Just like the one you claim to have destroyed.”

  Everyone snatched up a picture to see, all bore unmistakable images of tentacles crushing the mighty supertanker as if it were a toy.

  Koko stared at the image in front of her in disbelief. “It’s just NOT possible. There’s NO WAY it’s still alive.”

  Yamada looked at her disdainfully, “Oh, then please tell us ‘young lady’ what is in these pictures?”

  Making a supreme effort, Koko managed to restrain herself. “There is no way it’s the same monster. I still have meat from the first one in my freezer at home. There is absolutely no way it could have possibly regenerated this fast, even if did somehow survive the beating the robot gave it.”

  Several unproductive minutes later the meeting finally ended, and Koko and Mr. Wallace headed down to the hangar to see the giant robot. “Well Lass,” Wallace began, “I have a surprise for you! SHOULD BE THE PERFECT THING TO LIFT YOUR SPIRITS AFTER that meeting.” He ruffled her hair, and she hugged his arm warmly. The two of them had hit it off spectacularly, after less than two weeks it was like they had been friends their whole lives, their quirks and hobbies meshed so perfectly. Wallace had already introduced Koko to his family, and though Mrs. Wallace did have some “discreet” questions for Mr. Wallace, Koko was soon fully accepted by the Wallace family as a sort of Honorary Member. The two of them boarded the lift at the robot’s foot and rode it up to the maintenance hatch, after opening it Wallace showed Koko his latest handiwork.

  This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

  Inside the formerly bare space was now a crash couch like the ejector seat of a jet fighter and a set of monitors. “Now, the crash couch has safety restraints to hold you in place while the robot thrashes about, it should be fair comfortable. The monitors compress a 360-degree image from all around the robot into about 270 degrees in front of you, so you can see everything going on around you easily. The central one even has picture-in-picture capability, and we can feed you images from whatever support craft are out with you. You can’t technically “pilot” the robot with this set-up, but since you’ll have the control device it’s basically the same thing. Finally, we replaced the old rockets based on your statement about their inaccuracy; you should find the new ones about 50% more accurate.” He tossed her a jet fighter pilot’s helmet, “This also has a heads-up display wired into the computer access panels there, and it’ll feed you data about your surroundings, temperature, your movement speed, whether harmful chemicals are present, and all sorts of stuff! You can fight alongside the robot in complete safety from in here.”

  Koko SQUEEE’D in happiness, GLOMPing Wallace again. “You are so awesome!”

  “I know,” he replied. “One more thing,” he started again, “That other thing you wanted, it’s ready too. Built the controls into the right-side armrest on the crash couch.”

  Koko’s eyes shone with tears of ecstatic joy, “I will babysit your children for free for the rest of my natural life!”

  “Ah ah! You can’t fool me; I know you just want to eat Tomo’s pancakes. It’d be more like she and Billie would be taking care of you!” Koko put on a fake “Sad Puppy” face for a moment before Wallace smacked her shoulder, “Enough, let’s get some simulator time in and get you checked out on the new equipment. By the way do you have a name for her yet?”

  “Yes Sir!!! And yes, of course I have a name for her! I decided to call her Stargazer!” Koko chirped happily.

  Hours later Koko was again awakened in her apartment at the Ungodly Hour of 3 AM. Answering her cel phone, she saw the call was from Mamoru, “This had better be good.”

  “Koko, we have another report of a sunken ship, this time a cargo ferry in shallow water. Looks like our cephalopod again. Commander Shinichi wants you and Stargazer on the scene. I am en route, will be there in 40 minutes.”

  Snapping herself to as much wakefulness as possible Koko summoned up the resolve to answer, “Gotcha. Just wait outside till I am ready, I won’t be long.”

  Arriving at the conference room about 2 hours later Koko saw Doctor Barlow and Mr. Wallace waiting for her to begin the briefing. “So, what do we know?”

  Doctor Barlow’s accent this time seemed to be Irish, it was really starting to damage Koko’s calm that no one else seemed to notice the changes. “Your description of the one you killed, you are sure it was distinctly squid-like – with a long, pointy mantle and all that?”

  Koko’s head dropped to the side; the question had hit her out of nowhere with its seeming randomness. “Absolutely, it had a bunch of shorter arms, maybe eight or so, and two longer tentacles, a tall pointy mantle.”

  “The head was undoubtedly pointy and not bulbous?”

  “Absolutely, I can tell the difference between an octopus and a squid.”

  “If that is true, then this is a different creature. It is reddish brown in color, and it also has a bulbous head, and more importantly, only six tentacles. We’ve been monitoring it since the initial SOS was broadcast. It is currently moving northerly in shallow water just off the coast of Kyushu, it will soon enter a zone where the water will be shallow enough for you and Stargazer to engage it directly, if you are willing.”

  Koko did not hesitate to answer the Doctor, “Of course, I am not going to have people thinking my robot can’t kill an overgrown meal-waiting-to-happen.”

  Doctor Barlow smiled, maddeningly her accent changed again, this time to German, “Excellent. The beast has displayed no unexpected abilities, and like the last one, seems to simply be an overgrown animal. You should be able to kill it easily with the robot’s hand rockets or lasers. Make sure to aim for the bulbous head, blowing off the tentacles won’t kill it.”

  Koko’s eyes hardened and all mirth disappeared from her features, “Consider it dead.”

  Down in the hangar Koko was putting on the “safety” gear she had been given, basically knee and elbow pads plus some padded gloves and her helmet, Mamoru watched until she was finished, then he turned and headed for the remote control station from where he would observe the battle via the camera feed from the Unmanned Aerial Vehicle with its hi-tech cameras that would shadow the robot.

  As Koko finished putting the “safety” gear she had been given on, she raised the control device with its amazing interface to her mouth, “Stargazer it’s time to move out!”

  The happy BWEEP replied, and the robot stepped out of its maintenance cradle, fired the flight jets, and took off to meet its prey, the UAV following moments later

  As she flew to the combat zone, Koko was enveloped in a warm, fuzzy feeling, kind of like when you take really good anti-sinus meds. She was sitting here in this makeshift “cockpit” “piloting” her very own Stargazer. She was just like one of those guys from an anime! But which guys? Not that emo teenaged brat who was always complaining about how unfair everything was, seriously. What a little bitch, didn’t he have not one but TWO Drop Dead Gorgeous roommates? One of whom was even an Older Woman!! Loser. No, she much preferred that badass from the other show, the one who married his copilot, now that was a pair whose genetics were certain to produce a race of Ubermenschen!!!! Lordy, as gloriously hot as he was, and then HER!!!! The rack on her alone could probably power the fantasies of a million teenaged boys. Yeah, Koko was probably more like that guy and his wife. He was good at his job, knew it was necessary for The Greater Good, and did it happily! That was who Koko wanted to be like. But then Koko didn’t have anyone to be her “copilot” or “wingman” did she? Koko’s mind began to drift off, fantasizing about being in an anime and correcting its plot problems through the power of Being An Actual Person, she’d start with the little bitch, man him up some, primarily by you know, NOT being a complete jackass to him. She imagined it wouldn’t take too long to fix him, then she could move on to his little redheaded roommate. There was exactly one thing she needed, and Koko had just the thing, in multiple styles, colors, and sizes. Just as her musings started to turn really hot, a tone sounded alerting her that she was now in the combat zone. Dismissing her thoughts to focus on the matter at hand she began to scan the monitors looking for signs of the beast. It didn’t take long, the creature was almost exactly where predicted, right in shallow water, heading for a harbor.

  “Stargazer!! There it is over there GET IT!!!!” she yelled (somewhat unnecessarily) into the control. The robot replied with its happy BWEEP, and Koko was suddenly very grateful for the 4-point restraining harness holding her in the couch as the robot descended almost straight down headfirst, reversing itself at the last moment to drive its feet into the beast from above, the G-Forces involved had caused her to grey out, fortunately, the robot’s autopilot system seemed to be VERY good. “Lift it out of the water! We have to get a good look at it to prove its identity!!!” Stargazer grabbed a hold of the monster’s body hauling it up out of the water despite its protests. The monster’s tentacles coiled around the robot, and it began struggling to free itself. It was clearly an octopus and not a squid like the first one, the bulbous head and seven arms clearly differentiated it from the first creature. Koko was sure now! She and Stargazer had NOT failed before! “Here you go Yamada, get a good look at the image on the camera you stuck up old freak!” Satisfaction did taste sweet she thought.

  “UAV video transmission is flawless, image perfect. We have positive ID on the creature, it in no way matches the description of the first monster.” Mamoru and the others exchanged victorious handshakes and congratulations. “Good, continue monitoring the battle to the end!”

  Meanwhile, Koko had not noticed yet, but the battle was NOT going in Stargazer’s favor. The monster was huge, possibly twice as large as the robot, and Stargazer’s grip on its massive form was uncertain. The cephalopod was slowly but surely working itself free, they were after all the most intelligent invertebrates known to man. This one had been alive for nearly 200 years. It had known humans, and though it did mistake the robot for a giant human, it was an understandable error. But in its time, and at the cost of one of its powerful tentacles, it had learned many things about humans. For instance, their appendages were good at gripping things, but they had a flaw. The octopus did not know the name on the flaw, but it could exploit it. Its tentacles gripped the robot’s thumbs and began to pry them open.

  Koko was suddenly shocked when alarms began to blare! “Stargazer, what’s going on?!?!” Suddenly, the kraken’s enormous strength won out, its tentacles finally prying loose the robot’s thumbs, breaking one, and freeing itself from the mecha’s grip. The huge beast fell into the sea and used its siphon to blast a jet of water, not only propelling itself to freedom, but the impact of the pressurized water against the robot’s legs staggered it and Stargazer fell ignominiously into the sea. As Koko looked at the monitors in shock, she saw a damage icon come up, Stargazer’s right hand had been damaged!

  Stargazer raised itself from the water just in time to see the kraken return, speeding towards it like a huge, bulbous, fleshy missile. It hit the robot in its leg and sent it tumbling into the water again, quickly entangling the robot in tentacles.

  Koko noticed that Stargazer did not seem to be able to fight very well underwater, its speed was hampered by the density of the water, to her horror she realized the octopus was dragging them out to deeper water! “STARGAZER!!! We HAVE to get free!!! It’s trying to drag us out into the open ocean!!!” The BWEEP replied again, less happy sounding this time somehow. But only Stargazer’s right arm remained free, and its damaged hand was having difficulty. The water was reducing the force of its blows. Worse, the monster’s head was down by the robot’s feet, it was pulling them through the water feet first. There was no way to use the lasers for a killing blow, and the hand rockets were offline, the left arm being pinned to robot’s own thigh and the right malfunctioning.

  Back at headquarters, mayhem had broken out around the video monitor various voices contested for dominance.

  “What’s going on?!?!”

  “Is Koko playing a game with it???”

  “No, we have a warning light, Stargazer is damaged!”

  “That’s not possible, its armor is the strongest metal known to science!”

  “Sir! Comms are down! We have lost radio communication with the robot!”

  “More damage warnings coming in now!!”

  “Is the UAV armed?!?”

  “No, it’s a surveillance package!”

  “The creature is accelerating! It’s dragging them out to sea!”

  Koko sat in her couch, trying to figure a solution to the problem at hand, the monitors were telling her that her beloved robot was being slowly crushed by the huge creature she had seriously underestimated. She was going to die if she didn’t think of something. The rockets were out. The lasers couldn’t kill it without hitting the head, and she couldn’t see the head, but she could see one of the tentacles! “Stargazer! Target the tentacle! As far down as you can bend your head!” The BWEEP answered, sounding uncertain. Koko’s face scrunched at that. How could a robot have “moods”?? Seconds later the monitor showed the head’s target, it could see nearly the base of the tentacle, probably only 3 meters or so from the base. “Target approved! FIRE!!!!” she yelled!

  The octopus knew humans could not survive underwater; this large one would undoubtedly die if it could keep it down long enough. So, its plan was to simply drag it home to its trench. Bigfire would be pleased and reward it with more food. So hard to come by enough now it was so large. Bigfire had provided lots of food in return for shiny things it brought them. But suddenly, all thoughts of rewards and success in its hunt vanished as a SEARING HOT PAIN shot through its body! One of its tentacles had been severed! The pain caused it to release its prey as it sought to protect itself. As it writhed in agony the octopus lost all coherent thought and fled.

  Suddenly free Koko knew she had to take the opportunity, “STARGAZER!!! GET US OUT OF HERE!!! FULL POWER TO THE THRUSTERS!!! TO THE AIR!!” Again, the BWEEP, this time DISTINCTLY happy! Stargazer’s rocket thrusters ignited and propelled it upward through the water, moments later it broke the surface and rose into the air. Koko starred in awe at the monitors, in the short time it had drug them, the monster had pulled them more than 20 kilometers!!! Searching the sea, she saw no sign of it. “DAMMIT!” she cursed. “It’s gotten away!” Slamming her fist against the arm of the couch, Koko seethed in anger. After a few moments in which she used her breathing exercises to calm herself, Koko again commanded the robot, “Take us home Stargazer, we’ll have to finish this another day. I am going to have to have a serious discussion with Mr. Wallace.” She saw the UAV approach closely on the monitor, it waggled its wings signaling to them, Koko had the robot give the prearranged signal that yes, her comm system seemed to be not working, and the UAV fell into formation as the two flew home.

  Back at Big Fire’s underwater headquarters Emperor Guillotine was holding an audience in his office. “Ah, Spider you have brought the man I requested?”

  “Yes, Emperor Guillotine! Allow me to present Mizuki Momotaro, this is my finest trooper!” Spider, indicated the man standing just behind him, and Momotaro bowed to his superior, and gave the formal salute “GLORY TO BIG FIRE!!!” He was dressed in generic vaguely military looking green fatigues and some very stylish Ray Ban sunglasses hung from his chest pocket. He looked to be about 21 years old and wore a full, bushy beard and had long hair reaching down most of his back looking for all the world like a Japanese member of ZZ Top. He was only missing a guitar to complete the look.

  Guillotine briefly flipped through a file folder, “I have reviewed your performance records and evaluations. Near perfect scores in almost every category! Your efforts on behalf of Big Fire are highly appreciated!”

  “Thank You Sir!” the young man replied.

  “I have brought you here today because I have a special task for you. I want you to begin compiling information on the operator of the giant robot in order to prepare a plan to neutralize or destroy her!”

  “Of course, Sir! Right away!” Momotaro replied.

  “But before you can begin, I must inform you that you will be working under a new supervisor. Doctor Overkill come in!!!”

  From a side door in the office a tall man appeared, the man was not human, he had clawed hands and a circle of metallic silver skin on top of his bald scalp. He wore a robe that looked like something a Jedi might wear if he were also a pimp, the voluminous garment being bright fluorescent pink with black and white spotted fur around the cuffs of the sleeves, he needed a really gaudy hat though to complete the look. When he spoke, he revealed a pair of fangs and forked tongue, “Greetings Momotaro, I am glad to be working with you, together we shall find this “Koko” person’s secrets, and through them we shall eliminate her, as we will all who oppose Big Fire!!!”

  As one, both Spider and Momotaro gave the formal salute, “GLORY TO BIG FIRE!!!!!”

  Evil laughter roiled from the office, filling the corridor with sickening mirth.