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Chapter 224

  Alejandra walked next to Rafael. The moment they entered the school, Rafael’s gaze bounced around before they landed on Hazel, and it was incredible how quickly he relaxed.

  “Hi,” Rafael said.

  “Hi,” Hazel said, hugging him.

  They kissed, and Alejandra would have left them alone, but she couldn’t. They couldn’t be alone.

  Hazel moved around until she was under Rafael’s arm, her hand around his waist. “How was your weekend?” Hazel asked.

  “Good. Productive. Talked with Walt, and Nick and Evelyn are coming back to CCNC,” Rafael said.

  “Oh, good,” Hazel said.

  “Felt like I had to sell my soul to do it, but it’s done,” Rafael said. “Ah, perfect timing.”

  Alejandra glanced up, her eyes widening as she saw Nick and Evelyn. Every muscle in her body stiffened, and she glanced around for some escape when Rafael grabbed her wrist. “You’ve been avoiding him for too long, Alejandra. Stop running,” he whispered into her ear.

  She knew he was right, but it didn’t stop the guilt from twisting in her gut.

  “Come on, Evelyn. Let’s, uh, go find Derek,” Rafael said.

  Evelyn nodded, taking out her phone. “Let’s check with Mr. Anderson. He’s usually hanging out there.”

  Alejandra wished Rafael felt a little more guilt around Evelyn to keep him here, but Hazel held Rafael’s hand, placing herself between Evelyn and Rafael as they walked down the hall.

  Alejandra glanced up at Nick before forcing herself to look away. He was looking right at her. There was nowhere to hide. She looked down again, closing her eyes.

  “Hey,” Nick said.

  Alejandra shook her head. He was talking to her like she hadn’t completely made a fool of herself.

  “So, Rafael said he told you, but just in case, it… wasn’t me. Well, it was, but… all those choices I made were mine, I suppose.”

  “At the threat of shortening the deadline,” Alejandra said.

  “Yeah,” Nick said. She kept staring at his shoes, because it would take a miracle to look at his face. “But still, I do feel the need to apologize. I… put everyone through hell last month. Trying to break out of it was hard, and I know there were mistakes made, and… I’m sorry.”

  Alejandra couldn’t look at him. The shame kept her eyes downcast. She should have stopped him, but she didn’t. And now he apologized when he didn’t need to, and she had yet to say sorry.

  “Hey, do you need to go to your locker or something? I can walk you there,” Nick said.

  Alejandra covered her face. “I’m sorry. God, I’m so sorry.”

  “Hmm?”

  She had the impression that she spoke too quietly, but she was scared to speak any louder. She didn’t belong. This group would be better without her. It was Hraktar they needed, not her. She was bringing them all down. She couldn’t even apologize well.

  “Sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” Alejandra said.

  “Hey, I know. It’s alright. I forgive you. If you knew what was happening, you wouldn’t-”

  “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” She was stuttering badly, covering her face. She could say that on repeat for the next hundred years, and it wouldn’t be enough. She couldn’t put her thoughts into place, because she was panicking.

  Nick placed a hand around her shoulder, leading her right back out the door. She let him lead her to a more private place of the school. She kept mumbling her apology, unable to think straight. Once they were near the wall, Nick hugged her tightly. She wrapped her arms around him as she kept mumbling her apology.

  “I know,” Nick whispered, his voice taking on that calm, quiet quality that she thought she’d never hear again. “I know, Alejandra. I know.”

  “Sorry I didn’t believe you. I thought you were just as they said. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

  “You’ve been through hell, too.”

  He was saying all these words to her, but none of them were sticking. She didn’t believe them. She had made a mistake. She had been wrong.

  Nick broke away from the hug, cupping his hand under her chin to keep her looking forward, but she didn’t want it. She couldn’t look him in the eye. The shame was too much, and it was already crushing her.

  “Alejandra,” Nick said, brushing his thumb over her cheek. “I heard. Stop apologizing. I forgive you.”

  She shook her head, closing her eyes. “I… don’t deserve it.”

  “I give it all the same,” Nick said. “Please stop running away from me. It’s dangerous out there, and I don’t want you to get hurt.”

  Alejandra covered her face, shaking her head. Nick went back to hugging her as Alejandra cried softly into his chest. Nothing was the same between them. She could feel his hand on her back, the other stroking her hair. She recognized the feelings that it welled up in her, but they were drenched in shame.

  “Go to the dance with me, please?” Nick asked.

  Alejandra clutched her face, sick to her stomach. Nick deserved better. Deserved a girlfriend who stuck by his side. Didn’t shoot him glares in the hall. Believed the best in him. It wasn’t her. It could never be her.

  “I… shouldn’t,” Alejandra asked.

  “Shouldn’t?” Nick asked.

  “I… Nick I…”

  “I don’t care,” Nick said. “Do you?”

  This narrative has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. If you see it on Amazon, please report it.

  “You deserve better,” Alejandra said.

  “You are better,” Nick said.

  Alejandra shook her head. “Please…”

  “Alejandra.” He kept his hands on her back, breaking away enough to see her. “I want to go with you. You’re the only one I’ve wanted to go with. I won’t force you to go, but please consider. Consider me instead of one of Rafael’s friends?”

  How many tears did her body create? She wiped them away, nodding. “Okay.” It was small, but it brought a smile to Nick’s face. A smile she adored, and also twisted the shame inside her.

  “Thank you.”

  The bell rang, and Nick glanced at the building before again at her. “Did you ever make it to your locker?” Alejandra shook her head, holding the strap of her backpack. “Come on, let’s go.”

  “Nick, you’ll be late. Your father-”

  “Again, Alejandra, let me worry about my dad. Come on. I don’t want you alone,” Nick said.

  He might have kept his arm around her, but he didn’t. Perhaps him talking to her managed to keep the world from spinning, but Alejandra was still reeling from her own betrayal. She had hurt Nick. Slapped his face. Used so much energy getting angry at him. And it was pointless.

  They were quiet as she got to her locker, quickly getting the books she needed. She tried to be fast as she walked toward her first class of the day. When Nick reached out to brush a tear away again, Alejandra moved his wrist away and wiped it herself.

  “It’s not your fault,” she said, using the oldest line in the book. “It’s mine. I’m sorry, Nick. I… still believe you deserve better. But… I will go with you to the ball because it’s easier to stick together that way.”

  She didn’t even look at his face to see his reaction. Her stomach was in too many knots to think straight as she sat down at her desk. The late bell rang, and she closed her eyes, panicking. If there was a tardy mark on Nick’s record, if Walt got angry at him because of her…

  It didn’t matter. Nick knew not to hang out with her anymore. He would find someone better.

  ***

  Nick sat at his desk in his bedroom, staring at nothing. It was late, he should get started on homework, but he couldn’t do it. He kept replaying his conversation over and over in his mind. Alejandra was still distraught. Still blamed herself for something that he would never hold over her head. It broke his heart to see her so full of guilt and shame. But how could he possibly help her see that he didn’t believe that of her? It was like she was stuck in a tar pit, and she didn’t even catch the rope he tossed to her.

  Nick rubbed his face, then went over what homework he needed to get done. He opened his textbooks, his mind not in it. All he could see was Alejandra’s guilt-ridden face. Hear her admittance that she wasn’t good enough for him. See the tears she could not stop shedding. The way she could not keep eye contact with him.

  It was frustrating in its own right. He couldn’t understand why she thought he cared so deeply about it.

  “It’s a Walker family trait,” he remembered Evelyn saying, almost offhandedly. “Betray a friend, disappear for years.”

  Nick sighed, shaking his head. He couldn’t let Alejandra do that to him. To herself. She agreed to go to the dance, but he had to help her see that he didn’t care that she slapped him.

  Yeah, he still didn’t know what he said. Maybe he could figure out. The contract was done, after all.

  Nick pushed his textbooks aside and walked out of his room and over to Evelyn’s. He knocked on her door, and a moment later she appeared, shaking out her hands.

  “Hey, Nick. What’s up?” she asked.

  “Hey, so you know how Chaos’s contract just ended?”

  Evelyn’s slight smile dropped. “Yeah.”

  Nick shouldn’t talk about it so lightheartedly, since all his friends were still reeling from it, but honestly, Nick enjoyed the fact that he could talk about it, so he did. “I was wondering if I could finally figure out what I said to Alejandra. Or, rather, what Chaos said to Alejandra using my voice. That day she slapped me.”

  The disappearing smile on Evelyn’s face turned to a frown. “Right. Uh… you told her something about how she doesn’t understand what’s going on because Jack spent most of her childhood beating her and she has brain damage now.”

  Nick’s jaw fell open. He stared at Evelyn, eyes widening. He couldn’t talk, the shock of it rattling him to his core. Evelyn tried to smile, but it was hard.

  “And… she just slapped my face?” Nick asked.

  Evelyn chuckled, but she didn’t feel it. “Yeah. We were all quite shocked. Especially when you confirmed that you said it.”

  Nick still stared at his sister. “Rafael didn’t deck me? You still talked to me after?”

  Evelyn smiled. “It didn’t make sense, no. But… there had to be a reason. And there was.”

  Nick shook his head, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “God, Evie. I don’t know what I would have done if the roles were reversed. How did any of you talk to me after?”

  Evelyn chuckled, blowing on her painted fingers. “Because we all assumed Grizzizzik had something to do with it. It was easier to shift most of the blame onto him.”

  Nick shook his head, dropping his hand. “Alright. Well, I need your advice.”

  His little sister raised an eyebrow. “Do you?”

  “Alejandra’s agreed to go to the winter ball, but she’s…” Nick trailed off, not sure how to word it correctly. “She’s a Walker, who betrayed a friend, and is starting to disappear.”

  Nick was pretty sure Evelyn’s standing with Rafael was good enough that he could make that kind of comment, and the knowing nod Evelyn gave told him he was right.

  “I… don’t want her to disappear,” Nick said.

  “Aww, that’s actually really sweet.” She kept blowing on her fingernails, her brows furrowing in thought. “This is difficult.”

  He flinched. “Is it?”

  “Yeah,” Evelyn said, moving deeper into her room. Nick didn’t know what else to do, so he followed her in. “Because when a Walker betrayed me, the best thing to do was to stay away from him. I didn’t mind it, because I didn’t want to be around him, anyway. But… I think the principle is the same.”

  Nick’s shoulders slumped. “Stay away from Alejandra?”

  Evelyn sat at her desk, dipping the small brush into her fingernail polish and starting her other hand. “What she did brings her a lot of guilt. What she needs is friends who encourage her, build her self-esteem. True, Alejandra didn’t do nearly the crime that Rafael did, but she’s going to feel guilty about it all the same.” Evelyn put the brush back in the bottle before tapping her phone gently to keep her fingernail dry. Nick wasn’t even sure what to do, other than to acknowledge the phone ringing. Who was Evelyn calling.

  “Hello…” Derek started to say.

  “It’s Evelyn. Hi! You’re on speakerphone with me and Nick.”

  “Well, may I extend a lovely good evening to the both of you,” Derek said.

  Evelyn giggled, going back to painting her nails. “We need to set Nick and Alejandra up, so the two of us need to form a team.”

  “God, yes,” Derek said. “Ugh, those two have been dancing around each other for ages!”

  “You are on speaker phone,” Nick said.

  “And you seem surprised, like I’ve never told you that before,” Derek said.

  Nick couldn’t help it and chuckled.

  Evelyn spread her fingers out, examining the paint before doing some touchups. “Now, Alejandra is deep in the pits of personal hell, feeling guilty over what happened. Typical Walker trait. Nick’s asked her to the winter ball, and she agreed, but Nick seems afraid that might be the last time he ever sees her. It’s up to us to stuff that girl so full of self-esteem that she walks into that winter ball ready to look Nick in the eye and not back away.”

  “Mmm, yes! This needs a name. Operation… tale as old as time.”

  Nick rolled his eyes as Evelyn gasped. “Love it!”

  “Also, we’re not thinking in a big enough picture. Winter ball is just a step. Those two need to start dating before Nick turns eighteen.”

  “Right! Everything changes when you’re eighteen,” Evelyn said.

  Nick rubbed the bridge of his nose. He sort of knew what he was getting into when he asked his little sister, but his best friend and little sister teaming up felt like its own sort of chaotic thing. A good kind of chaos, though.

  “Okay, let’s start a game plan. How to get guilt ridden beast to find her self-worth so she feels worthy of the belle of the ball on Saturday.”

  Nick dropped his hand. “I’m sorry, am… I Belle in this situation?”

  “Damn right,” Derek said. “We’ll get our beast to get so full of self-confidence that she will absolutely gobble you up like the delicious snack you are.”

  Nick closed his eyes, shaking his head. They had stumbled upon Derek’s theater kid mode, which reminded them all just how dramatic Derek could actually be. “Alright, well, I have homework, so I will leave you two to it.”

  “Bye Nick!” Derek said.

  Nick shook his head again, starting to head out of the room when he stopped, leaning back. “Oh, right. Evelyn? Can I check something on your laptop?”

  “Yep.” She gestured toward the laptop on the unmade bed.

  “Thanks.” Nick scooped it up and headed out of Evelyn’s room as the two of them started talking.

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