I escaped. Well, maybe I haven’t escaped being tormented, as I can see all sorts of jagged, shadowy figures roaming the space outside the rave. I have breathing room, though. I slumped down near the entrance. Surprisingly, I didn’t notice any security around the doors. Some partygoers staggered out of the rave, but that was pretty much it.
I pressed my eyes to try and do something about the headache I acquired. Then, I people-watched for a while. There was a wide variety of people. Some looked cognizant and animated, chatting with each other and making good use of their time. Some looked focused, scurrying around, having places to go, possibly wasting the experience of the journey getting there. Some were totally out of it, making a horrible display of their actions. Some…some looked wrong. Something was wrong.
I got up. I don’t think many others noticed, or maybe everyone was pretended not to notice, but I believe I saw some were trudging, dragging their feet across the floor. The way they moved clearly didn’t look like a human was in control. I tried not to stare so much, and tried to walk away from trouble.
Even here? I thought security had this place down lock. It seemed safe when I arrived. Now, it’s not so easy to tell. I couldn’t really confirm anything either from such a distance away. Situation assessment…probably not worth running. If they’re not running at me, I’m not running. I took out the map while holding a brisk pace wherever foot traffic seemed at a minimum. There were a few spots where it looked like I could rest. No room key, from what I found while frisking my pockets.
There really weren't a lot of good hiding spots. Staircases had traffic once in a while, including emergency exits. Isolated bridges terrified me, but I checked nonetheless, and even they had pedestrians. I couldn’t even find my way into the backrooms. Every potential opening was locked, and at this point, I couldn’t find J-staff anywhere to help me…or borrow their keys with a bit more force. I was a sitting duck. Well, I was a standing and very much walking duck, but I was trapped, quickly running out of energy.
On the note of running low on energy, I threw up again. Not enough food. Ironic; you would think when you didn’t have enough food in you, you’d have less of a chance to puke. The poison felt like waves receding and overtaking the salty coastline of my nerves. The fire inside of me, which I had not noticed until recent, felt like the only thing keeping it back from liquifying any reason or ability to think I had. So much as that fire kept burning in my mind, I could still think about something. I could keep making decisions. I could keep moving.
There was a point where it was so hard just to keep my eyes open. I more or less waddled, stumbled, and crawled just to escape the forming crowd of zombies. For most people, what I did would be an embarrassment. I could hardly move without being on my knees. I was like a child. But who cares? It was me; it’s where I’m at. I guess it is who I am in this moment. All that mattered was the creeping feeling that I just couldn’t outrun zombies at this point. I braced myself as I felt like my eyes would close for the last time.
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“Hey,” a female voice cut through all of my outer brain fog.
She called to me again. I tried reaching for the voice physically and felt her leg. It was a light, soft material. She grabbed my wrist to help pull me up. I wasn’t ready to be pulled up, so I knelt instead.
“I don’t know about you, but I’ve been getting ready for the show. ‘Might be worth coming along,” She was loud, a little on the higher side but nothing shrill.
It was hard to see her, to be honest. I saw a teal bunny suit which lines accentuated her shape well. It was almost terrifying- alluring, it was like there was more than what my perception could catch onto. She had white gartered stockings that had two fish stitched along the sides of them. I kept holding onto her hand, and noticed she had cufflinks, hiding any potential imperfections in her wrist joints.
“Do you even have an outfit picked out yet? You know, it’s starting soon, too,” She was a really fast speaker. It was easy to keep up with her, but a lot came at me in a short period of time.
All I could do was focus on my breathing. My ears were plugged. It felt disgusting just to breathe. My throat felt burning poison every time I moved my jaw, even a little.
“Are you performing?” I asked with a steady enough tone.
“Last I checked, you…were the one performing,” Something in the way she said it suggested she was giving a soft smirk.
I tried to catch my breath. “Okay, what role am I playing tonight?” I have no idea what to think.
“Oh well, let me think. They’ve covered most of the roles. I think they’re just missing one. Maybe…the tragic hero?” It sounded as if she genuinely wasn’t sure.
I took a minute. It’s easy for anyone to see where this is going. My recon ought to yield one thing at the very least- “Who are you? What’s your name so I can remember you?” I looked up at her, unable still to see her face.
I saw her lips move, though. I couldn’t hear, for the life of me, what she said. Even if I could, I was too worn out to remember what her name was. I will say there are many reasons why I’m not comfortable living with myself, but being unable to pick up her name is an extremely poignant reason.
“I think you’re missing your prop. You might want this,” she held out a knife with a blade made of salt to me. I suddenly realized she held it behind her back the entire time. The light behind her made it difficult to see, though.
I took it. What else could I do? As if my body were anything but a rollercoaster strapped into a choreographed track. I’m not free. There’s nowhere I can go. Even if I tried to run, especially now, what point is there? I didn’t want to be an actor for this stupid play. I think I’m late for my role, anyway. But I took it. I took the knife.
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