Chapter 30

  SIZZLE

  Gillian and Deke went back to exploring the world. They visited Rome, Egypt, and England.

  They walked through Buckingham Palace. Chambers were packed with hundreds or even thousands of other disembodied tourists. “It seems this wasn’t an original idea,’ said Gillian.

  They stood inside the glass case in the London Tower and passed their hands through the crown jewels. “I want so bad to take a selfie right now!” she said.

  They stood at the top of the tallest buildings and the top of the tallest mountains. They walked through driving snowstorms at the center of a Class 5 tornado. Metal panels whipped around them at terrifying speeds. They laughed when they realized that they were ducking and dodging. They stood hands on hips and legs akimbo feeling like superheroes. “This would be a lot cooler, if we could hear the wind,” Deke lamented.

  “Where else can we go that we would never have dared go before?” asked Gillian.

  Deke took her hand.

  SIZZLE

  “Where are we?” asked Gillian.

  “We are in the inner compound of the Sinaloa Drug Cartel,” Deke told her. “ You’ve always wanted to be a detective. Well, here we are.”

  “Where are our badges? Don’t we need badges?” Gillian taunted.

  “Badges? We don’t need no stinkin’ badges,” Deke replied in a terrible Mexican accent. “Maybe, that's what I can do, when I go back. I’ll open the world's most successful detective agency. You think the Shadow was a great detective? You ain’t seen nothin yet”. They soon learned that it was nothing like the romance of a detective novel. The living were selfish, boring, and violent. They spent their days on their computers, or on their phones, or bullying the hired help. The disembodied Deke and Gillian encountered were angry, confused, in pain, or all of the above. They encountered people who had been murdered by the cartel who were trying to find a way to retaliate. Others were family members of people who had been addicted, ruined, and lost their lives, who had endless energy for shouting their hatred and contempt for the cartel. Still others were faithful cartel members endlessly in a war of words and emotions with those who wanted to destroy the cartel. Deke and Gillian fled from the spiritual warzone.

  Gillian said, “Let’s go check on Beta again.”

  SIZZLE

  They found Beta in MCB432, Deke’s laboratory. Beta and a small team of lab assistants were reconstructing the frame of the box. Deke was not surprised to find Alex in the midst of the activity. They greeted Alex happily.

  Deke asked, “What’s going on here, Alex?”

  “Tilly has been remaking the physics department in his own image. The chancellor's office has been giving him everything he wants. He has made the ‘Tilly Effect” a top priority.”

  Deke and Gillian both started, “Tilly effect?”

  “You know, the Box, the Kelton Field. After the explosion, Tilly went wild. He revised all of the lab notes. He put his name as lead on everything.”

  “And Beta is going along with it?” asked Kelton.

  “Tilly has Beta convinced that you were working under his direction. He’s taking advantage of her shaky memory. He offered her job back at a significant raise if she signed a release of liability. Tilly convinced Beta that Tilly was doing Beta a favor. The legal department and the Chancellors office think Tilly is a genius. Beta doesn’t know it, but Tilly needs Beta. Beta is the only one left with experience with the components of the Box. The original was completely destroyed in the explosion.”

  Gillian told Deke. “You have got to stop Tilly.”

  Deke laughed, “I’d like to. I think you're stuck with me for at least another 2 months until your mother visits the Heaven Lake cabin and unplugs the Box. I’ll try then. Until then, I like exploring the universe with you.

  Gillian asked Alex, “How is Beta doing?”

  “Beta still has a lot of headaches, and gets tired easily. She still can’t remember anything about the day of the explosion.”

  “Do you ever see Chaz?”

  “He pokes his head in now and then. Say’s he's really sorry and leaves. That pendejo Jacob is usually right behind him, making fun and teasing him. I’m almost starting to feel sorry for Chaz.”

  “How is Beta getting along with the other assistants?”

  “Beta keeps to Beta. They have been doing better since they started rebuilding the Box. I think Beta likes working with their hands. But they don’t mix much. The team keeps trying to be inclusive. They are having a birthday cake for the tall one in the next few minutes. Usually Beta doesn’t join in. I try to offer encouragement, but you know how it is. I can’t tell if I am getting through.”

  Deke said, “Cake in the lab? Tilly will have a fit!”

  Alex shrugged, “It was Tilly’s idea. I guess he likes cake. I think he’s trying to suck up to the team.”

  As if to illustrate, there were two quick knocks at the door and Tilly came in followed by his secretary who was pushing a gurney that held a chocolate cake adorned with 2 lit sparklers.

  The team cheered. Someone started singing Happy Birthday and others joined in. Beta’s eyes and face went blank as their mouth dropped open.

  Beta gasped, “That smell! That sparkler smell!”

  Gillian said, “Beta’s remembering! The smoke has triggered a memory!”

  Deke stood at Beta’s side, “C’mon, you can do it! Remember!”

  “We’re here with you!” encouraged Alex. “It’s time to remember!

  Beta fell to their knees and collapsed into a fetal position. The singing stopped.

  Deke touched the crown of Beta’s head. “It’s time to remember, my friend.”

  Beta cried out in terror as though reliving the explosion, then lay motionless on the cold tile floor. The team crowded around Beta. A red-haired lab assistant pulled the emergency defibrillator from the wall.

  “Beta’s still breathing,” the tall lab assistant said. “We won’t need that.”

  “Is Beta epileptic?” asked another while taking off her labcoat. She wadded it up and put it under Beta’s head.

  “I don’t know. She’s not wearing a med alert bracelet.”

  “Elevate their legs”

  Little by little Beta’s strength came back. Beta began to roll over.

  The lab team helped Beta to a chair and brought a bottle of water.

  “I’m so sorry!” Beta apologized to the group clustered around. “I think it’s just a little flashback from the explosion. I’m feeling better now.” Someone brought Beta a piece of cake.

  “Beta hates the attention,” chuckled Alex, “but the cake probably won’t hurt.”

  Beta slowly ate the cake as the team's attention shifted gradually back to the party.

  “That first memory download is powerful and painful. I felt like molten… something… knowledge… had been poured into every cell of my body,” Deke said. “It laid me out. It’s crazy luck that we were here when the memories hit Beta.”

  “Yeah, lucky,” Alex shook his head in disbelief. “You still haven’t noticed that there is a higher power at work here?

  Beta got up from the chair and quietly shuffled to the coat hanging on the wall, put the coat on and made short painful steps towards the door. None of the team noticed that Beta had left.

  “What’s Beta doing?” Gillian asked.

  “Beta’s not much of a talker. We would have a hard time figuring out what they’re doing even if we could talk together. We just gotta watch to find out,” said Alex.

  The three watched as Beta got in their car. It looked like a brand-new top-of-the-line model Toyota. Beta sat for a few minutes breathing deeply.

  “Whoa, that’s a nice car, Beta,” Alex said. “That must have been some settlement from the university! ”

  You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.

  Deke said, “Beta, you are in no shape to drive right now. Believe me, I know. Give it a few hours at least.”

  “Hey, Siri,” Beta said weakly.

  A voice from the display on the dashboard answered, “Um hmm?”

  “Navigate to 17 Avalon Road, Heaven Lake.”

  Alex said, “Deke, that’s the address you gave her just after the explosion. What’s there?”

  Deke said, “I am, err… my body..in the Box.” He thought a few minutes. “ I was in such a hurry to get back in my body a few months ago. Now, I’m not sure I want to go back.” He looked at Gillian. “I don’t want to give this up. We’ve only scratched the surface.”

  Gillian said, “Not yet! You have to straighten things out with Tilly first, with the university. You need to get credit for your work, for your insights and discovery. Your name should be in the journals. Not Tilly’s.”

  Kelton flashed with an indignant anger at the thought. “Tilly needs a serious tune-up,” he agreed.

  Gillian continued, “But not just that. Think of our families. I need you to take care of my mother for me; she is all alone now.”

  Deke said, “It’s hard to think of you as dead. It just doesn’t fit. I know Maji is going to be sad, but… she doesn’t need to be! You are right here with me.”

  “I always will be. Do you think you can make my mother understand?”

  Alex jumped into the conversation. “You can make her understand that you’re out of your skull. Believe me, I know. I tried and tried to get you guys to even consider believing in Jesus. I never even got to first base. You all smiled and patted me on the head. You’re still patting me on the head. Even though you have firsthand experience of an afterlife. What proof will you give her?”

  “I guess all she will have is my word for it.” admitted Deke.

  “And the comfort from the Holy Spirit,” Alex said solemnly.

  Deke and Gillian looked at each other skeptically.

  “Oh, man! I actually heard both of your eyes roll that time. Be careful, you might hurt your ocular muscles!” Alex laughed. “You’re getting there. You both want to know the truth. The truth will find you! Maybe then you will be able to see what I am seeing. Hear what I am hearing. It’s incredible! I can’t wait for you to see it too! There is a light that you can’t see yet that shines in the darkness.”

  Gillian said, “I really want to see it. Alex, how can we see it?”

  Alex said, “I just got here myself. There must be people better equipped to tell you than me.”

  Gillian said, “How about Zenek? Can we go talk to him?”

  Alex said, “You go talk to him. I’m going to stay here with Beta. Beta’s still kinda weak and not driving well. If she runs off the road and dies, I want to be right there when she crosses over.”

  Deke laughed. “You are one lovesick puppy. A few months ago, that would have been a really creepy thing to say”

  “Has it got to stalking yet? You’ll let me know if I get creepy, right?” Alex said.

  “How would I know? I just got here too.”

  “Deke,” Jilian interrupted. “ I want answers to the big questions.”

  “Which are…?”

  “Well, I was so sure death was the end. I was so surprised to see you standing over my body. I was wrong about life after death, and I was wrong at the top of my lungs. What else am I wrong about? What is right? What is the truth? I want to answer the big questions; Is there a God? What even am I doing here?”

  Alex cheered, “You go, Mrs. Kelton! Those are the questions!”

  “We have about 2 hours before Beta can let me out of the Box. Zenek’s been helpful. Maybe we should go talk to him” Deke looked at Alex. “Are you sure you don’t want to join us?”

  Alex held up his hand and pointed to his “WWJD” wristband. “I’ve got my answers already. I’ll stick here with Beta. Beta’s still looking a little shaky.”

  SIZZLE

  Gillian and Deke found Zenek and Alice seated on the edge of the Trevi fountains. They were deep in conversation with three other people.

  Alice looked up. “Zenek, look who is here! Come join us!” she extended her hands to Deke and Gillian. We were just finishing a session with this group, we are so happy to see you!”

  Deke and Gillian sat with the group.

  “We didn’t believe in an afterlife. Apparently, there is one.” Deke said gesturing all around, “We don’t believe in God. Are we wrong about that, too?

  Zenek asked, “What have you seen that led you to conclude that there is no God?”

  Gillian reminded them about the explosion. “It is so hard to reconcile the idea of any God allowing an explosion like the one we were in. Tragedies and outrages like that must be occurring every minute around the world.”

  Alice nodded solemnly. “That is a big one to get over.”

  “Let’s try another path,” suggested Zenek. “How do you think life came about? What does science teach you?”

  “Happy accident? Chemicals and processes that had an affinity for each other came together. It’s all rather unlikely, but in an infinite Universe, it was bound to happen. ”

  “Anything that can happen, will happen?” asked Zenek.

  “So goes the argument.”

  “In an infinite Universe, why couldn’t God happen?”

  “Are you saying God evolved from a chance amino acid? Or a single cell?” asked Gillian.

  Alice jumped in, “We just want you to open your minds to the possibility that there is a God. We want to plant a small seed. Is it a good seed? If so, it will grow.“

  Gillian said. “Why should that argument make sense today? Why is today different?”

  Zenek smiled, “I thought asking questions was my job! Deke, why do you think today is different for Gillian?”

  Deke said, “It’s pretty easy to get our attention when we get hit with a two-by-four. Even a metaphorical two-by-four.”

  Zenek and Alice both laughed.

  Gillian added, ”I love the thought of creative intelligence. I do want to believe.”

  Alice nodded, “Desire is powerful. Give that desire a little room to grow.”

  “If there is a God, why so much suffering. It doesn’t fit with my experience.”

  “May I share my memories with you?” said Zenek.

  The gray-scale world to which Gillian and Deke had become accustomed was suddenly full color. Lush green foliage surrounded them. They were awestruck with the sudden appearance of color. They knew it was the King’s courtyard.

  “Here is the King” said Zenek. A portly man dressed in flowing colorful robes appeared in the courtyard. He strode to an obese young man with long black hair slouching on a chair in the courtyard. The young man was attended by four very obsequious people. “My King was expecting Estinalor to be prepared to rule the city, and the King was greatly disappointed. The boy never had to think for himself, never had to answer a question, never struggled with anything. He wasn’t prepared to inherit the city. What growth has the boy ever experienced?”

  Deke laughed, “His waistline.”

  “Deke!” Gillian hissed.

  Zenek continued. “I didn’t prepare the boy to inherit. He didn’t prepare himself, he was replaced with someone who was prepared.”

  The colors faded. Deke and Gillian saw everything in grayscale once again.

  Alice said, “Growth and development don’t come without pain, struggle and effort. Think of your experiences. When did you learn the most?”

  Deke said, “When I struggled the most, when I pushed myself the hardest. Are you saying growth and pain are inseparable?” he asked.

  “Growing pains can be real pain or just mental stress,” said Alice, “but there is a reason we call them growing pains. Change is hard! Zenek’s king wanted the best for his children. He wanted them to inherit all that he had. He wanted them to enjoy the power, prestige, glory, honor and blessings that were due to the children of a king, but coddling those kids resulted in the opposite of what he wanted.”

  Zenek said, “So Gillian, if there is a God, and I promise you there is, and if he loves you, and I promise you that he does, what does this tell you about your relationship to Him.”

  Deke and Gillian paused for a long moment. Deke broke the silence. ”I was raised by parents who took me to church on Easter and Christmas. As a boy, I imagined God as an angry overseer who was eager to punish me for just being me. Around 14 I began to realize how ridiculous the entire idea of such a God was. People who did bad things weren’t punished. Instead, they thrived. I didn’t want to do bad things, and I didn’t want to mix with that kind of people, so I guess I gradually evolved into an atheist and humanist. I don’t want to offend you, Zenek and Alice, but I still don’t see it. Maybe I am just being stubborn. I have to say though, I had never considered the idea of a God who uses pain and suffering as a tool to teach and prepare his creations to inherit. It’s an abhorrent idea I am unwilling to consider.”

  Gillian said, “Deke, I’m seeing it. The hardest times in my life have been the times when I have learned the most important lessons. I got blown up. That sounds a lot worse than it was. Three months ago, I would have said that was a terrible thing. How could God let it happen? Why did he let Chaz build the bomb? Why does he let anybody build bombs? I have a new view of the situation. It wasn’t the end; it may have been a new beginning. If there is a God, I want to know. I want to know Zenek and Alice’s God He sounds like a God worth knowing. What do I need to do now?”

  Alice said, “Honey, you have made a spot for the seed. Let it grow.”

  Deke said, “Rani, I don’t know. I’m doubting my doubts, but I need more time.”

  Zenek asked, “You already have the answers, you just need to dig them out, and I believe that there is some time for you to find the answers in yourself, but there is one more thing I want you to consider; Should you feel some urgency about this?”

  “Don’t I have eternity to work this out?” Deke asked, “But I need to ask another question. I think my time here is short. Beta is probably getting close to the cabin to let me out of the box. Why do you and Alex see colors and hear music and we don’t?”

  Zenek said, “Hmmm. How is Alex’s experience different from yours? What did he tell you?

  Deke said, “He said I have to believe it to see it.”

  “What do you think he meant by that?”

  Alice scolded, “Oh, for heaven's sake, Zenek. Can’t you ever just answer a question?”

  Alice turned to Gillian and Deke, “It’s way too easy to limit ourselves with our beliefs. Have you ever heard whether you believe you can or if you believe you can’t, you’re right! What you believe makes a big difference. I believe that God is the light that shines in darkness and darkness can’t see that light. Alex was partially right; you need to believe to see, but if you believe you will see unicorns, you are in for disappointment. You are on the path. Keep exploring. Little by little, that light you can see will reveal not just the most wonderful colors but the wonders of the Universe. You will hear the music. The process is wonderful, but not just wonderful. I think you will find it’s crucial.”

  Deke said, “OK. I want the universe. I want to keep exploring. But Zenek, you took me to space, to the satellite, why couldn’t I visit the moon?”

  Zenek asked, “Why do you want to go to the moon?”

  “Not just the moon, I want to explore the universe, I want to find other life on other planets.”

  “And when you find other planets, just like ours, with people just like us, what will you have learned about the universe?”

  “That there is either an intelligent creator, or the universe was seeded by an alien race.”

  “Who created this alien race?” Zenek laughed. “I got you there! I think you would have proof that God exists, you would have evidence! Why would God want you to have evidence? What have you seen that makes you think that God wants to give anyone irrefutable proof that God exists? ”

  “I can’t think of a thing”.

  “Exactly” said Zenek. “I think God won’t provide that kind of proof, because the learning process is important. You have free will regardless of what Spinoza tried to tell you.”

  “You know Spinoza?”

  “Yes, he was even more surprised to be here than you were. Between you and me, I think Baruch is still in denial. But back to the subject If you have proof forced on you, it is a form of coercion. You can’t be forced. It can’t be done for you. It didn’t work for Estin and it won’t work for you. The desire to be prepared needs to come from within you.”

  Gillian said, “I think Zenek is trying to get you to realize that if God wanted to remove all doubt, he could easily manage it. For some reason, the process of belief must be important.

  Alice said “Faith can become perfect knowledge, but the process of how you get there is important. God doesn’t want to force belief on anyone. Forced obedience doesn’t produce the necessary result. And nobody can want it for you. You have heard the saying, ‘A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still’.

  Deke said, “I get it, I gotta wanna.”

  “Nice summary!” said Zenek. “It’s the difference between being and doing.”

  Deke was frustrated. “So, if I believe in God, THEN I can explore the universe? That still feels like coercion to me.”

  Alice replied, “It is just a promise of things to come. ‘Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither has entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.’ I think of it as being enticed upward, but if you just…”