Pilot: Cupid’s Boredom

  I survey the mortals below, eyeing them carefully, and then I spot a potential target, a struggling couple on the verge of heartbreak. I quickly send my spies to observe them more closely.

  I then get a report from my servants. He tells me that the man in that relationship was struggling with infidelity. How troubling! I then hold out my hand and create a heart of renewal. I then send it down below to the couple. Upon getting close to the couple, the heart bursts into a swirling aura, and soon that couple will kiss and make up.

  With that done, I stretch and leave my balcony and go back into my office.

  My name is Cupid. Yes, that Cupid, the god of Love, but before you ask, no, Aphrodite is not my mother; if anything, she’s my niece. I’ve been around since before the creation of the world.

  And as a fun fact, I can take Zeus’s dick and jump rope with it; I’m that powerful.

  I soon turn to my servant. He’s dressed in a pastel orange suit and tie with a white undershirt on; his pants are striped with a cream, yellow, and white color pattern. He closely resembles a butler. He has short platinum blond hair that shimmers in the light, and covering his face is a rabbit mask. He soon bows to me and says,

  Servant: Will that be all, Master?

  Cupid: For the moment, but get started on dinner for my husband and son right away; they should be back from their trip any moment now.

  Servant: Yes, Lord Cupid.

  My servant soon leaves, and I walk through the halls of my palace, making my way to the second-floor lounge. In here I lay in one of the several lounge chairs. I then use my powers to bring a cup of ambrosia to me, and I take a sip.

  As I drink my ambrosia, I start thinking I am incredibly bored up here in the clouds. My husband and son, though loving, like to spend two months on Earth every year; this is mainly due to them being half human, and even they hate this infernal place.

  I so desperately want to join them, but the last time I neglected my duties, several wars happened due to the absence of love, and Aphrodite is too stupid and petty to handle the work alone.

  I just want some excitement, honestly, and I don’t know where to get it from. Soon I hear the chime of a bell. This is my Bell. I get off my lounge chair and walk to the bell tower. Upon arriving, I see a prayer from the world below. It is from a man named Romeo. He wants to find love after a string of fifty failed relationships. I pull up my terminal and see that this human has been put through the ringer romantically.

  I slowly begin to wonder how a human as good-looking as him can have 50 failed relationships in just one year. Either way, he is hot physically, though not striking. He’s the right amount of muscle mixed with the perfect amount of slimness, and you know what? This may be the perfect amount of excitement I need in my immortal life.

  Before you start condemning me, please know this: Zeus constantly cheated on his wife and only felt bad about it once, and frankly, if I wanted to, I could cut his dick off and call it a day, but he does serve a purpose; he keeps his entire pantheon in working order.

  I call my servant and tell him I'm stepping out, and I tell him to let me know when my husband and son arrive. The servant bows, and I head down below to the mortal world, disguising myself as one of them.

  I soon show up at Romeo’s workplace, a coffee shop, and I see him managing the counter.

  Walking up to the counter, I pretend like I don’t know what I’m doing, and he finds it all charming. We soon arrange for a date after he gets off work.

  I end up waiting for him to get off work and order the same shitty coffee every time. Apparently, this place is supposed to be really expensive, so me being considered a big spender is another reason why Romeo should keep me in his pocket, or so his boss says.

  Either way, Romeo and I soon go out on a date, and he asks me for my name. I tell him my name is Eros, and luckily my original name has almost lost all meaning.

  This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

  Romeo tells me that he has had many relationships, so he’s honestly expecting this one to go up in flames. I put on my best smile and tell him that won’t happen with me.

  We soon start getting to know each other, and during the conversation, I get a feeling—a dark, foreboding feeling about Romeo that I can’t quite describe—and I’m greatly attracted to it.

  As we walk back to Romeo’s place, he kisses me on the cheek, and as his lips touch my skin, I get a strong chill that runs up my spine. He soon looks at me licking his lips and politely orders me to meet him again, and I nod my head obediently.

  He soon walks inside his home, and I leave, moving to a private location. I warp back up to my palace and soon begin to swoon and dance happily as I enter my bathroom. I jump when I see my brother Tartarus.

  He stares at me emotionless, his black cloak covering his entire body; his gray, stone-like skin is striking, and his ink-black hair is as straight and sleek as ever.

  Tartarus: Where were you?

  Cupid: I was out.

  Tartarus: Out where?

  Cupid: None of your business, Tartarus!

  Tartarus: Stay away from that human.

  Cupid: You're not the boss of me, Tartarus!

  Tartarus would sigh and say:

  Tartarus: Little Brother, as the embodiment of the world of death, I have seen the darkness within the human soul. I have seen every form the darkness takes, and I know where it thrives. That human is going to hurt you.

  Cupid: Shut up, Tartarus, and get out of my palace.

  Tartarus: Cupid, you and our siblings are on a higher plane than the petty gods below. Do you really want to act like the giant ass that is responsible for so much petty drama to the point where he’s become a running joke for us?

  Cupid: I am nothing like that lightning-throwing man-child, and it’s just for a little fun. What harm could it do?

  Tartarus: What would Psyche and Hedone say about this?

  I was shocked; I turned my head to the floor. I loved my family more than anything, and I didn’t want to hurt them. Tartarus soon placed his hand on my shoulder and told me to think about it before walking back to his own palace.

  I then took a long bath, and then I got dressed in my cozy clothes, a cropped tank top and a pair of gray sweatpants with a heart pattern decorating them. I let my pastel pink hair with black highlights hang loose and rested in the living room. I was about to doze off, but then I felt something jump onto my lap, catching me off guard. I then realized it was Hedone.

  I snickered and hugged my son close. Hedone was a small little boy around 500 years old (that translates to about four years old in god years).

  He was a small little godling with brown and orange hair that shined like the sun. He was dressed in a neon white shirt with green overalls on him. He was also wearing the cutest sandals.

  He looked up at me with bright pink eyes and said

  Hedone: Hi Daddy, I missed you a bunch.

  Cupid: I missed you too, you needy little star.

  Psyche: We had a lot of fun down on Earth. They’ve created a lot of stuff for recreation.

  I then looked up and saw my darling Psyche. He was dressed in a lavender and silver dress shirt with navy blue bell-bottom pants and unique flat shoes on his feet.

  He came over and sat next to me. Hedone then crawled, lying on both our laps.

  I then kissed Psyche, and we shared a passionate moment that is until Hedone pushed the two of us apart.

  Hedone: I want kisses from two Daddies!!!

  Psyche and I soon began to laugh as we held Hedone in between us and gave him kisses on his cheeks. Soon, one of my servants came in and told us that dinner was ready.

  I then held Hedone on my shoulders, giving him a ride to the dining room. We then sat at the table and began to eat a perfectly made dinner.

  Afterwards, Psyche and I got Hedone ready for bed, and like every night, it’s a struggle because Hedone hates bedtime, but still we managed to get him bathed and into his jammies and cozy in bed.

  Hedone: I want two stories!!!!

  Cupid: I don’t know about two stories, little star; we may be able to do one long story, though.

  Hedone would begin to fuss, kicking his feet out and folding his arms, pouting.

  Psyche: I’ll make you pancakes in the morning if you go to bed now, hun.

  Hedone: with strawberries and whipped cream

  Psyche: Of course, but you need to go to bed.

  Hedone: okay

  I soon sat at the foot of the bed and opened the book and began to read to my son. Psyche was on the other side of the bed, gently playing with Hedone’s hair.

  Soon Hedone would be asleep, cuddling the rabbit plush I had made for him. Psyche and I then silently left the room and went outside, where we proceeded to make out with each other. We then walked to our shared bedroom, and what happens next should not be witnessed by onlookers.

  Our love is intimate, our love is strong, and it is truly never-ending.

  When we had settled down, I cuddled my husband close, and we began talking.

  Cupid: Welcome home, hun.

  Psyche: Thank you.

  Cupid: Psyche I have something to tell you.

  Psyche: What is it?

  Psyche would then turn to me, a concerned look on his face.

  Cupid: Hun, I’m not proud of this, but I went on a date with a human today, and I love him, and I want to spend more time with him.

  Psyche blankly stared at me before kissing me and then pulling away, saying

  Psyche: There is no need for you to feel guilty. Cupid morals are for humans; we are gods; morality doesn’t apply to us.

  Cupid: So you're fine with it?

  Psyche: Yes, growing up, I heard stories of the poor women who were either cursed or harassed by Hera. I lived in fear that Zeus would come for me next, but you came for me, and I knew I had nothing to fear, so have fun with your mortal fling; it’s fine with me.

  I would soon smile, and I and Psyche would share one final kiss before sleeping in each other’s arms.

  End of Pilot