None of us said a word as we left the temple. In fact, none of us spoke until we were on the train which was fortunately empty. It was Zia who broke the silence after a few stops.

  “What the fuck is going on. Who is that guy, really?”

  “That is Kodos. He was once my intelligence analyst. Now he’s our friendly neighbourhood demigod.”

  “If what he is saying is true he has his eye on more than just the neighbourhood,” Zia pointed out.

  “Okay, his neighbourhood is the entirety of human-controlled space.”

  “And you are okay with him just taking over?”

  “Well, put it this way, how much worse could he be than the Corporations?”

  “Do you really trust him to do the right thing and keep doing it? Forever?” Zia asked. I shrugged and turned to Vanessa.

  “You have been very quiet. I take it you’ve been conspiring with Kodos while I was frozen.”

  “Yes dear, of course I have. For ten years. You do remember what they did on Centuari.”

  “I take it Centauri Dawn is not going to have the happy ending everyone expects. No doubt there are a load of rebel cells ready to cause chaos the minute the credits roll.” Vanessa gave me a tight smile.

  “There better be,” she said, then took a deep breath and composed herself as the train pulled into a crowded station, crammed with Centauri Dawn cosplayers. “Well, here we are, let’s go and see if our doppelgangers recognise us.”

  Zia gave us a worried look before opening the slashes on her shipsuit and led us through the crowds and into a massive flat grassed area bordering one of the lakes already crowded with people. A vast screen hung over the lake silently playing old news footage of the events shown in the series. Opposite the screen was a large stage where a band was playing. Although it was extremely discrete, security was tight, my wrist com humming continuously as it picked up surveillance feeds.

  On the other side of the stage, floating in the lake and looming over everything was the gloriously ugly, mad experiment that was my former flagship Pi=3 and floating next to it, completely overshadowed, was the much smaller, rather more aesthetically pleasing shape of Sky Stealer. It was the ship I’d threaded the needle in. Currently, it was looking a bit sorry for itself. I nudged Vanessa and nodded to the vessel.

  “Where did you leave Sky Stealer? It looks like it’s been sitting in a swamp for a century.”

  “That’s probably because it’s been hidden in a swap for a century. I thought it was still there, I have no idea who found it or how it got here.”

  “I hope that’s not the ship Kodos has in mind for us, I have sort of promised a couple of useful people a lift off this rock and the accommodation on that is a bit limited.”

  Vanessa leaned over to me and murmured in my ear “You and I have unfinished business from last night. We definitely need something bigger. Something with a big bed and soundproofed accommodation.” We both looked up at Pi=3

  “I do hope they’ve improved the crew quarters,” Vanessa murmured.

  “Never mind that. How did they even get it in here, and more to the point, how easy would it be to get it out,” I replied, glancing up at the fake sky and wondering how much trouble I’d be in if I made a hole in it.

  “Guys, focus, please. Just for an hour. Once Centauri Dawn starts you can find a quiet spot and bang each other’s brains out,” Zia pleaded. Vanessa and I looked at each other, there was no way either of us were going to miss the finale.

  “We’ll behave. On one condition,” Vanessa said.

  “What’s that?” Zia asked.

  “No waking us up or entering our bedroom without our permission. Ever.” Zia sighed.

  “Fine. Unless it’s an emergency.”

  “A proper emergency,” I said.

  “Okay, okay. Now come on.” Zia led us around the back of the stage to a discreetly segregated area where the cream, or at least whatever had risen to the top of Kacke society mingled. The main loading bay of Pi=3 hung open lopsidedly like a boxer with a broken jaw and people were going in and out. I noticed Gary’s red-cloaked, skull-adorned, lanky form and wondered how he’d managed to wangle an invitation.

  The entrance to the VIP area was guarded by a couple of alert looking JDF guards who saluted me. I saluted back and they waved us in. We were immediately pounced upon by an immaculate, if tired looking Captain Dany who grinned mischievously at us.

  “I am so looking forward to this, come with me,” they said. We followed him deeper into the VIP area, to where a group of people were gathered around the stars. Uwu Paws was holding court, she sparkled in the fake sunlight, seemingly completely at ease in the crowd of total strangers. Next to her stood Troy Trantor, watching his co-star’s antics with a small smile as he unconsciously scanned the crowd for threats. It looked like Mr Trantor had had an interesting career before becoming an actor. As we approached Uwu noticed Vanessa and flashed a glittering smile our way.

  “A sister Neko, and I thought I was the only one on this planet. I love your outfit, you look like you’ve stepped out of one of the old photos,” Uwu said to Vanessa in a sexy purr that just had to be put on, bringing us into her inner circle before Captain Dany could introduce us.

  “I’m pretty sure it’s just the two of us here. I love your dress too,” Vanessa replied as Captain Dany disappeared into the crowd, a smile on their face.

  “What, this old thing, I just threw it on this morning,” Uwu laughed, gesturing to the shimmering piece of fabric that didn’t look like she’d checked it was all the way on before heading out. The crowd dutifully laughed as a woman, probably a PA came up and murmured into Uwu’s ear

  “I think I’m in lust,” Zia breathed next to me, but obviously not quietly enough as Uwu looked directly at us. I grinned and pointed to Zia. Uwu smiled and licked her lips as she listened to what the woman was saying.

  “Uwu or Troy?” Vanessa murmured with a slight smile.

  “Umm, both?” Zia replied. The woman finished talking and Uwu brightened.

  “It’s fancy dress time, who wants to show off their costume on stage?” she called.

  “Go on, I dare you,” I said and nudged Vanessa, making her take an involuntary step forward. Uwu, not seeing any other volunteers, grabbed Vanessa’s hand.

  “We have a contender. Anyone else? How about you, Admiral, that is an amazing costume it would be a shame not to show it off?” she called to Gary who inclined his head and made his way over to us.

  This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

  “It would be a pleasure ma’am,” Gary said.

  “Wow, you’re a man. And you’re so tall.” Uwu purred, “is there anyone else? No? Well, let’s get this show started” Uwu glanced briefly at Zia, then pulled an unprotesting Vanessa with her to the back of the stage followed by Troy and Gary. I followed behind with Zia following me. A guard let the others through but eyed my uniform with misgivings, obviously ordered not to let anyone else through.

  “I’m pulling rank,” I told the guard with my most charming smile.

  “Let them through Corporal, they both have permission to access all areas,” Captain Dany said from behind me. The guard nodded and stood back, his relief palpable. I entered the wings of the stage where the band were reaching the end of their song. Troy glanced at Zia and held up his hand to stop us.

  “Who are you?” he asked, looking Zia up and down and failing to find any concealed weapons.

  “Oh, this is Doctor Lieutenant Zia of the JDF, she thought what she’s wearing would be more appropriate for this occasion than her uniform,” I said.

  “Hi,” squeaked Zia, her face going an interesting shade of red.

  “She’s a big fan of you and Uwu,” I couldn’t resist adding.

  “And you are?” Troy asked, fixing me with a steely glaze, obviously not classing Zia as a threat. With a shock, I realised he was shorter than me. If I hadn’t recognised him from Centauri Dawn I would have guessed he was some flavour of spec ops operative.

  “Uwu’s taken my wife, I thought I’d pull rank to make sure she doesn’t escape,” I explained, deciding my identity was probably best not revealed, nodding to Vanessa who Uwu had released and they were now talking quietly together, Vanessa half turned, saw me and relaxed slightly. Troy relaxed slightly and smiled.

  “Don’t worry, Uwu will charm her, she charms everyone which makes my life easy, all I have to do is smile and wave.”

  “While keeping an eye out for potential threats I notice. Where did you learn that?”

  “Oh, I was a marine, I did a couple of tours on Dusker before transferring into FS Naval Strategy, then, well, you probably know the rest, I got into amateur dramatics, my CO pushed me into auditioning for Centauri Dawn… then suddenly I’m the most famous man in the Galaxy,” Troy shrugged deprecatingly.

  “I thought you looked like you knew what you were doing in those battle scenes,” I commented. Troy gave me a genuine smile.

  “Thank you, I had a few fights with the director to get the bridge scenes right. I didn't study the Hawk’s battles for two years then spend three years on blockade duty to let cinematics get in the way of accuracy…” he paused as Uwu turned to us, flashed Zia a knowing smile then put a hand on Troy’s arm.

  “Come on Troy, I’m sure Zia and the Captain won’t run off. You three can geek out over Pi is Three together after we judge this contest, they’re taking it very seriously.”

  “Duty calls, I’m afraid, and Uwu, you know very well it’s Pi Equals Three,” Troy said, his tone of voice more amused than annoyed as Uwu dragged him onto the stage. The lead singer of the band introduced the two stars and the roar of the crowd hit us as their idols appeared.

  “She knows my name,” Zia squeaked. I nodded.

  “I wonder if she knows who Vanessa is yet,” I murmured. Zia came down from whatever lust-filled, celebrity-inhabited cloud she’d been in.

  “I have to get a picture of the four of you together before they find out.”

  Uwu and Troy greeted the crowd, they made a good double act, Troy making a great straight man to Uwu’s outrageousness. The fancy dress competition was held and it was taken as seriously as it was possible to take a fancy dress competition. Uwu charmed her way through the contestants, getting the best out of them while giving a masterclass in crowd control, but in the end, the results were down to the cheers of the crowd, or boos in the case of the Admiral Bridgets.

  Gary won his class, doing a surprisingly accurate impression of the real Admiral Bridget but Vanessa came second to someone who’d put a lot of time and effort into studying film, Vanessa. They’d also worn the trademark shredded white shipsuit which was probably what got them the extra few decibels from the crowd. They went on to win the overall competition, only then removing their fake boobs to reveal they were male.

  The crowd cheered wildly. Uwu pouted in fake offense as a grinning Troy shrugged, squeezed both the fake boobs, gave the crowd a thumbs up, kissed the man on both cheeks and made to leave the stage with him before Uwu pulled him back to much laughter. They introduced the next band who, judging by the cheers, were quite famous and reminded the crowd they had half an hour before the final episode.

  The celebrities left the stage, Uwu teasing Troy about what would have happened if she hadn’t pulled him back but gave Zia a wink as she passed. They were followed by Gary and an extremely irritated Vanessa.

  “You’re never going to let me forget this, are you,” she hissed at me.

  “No. Never. But you’re still my favourite Vanessa Von Dack,” I said.

  “I better be. Do I know you?” Vanessa asked, turning on a trophy-wielding Gary who’d followed us.

  “Oh, I don’t think you two have ever met, this is Gary, he’s an old umm… business associate of mine. He’s been helping me with the maps,”

  “Please to meet you at last Captain Von Dack, I have followed your exploits for many years,” Gary said, inclining his head to Vanessa.

  “Pleased to meet you… Gary,” Vanessa said, glancing at me.

  “How did you blag your way into the VIP area?” I asked. Gary drew himself up to his full height

  “I am the official Zarathian ambassador to Jeckon. My wife and I are expected to attend occasions such as this.”

  “Where is Molly?” Zia asked, looking around as Vanessa mouthed ‘what the fuck’ at me. I pretended to ignore her.

  “She is probably raiding the buffet. That’s what she customarily does. Ah, greetings Captain Dany. May I congratulate you on the well organised event,” Gary said as the Captain appeared accompanied by a well-built man in a dark green military uniform I didn’t recognise but it looked like the man was a general of some sort.

  “Why, thank you, Gary, you’re too kind,” Gary nodded.

  “See, I’m an ambassador. I’m doing diplomatic small talk,” he said to me then turned to the well built man in the dark green uniform, “Good morning General Peaks, how is Jeckon Intelligence on this fine day?”

  The General looked up at Gary in stunned amazement for a second then, as if someone had told him who was behind the mask, he laughed and slapped the Zarathian on his back.

  “Nice costume Gary. I didn’t recognise you there.”

  “I haven’t been booed so much since I was a prisoner of war,” Gary replied. The General laughed again, as Captain Dany motioned to me.

  “And this is… well, you know,” Captain Dany said, the General held out his hand for me to shake it. I shook it.

  “A pleasure to finally meet you, Captain. And thank you for your work on our little joint operation,” the General said, then nodded in the direction of the two celebrities who were eyeing our little group, “I take it you haven’t told them yet.”

  “I haven’t. Have you, dear?” I asked Vanessa. She smiled and shook her head.

  “Not yet, but I think Uwu has her suspicions.”

  “Excellent. And It’s good to see so well after your recent tribulations, ma’am, now I better go and introduce myself before they get any more suspicious. There is a betting pool on how long it will be before one of them realises,” the General stomped off and introduced himself to the two actors who both seemed to know who the spymaster was. Captain Dany turned to Zia.

  “A little bird tells me you’re leaving the intelligence services to join the JDF.”

  “I am? Oh, well, yes I suppose I am. Bran asked if I wanted to join his crew. But that was only an hour or so ago.”

  “Well, the paperwork is being sorted as we speak. You should be officially transferred and assigned to the crew by the time the episode ends. I don’t suppose you have anyone else you wish to add to the ship’s roster, do you, Captain?”

  “Wel,l Vanessa of course, oh and Gary and Molly.”

  “We’ll class them all as civilian contractors because I’m pretty certain one or all of them will bugger off at some point and we don’t want to be bothered with discharge papers or AWOL charges. As for the rest of your crew, we are recruiting…” I nodded wondering why, with my track record, they weren’t expecting me to disappear as well.

  “That sounds like you’re not just going to lock us all up in Skythief and send us on our way,” I said looking up at Pi=3.

  “Skythief is still registered as a Centauri vessel under your wife’s name. And stop looking at my new command with your covetous eyes.”

  “They gave you Pi? I don’t know whether to congratulate or commiserate with you," I said. Captain Dany laughed.

  “Every ship has their funny little ways, but damn, that is one weird vessel, even after the latest refit. Mind you, we’ve just finished restoring the original weapons systems and damn, she packs a punch. Diplomatic liaisons don’t normally get ships that can take on full-blown battleships.”

  “Yeah, there’s a reason I kept her for so long. So if I’m not getting Pi, what am I getting?”

  “We’re just finishing up refitting a D-Wing for you,” I nodded in approval.

  “I am rather partial to a decently specced D-Wing, what’s she called?”

  “Persistence Hunter.”

  Mmmm Pi...

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