Merry Christmas! Joyous holidays! It’s that time of year again, isn’t it? The time when everyone comes together to celebrate the passing of another year; when everyone gifts each other tokens of appreciation, also called gifts-

  OH NO!

  I… may have forgotten to get gifts for my players. That’s fine, I have one more day until Christmas! I need to figure out the perfect gift for my players because they are such an entertaining asset to the campaign. I’m very grateful for them.

  But what will be the perfect gift for them? Lenny’s digging inside a trash can in some random alleyway down South Street, so let’s not disturb him for now… Durand’s in the restroom, if I get him now it’ll be super awkward… Cenvin! Get over here!

  *muffled screaming*

  Oh, sorry, I forgot I’m in space, should’ve remembered. I’ll put an air bubble around your head! Is that better?

  “What the flip am I doing here? I was having a damn good dream-”

  Quiet! Quick, what do you want for Christmas?

  “Well, um, I usually ask for money, but-”

  Ok! Thank you for your valuable input! Bye!

  “I’m not finished ye-”

  Hmm, money, eh? I can give my players heaps of gold, but that’s quite boring for an omnipotent god like me to gift. Like, it’s such an overused present! Ugh, I need some calm.

  Diem teleports to a star system, complete with a young star and many terrestrial planets that all sustain intelligent life. The total population of this star system is around 18 trillion. They had achieved interplanetary peace and soon would master the science of lightspeed travel.

  Through some clever sabotaging of two of the planets’ orbits, Diem manages to steer them on a path of collision. In a couple of hours, their gravities will rip each other apart and draw them in, and when that happens Diem will create a black hole in the center of it, because why the hell not?

  Everything goes to plan. The star system is being consumed by the black hole, and soon enough, there is nothing left to tell of the system’s existence except for some space debris. There are no survivors.

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  Beautiful! Molto bello! 漂亮！

  That eased my mind a bit. Now, it seems like Lenny is done shuffling through the garbage, so let’s see what he has to say on the topic of Christmas gifts; and yes, I’m giving him air supply this time!

  Heya, Lenny! Speak your opinion on Christmas gifts!

  “Oh, um, well, eh, I would very much like to receive a back scratcher-”

  Say no more! Bye!

  Wait, he said a BACK SCRATCHER?? I can’t just give my players back scratchers for a holiday gift from the DM! That is, like, the least fitting gift for me to give as Dungeon Master! I need another distraction… ooh! I found a cybernetical planet where the economy seems to be the most important aspect of everyday life! Let’s cause a massive global recession!

  Diem disguises himself as a homeless man and flies into the biggest cosmopolis on the planet. He watches on the streets as armies of businessmen constantly shuffle by, none of them willing to spare a single dime(or whatever money they use on this planet) for the poor. Diem smiles. Now he has an actual excuse to wreck this planet! He casually manipulates the stocks of the largest companies and sets them to the value of $0. He then instantly creates a massive inflation crisis by multiplying all wealth on the planet by 999x. He happily laughs as he leaves the planet, now burning and chaotic.

  Now that’s some entertainment! It’s so hilarious! I love being God! Seems like Durand is finished with his business, so let’s get him over to learn about his opinion!

  Durand! How’s your day been? What’s, in your opinion, the ideal Christmas gift that I can give you?

  “You don’t need to give us anything.”

  It’s CHRISTMAS! Surely there’s something I can gift to you guys?

  “Money then?”

  No, too boring.

  “Just some random trinkets, I suppose? Like a back scratcher?”

  Well, isn’t that a massive coincidence? But no, it’s not fitting for me as Diem, the DM.

  “I really don’t know then. As I said before, you don’t need to give us anything.”

  You’re no fun. I’ll think some more, bye!

  You know what, reader? I think I get it now. Durand is right, I don’t need to give a gift to my players, because I already have one. It’s the same reason why I don’t expect gifts from my players, and also why they didn’t expect any gifts from me. It’s the campaign.

  Me DMing the campaign for them is a gift in the first place. I created this world, planning everything out, and let them enjoy my creation and let them have fun with wacky abilities, cringy characters, and the goofy plot. It’s a gift in itself that I DM every session because it’s not just for my own entertainment, but for theirs too.

  So, with that revelation and character development, I think I’m going to take a break to enjoy Christmas too. You won’t find any new uploads for a week, but I promise when I return from vacation(I found an ice cream planet), the Dark Otherworlds will be better than ever.

  Happy Holidays!