The Hero of a Thousand Deaths

  Part One:

  The Wolves Who Cried Boy

  CHAPTER FOUR

  Ryō spastically paced back and forth in front of the main elevator doors.

  Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up...

  BING! The arriving elevator announced itself.

  Once the doors rolled open, the boy darted inside and sped up to the control panel. Rushing to smack the top floor button, Ryō accidentally hit the third-to-top button instead.

  “God dammit!” He yelled, punching the correct button out of anger.

  THWACK-THWACK-THWACK-SCHHHHK. Two mechanical jaws swallowed the boy whole.

  With its doors shut, the elevator whirred to life. Creaking and coughing, it labored toward the heavens at a speed-walking pace. It seemed to be crawling. Ryō couldn't believe it––he had expected to get a hearty jog out of the renovated elevator at the very least, making this geriatric performance downright excruciating.

  Come on, you piece of shit!

  Given the high concentration of adrenaline and cortisol still coursing through his bloodstream, the boy's patience was at an all-time low. Mounting frustrations made the short two-story ride feel like a trip across the Transatlantic Railroad.

  Why are you going so damned slow?!

  Anger piquing, Ryō kicked the metallic belly of the transportation cubicle––

  SMACK-BING! The elevator emitted a loud chime upon contact, startling the boy out of his own skin.

  "No!" He shouted when the doors wheeled open to reveal an empty second floor.

  CLK-CLK-CLK-CLK. Ryō bashed the close-doors button repeatedly but to no effect. The boy nearly combusted during the elevator’s grueling twenty-second stop on the mistaken floor.

  This is fucking ridiculous…

  SCHHHHK. The doors finally shut and Ryō was free to continue his rampant back and forth pacing.

  Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up…

  BING! After ten seconds, the elevator chimed. Catharsis swept through the boy when its doors peeled open to reveal the top, correct floor. Now that he'd reached his destination, only one anxiety remained. Ryō peeked his head out to see that––Jeff was nowhere in sight.

  Thank God, the boy let out a massive sigh and dialed back the panic.

  Free of fret, Ryō proceeded toward the yearbook clubroom at a leisurely pace...

  Clk-Schk. He unlocked the door with a green-flashing touch of his fob.

  Just as the unsuspecting boy was set to enter the room, a lightning bolt of anxiety shot through him. He was forgetting something...

  The headphone!

  Ryō frantically searched his pockets, terrified and uncertain whether he'd find what he was looking for.

  Please still be there...

  YES! For the first and last time in his life, Ryō was thankful he hadn't showered or changed out of his dirty clothes from the prior day––the little white Airpod was still in his pocket, just where he'd left it.

  Grinning from pure consolation, the boy pushed open the clubroom door and entered.

  “Ah!” He screamed upon seeing who was awaiting him inside.

  Jeff sat sternly with his arms crossed in an office chair, a single white Airpod plugging one of his ears. Decorated in the same red leather tracksuit and trademark shades, the CGP unicorn appeared to be rather goaded by Ryō's tardiness.

  “Uh, I-I’m so sorry I’m late,” the boy flustered an apology, "I'll be ready in just a second, I promise––sorry."

  Fuck, this is so embarrassing... Ryō scurried to collect a handy notebook and pen from his desk.

  Jeff never responded, quietly analyzing the boy as he scuttled around the room. Feeling the weight of Mr. CGP's gaze, Ryō filled the awkward void with more apologies, "Sorry––grabbing a few things––sorry Jeff, I'll be ready in five seconds..."

  Even after the boy retrieved a chair of his own, lugged it opposite Jeff, sat down, and spent ten seconds adjusting his belongings and himself in the uncomfortable stool, the man still didn’t say a word.

  “O-okay, all set,” Ryō announced once his butt was properly kneaded into position, pen and paper equipped and ready.

  A long, awkward silence emphasized the boy's anxiety. Jeff’s facial expressions were shifting, but his mouth wasn’t moving.

  Weird… Maybe he didn't hear me?

  “Um… I’m ready when you are?” Nerves caused Ryō’s statement to sound more like a question.

  Jeff groaned, clicked his tongue, and grimaced at the boy, but never said a word.

  Okay seriously, why isn’t he saying anything?

  Ryō could sense the man’s agitation, inviting guilt to bubble inside the boy. He presumed this whole silent treatment was some form of punishment for being tardy.

  “I-I apologize for being late,” Ryō cast his gaze to the floor, "I know being late is unprofessional, and I don't want to waste your time..."

  Jeff scoffed and looked away in disgust when the boy glanced up at him.

  What the hell is going on? Is Jeff that mad at me for––oh shit that’s right! The headphone!

  Ryō dove his hand into his pocket and snatched the earpod, fenagling it into his ear canal. Mellow, humming notes of a soft Lofi song instantly started playing from the little speaker. Then, like the music itself, he began to hear Jeff’s voice in his ear––

  “Can’t believe this little motherfucker forgot the goddamn headphone. Now what the hell am I supposed to fucking do?”

  Ryō was gobsmacked, incredulous of what he was experiencing. The boy intently observed Jeff: the man's mouth was not moving. But yet, Ryō could hear his voice.

  Are these his thoughts?

  “Yeah, these are my thoughts. Took you long enough to remember the headphone.”

  Ryō jumped out of his seat, frightened.

  Is this telepathy?!

  “Yes, it’s telepathy. Don’t say anything about the conversation we’re having in my head out loud. Listen to me carefully––only speak to me like we're doing a normal ass interview when you speak aloud.”

  No way… This is crazy…

  “Ay, listen to me! There are cameras and audio devices everywhere and I need to trust that your little ass is not gonna fuck this whole thing up, Roger?” Jeff barked in the boy's eardrum.

  “Roger that," the boy said as he sat back down, "Sitting."

  Shit, Ryō winced before his butt even hit the chair. I said that out loud by accident, didn't I?

  Jeff slid his sunglasses down so the boy could see the displeasure in his eyes. "Yeah, you said that out loud."

  Shit, I'm sorry. Ryō apologized via thought, it won’t happen again, I promise.

  “You’re good,” Jeff’s voice replied, “Now ask me some random question so we could pretend like we’re doing a real interview.”

  O-okay... Yeah, uh...

  Ryō tried mining his volcanic thoughts for something useful.

  Interview question-interview question-interview question...

  I wonder if Jeff knows Emery?

  That's not a good question...

  Fuck...

  But alas, it was a hopeless endeavor––nothing of worth was to be extracted from the boy's smoldering mind.

  I can’t believe I’m actually here with Jeff...

  What a crazy twenty-four hours...

  I can't believe I'm getting R-worded in a week...

  Okay, okay––Jesus Christ, what should I ask Jeff?

  I wonder what he wants to talk about...

  Fuck, what if Jeff knows about what Emery wants to do with me?

  “Dawg––okay, you gotta stop. The inside of your head is a fucking mess. You gotta take the headphone out if you’re gonna keep thinking to yourself like this, kid. It's unbearable.” Jeff couldn't handle another minute of being inside the boy's head.

  Sorry...

  Ryō sizzled bright red with embarrassment, flustering to remove the Airpod.

  I can't let Jeff think I'm an idiot...

  The boy inhaled a deep breath, concentrated, and then asked the first question that popped to mind, “So, what were your favorite moments growing up in the Carlisle School?"

  "There's been a lot of good moments, a lot of good memories. But my favorite? Hmm..." As Jeff rattled off a cliched response, Ryō slipped the Airpod back into his ear.

  “Good job. Now let’s hurry up so we don’t get our asses caught.”

  Thanks, Jeff. Ryō blushed, exuberant to have won a 'good job' from his hero.

  Jeff sighed aloud, his depressing energy a stark foil to that of the excitable teen sitting across from him.

  “Look, kid, there’s some fucked up shit going on, alright? I can’t go too into detail, but there’s something I need to share with you. And I'm gonna need you to spread this information to all the other kids one way or another, Roger?”

  Holy shit this is so exciting. Roger.

  “Don’t get so excited.”

  Humiliated once again, Ryō went to remove the Airpod so he could engage in more guilt-free thinking––

  “What the fuck are you doing?! Keep the headphone in.”

  Right––sorry. Sorry, Jeff.

  The boy let his hand fall from his ear and began to capitulate, spiraling at a million miles per hour.

  God, this is so embarrassing...

  I'm such a fuck-up...

  I wonder if Jeff hates me now?

  He has to hate me, I'm a loser...

  “Stop! Stop thinking. Just listen, you don’t need to think." Jeff leaned forward in his seat, "And by the way, kid––I ain’t never been inside a more fucked up head. You gotta be cooler to yourself, little dude.”

  Thanks. I know, I mean I’m trying––

  “What did I just say?! Stop thinking and let me finish.”

  Right, sorry…

  Fuck...

  God, he probably hates me…

  Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

  Jeff ignored the boy and feigned another round of interview fodder, “I gotta say I miss the Boys Versus Girls Day events, those were always fun...”

  Despite talking aloud, the man managed to send Ryō a mind message––

  "A week ago, I tried locating and contacting Kalissa, but I couldn’t find her.”

  Kalissa, wow... Ryō hadn’t heard that name in a while. Kalissa was the boy's yearbook mentor, but she had left the main headquarters to work with the Mercenary Squad a few years prior.

  Isn’t she close with Jeff?

  “Yeah. She was like my little sister. Anyway, say something out loud so it looks like we’re still doing the interview…”

  Yeah––okay, I can do that. Yeah...

  “Girls are great when they’re versus boys, aren’t they?” Ryō glitched, crumbling under the pressure to balance internal with external dialogue.

  “Look, kid. I knew something was fucked up. Kalissa had asked to be released because… let’s just say Eve has been havin’ us do some real fucked up gigs the last year or two. Dawg––you gotta keep the out loud conversation going––don’t stop, that’s awkward as fuck.”

  Sorry. Ryō removed the Airpod and frantically yearned for a question. Ummmm...

  Once his line was hooked, the boy placed the earpod back in and asked, “If you could do one thing over again as a student at Carlisle, what would it be?”

  “Good,” Jeff pandered an audible response, “Well honestly Ryō, I would have to say that if I could go back, I would thank the attendants, trialists, and teachers more––let them know just how much I appreciate them.”

  He knows my name…

  Ryō was awestruck. He heard his hero say his name, to him, in a real conversation.

  Jeff knows my name...

  Jeff knows my fucking name...

  As in: the Jeff.

  Wow, that is just––

  “This whole fascination-thing you have goin’ on with me is really starting to freak me out, kid.” Jeff interrupted the boy's swoon session.

  Sorely embarrassed, Ryō went to disconnect the earpiece again.

  “Don’t you dare! Just stay with me for thirty more seconds.”

  The boy obliged despite the recurring damage his self-esteem was taking.

  “Thank you," Jeff exhaled through his nostrils, "Sorry, kid. I’m just on edge right now. But listen up cuz I’m about to tell you what I came here to tell you, capiche?”

  Capiche. Ryō secured the Airpod deeper into his ear canal and leaned forward, eager.

  “Even though it’s prohibited, I tried reaching out to anybody and everybody I could think of who's ever been voluntarily released or excommunicated... I couldn’t find or reach a single person." Jeff released an even longer sigh to compose himself for the next bit, "That could only mean one thing, kid."

  The boy cocked his head, naive to what the man was implying.

  "They’re dead, Ryō." Jeff confessed, "Release doesn’t mean release; it means euthanize.”

  What? Euthanize? Did he just say, euthanize?

  “Alright, I gotta go. I was gonna give you some orders, but––fuck, there’s just not enough time." Jeff shook his head before continuing, "I got some shit in the works, just stay safe for now, and don’t talk to anyone on staff about this––only the other kids. Make sure all of them do everything they can not to get released––and tell them I told you this and that I said to shut the fuck up about it. Aight?"

  Jeff popped out of his chair. "I will meet with you again soon, kid––I promise.” He said, approaching Ryō.

  The man went to swipe the Airpod from the kid's ear, but just before he could pluck it, Ryō sent him one last telekinetic message:

  They’re releasing me next week.

  Ryō watched Jeff mourn him where he stood. The man's face said everything––this was bad news. Bad news that Jeff hadn't previously known. Bad news that may have just changed everything the man had planned.

  Jeff put one large palm on the boy’s shoulder, “I’m sorry, kid.”

  Clk-creak. In the snap of a finger, the CGP unicorn retrieved his other Airpod and exited the door.

  Schk. The door's auto-lock activated, caging the boy inside the empty room.

  This has to be a joke…

  Ryō was drained of all life force. Having been left alone to stew in the humid fallout of his conversation with Jeff, the boy's damning reality closed in on him.

  None of this can be real…

  Flk. The automatic light flashed off, blanketing the room in darkness.

  Ryō melted into the shadows, all at once becoming a part of the umbrage.

  Seriously, could things get any worse?

  Clop-clop-clop-clop. Every quaking step sent an earthquake rippling through the tattered ribbons holding Ryō’s crumbling spine together.

  By the time he'd arrived at the elevator, the boy was on the verge of total collapse. He lifted one shaking finger to the call button, but before he could press it, his vision grew blurry. So blurry that he could hardly see at all.

  Everything was hot, suffocating, and… Wet?

  Ryō lifted a pair of fingers to his eye. Am I crying?

  A waterfall of tears answered the boy's question. He bawled and bawled, cheeks stinging from the unexpected force of this sudden purge of emotion. Although Ryō could perceive the tears streaming down his cheeks, it felt like they belonged to someone else, as though a ghost had taken over his body and now cried for him.

  Out of sync with the world, himself, and time as a construct, Ryō was losing control. Hell, he didn't even have the strength to stop his quivering lower lip from trembling. It wasn't long before a profound, knee-collapsing lethargy swept through him.

  Unable to keep himself upright, the boy folded against the elevator door…

  Clk. Ryō accidentally hit the call button with a stray hand as he glided to the floor.

  With no intention of moving, the boy let his back rest against the cold steel door. He sniffled and huffed for air, vibrating the metal sheet behind him. Ryō's whimpered breaths reverberated against the door, massaging the muscles of his spine with the echoed wavelength of each successive gasping sob.

  BING! The elevator doors suddenly screeched open, pulling the rug from under the boy.

  Ryō tumbled backward, falling flat on his back. He sighed, but that was it––the boy was utterly disinterested in existing. He surrendered to the moment, resigning to sleep in the elevator tonight...

  Schhhk-Crnch. That is until the jaws of the elevator tried closing on his sprawled-out legs.

  “Ow, okay fine.”

  Listless, Ryō elected to take the route of least effort in resolving this situation. He dragged his heels to his butt, creating just enough space for the doors to shut.

  Schhhhhhk.

  Frozen in time, Ryō never moved from his back, staring up at the ceiling for the full length of the ride down to the first floor.

  BING! The elevator chimed, but the boy had no intention of moving.

  Unfortunately for Ryō, he had no choice but to scurry to his feet when the doors wheeled open.

  Oh, shit!

  Standing outside the elevator was...the entire Omega Class student body. And Jeff.

  Fuckkkk...

  The boy felt his esophagus plummet into the depths of his stomach. Luckily for Ryō, the group was oblivious to him. Their collective attention instead fell on Jeff, who was in the process of handing out military-grade duffle bags to each student. Printed across the ribcage of these official knapsacks was a bold C.G.P. insignia.

  Nobody had noticed him yet, so the boy still had time to survey the scene for an exit route. I have to get the hell out of here. He thought, panic setting in.

  Ryō decided his best option would be to sneak around the back side of the group, along the left-hand perimeter. Just as he began to slide around the herd of students, the boy felt a gentle hand grab the back of his shoulder––

  Shit! A lightning bolt rippled down Ryō's spine, firing directly into his butthole and pursing it tightly shut.

  Mortified, the boy reversed around to see that the hand on his shoulder belonged to Eve.

  “Come join us for the send-off, Ryō.” She said, coercing him with a wicked smile, "Everyone will finally be singing the war song, you know."

  This is a nightmare––a total-fucking-nightmare, but what choice did he have?

  Bereft of words, Ryō acquiesced to the woman's bidding with a silent, dejected nod.

  "Good boy."

  Eve grinned, using an index finger to raise the boy's chin so she could look him deep in the eyes. "Don't go thinking we forgot about you, Ryō."

  Staff and instructors shepherded the Omega Class students into the cavernous Carlisle School transportation hangar. Underground and oddly moist, this basement floor of the CGP building was a dungeon of mysteries. Before this moment, not a single member of the graduating class had set foot in the transportation hangar, which shrouded the already arcane oubliette in even more mystique.

  Given its location on the basement floor, the dingy cellar's menu of weak fluorescent lights and small torches did little to help its visibility. The nebulous room had only one distinctly recognizable feature: a massive subway cart parked alongside the main platform. Built like a Metrolink shuttle, the sleek train pointed its cab at the dark tunnel where the student's fate lurked in the shadows.

  "Come, children, let us be your feet as we guide you to where you belong." Eve's voice rang out.

  Clad in black robes, Eve and the other staff members began to group all the students––except for Ryō––into a large circle. The boy lingered in the back, watching as his classmates were configured into place. Once they were organized into a perfect circle, the instructors congregated inside the residual nucleus of vacant space left between them. Standing side-by-side to create an inner circle within the greater circle, the staff members formed what was called: the sacred eye.

  "Trust us now, as we've trusted you all these years..." Eve's hypnotic voice slithered through the air like wind, "Let us be your eyes, the sight that guides you from within..."

  In unison, the staff members bowed and extended their hands with open palms. They looked ready to receive something––like a sword, or maybe a cup of porridge.

  “We’re about to send each of you off into the wilderness, into the outside world where your powers and the strength you have built across a decade of hard work will finally be put towards noble use!” Eve proclaimed as she drifted between bodies and began placing black blindfolds in the outstretched hands of her subordinates.

  Once the veils had been distributed, Eve took her place in the center, puncturing the sacred eye to become its iris.

  "Though you long for visions of a certain future..." she delayed, expertly utilizing a short silence to emphasize the moment, "The clearest truths can only be seen by those blind to the distraction of outcome. So lest you not be afraid of the dark, for an undying sun burns inside each one of your hearts."

  Eve gave the instructors a silent signal and prompted them to begin securing blindfolds to nervous faces. She watched quietly, waiting until every student was deprived of sight before continuing with the ceremony.

  “Please, my children, hold the hand of the brother and sister to your left and right!" Eve bellowed, "Each of you has proven yourselves a warrior––but only together are we an army. So as warriors of a brighter future, I summon you to the front lines! Let us wage war on hatred and greed! Let us show no mercy in vanquishing the corrupted souls of all those who oppose us!"

  Hoots and hollers erupted from the crowd, rallied by their charismatic ringleader's impassioned speech.

  "That's right, my children! Tell the world you are ready!" Eve pumped a fist into the air, "And if our cries only fall on deaf ears, let us show the world the power of our collective voice!"

  An even rowdier sea of cheers erupted from the student body, for they knew what was coming next.

  "Rise, warriors!" Eve orchestrated the energy in the room like a sorcerer, "And join me in singing the Warsong of the Domestics!”

  With no blindfold or hands to hold, Ryō couldn't do much but linger on the periphery. It would have been a different story if Emery was there, loitering in the back with him, but she wasn't. Hell, the boy wasn’t even sure if he was there.

  Eve initiated the cultish Christmas caroling, vocalizing the song lyrics with the aplomb of a seasoned Catholic Church cantor.

  “Born from the ashes of a Guardian Phoenix!”

  Everyone besides Ryō began to join their Messiah in the occult sing-a-along. The Omega Class students had studied the Warsong of the Domestics for over a decade, but this was their first time being allowed to sing it. After all, the warsong was reserved for those headed to war. For ten years, they'd been explicitly told that singing the Warsong of the Domestics was a privilege, a prerogative given only to the most deserving of Carlisle School students––the chosen ones.

  “We Rise From the Shadows,

  To Deliver the World a Burning Justice!"

  As the CGP's version of the Hitler Youth, the members of the Omega Class were bred to pride themselves in this moment.

  "Protect Freedom with Strength,

  Protect Love with Power!"

  Now that *this moment* stood before Ryō, and without him, the boy found the whole thing rather psychotic. Watching the awkward and hellish fever dream unfold petrified Ryō where he stood. Agony, existential dread, and horror dilated his unmoving eyes from the cultish insanity he was spectating.

  This is so fucking weird...

  As the song began to chorus, goosebumps proliferated over every inch of the boy’s skin.

  "Together We Fight,

  Together We Conquer!

  Together We Scream,

  Together We Live!”

  The Warsong of the Domestics. Ryō knew it by heart. But now that it was being sung aloud, the lyrics seemed obscure and foreign. It was then that the boy realized something. He realized that despite having studied and memorized the lyrics in text-form, he'd never actually palated their meaning––and by God were they divinely disturbing.

  “Domestics of the Strongest Nation,

  Descendents of the Strongest Race!

  Flat, harmonizing voices swirled around Ryō, pulling him deeper and deeper into the lyrics until he was asphyxiating in a nauseous stupor.

  "Demigods of a Sacred Order,

  We have no King,

  And we know no borders!"

  Approaching the climax, the choir of students and instructors raised their volume in unison, synergizing into one booming voice as they chanted the final portion.

  "Together We Rise!

  Together We Die!”

  The final lyrics echoed in the underground hangar, ominously lingering in the air like stale curry.

  Together we rise, together we die? Ryō was gobsmacked. Die? What the fuck...

  The boy took a stupefied gander at the scene before him.

  It's all been nothing but bullshit, hasn't it? Weird, complete, and total bullshit…

  His gaze locked onto Eve, who was concluding the ceremony by kissing the foreheads of each newly promoted vassal. Every time she approached one of the students, they'd bow their heads and chant, "Together we rise, together we die," to express their gratitude for the odd affection.

  So fucking weird...

  All at once, the existential questions came flooding in. How was this the pinnacle––the glory in the distance that Ryō had aspired to achieve his entire life? How had he never seen the truth before? How had he not seen this whole operation exactly for what it was?

  It only took one cutting smile from Eve to kindle an answer––oh yeah, fear.

  Ryō was reluctantly forced to stay and watch as Professor Boris led his old classmates onto the graduation tram. They entered one after the other, buzzing and socializing as if this were some normal field trip. Once the shuttle was loaded, its engine roared to life.

  VRRRRRRR…

  TING-TING-TING-TING. In lightning-quick succession, the floor lights lining the departing tracks blinked on, creating an assembly line of halos leading into the abysmal tunnel ahead.

  Eve, Lara, and the handful of other remaining CGP staff stood on the side, waving, as the tram warped off down the pitch-black shaft like a flash in the pan.

  WOOOOOOSH…

  With his classmates officially anywhere but there with him, a strange epiphany swept over Ryō––

  I don’t wish I was going with them anymore. He no longer felt any of that all-too-familiar jealousy or envy. At all.

  The boy ruminated on the curious, eerie feeling inside of him.

  I feel...

  BLINK. The light fixtures illuminating the transportation tunnel and surrounding area all flashed off at once, leaving nothing but the whispy glow of the remnant torches.

  Like I'm already dead.