Dear diary,

  I had to dig a hole to go poop today 'cause somebody tried to flush a fish down the toilet and clogged it up. None of the toilets inside the house are working properly and the plumber hasn't arrived yet.

  Bitsy and Goodman tried to fix the plumbing but they only made the situation worse. They somehow messed up so bad that we don't even have running water anymore.

  This book's true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience.

  Now we're forced to hike down the mountain and use the toilets at the hot springs. But it's too far and I really needed to poop, so I just pooped outside. I buried it and wiped using leaves, but leaves don't make for good toilet paper.

  I've already washed my hands ten times so you don't need to worry.

  Love,

  Tina