Dear diary,

  Flowers are a plants private parts...

  I wish Ms. Birch never taught us about that. I can never look at a flower the same way ever again. To think that I've been mutilating plants this whole time.

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  I'm so sorry. I'm a murderer.

  I never realised this before but, a plants fruits are its babies. And I've eaten a lot of fruit and vegetables. I'm not only a murderer. I'm a mass murderer!

  The bringer of vegetable catastrophe's. The voracious plant eater. The consumer of plant children!

  Lord forgive me for I have sinned.

  Love,

  Tina