Dear diary,

  Operation find Theodore's true love is on.

  First order of business is getting out of this fog, but that's kinda impossible right now so we're changing gears. New mission, find out what Theodore likes.

  The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.

  If we know what Theodore likes, then maybe we'll have a clue to find what he loves!

  I brought him a chicken. He did not like the chicken. They fought and Theodore lost. Why would he even pick a fight with a chicken when he can't reach it cause he's stuck in a barrel? I dunno and he won't say.

  I'm gonna bring him some sausages next.

  Love,

  Tina