Dear diary,

  I'm doomed. Like really doomed. Like ultra mega doomed, doomed. Like so doomed no one's ever gonna wanna associate with me doomed. Doomed to hell and back, doomed to heaven and back, doomed to Saturn and Jupiter and mars and all the planets in the universe.

  Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

  aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

  I puked in front of everyone in the party. I will never recover, never. I shouldn't have drunk that weird concoction the princess gave me. She sucks at cooking, or is it mixing drinks? I don't want to go outside, I can't go outside. It's physically impossible.

  I'm so embarrassed.

  Love,

  Tina