“You know, Prof, I've been thinking," Mini informed Prof when the two girls returned in the morning. Mini thinking mostly led to issues, scandalized people, and a headache for Prof.

  “Joyful! Should I start running?”

  “No, it's nothing serious. I wanted to ask if you really want to take care of that toddler."

  “She’s walking upright, so I doubt, she is a toddler. But yeah, why not.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah. I can’t just leave her on the roadside.”

  “So, you intend to be a father figure for her?"

  “Sure. To quote a great philosopher, what could possibly go wrong?”

  “Yes, yes, yes. Congratulations, Prof, we are now the proud parents of Whatshername!"

  “I doubt, it's that easy to adopt someone. You probably have to fill out forms, suffer a background check, bribe some people, and… well, dunno… follow the red tape?"

  “Oh, no one told you? If you state three times in front of two witnesses, that you intend to adopt an orphan, you will be the legal guardian, enforced by the System. So, congrats again!”

  “Hahaha. Nice try of a practical joke!”

  “The leech is right. You now legally have offspring. Just fantastic, peasants multiplying."

  “If you don't believe us, check your Character Parchment. There should be a tab named ankle-biters, offspring, or brats."

  Indeed, the red exclamation mark started pulsing in Prof's peripheral view. He very much doubted it was for another Level Up – clearly not enough time has passed for that to happen.

  “WHAT?!? The System says I'm a father now!?!?"

  “Isn’t it a miracle? Without even ever using the [Sex] Skill!”

  “Why did you do this? Why not tell me sooner?!? We could have figured out something!"

  “Mostly, because it was fun, seeing your desperate and forlorn face. Also, I assumed, you knew. You always whine and complain, if someone asks you if you grew up in a cave!"

  “Wait! He isn’t a cave-dweller?” D?nci asked.

  “Why is everyone thinking that?! No, I’m not, and I have even read that damn rulebook! It’s not my fault, crucial information was left out!”

  “See, D?nci, this is what I meant.”

  “Surprising, he can even read.”

  “Ssssharpclaw can't read. Missssster ssssmarter, than Ssssharpclaw!”

  Prof desperately wanted to change topics, but the only other thing, he could think of was Mini's nightly excursion. No one was willing to ask Mini, what she did last night because it was guaranteed, she would answer. No one with an Intelligence above 3 wanted to do that.

  Not for a second time, at least.

  With the undead not exactly needing sleep, their resident, unhinged Vampire had too much free time to do things, that no sane person would like to know about.

  Besides, not knowing could be important in court.

  “Saddle up! Only a day or two, and we will be in Fallaria! Nice weather awaits!” traveling – and leaving behind the current constabulary – was also a good change of topic.

  “Yeah! Luckily, there won’t be any sights to see on the way!” Mini was ecstatic.

  “Strange, you mentioned that. There is a very picturesque castle ruin, a scenic waterfall, and a charming mining colony – you can even visit the mines! – and quaint memorials for a few battles ahead of us!"

  “Yay… Lucky us…”

  “I think, knowing your future empire is very important. How else would you know, who to turn into mindless drones, working for the betterment of yourself?”

  “That’s easy! You simply hire someone from the street.” Well, it worked on Earth; if all the corporations were successfully doing it, a Supreme Emperor could do the same.

  The first monument for a battle turned out to be situated only an hour's drive from their campsite. What little Prof found out about the battle was that one noble clashed with another for 'reasons'. Since that description covered about a hundred percent of medieval battles, it wasn't exactly helpful. If at least one of the protagonists suffered some hilarious surprise or fate, when the other proved, how a military genius he was by crushing the opposite force with qualitative and quantitative superiority…

  But no.

  Even the quaint memorial was an overgrown pile of barely recognizable rubble.

  “Hey, look, someone painted a dick on the statue's face!" Mini found the obviously most important part of an ancient memorial for a critical battle between two bored nobles. Selflessly enriching structures with paint was probably done since the first wall was ever erected and either the neighbor got jealous or some kids bored. Painting an anatomically incorrect appendage on a ruined statue was nothing new for Prof to see.

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  “Prof, I sincerely hope, the next ‘quaint monument’ will be more quaint and more of a monument. I can find piles of rubble almost everywhere!”

  “Oh, you are finally interested in seeing the sights?”

  “No. I just don’t want to make poor Fricassee into an orphan after only a few hours.”

  “Francesca, not Fricassee. The one is a person, the other a kind of food.”

  “Don’t care. And you are wrong. Both are names for food, but one is self-propelled.”

  “Ehmmm.. Mini… I think you should learn the name of the girl you just adopted…”

  “Why? 'Hey, you' seem to work just fine. Look. Hey, You! Look at this pile of rubble, your new dad dragged us to see!"

  Prof was almost sure, a parent should know the names of their children – the same, as a boss should know the names of their underlings. However, ‘hey, you’ worked just fine in most workplaces…

  “Francesca, when you have the chance to visit important cultural places, you should do so.” Prof decided to at least try to be an almost-single parent, and remember the new kid’s name. “And don’t forget to look up what the exact cultural significance and history was. That would most likely give you free Skill Points. Free stuff is always good!”

  “What is important about pile of rubble?”

  “It commemorates a very important battle between very important factions!”

  “???”

  “Ehmmm… This is your homework! Look up the history!"

  “Work home? For [Housekeeping]?" not being fluent in each other's language wasn't exactly ideal. Prof and the very educated party needed to teach Francesca Bergian – that was the language everyone in the party spoke. At least marginally, in the case of Sharpclaw.

  Having looked at the culturally very important pile of rubble long enough, they mounted the wagon and continued their way to other, equally important – and hopefully more intact – piles of rubble. Being able to see intact piles of destroyed buildings was the only thing, Prof missed from Earth, even when he had to pay for the experience. There were even places, where intact castles, mansions, and such could be visited, assuming they weren't made into hotels and private homes for the ruling caste.

  On Arkadia, the functional buildings were all still occupied by the ruling caste, and as everywhere in the multiverses, rich folks didn’t like, when the common people trespassed on their turf.

  So, Prof was left with visiting unkempt places of interest – but at least for free.

  The road, they were traveling soon left the rolling hills of inland Julia and entered the more mountainous part of the country. While traffic was even lighter there, meaning the Hogs had a lower chance of running over someone, Prof still couldn't enjoy the view. Just the opposite. A mountainous road had, surprisingly, a lot of bends, turns, and narrows, all with strategically placed chasms and steep slopes. Not to forget potholes and random rocks, but every medieval road had those. Prof was almost certain, his Hogs would be able to survive the fall, but not his precious wagon. Sharpclaw and himself could most likely save themselves too, leaving Francesca and D?nci to a grim fate.

  Well, probably not D?nci.

  As it was, Prof missed quite a few pleasing sights of swift little creeks, artistically fallen old trees, mossy crags, a few hidden meadows, hosting grazing animals, misty vales, right out of a fairy tale (hopefully without evil grannies and dragons and stuff), snowy peaks, rising above deep woods and other spectacles, that would make popular postcards, puzzles, wallpapers, and tourist traps.

  Even so, Prof did not miss a few other sights. Like an ancient bridge, he almost missed, a ruined (but extremely picturesque) watermill, he backed up against, making one of the walls fall over (and so making the ruin less picturesque), a lookout tower, situated on the roadside, providing an excellent view – the Hogs simply ate one of the legs, and Prof didn’t want to find out, how structurally sound the remainder was – or a very nice waterfall, that was fed by a stream, running across the road. Prof was absolutely sure, the stones were weakened by millennia of erosion already, so driving his wagon over the place had absolutely nothing to do with it collapsing and eradicating the waterfall.

  On second thought, it would have been a better idea to stick to the main road.

  At least the castle ruin was a sight to see – and not reachable by Hog wagon, so it wasn't ruined further. The main keep (a continental, not a Franco-Norman one) looked quite alright, only missing the roof and the top floor. The curtain walls looked breached in a few places, even from across the valley.

  “Nope. I won’t climb a hill, just to see a ruin. Do you know, how many castle ruins I have seen? Or standing ones?”

  “Not wantssss to ssssee casssstle.”

  “Come on! It would be fun! A special view, romantic ambiance, and so forth! I don't want to climb up there alone. Please."

  “You can carry me up there, peasant. I want to see the potential outpost for my future empire!”

  “Thank you, I guess. Francesca, are you coming?”

  “Cultural signi…thingy?”

  “Yeah! For a change, I know some legends about the place! It is said, the lord of the castle abducted a beautiful girl, to become his… let's call it wife. However, her nanny was a witch, so while the lord built her prison, magical ravens stole the stones at night. Only when the lord let the girl go – with quite a ransom – had the ravens return what they stole. Fascinating, isn't it?"

  “It’s hogwash!” Mini and D?nci said at the same time.

  “Prof, no real witch would return stolen goods, and most likely she would have killed the lord in the first place.”

  “Not if the lord was higher Level!”

  “Prof, witches use curses and poison, not poultry.”

  “Yeah, those would be druids.”

  “Thank you very much… Now, I don’t want to hike up there anymore.”

  “Good. I know, you wanted to see useless crap, and that castle is probably worth your time, but I'm bored and want to get to that place with eternal nice weather, beaches, beach bars, parties, and good mobile food. You promised!"

  That was the eternal dilemma for every traveler: see the sights or get drunk cheaply. Allegedly, you could do both, but for some strange reason, most of the people weren't interested in the Knossos Palace, rather going to the Ballermann, not connecting the two activities in any form. One would assume, that if someone paid a lot of money to go to, say, Egypt, they would leave the hotel to see, say, the Pyramids, or say, Palmyra or something.

  Mini was the kind of tourist, who went to see the nightlife and left graffiti on ancient ruins.

  Prof knew, when to push the issue and when it was time to saddle up, shut up, and get on the road. He longingly glanced back at the picturesque and scenic ruin but steeled himself with the knowledge, that a medieval world was probably full of other castle ruins to see.

  It was only two days of travel – pointedly ignoring sights all the time – to reach the border to Fallaria. Strangely, there were no border guards present.

  “All right folks, welcome to the country of eternal nice weather, sunny beaches, and quality wine, the Fallarian Empire or Kingdom or whatever!"

  “Prof, look! It is snowing!”