“Wh-what do you mean?” I asked.

  “Well…we’ve talked about whether we could bring ourselves to buy the escape tickets and we both admitted that we’ve thought about it, and we’ve talked about whether we think the others might have it in them to kill someone, and we thought that some of them might, so…could you do it?”

  “In my entire life I’ve never had to think about anything like this, but I’ve started thinking about the answer more and more since I’ve been here,” I said. “The more I look inside myself, I just don’t think I could. I’m more of a runner than a fighter. Maybe if it was for self-defense, but I don’t think I could actually take someone’s life. I have a huge fear of blood anyway, so I don’t think I could go through it with all the mental hurdles I’d have to pass. That’s a pretty morbid question…Are you feeling okay?”

  “Yeah, I guess it makes sense that you wouldn’t be able to,” Marin said. “The look on your face when Jane was killed was enough to see that you’d struggle with that sort of thing. And yeah, I’m fine. I was just curious. It’s nothing. As long as you’re here, then I’ll be okay. You ready for bed?” I smiled before giving an uneasy nod.

  First, she asked me to help “keep her sane” and now she wants to know if I have it in me to actually kill someone…I have no idea what’s going on in her head, but I’m starting to think she’s not as mentally stable as I originally thought. Neither am I though, so maybe it’s unfair to judge her like that. So many people here seem to be acting relatively normal given the circumstances, but I am certain that they are all dealing with similar struggles which is definitely a reason to stay on guard. For my sake, and for Marin’s. I’m going to keep my promise to her.

  It was very difficult to get some sleep. It’s not like I’ve been sleeping well since I’ve been here, but this is definitely worse than normal. Part of me doesn’t really want to admit it, but I feel slightly paranoid after Marin’s recent questions that she might do something unpredictable. Levi’s entire plan seems to be to try and break us down, and it’s obviously working just as he predicted. By creating this sports tournament, he created a situation where our backs would be against the wall. He’s preying upon our anxieties that we might be the one who will be voted to die. I don’t think there’s anyone on either team that feels like it would be impossible for them to be voted for, and that small chance of death is more than enough to turn on our fight or flight response, and it’s only going to get worse as this goes on. I attempted to push these thoughts out of my head and try to get some sleep. A few hours passed, but I was woken up by a sort of scuffling sound in the room. The paranoia got the better of me and my eyes shot open. I looked around our dark room with my eyes still adjusting, and I saw a figure sitting in the middle of the room. I screamed. I couldn’t hold it back. Once I did, I saw the figure jump and heard a shrill scream immediately after my own.

  “Ryder, are you okay?!” The voice said.

  It was Marin’s. A wave of relief followed by one of shame came under me.

  “Jesus Christ…” I said with my hand on my chest. “You scared the shit out of me, Marin. What are you doing down here?”

  “Sorry! I couldn’t sleep and my bed was starting to feel a little claustrophobic, so I wanted to sit on the beanbag for a bit. Sorry for scaring you…”

  “I’m sorry for scaring you in return, but I guess that makes us even.”

  “You can definitely say that. That was some kind of scream. Didn’t know you had one like that in you,” she laughed.

  “I could say the same for you! You sounded like you fell off a cliff into a moat of lava!”

  “I’m a girl so I’m allowed to have a high-pitched scream. Yours was even shriller than mine though.”

  She definitely was getting a kick out of this.

  “Wow. Double standard, much? I can scream however I want! You can’t make me feel bad.”

  “Why did you scream anyway?” she asked. “You know no one can get in here except for us, right?”

  “After what happened to Louis…I know these doors aren’t as reliable as they seem.”

  “Jeez, that's a scary thought… Either way, I’ll spend a little more time down here, so I’ll watch the door! Leave it to me!”

  “You should get some sleep.”

  “I will! I promise. Go back to sleep, okay?”

  “Okay…” I closed my eyes.

  I’m glad I was able to think of a good excuse in the moment. I’m usually terrible at thinking on my feet, but I guess even I have my moments. There was no way I could tell her that I was afraid of her because of what she has been saying recently. Using the excuse that our doors aren’t impenetrable was a good choice. My paranoia always got the better of me in the outside world and it seems like nothing has changed for me here either. I just hope she wasn’t planning on sneaking out and doing anything irreversible.

  I finally opened my eyes. I wasn’t sure if it was morning or not, but it definitely wasn’t after 7am because there was no way I could sleep through the morning announcement. I got ready to rub my eyes but felt a warm pressure on my right hand. I sat up a bit and looked down. What I saw was Marin’s hand lightly grasping my own. She had pulled the beanbag up to my bed and had her head resting on the edge of my mattress with her hand grasping mine. She had a peaceful look on her face. Seeing this made me feel like a real piece of shit. I wanted to punch myself in the face for doubting her for even a moment. She’s just scared and vulnerable like the rest of us. I can’t lose my faith in her. She would never hurt someone.

  As I was mentally berating myself, I heard a small noise come from Marin’s mouth as she slowly looked up at me with her ice blue eyes. Her hair was a mess.

  “Good morning…” she said sleepily.

  She removed her hand from mine and got up with a stretch that caused her pajama shirt to show her stomach. She then slumped down and rubbed her eyes, still sitting in the beanbag chair.

  “Sorry about holding onto you all night. It just…helped me sleep.”

  “I-I don’t mind. If it helps you sleep, I’m okay with it.”

  “Thank you,” she said with a cute smile. “I promise not to make it a regular thing…I just really needed it tonight. My head was all over the place.”

  “I really don’t mind. Next time though, I’ll let you have the bed. I’ll take the beanbag chair.”

  “I can’t ask you to do that! Ugh…I’m sorry for being so needy.”

  “We’re in this together so it’s okay to lean on me whenever you want to.”

  I really meant it too.

  She gave me the warmest smile she had given me yet.

  “Th-thank you…” Her face was bright red. “You can lean on me too, okay?”

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  “Sure,” I said with a smile. “You ready to start soccer today?”

  “As ready as I’ll ever be. This is the sport I think I could manage the most undeserved success in, so here’s hoping for another influx in cash to our wallets! That party and spending spree really set me back…”

  “Yeah, having some more money will be nice, but winning is what’s most important. I hate to put the other team on the chopping block, but the only power we have right now is to protect each other.”

  You don’t think Keon will figure something out before the end of the tournament?” Marin looked nervous, which was probably because she knew the answer.

  “I wouldn’t hold our breath. I’ve been thinking a lot about it a lot too and those escape tickets seem to be the only real way out.”

  “What if we…killed Levi?”

  Another chill ran up my spine. I could tell she meant it.

  “Well…if it’s true that he’s the only one who knows the code to the elevator, we wouldn’t be able to kill him. We’d have no way to learn the code without him, and without Louis, we’d have no way to try to bypass any of the locks to even get that far.”

  “Jeez…So what can we do?” Marin was a bit pale.

  “Wait and see. That’s all we can do. Protect ourselves and those we care about until we get rescued…or make it to the top the way Levi wants us to…”

  “I don’t like that, Ryder…” She was holding her own hand. “Can we not save everyone…?”

  “Let’s just take this all one step at a time, okay? There’s no sense in thinking about the future when it’s all more or less planned out for us. We should focus on the sports tournament first-”

  As I was talking, the morning announcement went off. Another day in paradise was about to start. The sound of the announcement made Marin jump. It seems she’s more on edge than she was yesterday. It’s probably my fault for talking the way I have, but I need her on her guard if we’re going to make it out of here. I have to keep my promise.

  “You go ahead and take the first shower,” I said. Marin nodded then made her way into the bathroom.

  Alone with my thoughts once again. It’s never a good thing, but having a pessimistic attitude is probably a good thing in a place like this. I feel bad for dragging Marin down to my level, but I’d rather have her unhappy than dead. I wonder if I can become as good at soccer as I was at basketball. I sure hope so because this is a “win or go home” situation. I heard the bathroom door click and out came Marin. Again, she wasn’t wearing her usual apron. She silently made her way to the beanbag chair and took a seat. I smiled at her and then went into the bathroom. I took off my shirt and went up the partially fogged up mirror. I looked at myself and was surprised at what I saw. I looked…stronger. Maybe my mind was playing tricks on me. It would be impossible to gain any noticeable amount of muscle in less than a week after all. I took my shower.

  After finishing up, we made our way to the cafeteria to get our breakfast and meet up with the others. Breakfast seemed to be Canadian-themed this time. At least how the U.S. sees one, I guess. There was Canadian bacon, pancakes with maple syrup, and sunny side up eggs. I grabbed my share, then took a seat at the table surrounded by who you might expect. Sabrina on one side and Marin on the other. Marin was closer to me than usual though.

  “How’d you sleep, Ryder?” Sabrina asked.

  “As well as I could in this place, I guess.”

  “I see. Are you ready to start practicing soccer? I’m not an expert on soccer by any means, but I’ll happily teach you everything I know.” She sounded excited.

  “Even so, you’ll be the assistant coach, Sab,” Carmen said, taking the spot across from me. “You told everyone that I’m the new generation’s Ronaldo, so I have to prove I deserve the title.”

  “You better still have that spark I saw back in high school,” Sabrina said.

  “I still find it hard to believe that you just so happened to be at the same match I was. It was probably just a lucky guess with a mix of racial profiling since I’m a latina.”

  “I would never! Ryder wouldn’t like me if I was racist! Unless…are you racist, Ryder?”

  “No!” I objected. “Of course not!”

  “And what if he said yes?” Cyrus asked, taking his spot next to Carmen.

  “Then I would support him,” Sabrina said like it was obvious.

  “Ryder, you hold too much power over this girl,” Carmen said, folding her arms. “You better not turn her into some racist, degenerate Redditor.”

  “Don’t use ‘Redditor’ like a derogatory term!” Atticus said, taking his spot on the other side of Carmen. “Don’t let a few bad examples inform your opinion. That’s almost worse than racial profiling.”

  “Thank goodness you said ‘almost,’” Carmen said, rubbing her forehead. “Why am I not surprised that you were the one to defend Reddit…”

  “Sounds like profiling to me, Carmen,” Cyrus said with a smirk.

  “Redditors are not a race. Don’t even start with me, or you’ll be running laps once we get to the field.”

  Cyrus pretending to zip his mouth shut.

  “I’m glad we have an understanding. Hey, Marin, you feeling okay? You look a bit pale,” Carmen asked.

  “Oh! Yeah! I’ve just got a lot on my mind is all…”

  “Ryder, what did you do to her?” Carmen asked.

  “Why is it always my fault?!”

  “Is it not?”

  “Okay…maybe partly.”

  “I rest my case. What happened?”

  “Nothing happened!” Marin objected. “It’s not his fault. I just don’t wanna be here anymore…”

  “Nothing more normal than that,” Cyrus said.

  Just focus on the task at hand and we’ll take it from there, okay?” Carmen said softly. “We’re going to win the soccer game, win the baseball game, then we’ll move up a floor which might have something that can help us get out of this hellhole.”

  “But…someone will have to die…” Marin said sadly.

  “There’s no way out of here without playing by their rules,” Atticus said plainly.

  “Someone will have to bite the bullet if we want to get closer to getting out of here,” Cyrus added.

  “Saving ourselves comes before worrying about others,” Carmen said. “I know it’s horrible, but it’s all we can do.”

  Marin looked at her feet sadly, then took a deep breath. “I guess you’re right. Maybe we can’t save everyone.”

  “Don’t think about it like that,” Carmen said. “Protecting ourselves and those we have the power to, that’s what we should focus on.”

  Seems that the hope that Keon would find a way out of here was almost non-existent. Even Carmen, who certainly has spent the most time with Keon to this point, doesn’t believe anymore. I can’t help but feel bad when I look at Marin’s face though. I said I’d help keep her sane, but I’m already failing at that. I should try to keep her spirits high, even if I’m lying.

  “Don’t totally lose hope though,” I said. “We’ve been gone almost a week now, so people are definitely looking for us. The end of the tournament isn’t for six more days. I’m sure someone will come for us before it’s all over.”

  “It’s certainly possible,” Carmen said. “Just another reason we have to win the soccer game. If we lose, the end of the tournament will be in half the time.”

  Marin finally gave us a smile. Whether or not it was fake, I couldn’t tell.

  “No sense in wallowing in despair,” she said. “Alright! Let’s get to the field and kick some balls into some holes! Isn’t it weird how every sport involves putting a ball somewhere? When did the world get so obsessed with balls?”

  “Wish I could’ve gotten that last sentence on video,” Carmen said with a smile.

  “Don’t take me out of context! That’s how you make enemies!”

  Carmen giggled. “I’ll keep that in mind. Alright, you all ready to hit the field? We shouldn’t waste any more time.”

  “Shouldn’t we track down Robbie first?” Marin asked.

  “I saw him leave the cafeteria earlier. He’ll probably be at the field shortly,” Carmen said. “We hardly taught him anything during the basketball practice days anyway, whatever skills he does have, are already in him.”

  “Then I guess we should get going,” Atticus said standing up. Everyone followed suit.