I forcefully inhaled, a loud hiss accompanying every movement of my chest.

  Once again I was torn from the warm embrace of Divine Twins, pulled out of the eternal darkness, stuffed back into my duty, my prison, my pride, my burden. I clenched my fist, my metal carapace following my motion, forever bound to my very soul. I looked around. Like ants, smart ones were bustling around me, studying me, injecting my shell with a fresh mana, dense like water. I sat up.

  "Y-your Holiness!" said one of them, wearing pristine white donning and glass pieces over his eyes.

  I focused my gaze on him. His head turned to the sides, visibly uncomfortable. That is understandable. Whoever made my armour did not separate the towering column for a head from the chest piece. With time, my submerged husk of a body dried out, my head — one single ethereal eye, capable of seeing all at once, and nothing at all. Eventually I asked him, "Yes, knowledgeable one. I am listening." Metal resonated with my every word, forced by my mental fortitude.

  "Yes! Your Holiness, your duty has passed one century and..."

  "Already?" I mused. It didn't seem like that. Only yesterday I was encased in blood-red metal, with gold and black divine adornments and enchantments, infused with lethal doses of mana and potions, all that I could fight the heretical fiends of the East. It all seemed like yesterday.

  "Y-yes. If you would like to retire, you can do so, at your will."

  "Retire?" my gaze involuntarily focused on the smart one again. I genuinely asked "How do I retire from that?" My arm lifted at my will, following not my carcass inside, but the soul bound to the metal frame.

  "W-we concluded that mental load is too much to handle for a single human. So we came up with a procedure to retire the Holy Guards. We can gift each one of you a mortal body, free from the burden of the honorous duty."

  "That can't be. My feeble flesh is bound to this coffin, harder than mountain. And you say that this one can live a simple life?"

  "P-p-please, your Mightiness! Spare us for we meant no offence!"

  "I am not angry, knowledgeable one. I am but impressed." I sighed. The emotions I produce are too meek and frail, only other Holy Guards know how to perceive them for what they are. I tried distancing myself from the mortal mind, "Show me."

  "Sure, my liege!" silver-robed man bowed hastily and scuttled back in fear, "Follow me, please!"

  I disconnected the umbilical on my chest with a twist. Fresh mana stopped coming into my suit and the multitude of enchantments whirred back to life, as I did minutes ago. I lifted my massive body, metal clanking at every movement. As I stood up, I looked around the room. Same old medical ward, new faces, but some things never change. Everyone looked up at my towering figure from below, most never reaching the height of my armpit in their lifetime. The smart one that dared to speak to me in the first place stared with awe at me. Hastily he bowed again and shuffled into the large corridor, bigger than he needed it to be. But I did. The whole building was designed with Holy Guards in mind. I slowly followed the human, slowly walking in his wake, while he desperately hurried onward. Magically infused stone of the corridor crackled under my feet, metal slowly eroding the hard material. With each step I got used to being alive again. The smart one stopped before the iron door and stared at it for a moment. He contemplated the obstacle for a second or two and tried to push it open. I huffed with amusement. These doors were made to withstand Holy Guards' force, the human entrance was from the other side of the rooms, bearing usual-sized entrances. I silently and carefully pushed the door open.

  "T-thank you, your Mightiness..." human awkwardly mumbled and hurried inside. "It is the place."

  I walked inside, closing the door behind. The room was not very different in its materials, but the equipment piqued my interest. It was unlike I have ever seen in all my long life. Twelve long glass vats filled with pink liquid contained twitching bodies, from child to an adult. "What is that?"

  "These are the bodies for the Holy Guards. We managed to create them artificially from the samples we collected a year ago."

  "A mere strand of dried flesh created this?"

  "Y-yes. We employed the help of one powerful druid..."

  "Druid?" my stern voice made the human shudder. "I thought those godless ones perished long time ago."

  "M-most of them, yes. But some hid in the mountains, forests and deserts."

  "Are they a danger?"

  "No. Not at all, sir! In fact, many of them worship the God of magic."

  "Humph. I do not accept any God aside from Divine Twins."

  "S-sure, your Mightiness." The human gulped fearfully. "S-so, these are the bodies made in your image, up until your entering the holy duty."

  "I was barely twelve."

  "Y-yes, this one is your body, your Holiness," the human walked towards the fourth vat, containing the frail body of a child.

  "My... body?" I looked at the weak and skinny human child inside. Something inside me twitched, the body in the vat mimicking the motion. "How long till it expires?"

  "T-they don't, sir. We covered each and every vat in temporal stabilisation matrix, allowing us to manipulate the flow of time and matter inside the incubation pods..."

  "Concise, please. This one has not followed the magic developments since stepping on duty."

  "S-sure, sir. The body is waiting for your retirement, however long it takes. It won't change or age. And... If you wish we could grow it to the maturity. Your mind is not that of a child after all..."

  "Even that?..." I fell in deep thought, looking at the vats. "I... I need to think."

  "Sure thing, your Mightiness! What... What are you going to do now, sir?"

  "Go on duty at the Emperor's palace."

  "As you wish," human bowed. "If you allow, I will return to the medical ward."

  "Very well." I said and walked through the massive door, leaving the twelve fleshy bodies suspended in their vats.

  I picked up my manasteel sword in the armoury, the important attribute of my duty. I ran my metal fingers across its length, feeling each dent and scratch of powerful material. The battle-forged blade sang at my movement, happy to see me again. Gently I touched my forehead with a side of a blade, returning its fondness. Those smart clerics were right, a living soul in a blade was a good thing. Not only it helped greatly in battle, it was a way to maintain my humanity after so many hardships. I released the blade, and it levitated behind my back, where it belonged. I walked onto the streets from the building, resembling the Ravenloft cathedral. Bright sun gave no solace to my tired spirit, as I felt no warmth from its rays. In thought, I walked the street, folk making way for my hulking figure. In awe, they looked up at me, bowed, sent their gratitudes for keeping their country safe from terrifying monsters born from souls of dying mages. I was used to it, and normally I would not pay them much attention. But today... Something in me changed. Be it another gruesome death, or the prospect of retirement, I viewed them differently. Maybe that change somehow influenced the tiny human child, that walked in front of me. I stopped.

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  "Oh, Gods! Please forgive my daughter, your Holiness!" screamed the mother of the child, hurrying to take the kid away from my path.

  "No, it is nothing to worry about, citizen," I tried making the voice as warm as possible and kneeled in front of them. "What is it, little one?"

  "Take!" screamed the kid from her mother's embrace.

  "What is it?" I focused my feel of surroundings. In her hands was a flower, frail, like her tiny body. "A... flower? For me?"

  "Yes! Take!" the kid was unfazed by the difference in sizes, clearly not afraid of enormous metal figure of mine.

  "I... Erm... Thank you, little one." I gently took the flower by its stem, lifting it closer to inspect. "You are very brave."

  "I want to be like you!"

  "No... Don't dream of my duty, little one. You can do much more without sacrifices I had to make. Be proud of who you are. Be proud to be a human of Kingdom. And Gods will bless your life." Kid was looking in awe at me, my words, maybe, too hard for her to comprehend. I laughed a little, "You can become much better than I have. I believe that."

  The child beamed with a bright smile, happily trying to describe her mother about her interaction, as if she was not here at all. But the woman still looked at me, her eyes no longer filled with awe, but sorrow and sadness, pity even. The insides of my shell shuddered again.

  "Forgive me, I have to go. The Emperor's palace is in need of a guard." I stood up and remembered I was holding a flower. I thought for a moment and noticed the expectant look of a kid. Carefully, I put it into the intricate floral patterns on my chest piece, "I will cherish it. Farewell, little one." Once again, the child screamed with excitement, happy to see his present in display for everyone to see.

  I carefully stood up and some man from the crowd helped the woman up and away, giving me a path to walk on. The rest of my walk was uneventful, but my head was filled with thoughts. Way too many thoughts for a Holy Guard, must I say. I passed the God of Magic church, trying to ignore its presence in the capital of Holy Kingdom, and walked inside the palace of the Emperor. Golden and white building had innumerable statues and murals, depicting their grand achievements. I entered the throne room, scaring some humans who came to worship their holy visage. I came before the throne and knelt.

  "Brother, you came to replace one of us?" asked the Holy Brother.

  "Sure thing, Brother," I answered and stood up, turning to the second guard. "Greetings, Sister."

  "Greetings, Gabriel," said Holy Sister. I felt her gaze scan my internals, and I looked at her. Her blood-red armour was adorned with white and gold snakes, while my patterns were those of a black and gold flowery vines. Her half of the Holy Dozen were the protectors of Mythra's will, while we, Brothers, bore the might of Mythos. "You feel different. What is that on your armour?"

  "That... It is a gift from a child. I would like to bear it."

  "It doesn't explain why your soul is altered, Brother," said the Holy Brother.

  "I..." I established a mental connection between the three of us, "The smart ones in the ward disclosed their research to me. I have the opportunity to retire and be human again." I showed them what I saw.

  The disbelief washed over me. "Gabriel, do you believe that?"

  "Brother, you want to retire?"

  "I long to be human again. There is no need for our duty no more. The war is over, dangers can be dealt with by capable humans. And the emperor..." I looked at the throne, where sat a golden statue, covered in engravings and patterns. "He no longer requires our protection. We are a relic of the past. It is only reasonable for us to retire one day."

  The thoughts of Brother and Sister spun for a moment, unsure of how to react to my words. They felt fear, for my words were true. They felt disgust, for my words were a disgrace to the Holy Dozen. They felt compassion, for they too longed for the joys of a human.

  "It is not a matter to be swift about. I merely conveyed my troubling thoughts. The bodies of yours are patiently waiting the moment when your minds are ready. I know, my almost is."

  "That is understandable, Gabriel," said Holy Sister, "You were the first one. Your process was imperfect, and the transformation injured your flesh irreversibly. We accept your decision, whatever it is."

  "I may not feel the same way as you do, Brother, but your duty as a Holy Guard lasted long enough. One day I will comprehend your mind."

  "Thank you, Brother and Sister. I deeply appreciate your existence." I knelt, and the heavy hands landed on my shoulders, as both of them laid their arms on my figure. We stood like that for a moment, connected by mental threads, harder than any chains.

  Eventually, I stood up and replaced the Brother's position in front of the throne, holding the huge sword in my hands. Its pommel shined with ethereal radiance, the soul of my companion dreading the moment of our separation. Hastily I connected to the Brother, "Erm, Brother."

  "Yes?" he stopped and listened to what I had to say.

  "Can you ask the smart ones to prepare the adult body of mine for my arrival. And... Also find a way to reforge the Bloodstorm into some form of bracelet or pendant, suitable for a human."

  "Hmm... Sure thing."

  "Thank you, Brother." I watched him think for a moment and leave the palace.

  My actions could send ripples across the Holy Dozen. I could singlehandedly end the century-long project the Kingdom spent millions of hours on, but I did not care. I stood guard, motionless, thinking. People came and went, bowing to our might and brilliance, wondering about the wilted flower on my chest. I don't know how many hours passed, how many days I stood without flinching, submerged in a flood of thoughts. One night, two armoured figures entered the empty throne hall.

  "The Holy Sister, I came to replace your duty," announced the radiant voice. Eleanor was always beaming with joy, as if she was not bound to cold metal forever. She continued talking, "This is a throne hall, where we stand guard in front of the Holy Emperor's seat."

  That was unheard of. She was introducing the guard duty to a Holy Guard? Nonsense. We all were created decades ago, one after another. I focused my gaze on the other guard. His armour was blood-red with the same black and gold patterns, but more sleek, streamlined, like a plated protection of a human, even bearing a head, that rotated side to side, taking in the glory of the hall.

  "Who is it?" I asked.

  "My name is Corwin, sir Gabriel!"

  "Did you decide to shackle your soul in this metal wilfully? To what end?"

  "Gabriel! Don't scare the rookie!" Eleanor sternly told me. "Don't mind him. He was the first one of us, and he is already retiring."

  "I am serious. I don't want to burden the new generation to the life of metal prison."

  "Prison?" Corwin was visibly confused. "Oh, I was told about that, sir! I am in no prison, sir Gabriel. Take a look!" his armour hissed at the seams and its top began unfolding, layer by layer, like a blooming flower.

  The moment its helmet swung open, I saw a human... He wore a mask, supplying fresh air, around his eyes were traces of goggles attached to the helmet, and his gaze was... alive, beaming with eagerness and excitement. I looked at him, observed the myriad of wires and pipes connecting his fleshy body to the metal protection.

  "These smart ones..." I laughed. Joy filled my every strand of my being. No more needless suffering for those who entered the holy duty.

  "Smart ones?... Scientists? Yes, together with people from Terran Conglomerate and Conflux Republic they managed to make the new set of armour! No transformation needed, just a year of training or so."

  "You will stay human?"

  "Stay human... Well, I think so? It doesn't affect me I believe, the controlling happens with my body, maybe in a couple generations even Nulls could pilot one of these... Erm... If you want, I could show you more later. Scientists in the ward asked you to hurry back, the body you asked for is ready."

  "Thank you, little one. Please, take my post." I stepped away and, after completing the ceremony, hurried back toward the room with vats.

  I forcefully inhaled, a loud hiss accompanying every movement of my chest.

  Once again I was torn from the warm embrace of Divine Twins, pulled out of the eternal darkness. I was alleviated from my duty, released from my prison, the Kingdom's pride, freed from my burden. I weakly clenched my fist, felt the touch of the skin on the tips of my fingers. My eyes adjusted and I looked around. Like ants, smart ones were bustling around me. They monitored my awakening, felt the pulse in my veins, their cold hands leaving imprints on my pale body. They removed the mask from my face, and I slowly sat up and turned to the side, expelling the liquid from my stomach and lungs. My body... ached. Pleasant pain, the feeling I forgot decades ago, once again returned to me. I coughed and coughed, until the air mostly replaced the runny pink liquid. The scientists, as Corwin called them, removed the remnants of it with some basic magic, and I took a deep breath, for real this once.

  On a giant seat was my coffin, my prison, my armour. Like an immovable mountain, it towered over my feeble being, inspiring awe and fear with its mere soulless presence. I stood up, shaky legs struggling to bear my tiny weight, but I persevered and approached the metal giant. I touched the cold manasteel, felt every crevice and dent. Then, my eyes darted to the dried out stem in the chest piece. The memories stirred up again, dragging the feelings and emotions from the depths of oblivion that was my mind. I felt them again.

  I felt alive.