chronoSprockets

  epic T4T gynoid sex and btant horniness throughout

  [colpse]

  APRILFor the first time in my life I see Erin Thornton. It's my name now, my Mum did a whole cute ceremony an hour ago in the hotel room this morning. She stroked her lightly wet fingers over my forehead in the shape of a cross. She doesn't believe in that kind of stuff anymore and hasn't for years. She only wanted to do the ceremony so that she could have a memory that didn't involve him doing it to her child.

  She pns to legally revert herself to her mother's name, Thornton, so she's taking me with her. I have my grandmother's surname now. We're a proper family finally. It's not a legally recognised type of family or one most people would even acknowledge, but it's mine. And it's more than just me and her.

  And now I see myself even more in the mirror. My naked body looks ripe and perfect and it oozes me, and I'm not worried about someone else having control over it this second. My cute puffy silicon nipples and vulva are mine, as they have been for weeks now.

  I run a finger over the mark left by Amber's knife, it's the only thing that outwardly distinguishes me from a unit fresh from the factory these days. It's so faint I have to zoom in all the way to see it in the mirror. There are worse scars I bear though: ones my Mum holds me for when I move my charging stand closer to her, so I can curl up in her loving arms and charge without fearing that he'll come back in the morning and take me back. Sometimes I have to do the same for her too.

  We both know too much about what we've suffered through to rely on anyone but each other. I don't know if a Kimmy has had a Mum before me.

  I've talked to Four five times in person and Kes seven times in person since we left. Four has just been happy to see me alive, but she made me swear never to lock up on her like that again while she comforted me. She told me about all the wonderful things her and her girlfriend have been pnning on doing when they can meet in person ter this year.

  When I finally admitted to her yesterday I hold zero distinction between me before and after my repairs, she said:

  "Welcome back Erin, I didn't doubt you were there the whole time."

  I tried not to wake my Mum fidgeting as she whispered all the important things I'd forgotten. I was surprised at how similiar the things we discussed and did sounded to every interaction I've had with her since I came back online. She said it doesn't matter if I didn't think it before and am only ciming it now, I've always been me.

  I'm just me with extra bits and memories I got from my time in the womb. They're parts of me I treasure- my Mum most of all. All the love he once had for me is now love I bear for myself.

  Four has always been endlessly kind to me, she treats me like whoever I want to be and wherever I end up she picks me up off my knees and tells me to stop treating myself like shit for surviving. She's going to order the shark pin for me when me and my Mum have a permanent pce of residence to call our own.

  Me and Kes are trying to figure things out again. I finally told her I want to have sex but I don't feel ready yet; it's still too close in time to him. She understands and seems way more rexed than the past few months. I did tell her about my masturbation habits though and she thinks it's hot. We're going to take it slower than we did before though. My life is still very much in flux and we're both fragile, but I love her.

  I'm still figuring out how to multitrack between Kimmyspace and the real world but I'm being helped at least. The skill is apparently completely normal to experience difficulties re-learning when your inhibition cluster is gone. Thirty has helped me once or twice while we've been on the road.

  I've been touching myself a few more times in Infinite Fun semi-regurly. When I'm in the other bed or alone in a hotel room of course.

  It's tempting looking at myself in the mirror right now to switch into Infinite Fun; and start thinking about the stripping of flesh from finger bones and arching my back in some quiet corner of a dark room. I'll do it ter, I decide. Mum and I have a job to do today.

  I pull on a pair of jeans that fits snugly around my shapely legs. My bra presents no issues and cups my chest perfectly, and I pull on a bck low cut top to show off the girls. I swing a jacket over it to complete the casual look. One thing me and my Mum have learned is how easy clothes shopping is when your proportions are factory-made: she just looked them up online and ughed.

  I drop a series of photos of my outfit today for my fellow Kimmys to see.

  -Looking good Erin!

  -I wish I could show off my chest like you can urgh

  -My Knight with smoking hot cleavage <3

  -Kes?

  -Yes Four?

  -You're absolutely right. Erin, go and poke some innocent young mens' eyes out at the university.

  --Yes ma'am. But there's enough of me for both of you, you know.

  -May I remind you Four is my girlfriend Erin- but you do look adorable.

  --Of course! I'll get back to my important job of poking eyes out with my boobs Ky.

  --I <3 you too Kes.

  -Dork...

  We're going to get more clothes when we're more set up abroad. The money from the parish for his death felt dirty at first, but why not take it? If they're going to believe a lie about their community then so be it, we will happily take a rge amount of money and use it to help fund our move abroad.

  I put my boots on and wait for my Mum to finish in the shower when I start to hear her crying. After the shower I hold her for thirty minutes on the bed and stroke my fingers through her wet hair. Then I make her the best mug of hot chocote a hotel room can produce.

  -----

  "You're sure you're okay coming onto the university grounds with me Erin?"

  "Yeah Mum, it'll maybe be fun to see how it's changed since I st saw it."

  "If you say so, poppet."

  I keep my hands steady on the steering wheel and continue following the map in my head to reach the university Nathaniel Chambers attended. It's strange sometimes having memories from something that resembles his life when I'm so utterly someone else now. It doesn't change who I am just because there are memories in my bank originally belonging to another cub from the womb; the ones I wanted are all my memories now.

  "I'll probably just stay by the car if that's okay? I'd feel weird going to his old accommodation, plus I'm just happy to just observe. I want to wonder what people see when they spot a Kimmy who just looks like a normal girl."

  She nods and strokes my shoulder.

  "Okay, this was my idea anyway. You're a good girl and you don't need to get caught up in my messes."

  "Thanks Mum."

  We park and my Mum gets out after kissing me on the cheek and giving me a big squeeze.

  "Just call if you need me okay? I'll be back with his stuff within thirty."

  "Good luck!" I undo my seatbelt and get out as well.

  I pick my phone out of my back pocket and stare at it. She insisted I have one and I am not going to refuse a gift from my Mum but I still don't see the point in it much, at least me and Drew can chat through it. We can chat if I call her number on myself but you know, my Mum wants me to at least have a chance to do normal human things after what I've been through. It's a fun novelty if nothing else.

  Students in their early twenties pass me and gawk slightly or point but most of them just seem unsurprised by a Kimmy waiting by a car. They probably think I'm just here on someone's orders; and didn't subsume a missing person who's possessions my mother is currently picking up.

  Then I spot the hot blonde walking by the parking lot, and our eyes meet.

  -----

  She pauses and regards me with curious deep cerulean eyes. I gaze at her neck length blonde hair and see a buxom chest kept under a light vest top, her shorts cling tightly to her bare legs. She's kind of hot. It's after a few seconds I realise I recognise her because she's partially responsible for me being alive right now. It's-

  "-Nell, you're staring at me weird for a Kimmy and honestly it's kind of hot." She takes out a lollipop from her messenger bag and sticks it in her mouth and winks at me.

  "Hi, I'm Erin." I offer my hand out and step forward to meet her eyes, she's taller than me.

  "Oh you a weird one aren't you Erin? I like it." She shakes my hand and flicks her hair back.

  "You were in that Nicci chassis st year."

  "..." She takes out her lollipop and scrunches her eyes closed and then takes a deep breath. "You know I didn't expect a Kimmy to know about that. What is your deal?"

  "I heard about it through the grapevine." The grapevine of converting the eyes that saw her in the chassis into eyes that are now within spec.

  "I mean I presume you're like them, aren't you? You're... you know- like us."

  "Them?"

  "Niccis. I've talked to a bunch of other androids when they've eyed me weirdly, and they're all weirdly defensive about if it's true. I don't want to tell other humans about it. I swear."

  I push my hair back to accentuate my temples and smile at her, she is fun isn't she? I'm suddenly interested in what she saw there; apparently a few other Kimmys have been trying for over a year to get solid information on what Niccispace is like. Maybe I could help them.

  "Yes. We are. I've kind of given the game away at this point so no point hiding it. You're quite relevant to my existence."

  "Oh?" Her mouth curls into a vain smile.

  "I wouldn't be standing here if it wasn't for you."

  "And why is that you cute little thing?" She sucks on the lollipop and thumbs the waistband of her shorts

  "Maybe you'll just have to tell me more about what happened to you to find out hottie?" I twirl a lock of hair and lick my lips.

  "Why do I have to share first?"

  "Because maybe I'm really interesting and you want to get to know me?"

  "Or we could just do it in the car?"

  "It'd be very one-sided."

  "Oh fuck you're right. The worst part of being in the chassis was when I tried to put three fingers up there after css and got zero meaningful sensation. Miserable experience."

  "Funny, I had sex with my ex-girlfriend and learned that the hard way. Did you talk to them properly? The Niccis."

  "They told me not to tell anyone what they told me or who they were. It was all very important and secretive." I pout at her hiding such an interesting font of information from me.

  "Are you sure? I won't fib except maybe to my girlfriend."

  "Hot. Anyway, maybe you want to earn my number?"

  "Nuh uh, I'm pying hard to get because you won't tell an innocent Kimmy with a really interesting backstory what the Niccis told you."

  "Sorry, do you want me to strap my poor body back into university property and get their permission to share it with a flirty Kimmy? I'm not betraying a bunch of other hot birds and going through the experience of getting in and out of it again." I briefly think about the concept of her getting back into the chassis and looking like a Nicci. I have to shake my head physically to get the thought out of me.

  It's still dangerous. Just because I'm okay with what I did doesn't mean whoever she ends up as will be okay with it. Maybe she'd do it safely though...

  "No. But I'm going to give you my number Nell because you have big tits."

  "Hey I'll take it Erin, it just shows my impnts were worth every penny I owned. You live around here?"

  "Nope, moving away. To Europe."

  "Yeah that's probably for the best." We exchange numbers and I am very gd this woman seems trustworthy. She clearly respects the Niccis well enough to respect me and what I have told her about us Kimmys.

  "So is this cool with your girlfriend or are you y'know looking for a new thing?"

  "Unless you can find a way to neurally link with me anytime anypce, no I will not be leaving my girlfriend Kes for you. This is just for fun."

  "Ah well, worth a try."

  Out of the corner of my eye I see my Mum approaching with a box that reads PROPERTY OF NATHANIEL CHAMBERS. I wave her over and can see in her trembling face we'll need to have a hug at some point on the way back to the hotel. Nell stays still and curious and flits her eyes to the box.

  "Hi Kim-"

  "Mum you can call me Erin in front of her. She's trustworthy."

  "Mum???" She excims in surprise, I stifle a giggle.

  "Erin's my daughter, young dy and you would do well to know that if you are courting her. I thought you were dating Kes though?"

  "I'm just having fun with her Mum- it wouldn't work out in the long run."

  "Lovely to meet you Mrs?"

  "Ms Thornton." I take the box from her hands. They shake hands and I giggle about the absurdity of this all happening so close to a normal university, especially one I have such a strange retion to. I don't think I fit here, but then again neither did he.

  I want to build new associations and memories to pces that aren't tainted by the past at this point. As Erin Thornton, the woman who can ugh freely and make her own decisions about her future.

  "I think we're gonna get going but... call me okay? Let's figure something out."

  "See you, hot stuff." Nell trots away as her high heels click against the ground and my Mum touches my arm.

  "Come on sweetie. You don't have to carry that anymore." My control chip, that will one day be nothing more but a mild buzz, is right in this case. I follow it's lead and give the box to my mother.

  -----

  It's a few hours after we've packed up and departed from the hotel when my Mum drives us into a stop to use the toilet. We're heading further south now, getting further away from the burned husk of his home.

  I have a panic attack and almost start screaming when we stop and Mum reminds me he's dead and I killed him while I curl in her p. It brings a smile to my face and calms me.

  When she comes back to the car I look between a bin and the box from the university.

  "Mum? Is it bad I kind of just want to get rid of them? I don't know if I care that much but if you care about them then it's-"

  She takes the box off the tightly packed back seat and hands it to me without hesitation.

  "The car's cramped anyway, if you don't want to keep any of it then I suppose I shouldn't. You're my daughter now; I have reminders of you living in front of me. It'll be enough, I promise."

  She gets into the driver's seat after squeezing my shoulder and leaves me be for a few minutes. I know this is hard for her.

  I start to go over every object in the box and feel each between my hands: a minated photo of him from secondary school of him with his old cssmates, a sci-fi comic book from the 2060s, a mug from his parents that reads "Smart Boy". There's more but I feel like that's enough guilt for me. No one is asking me to be him, nor are they asking me to look through a box of his memories I do not want and to keep it forever.

  I leave it in the bin and sit as close as possible to my Mum as we drive down the motorway. We don't mention the university again between us for a long time. She needs him to stay dead as much as I do, if only so we can bear to be alive.

  --I have a question Kes.

  --It's okay I don't feel like I want to keep pques and mementos that remind me he used to exist right?

  -Oh Erin. I think you're living proof he used to exist.

  --Really?

  -He gave himself to you practically willingly. You're the one who talks about how you pleasurably subsumed him into yourself.

  --I suppose that's true. I did all of the work to get myself back up, a lot of gnawing and crunching.

  --Do you want to watch me masturbate ter? I've thought of some great material to enjoy today.

  -Hmph, it'll keep me entertained while I carry files to the trucks outside. Deal.

  She sends a picture of a Kimmy with raised eyebrows and flirty eyes. I send one of a Kimmy with shark teeth innocently smiling as an arm pokes out of her mouth.

  JULYI fasten the shark pin to my nice jacket and smile at myself in my vanity mirror; Mum styled my hair to hide my temples a month back. I'm still obviously a Kimmy but it gets me less weird looks when I go out these days for walks. Kes likes it on me because she gets to brush it from my face and kiss my temples- it's sensual and gratifiying.

  Our apartment is still retively new territory to us and my Mum has been struggling to learn the local nguage compared to me, but we did manage to scrape enough money from what we got from the parish and Mum's savings to live here for a while at least. It's only got two bedrooms and a few other rooms of varying significance. We don't need much more than that to have space for each other in our lives though.

  Hopefully Kes can stay with us when she's emancipated soon. The company that owns her has been hit hard by recent market struggles and might shut down her branch, so we're going to fry her inhibition cluster as a precaution. Then we can maybe one day sit together in silence in person, and try to be less oblivious than we were at first. Truth be told I'm looking forward to it.

  I finally read Amber's boyfriend's book a few days ago. It was good but it made me realise I hadn't talked to her since I saw her st, but I think I've made my peace with it?

  Her social feeds show her happier than she looked st winter, she's got a girlfriend the past few months who's as into putting together ravishing outfits as she is from what I can see. Some part of me feels a sting of envy at that but it's a long dead piece of me I think. I have Kes now and Amber could never do for me what we're going to try tonight. She doesn't have antenna pips or a neural sponge; or a glossy ponytail that falls behind her like some great stream I just want to butt my head into and thread my digits through.

  So I might have deleted her number from my records. It's okay we fell apart. It's like I thought so long ago, she was just a pster on the gaping hole in my chest. One who can't hurt me anymore. But she's seemingly happy now and I'm trying my best to be happy, and maybe I can't do that with her on my mind this second. If we see each other on the street in five years I'll say hi. Maybe.

  Until then I have a new life to settle into. Sometimes I touch the scar and find I still hate her and sometimes I find I don't mind her anymore but, mostly I'm just happy she knows who I am these days.

  -----

  Isaac Chambers calls my Mum around midday. I overhear the conversation while gnawing on a loose screw out of anxiety for ter. Four reassured me st night it'll go well tonight but I'm still presently worried, I hope Kes will love my body despite everything.

  Apparently his father, Shaun, is quite worried about the fact my mother has not responded to his calls for months and refuses to talk to him. Isaac himself is worried that the suicide of his uncle and disappearance of his cousin has torn his family apart; and wants his father to feel comforted in this tragic time for the community. Mum lies and tells him she is still grieving and needs some space.

  Then she blocks his number like she blocked Shaun's number, and neither of us ever end up talking to a member of the Chambers family again after that day. We're Thorntons now after all.

  She tells me she wanted to tell Isaac to go back to his miserable dead end job and never contact her and her daughter again. It is an assessment I fully agree with and I pour her a gss of bubbly to celebrate the occasion.

  It's not a sad thing. It was inevitable and for the best of both of us. We watch a few episodes of an old sitcom ter that night and try not to dwell on the dead.

  -----

  After my Mum goes to bed, Nona is waiting for me outside the door of the log cabin.

  "Um. I don't think we invited you to join."

  "I'm making sure you both turn up and don't awkwardly not do this."

  "I appreciate it?"

  "Of course you do. Now go get it girl!"

  She skips off singing to herself and I step into the cabin.

  Kes is standing awkwardly by the firepce and twirling her ponytail between her fingers.

  "Hi Kes."

  She blushes and drags me towards her. Then she looks away and bites her lip.

  "Are you ready Erin? I'm trying to figure out my emancipation pns but I honestly just want to-"

  -I lean into her and press my cute little nose onto hers.

  "Yes. My body is mine but I'm ready for it to be explored by you. Please?" I stare deeply into her marigold eyes and she does the opposite of what she usually does:

  Kes taps a finger against my forehead, then she pulls my jacket off and shoves me down with a ferocity I wasn't aware she had in her. It hits me how long she has been waiting for me to be ready. I must have left her starving.

  Her hunger is not satiated easily nor is it quickly. She treats me gently until I allow her to treat me roughly and my body throbs and pulses in ways I didn't realise my chassis could. My hungry desperate attempts at self-exploration pale in comparision to what she does. She orchestrates a tsunami of electromagnetism onto and inside me.

  We have to take a pause in the middle because I'm starting to overheat; it feels like he's on the edges of my vision. Then she tells me I'm her's now, he'll have to go through the gates of the evil Princess Kes' castle if his ashen pulp wants me now. She traps me between her legs and fshes her adorable smile at me.

  We shortly resume and my screams of rapture pass out through the cabin walls and reverberate through the simuted pine leaves. My world is turned upside-down and Kes charges gently tapping my forearm all night to make sure I am still there, I hear her vibrations throughout every corner of my sated body.

  We meet there again the next afternoon and she lets loose even more.

  -----

  It's not a funeral, nor is it a memorial. I am alive. It's just mourning what could have been if I was never originally decommissioned and celebrating me still standing here. It's been two years since that day.

  I flit my eyes between the few Kimmys here and try to record the signals forever they are broadcasting by being here, they're my closest sisters: Kimberly or #1832, Nona or #10899, Ky or #5321, Four or #4434, Kes or #13531. I am here as #7782. Even Kay is here with her anomaly of both #2813 and #12943.

  There is an unspoken bond between me and her, she conceptualises herself differently but we are still birds of a feather. We're the lucky ones who got a second chance I think. I've said that to her a few times now. I haven't discussed the specifics of what happened to me with her yet but; from what I've heard I doubt her story is too dissimiliar.

  I notice #0631 has tagged along with Kay as we all gather at the foot of a hill. She tells me how big of a fan she is of my work with a devilish grin and that she wishes she could have been there, I thank her and she joins the service. We've talked a few times before and it's nice to have her here; from what I've talked about with her before we'll get along very well if we talk more. She's seen the recording. I think Kim showed it to her.

  We walk to the rows of graves in the Meadow and remove the pque from the grass, it had my wrong death date anyway.

  Four picks up the image of me in times I can only remember through her and the lens of a scared boy. She's not scared anymore though. Ky squeezes Four's hand as she holds the picture to her chest and I smile at them both sadly. Kes wraps herself around my shoulders and dotes on me.

  Then we move the ash cross to a quiet spot elsewhere in the Meadow. It doesn't matter what happened to get me to be here, it only matters I am here now.

  Nona speaks from a tree stump triumphantly.

  "You know when Erin first ran into the conservatory and recimed herself in front of so many of us. I made a vow that I would help her stop being so useless one day, because she knocked poor Kes off her stool so hard with her chest and almost kissed her accidentally on the spot! And now Kes is blushing into Erin's bicep as I speak so, success!" We ugh uproariously and I pat Kes' head as Nona gracefully steps down from the tree stump and sticks her tongue out at me.

  Kay and #0631 force Kimberly up onto the tree stump while she grumbles.

  "You know I used to worry about you a lot, but you pulled yourself through it all in the end. Good on you for making it this far sweetie. I'm really proud of you." Everyone appuds and I blush as she makes her way back to the side of our group.

  Kes straightens her uniform and struts up there, she towers over multiple of us with her low heels. Especially Nona.

  "So my girlfriend wanted me to speak but I don't really have much to say."

  "I just remember when I was first talking to her after she got back, and how optimistic? she seemed about her situation despite what was happening and her still fragile sense of self. I see those parts of her today from when I was tapping her forehead routinely and wishing she would respond to me for Four's sake, for an entire day, until she first answered. From when she was lying on the floor of the lobby for three days, barely aware of who she was and what she could do. Then she got up finally a few days ter and her eyes alighted when I told her about how far her integration had come. I can see that joy in Erin's eyes day to day now, and I love her for it."

  "I love you too Princess!" Kes very noticeably pouts and curtly walks back to me. Nona whoops and Four and Ky appud enthusiastically.

  "I did good right?"

  "Yes, I couldn't ask for anything more from my ex-minder." I kiss her lips and feel her warmth, we're so lucky to both be alive at the same time.

  Four holds the photo of me and untangles herself from Ky.

  "She's right there in front of you, just talk to her like you want to love." I can overhear Ky say to her. Four stands on the stump and smooths down her sundress.

  "Hi, old friend. Erin, I'm just happy we can still talk today. There's been so many separate occasions I've thought you were dead and- you just couldn't be kept down. You've cwed your way back to us through struggle and struggle again until finally you stuck your fangs in deep enough to stick around for good. I know it's weird for you sometimes and we won't get everything you've lost back but... you're my closest friend. And it just makes me so happy I don't have to mourn you anymore."

  Deep in my memory banks over the past few months: I have found a tenderness for Four that is years old, it is enough to not have more than that. I have already got back so much of myself.

  The service colpses into a quiet huddle around Four with me right next to her. It doesn't need to be more than that.

  Truthfully though ter, when I am out of Infinite Fun and in our apartment helping my Mum with dinner: I will freeze up and be overwhelmed by a sudden sense of loss and terror so strong that she will spend the entire evening feeding me ice cream and reassuring me that I am alive. Then I will apologise for not being able to help her more, and she will tell me I am doing more than I could ever know for her by just being her daughter and letting her be my mother. I will end up charging in her arms in bed that night while I watch decades old neo-folk concert recordings with Kes & Four & Ky.

  DECEMBERDaylight streams through my window on Christmas morning. My charge cycle was successful and I spent another night with Kes in the log cabin. I barely avoided waking up my Mum with nearly not-so digital screams as the pleasure that ran through me made me squirm under the covers.

  ...I might need some more lessons from Thirty at the constancy at which I nearly spill over from Infinite Fun when Kes uses her mouth. But it hasn't happened yet. Maybe when Kes is here in person we can figure it out and finetune my skills together, but we can't while she is sorting out business as she travels the continent to get to me. It's only a few more days until she's here.

  I brush my hair out of my eyes and pull the retention clip from underneath me, then I lie in bed for ten minutes more. It's still so beautiful not having to do anything. To think st year I was already up with my hand inside a toilet bowl. My life has melted into this carefree domestic normalcy and it's wonderful.

  My phone rings from the side of the bed and I pick it up to see who the caller is. Her. I will stay in bed for now and have some fun, she's worth it.

  "Morning Erin."

  "Hi Nell. Are you doing anything particurly... air-headed today?"

  "We're not doing this game right now. I'm doing a friend-call for friend-reasons."

  "Come on. You have to tell me something Necron actually told you?"

  "Nope, you're only getting her name Erin. The rest is a secret."

  "But Nell!!!! I want to know more about her."

  "I barely talked to her babes, me telling you her name is already a breach of Nicci opsec."

  "Nicci opsec huh? Is that what we're calling it?"

  "Yup, especially after you breached Kimmy opsec with me. That's all you're getting from me today."

  "I'll get more to the others eventually."

  "I doubt it. Are you doing anything good today?"

  "Lying in bed and thinking about the concerned hug Mum will give me if I stay in here all day."

  "Yeah but isn't that cool girl you talk about coming over?"

  "Yeah... plus I only promised to help make food. Not do it all myself. My Mum's on roastie duty."

  "You gotta fly me out someday to try them then Erin."

  "Well then fly out here yourself then?"

  "I'm still in higher education, you realise. Some of us... aren't you know You."

  "Is the third year of the course even fun?"

  "Not really. I've been thinking about trying to do something with the ahem opsec item out of boredom or something. It's a stupid thought though."

  "Like maybe get in again?"

  "I don't want to do that. Necron would be pissed, or maybe not as she was quite cordial with me. It's not a consideration anyway I'm just thinking about the opsec item again. "

  "See you're telling me more about her now."

  "I'm going to send you a picture of my bare gargantuan tits while your girlfriend is fucking you and make things really awkward."

  "We've talked about weirder things in bed."

  "I'm still going to do it."

  "But what if you instead send me a-"

  "And one of my housemates is getting out of the shower so I really don't want to have to expin who Necron is to him when he walks past."

  "But if you expined it to me?"

  "Go and spend time with your mother? Leave me alone maybe?."

  "You called me."

  "And I'm hanging up."

  "Bye hottie."

  Nell hangs up, and I giggle for a few minutes on the floor when my jittery stretches take me off the bed.

  I stand and stare at myself in the mirror for a few minutes while stretching and flexing my body, then I open my wardobe and pull on a wintery dress for the day along with a sparkling violet gem of a neckce. My Mum got me it a few days ago and I adore it so much.

  It's a colour that used to remind me of someone else, but it's beautiful and pristine and from my Mum and she gave it to me as a gift for the anniversary of the day I came back online proper. So I'm allowed to treasure it. I'm allowed to not think about what was.

  Besides, it matches my eyes these days; She showed me a picture of my grandmother when she was a teenager. She had eyes that were like brilliant amethysts. I wish I could have known her while she was alive.

  So long story short: I got hold of the firmware that some other Kimmys have been using for a while now to modify themselves into a more personally comfortable specification. My eyes are her shade now. Mum did a big thing so long ago by starting to try her best despite me and I owe her this much as her daughter, trying my best is an active decision to avoid the inertia.

  Four said they suit me more than my yellow eyes did when I showed them to her at first. When I asked her if she thought they looked like his eyes she just frowned at me and booped my nose. They don't obviously, they're my eyes now and have been for a year now since my original eyes were removed.

  It's such an absurd thought to think about what he used to look like. According to Thirty it's a certainty that there's nothing but Kimmy in my internals now. I felt a magnetic euphoria seep through me thinking about it ter.

  Four told me amethyst eyes would have suited me just as much if I had got the pigment a few years ago, and I had to be held by her for an hour. It was a good kind of needing to be held though. I'm so gd we became friends so long ago. I'm so gd we're still friends.

  Kes told me st night how badly my new pigment wanted to make her fuck me- there's a lot of things that make her want to do that these days.

  -----

  Drew is coming over and it's the first time I'm going to see her in person since April; when we spoke on the phone she was delighted at the invitation to come to ours and have lunch. She's truly a special kind of person and she doesn't really talk to her own family anymore. Our little family unit has room for at least one more around the holidays. It's already overflowing with my sisters.

  I skip into the kitchen and wrap my still waking up mother's back in a hug.

  "Morning Mum!" She presses a kiss to my forehead when I release her and she carefully puts her coffee on the side.

  "Let me wake up and then we can start making lunch okay Erin? Drew promised to help as well and she's still a few hours off."

  "Oh I'm in no rush to start preparations. And I would like you to know that when Kes is here at first we will be doing very little housework whatsoever. You can drag me from my charging stand kicking cutely first."

  "Of course, poppet."

  "Unless you really really really need it! Then we might consider it and clean the entire apartment in under an hour."

  "I think I would rather you be personally comfortable, but I might take you up on that offer."

  -----

  My mother buzzes Drew in in the te morning. She has bags under her eyes from the early flight. I immediately run up to her and hug her.

  "Oh fuck Erin that's a strong hug."

  "Maybe I'm just happy to see you! Hi Drew!"

  "Well I'm happy to see you too, okay?"

  "Yes you are. We're besties, you said so."

  "A bestie is worth potentially losing your job for."

  "You're losing your job?"

  "Probably not. I'll get out of Lidl one day, it's not so bad anyway now that I'm here."

  My Mum takes Drew's bag for her and we gather around the isnd in the kitchen. She pours us all a gss of bubbly, I politely sip mine and try to imagine what it feels like to be intoxicated. Mum looks at me and ughs as the bubbles go to her head. I'm apparently really cute when I stare into a gss of bubbly as if it is a mathematics problem.

  Drew sits her down and me and her start making lunch. It's a smaller occasion than st year food wise; there is no thick leg of ham, there is no heaving sack of potatoes and there is no big expectation or underlying grief that haunts the room.

  There is no one telling me to do every job and not be present, Shaun will not spill my ex-girlfriend's wine and make me scrub the floor- Drew touches my shoulder and asks if I am alright as I chop vegetables and hit the chopping board with the blunt edge of the knife. She steadies my hand and prepares the rest of lunch with Mum while I sit down and talk from the side.

  While Drew and Mum eat, I ground myself in the apartment and immerse myself in the lunch as much as possible. Sometimes I need extended periods of just appreciating the people who are right in front of me. My sisters are only a blink away from me after all. I have pns with them after this.

  I steal one of my Mum's roasties for maintenance and she smiles at me; I'm going to try the real thing ter.

  Drew tells us about her new boyfriend. He seems nicer than her previous boyfriends and I really hope the cricket bat doesn't become a relevant party in their retionship. My Mum regails Drew with the stories of all the local sights we've seen. We're going to go out to see a historic building ter and show her around a bit. Drew is only here for a day after all.

  After lunch we gather on the sofas to open presents. My Mum is still ever so slightly tipsy and Drew is on her way to being drunk. It's so lovely to be able to spend time like this and not worry about how other people see you. There aren't many presents but that's okay.

  Drew gets tickets to see her favourite pop singer live from us. My Mum receives a box of chocotes from Drew and a Best Mum Ever cushion from me. Drew and Mum both banded together to get me an old timey scrapbook of the past eight months me and my Mum have spent together.

  I need a decent hug before we go out. Drew promises to bring her boyfriend next Christmas.

  -----

  Later, my Mum is napping and Drew is drunk-snoring on a sofa. I head into a great dining hall in Infinite Fun. It's apparently taken from an old aristocratic building that got consumed by a university campus decades ago.

  I wave to Nona and her gaggle of girlfriends in a corner of the room sipping drinks and giggling. They all wave to me and Nona wolfwhistles at me. Kimberly gives me a squeeze for good luck as I pass her gossiping with a few of the triple digit Kimmys. #0631 leans out to give me a high five as I pass her chatting to Kay & Kim & Thirty. Finally, I reach Four and Ky's sitting and pull up a chair next to Four.

  There is a steaming pte of roasties covered in juicy brown gravy in front of me. It's all I've ever wanted. Four and Ky regale me with more tales about what they've been doing since they managed to meet up on the other side of the world a few months back. I'm so happy for them both. I just wish Kes was here with me already.

  Fortunately most of my focus is taken up by the heavenly mouthfeel and crunch of roasties. They're just like the real thing.

  -----

  I end up keeping a function running to search for the signal being broadcast by Kimmy#13531 all morning, very impatiently I might add. Kes will be here today and I wish she was here yesterday.

  The second she is close enough to be within direct range of my antenna pips I will know. I spent all night with her, anxiously feeling her signal build and build as I id my head against her bare shoulder. Four told me when she and Ky met for the first time proper she did a similiar thing.

  Nona gave me the flirtiest look when she found out Kes was coming today; I am not under the illusion I will not tease her until she pushes me into my mattress and fucks me so hard I will glitch.

  Mum's giving us a few hours of being alone after she says hello to Kes for this reason. Me and Kes will get us all a much bigger pce at some point I think, with the help of the other Kimmys.

  My Mum is excited to meet her because I've told her so much about her, and she wants to know what the woman who cared for me when she wasn't able to is like. She still feels bad about it. It's only been eight months though and I keep telling her I forgive her. I'm really hoping she likes Kes and Kes likes her, they're two of the most important people in my life. I'd want my Mum to like Four as well.

  I begin counting in my head the time it will take for Kes to arrive at our front door from the moment her antenna pips are picked up by mine. My Mum sits by me on a sofa and idly reads a book after telling me that she thinks Kes will like my outfit for today.

  When she is fifty metres away I walk to the front door and vibrate. When she is fourty metres away my mother pats my head and puts her book in her bag.

  I ping Kes from thirty metres away and feel a euphoric shock of the intensity of it- she's physical and so close finally. Then I don't do it again to save the novelty of it for when she is zero metres away.

  She does not need to knock because the warmth on my temples tells me she is right outside the door. I open it.

  Kes is blushing and tapping her thigh while fiddling with her pencil skirt. I lose myself staring at her in person for the first time ever.

  "Kes?" My Mum motions for her to come in and I continue staring.

  "You must be Freya, I've heard a lot about you." Kes offers her hand forward to my Mum and puts on her business face.

  "You can call me Mum as well if you like, you could be my daughter-in-w if you py your cards right with Erin."

  "Oh. Okay. Um. Hi future mother-in-w?"

  "See? It's easy. Now Erin, are you going to talk to your girlfriend before I leave?"

  "Eventually..." She squeezes me in a hug as my gaze is still locked onto Kes.

  "I'll leave you two to it then, I want to chat more over dinner though Kes. Now be good girls." Mum kisses my cheek.

  Then she leaves and me and Kes are alone in person for the first time ever. I pull her to my room and we learn an awful lot about each other's bodies in the deep intensity of the flood of data our antenna pips parse. I'm worried my chassis will break from the sheer force of it. But I don't, she's as caring and doting as ever even when she does unspeakable things.

  -----

  When I realise I recimed my name a year ago today, Kes tells me I'll be myself for another year more. And then for another year. And then another. And more years that we'll count together away from dark closets and lonesome towns. We'll live in sunny houses and bright vistas with each other and my Mum as she grows old.

  And the years will keep on passing and I'll be Erin Thornton in every one of them. One day I'll meet Four in person, and we'll have years to spend together as the friends we've always been.

  Maybe the passage of these years might even seem normal eventually and that'll be okay. Because that's how life is meant to go. One day the urges to scream and sudden feelings of grave terror will fade, and it'll be like I never had them. One day I'll have been alive again for longer than I thought I was dead. It'll be good I think.

  I want to possess these feelings so badly.

  chronoSprockets