Thyssa walked into the Cavern of Yourself, mentally reciting Merryway’s warning: Don’t fight your reflection. As long as she kept that wisdom in mind, she had faith that she would not fail.
Just as with Merryway, the doors slammed shut behind her, drowning her in darkness. But she was prepared. She opened up her bag and brought out a purple, bioluminescent tumour – the last remnant of the malform she hunted for the Glurk. She held out the grim prize and used it to navigate the darkness. The cavern was filled with the echoing sounds of her own footsteps.
Thyssa ventured further and further into the darkness, the whole time waiting for an attack from some wraithlike creature wearing her face. She didn’t know what her reflection was doing, but she knew what she’d do, and that was lie in wait until just the right moment to strike.
But the attack never came. Her unease grew more and more until, eventually, she came across another light in the distance. The exit? Could it really be that easy? Perhaps Merryway was wrong about this part – they did, after all, get their knowledge second-hand. Or perhaps, just as she lacked a Mind’s Eye, she lacked whatever it was that let this place conjure reflections - there simply wasn’t enough human in her to reflect. She liked the first explanation better.
She pressed on towards the light, until she saw it came from the surface of a huge, ornate mirror gripping onto the cave wall. Close up, she could see the light slowly, subtly shifted in colour and intensity – now pink, now green, now bright, now a little dimmer. It reminded her of the Benevolent Heart.
Thyssa wanted nothing to do with the strange device, but it was set up blocking the only way through – the only way to get to the Goddess Fountain. She breathed deeply. She’d survived the first two trials. But those were with Merryway’s help. She steeled herself. She had Merryway’s help. Their advice. Just don’t fight the reflection, and she’d get through.
She closed her eyes, gritted her teeth and walked past the mirror, each step echoing around her.
Clack…clack…clack…clackclack
Too many steps. She turned around and her blood went cold.
Just as she’d expected, she saw herself, wandering freely outside of the mirror. But it was herself as a malform, hissing and shuffling towards her.
“You were expecting a pretty girl?” the malform taunted her.
Thyssa scoffed, trying to hide her fear. “I was at least expecting my actual reflection.”
“Oh, but this is your actual reflection. This is you.”
“This is an illusion. A trick of the mountain.”
“No. I am the real you. You are the illusion.”
“I won’t fight you.”
A wet, sickly laugh. “You’ve been fighting me since you took the Benevolent Heart.”
“I’ve healed myself, and I come here to be healed again.”
“You call this healing? Look at what you’ve done to your family. Your real family, not the perverted doctor you sold out to.”
Thyssa searched for a clever answer, but she couldn’t find one. But then she realized she didn’t have to. She turned her back on her monstrous reflection and walked towards the exit.
She heard her own footsteps, but then another sound - a wet gurgling sound she knew all too well. She dropped to the ground as a jet of acid shot out, hitting rock, dissolving it.
This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.
Whatever this reflection was, it could kill.
“Did you think you could avoid yourself?”
She rolled to dodge another jet of acid, then sprang to her feet just in time to jump away from a third shot right at her feet.
“You won’t win just by dodging.”
“I don’t want to win. I want to make peace.”
“Because that’s what this place is for, right? That’s what Merryway told you?” The reflection lunged for her and she leapt aside. “You knew this mountain wasn’t made for people like you. Did you really think you’d solve this like all the humans did?”
“I have faith that I can.”
“You had faith Lili wouldn’t betray you. You had faith your pack wouldn’t betray you. What do you think Merryway will do when they learn what you really are?”
“What I really am is a human. I came from humans, I take a human form, and I will die with it.”
“You certainly will,” said the malform, leaping forth maw-first. Thyssa jumped back and the malform’s teeth sank into the rock, tearing it apart like dry wood. She couldn’t keep this up forever.
“I just want to make peace,” Thyssa repeated.
“There is no peace between us, because there is no peace inside us. We’re nothing but the humans’ filth.”
The reflection had Thyssa cornered. It leapt at her, jaws first. Thyssa thrust her sword into its mouth at an angle, jamming it open.
Thyssa ran from herself as her reflection hissed and raged at this obstacle.
Thyssa laughed. “Weak horizontal jaw. I always got them stuck on things as a kid.”
The reflection gurgled up an acidic foam, dissolving the sword.
“Don’t laugh at what you were!” it hissed. “It hurt!”
It spat another jet of acid at Thyssa. “I know!” shouted Thyssa, jumping away from the acid as it burnt a hole in the cave. “I never forgot what it was like.”
“You say you don’t want to kill me, but you get rid of everything about me!”
“I am you! You wanted this! All I did was get rid of -”
“The what?” spat the reflection. “The flaws? The flaws are all we are! Which flaws did you want removed?”
It slashed at her with its claws, Thyssa dodging only by a hair each time. “My body?”
Slash!
“My pack?”
Slash!
“My own mother?”
Slash!
“We’ve been through a lot,” said Thyssa. “But I never forgot.”
“You forgot one thing,” said the reflection. “Never face me unarmed.” It charged at her, smashing into the cave wall.
“For the last time!” yelled Thyssa. “I’m not trying to kill you! We’re the same thing!”
“One of those is true,” said the reflection. “This is the last time. You are without your acid, without your health, and now without even your sword. Will you waste your last breaths on lies, or will you beg for a quick death?”
Thyssa’s heart couldn’t take more of this – not with the venom. And the reflection showed no signs of wanting to talk. Was this really it? Despair clawed its way into her mind.
“You think you don’t choose violence? You chose violence your whole life.”
“Because I had to,” said Thyssa. Because the world had given her no choice. It wasn’t made for people like her, and neither was this trial. She picked up a sharp rock the size of her hand.
“Then choose violence again, one more time. Either way, I go down fighting.”
“Sorry Merryway,” Thyssa whispered to herself, tightening her grip on the rock. The reflection tensed up to pounce, but this time Thyssa stood her ground, aiming. The reflection leapt and she threw her rock – not at the creature like her, but at the thing that forced them to fight.
The rock crashed against the mirror, its beautiful glowing glass smashed to pieces. Just as the reflection was upon her, it smashed to pieces as well. Just like herself, her reflection could not exist without its device.
The pieces faded into smoke as Thyssa caught her breath, tried to process all that had just happened. She wanted to throw up, but she steeled herself – it would take too much out of her.
Thyssa took a single shard of the mirror to remember her fallen self by. The mirror shard cast its own light. She placed the bioluminescent tumour on the ground and buried it with rocks. It wasn’t needed anymore, and she suddenly couldn’t stomach using parts of her kin like they were common beasts. That disgust wasn’t her culture – Grendel Pack used malform parts all the time. That was her.
With the mirror shard to light her way, she trudged down the path out of the now-empty cavern. Her whole body felt heavy and weak, and she knew it wasn’t just exhaustion, or even the poison. With great effort, she reached reached a green pair of doors and shoved them open, closing her eyes at the bright sunlight.
“You did it!” shouted Merryway. But her excitement was short-lived. “Thyssa, are you…alright?
Thyssa shook her head.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
Thyssa looked down. “I can’t.” She sighed. “We’re nearly at the top. Let’s get to the Fountain.”
