Taeho:

  I slept badly and woke with thoughts of Anya still lingering in my mind. I figured, after some much-needed rest, I’d shake it all off, but the after-effects of yesterday’s shower still have me gripped. I really shouldn’t be surprised. It’s not like I can erase what happened yesterday. It’s not like I can push away the memory of her at will. That incident on that flight happened and her hugging me happened. She’s real, and she was right there in front of me.

  I take a steadying breath before turning over in the hotel bed to face the sunlit window. The simple chore of closing the curtains must have slipped my mind along with everything except Anya.

  Even now, my thoughts drift back to the sight of her cleavage and I sense the usual morning lift of my sheets. I don’t have time to repeat last night’s shower episode. Not now. My drive down the coast is going to be hours long and I can’t distract myself all day with thoughts of her.

  I swing my legs off the mattress and sit on the edge of the bed to check my phone. Not realizing I’d left it on Do Not Disturb all night, I’m hit with an array of messages. Whatever arousal I just had quickly dissipates when I see who texted me.

  Right. Eliza.

  I decide to call her instead of texting back.

  “Hey love, how was your day?”

  Even though it’s morning here, she’s just getting off work.

  “Did you just wake up?” she asks. I must sound groggy. “I was wondering when you were going to call. You didn’t even message me or anything to say you’d landed safely. What happened?”

  Her questions hit me in a barrage, and it seems a bit much even for me. She’s not usually this much of a worrier.

  “I had a long flight and went straight to the hotel to sleep. Sorry I missed your messages. I was pretty tired afterwards, and I must have forgotten to turn of the DND status,” I say. It’s not a particularly sympathetic answer, I know, but it’s not like she’s the type to keep tabs on me normally. She also knows I’m only here for a week.

  “You could have texted me at any point. Business class flights have wi-fi, you know. Why do you always do that?”

  “Do what?”

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  “You never keep in touch properly when you go to Korea. You leave me to worry every time you fly out. I just don’t get you sometimes. It only takes a minute. Don’t I matter enough to you?” I’m not sure why she’s acting out. It’s unusual for her to worry this much, but I suppose when anyone flies thousands of miles away, anything could happen. But I get a sense there’s more to this.

  “Elie, you have my tracker on your phone, and I leave it on just for you for times like these. You can see where I am. Always,” I say calmly.

  Her sigh comes through loud and clear, and it aggravates me. “I just don’t get why you can’t contact me. I want to hear your voice.”

  I can tell she’s pouting and it’s started to make me pissed. “I called you now. Isn’t that good enough?”

  There’s a moment of silence before she continues. “Fine,” she says. “How was your flight then?”

  Her tone is sour, and if it was anyone else I would hang up. She’s not often the moody type, but when something annoys her—usually something trivial—she expects me to make her feel better and I’m not in the mood. So, I tell her the flight went fine, omitting the part about Anya—for obvious reasons—and end by telling her what time I’ll be in Haebyeon tonight, and this seems to appease her.

  I wind up the call with a quick, “I love you.”

  The only reply I get from Eliza is, “Next time, call!” before she disconnects abruptly.

  No “I love you” back? Strange. There’s no doubt that something about that exchange felt off. I just wanted to hear her voice and tell her I missed her, but she sucked the fun right out of that.

  I’ve always been committed to Eliza, so why do I get the sense she’s further away from me than just the miles I’ve traveled? The whole conversation felt so off.

  After the call, it doesn’t take me long to freshen up, dress, and head out to collect my rental for the long drive ahead.

  I run my hands through my damp hair as I sit behind the wheel, and as I head out of Incheon my thoughts consume me.

  It’s been like this for a while. This vague feeling that things aren’t quite right. I suppose I’ve been assuming that because we’ve been in a relationship for a while, we’re going through a sort of stagnant phase and our wedding would reignite the spark. Especially come the honeymoon, when we’d finally have some much-needed alone time. It’s been a while since I’ve had her all to myself. Our schedules hardly ever match up. She’s constantly with patients—great for her practice, I know—and I’ve been putting in equally long hours at the clinic. I was looking forward to finally slow down. And after the wedding our lives should be more settled.

  Life in America has been great, but it’s been so fast paced—what with finishing our graduate studies and then building up our careers. We’ve both been working so hard to reach this future “comfortable life” that, at some point, something’s got to give.

  I’m probably over analyzing this too much but I can’t ignore that feeling either. There’s a niggle at the back of my mind: Is she really “the one”?

  This question has been resurfacing lately and since I met Anya on the plane… I’ve never had my thoughts wander to another woman this much before. Not since before I met Eliza in college. Since then, my heart has only belonged to Elie—she’s my whole world, my rock. Thinking about it now, I’m not even sure why I didn’t marry her sooner. Once I get back, things will be better, I’m sure of it. And our marriage… it’s the right thing to do. It has to be.

  ?Sky Mincharo