Anya:
My hands grip my knees as I gasp for air. It takes me a minute to catch my breath from my run. I watch the coral-coloured sun rise over the sea from the beach below the village. There are two wharves at each end of the cove and I can’t help but admire the beauty of the scenery. It’s my first time in this beautiful country and I’m only now realizing how little of it I’ve actually explored. So far, my mind has been consumed with Taeho. Even now I’m a stone’s throw away from his home and all I can think about is how much I’d love to be sharing this sunrise with him.
I flop down on the sand for a moment and take my shoes off while I breathe in the fresh morning air of this tiny fishing village. I need to clear my thoughts of yesterday—push them to the very back of my mind. I’m not here for this, am I? I have to focus on my course as a distraction from my woes of home. Although, I have been distracted, just not by the course. I haven’t thought of Lucas in a few days, which is new. But can it last? Will I be able to stop obsessing over the past? If I’m honest with myself, last night helped with that. A lot, actually.
I’m lost in thought, when I feel someone tapping me on the shoulder.
“Is there a chance you’re avoiding me this morning?”
Is he actually smirking?
“Oh… uh…” Taeho’s presence somehow makes my mind go blank and I’m at a loss for words. Is he going to bring up last night? Oh god.
“I saw you were out here, and mom said you hadn’t had breakfast so, here.”
He hands me a travel mug filled with what smells like freshly brewed expresso. I hesitate before taking it as I don’t want him to see how embarrassed I am.
“Don’t worry. I don’t plan on getting into last night if you don’t want to,” he smiles wryly, taking a seat next to me.
Oh god. He brought it up. I turn away from him feeling my face flame red hot.
We don’t speak for a long moment as I sip from my mug, letting my embarrassment subside. I stare off into the sunrise, contemplating what I could possibly say to make everything all right, when I realize I’m actually enjoying our shared silence. He seems at peace watching the view, and I watch as his hair is ruffled by the breeze.
Before either of us bring up last night’s thing, I break the silence.
“Did you get hold of your fiancée again?” I ask.
“Ah,” he sighs, running his hand through his hair, trying to tame it. “I’m not sure that’s in the cards anymore.”
This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.
“Oh? Trouble in paradise?” I whisper.
“To be honest, I’m not sure if it’s been paradise for quite a while.”
Not only does his response surprise me, but I’m also now a little worried about where this conversation might lead.
“So, you are cheating on her?” I mean this as a joke—trying to lighten of the mood.
Luckily, he catches my tone and even though his gaze is still locked on the distance, one corner of his mouth crooks up. I can’t help but melt. Every time he smiles like that, I get butterflies.
“After last night, I can understand why you might think that, but I swear I’ve been nothing but loyal to her since day one.” He pauses. “But now, I’m starting to think the fight that happened yesterday was maybe something else… Something I don’t want to think about.”
“Oh.” I pause. “I think I know that feeling.”
“So, you agree? That she’s projecting?”
“It really isn’t my place to say anything,” I reply.
“No, please. I’d like to know your thoughts.” He finally turns to look at me. “Your perspective might help me find some of my own right now.”
I turn away again to avoid his penetrating gaze. This is getting really personal, but it seems only fair to give him a little of my story in return.
“Well…” I pause. “My ex was really possessive and paranoid. He was always watching my every move and blowing up over stupid stuff. In the beginning it wasn’t so bad. I actually found it endearing at first. I was such a fool to fall for it, though. In hindsight, he was suffocating me more and more every day. Eventually, he wouldn’t even let me go out with my friends. I found it easier to do as he asked in the end. I thought marriage would solve things—make him feel more secure. Of course, it took me until then to realized he had his own secret life going on behind my back.”
“Jesus,” he says before turning back again to the salmon pink sky. “Did he… hurt you?”
I take a deep breath, as those old emotions resurface.
“Not physically. But mentally and emotionally, yes.” I tremble and stay quiet. If I say any more, I’ll risk completely losing it and divulge an even bigger secret.
“I’m sorry,” he says, concern laced in his voice.
“It’s life, I suppose.” When I register his look of concern my eyes well up.
“Maybe. But it shouldn’t be your life.”
“Too late,” I scoff, breaking eye contact.
We both go silent for a moment, and I wonder if he’s somehow disappointed in my life choices. It’s not like I’m super experienced with relationships. How could I be—I’m only in my early twenties? How could I have known what kind of man he was? Lucas had me totally fooled.
And anyway, Taeho doesn’t seem all that confidant in his own relationship right now, so he can hardly judge me, right?
None of that stops the tears from rolling down my cheeks.
That’s when Taeho asks softly, “Would it be OK if I put my arm around you? You look like you could use a hug.”
I look at him in surprised. I know I shouldn’t accept but it’s a kind thought, and after last night, what does it matter? I mean, it’s just a hug, right?
“Sure,” I mutter through trembling lips.
As soon as his arm reaches around my body, I sink into him. I seem to fit perfectly in the crook of his arm, and as he hugs me tighter, I feel a sense of calm wash over me. Then, when I pick up his warm woody spice scent on the morning breeze, and taken back last night and the images of him naked in the shower flash through my mind.
I really shouldn’t be doing this. I shouldn’t let him hug me like this. I shouldn’t want it either.
?Sky Mincharo