“Magic is tied to the soul. There are few wounds so terrible as wounds to one’s soul.”

  -Unknown

  Raziel felt the very core of his being plucked like a guitar string. Not so long ago he’d fantasized about hearing words like that from his grandfather.

  “Are you serious?” It was the only thing that he could make come out of his mouth.

  “Yes. I copied a few pages from your father’s book while you were still recovering. Now that I’ve had a chance to look into those notes there are several locations that your father spent a good deal of time at that I would like to see for myself. I’ve only begun to piece together what he was getting at.”

  If Duriel had said this to Raziel a year ago he would have leapt at the chance. But now things were different. His whole world had changed so much. The night Peritura burned was an axis on which his life had turned almost as much as the night his parents had disappeared.

  “I know it’s a lot,” Duriel said, when Raziel stayed silent. “You don’t have to answer this very moment.”

  “I’ve got to decide today. I have to tell Hiro if I’m going to continue my training or not by the end of the day,” Raziel said, almost in a whisper. Duriel gave a slow nod, understanding.

  “What’s holding you back?”

  “I don’t want to leave my friends behind,” Raziel answered immediately.

  “Well, bring them with you. I don’t know about the Keira girl but we could probably convince your friend Miles. He seems like the type to enjoy this type of puzzle. A strong hand like Roland’s will certainly come in useful. And Hoeru will follow you anywhere.”

  That last stung. But it did make Raziel think of something.

  “What about Sumi?”

  Duriel stroked his beard in thought.

  “Well, she’s an interesting one isn’t she? But she was only found because of your father’s writings. It could be she has a part to play in all of this.”

  “So she could come with us?”

  “I don’t think it would be very hard to convince Basil to part with her. He’s not sure what to do with her himself as far as I know.”

  Raziel bit his lip. He wasn’t sure how to contact Roland and he was absolutely sure that Keira would say no even if he asked. Miles would probably go along with it. And he was sure that if Sumi came with them Hoeru would come as well. That would at least let him keep three of his friends.

  Raziel shifted in his seat, his seemingly endless collection of sore muscles protesting even that small motion now that they’d been at rest for a few minutes. He rubbed at his legs trying to push the soreness away and felt a twing in his hand. It would be so much easier to just go on an adventure with his grandfather.

  He turned his hand over and rubbed at his palm gingerly. The scars were still there from when he’d shattered the gem that Kusa had given him. He hadn’t been strong enough then. What if something else happened in one of these places and he wasn’t strong enough again? What if this time he lost Miles or Hoeru?

  Raziel’s eyes went to Duriel. The old man seemed like a rock, unmovable, unchangeable. But Raziel knew he wasn’t truly invincible. He could disappear just as quickly as Raziel’s parents had. And nothing in the world would hurt like losing him.

  “Give me some time. I’ll come back tonight and I’ll have an answer for you.”

  Duriel nodded and that was that.

  Raziel didn’t know where to go. He couldn’t stay on the ship. The temptation to say to hell with it all and just go with his grandfather no matter what the consequences was too much. If he stayed, that would make his choice for him.

  So instead he walked the paths of Kawanowari. Other students saw him and, as they had a week ago when he was first walking to the school, they often paused to watch him as he went. But he barely noticed them. He just kept walking.

  He wanted to go with his grandfather. There was nothing in the world that he wanted as much as to know what had driven his father to pursue the flying city that had eventually stolen him away. The need to go burned in his chest like he’d swallowed an ember. And yet the more he walked, the more he felt the pains in his body, the more he knew that doing so, that giving up, would mean irrevocably changing himself. And he didn’t know who that person would be.

  The world passed by in a haze until he looked up and the morning had gone and the afternoon sun was high overhead. He was beside a small river, which was unsurprising. There were small rivers and creeks along almost every path in Kawanowari. There was also a small root from one of the nearby great trees that looked perfect as a bench.

  Raziel wasn’t sure if it had grown that way naturally or if someone had used magic to shape it like so many of the bridges in the area. Either way he was grateful for it.

  The moment he sat down his stomach rumbled. It had been hours since his light breakfast. He needed to find something to eat. His first thought was of going back to the school but he wasn’t entirely sure he could find it again now that he’d left the general area. The next possibility was going back to the ship but he still wasn’t ready to face his grandfather.

  All he wanted was some food. There had to be a restaurant or something somewhere nearby. The moment the thought occurred to him, it was like someone had opened a veil in front of his eyes.

  He was still, in fact, sitting on a curled root by the trickling river. However, there was a table formed by another root in front of him. There were more root tables and seats around him, several occupied with students of different schools though most of the customers seemed to be regular elves as they lacked the distinctive student uniforms.

  “I was wondering if you’d notice,” Hiro said, from just behind Raziel’s shoulder. Raziel jumped, startled. Hiro’s sharp angled face split into a smile that was surprisingly warm.

  “Mind if I sit?” he asked. It struck Raziel as strange that Hiro felt the need to ask but that strangeness was gobbled up by the oddity of the suddenly appearing restaurant like a thrown pebble disappearing into a stream.

  “Uh, yeah. Go ahead,” Raziel said, still taking everything in.

  “So, what’s on your mind?” Hiro asked once he was seated.

  “Food I guess.”

  Hiro smiled.

  “That is the best way to find an elven restaurant. But that’s not what your face said when you sat down.”

  This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version.

  Raziel stayed silent. Around him and Hiro there were hushed, polite conversations. The river babbled and burbled and the sun shown through the tree leaves, leaving everything dappled in gold. And Hiro waited patiently for Raziel to respond.

  “Can Sumi stay at the school?” Raziel asked finally.

  “What’s a Sumi?”

  “The girl. With the hair.”

  Raziel puffed his hands around his head in imitation of Sumi’s cloudy white hair. Hiro just stared at Raziel.

  “You saw her on Basil’s ship. She was there when we were saying goodbye.”

  “Yeah, I was not paying that much attention. It doesn’t really matter. Why do you want her to come to the school?”

  “Because Hoeru doesn’t want to leave her. She… She doesn’t do well without him.”

  “Why not?”

  “I don’t know,” Raziel said earnestly. “She’s not a normal girl. She came out of an egg.”

  Hiro narrowed his eyes and cocked his head in confusion.

  “I’m sorry, what?”

  Raziel rubbed at his face. He wasn’t sure he should tell anyone about how they’d found Sumi. But then, if it was important not to, surely someone would have told him not to, right?

  So Raziel told Hiro about Peritura. He told him about the fort he’d found in his father’s journal. He told him about Kusa, Mask, and the egg that Sumi had come out of. He told him that Sumi had saved his life and let him save Hoeru’s. Raziel even told him how he’d killed Kusa.

  “If I thought you could make that up, I’d think you were a liar,” Hiro said when Raziel finished. Raziel shrugged. That seemed fair.

  “So can Sumi stay at the school?”

  “I don’t care.”

  Raziel blinked at that.

  “That easy?”

  “Sure. Hoeru already asked. I just needed to hear more of your reasons.”

  “Wait, you talked to Hoeru? Hoeru wants to stay?”

  “Miles too, actually. Miles told me this morning. Hoeru came back to the school about an hour ago. I need to talk to Basil again to make sure he doesn’t have a problem with me taking care of the girl but I don’t expect that will be an issue. But you still have to decide if you want to stay or not.”

  Those were too many revelations all at once. Raziel had been sure that Miles would just go along with whatever he did, not make the decision for himself. And Hoeru had asked about Sumi first? It was a relief to be sure but Raziel couldn’t help wondering what had prompted the changeling to do so. But the really difficult thing was that it placed the full weight of his next decision on Raziel. He could probably convince his friends to come with him and his grandfather. He wouldn’t have to fight with them to get them to stay here. And he knew which was the harder road to take.

  An elf came by and set a bowl of steaming noodles in front of him. Raziel’s stomach growled but it was pain more than hunger and he didn’t move to touch it. Hiro, meanwhile, tucked away into his own bowl with enthusiasm.

  “I don’t know if I can do it,” Raziel said finally.

  “Do what?”

  “Get through training. I’ve never done anything like this. This is so much harder than I thought it would be. And I’m so much wea-“

  “Stop,” Hiro said, thrusting his chopsticks at Raziel.

  “Stop what?”

  “For the moment, you’re still my student no matter what decision you make. So I’m going to teach you something,” Hiro said, around a mouthful of noodles. He took a moment to savor the food and swallow before locking eyes with Raziel. Raziel leaned away instinctively from that gaze.

  “Are there limits to what you’re capable of?” Hiro asked suddenly.

  “Of course,” Raziel said, surprised at the simplicity of the question.

  “So you can’t do more than you’re capable of.”

  “I… I think so? That doesn’t make sense.”

  “Right. So you can only do what you can do. Which means you decide how you’re going to label what you can do. You are who you decide you are. You will be who you tell yourself you are. If you’re weak, it’s because you choose to be.”

  Raziel pondered that for a while.

  “Ichiro said you don’t want students.”

  “I don’t.”

  “Then why did you take us?”

  “I took you because I thought you needed training. I took your friends because you need them and they need you.”

  “But you don’t want to train us?”

  “No. I don’t want to deal with it. It’s a pain. And you don’t even know what you’re asking for by coming here.”

  “So why are you training us?”

  Hiro rolled his eyes, exasperated.

  “I told you. You need it. But I’m not going to do it if you don’t want it.”

  Raziel fell silent again. He stared into his bowl of noodles as though it might contain the answers he really sought. There was another question, beneath the others. Because in the end it hadn’t really been about whether or not Sumi could stay, whether or not Hoeru would stay at the school, or whether or not Hiro wanted students. Hiro had put his finger on it. It was the one thing that Raziel was afraid to face. But if nothing else, he was sure that Hiro would be honest with him.

  “Am I broken?”

  “Broken?”

  “I can’t do magic anymore. And when I could, doing it hurt. I don’t know a lot about magic but I know it’s not supposed to hurt. And I’ve just been getting weaker and weaker all week. Am I broken?”Hiro stared at Raziel.

  Raziel thought the elf would start laughing again. But he didn’t. His scared face was serious and warm but without a trace of humor in it.

  “Raziel Re’del. You are not broken,” Hiro said firmly and very gently.

  “Then what’s wrong with me?” Raziel blurted out.

  “You’re injured you idiot. People get injured all the time. You just need to heal.”

  “But you’re pushing me so hard. I don’t have time to heal.”

  “No, kid. I’ve been pushing you so that you will heal. It’s the first step in fixing what you’ve done to yourself.”

  “What?”

  “It’s not your body that’s injured. There’s a reason you can’t use your magic right now.“

  “There is? Why?”

  “I can’t tell you.”

  Raziel considered throwing the bowl of noodles in front of him at Hiro.

  “Why not?”

  “Because that really could break you. Or at least damage you. Magic is all about what you believe. It’s about what’s in here,” Hiro said, reaching over the table and poking Raziel in the chest. “If you find out the wrong things at the wrong time when you’re developing your magic, it will change how you see it. It’ll change how you see yourself. So, I’m not going to tell you why you can’t use your magic right now. I’m only going to tell you this. You will be able to use it again and when you can, it will be stronger than ever.”

  “If I keep training.”

  “If you keep training.”

  “What will happen if I don’t? Will I go back to it hurting?”

  “Probably. At least for a while. But the problem would likely heal on its own eventually. It could take a few months or a few years but eventually you’d probably go back to something like what you were before.”

  “But not the same.”

  “No one ever stays the same kid,” Hiro said, and something in his voice was terribly sad. “Right now, you need to decide who you are. No one else can do that for you. Once you’ve done that, we can get to work making you into who you can be. If you want it.”

  Raziel’s eyes fell back onto his untouched noodles. Eventually, he picked up his own chopsticks and started eating. They were silent for the rest of their time there. When they were finished, Hiro paid for the food and they left.

  Raziel knocked on Duriel’s door and waited. The afternoon was slipping towards evening outside. Once Raziel had made his decision he’d still had to go back to the school for something before returning.

  Duriel answered the door and seemed surprised to find Raziel standing there. Before Duriel said anything Raziel thrust something into the old man’s chest.

  “This is a loan,” Raziel said, more deadly serious than perhaps he had ever been in his life.

  “What-“ Duriel said but Raziel cut him off.

  “This is a loan to you.”

  Duriel had reflexively covered the thing that Raziel had pushed towards him and only in Raziel letting it go did the old man see what it was. An old leather bound book, so stuffed with old, yellowed pages it looked ready to burst.

  “This is not a loan to anyone else. Don’t even show it to anyone else if you don’t have to. I’m trusting you with this.”

  Duriel cradled the book in his hands like it was a child, like it was his child.

  “I understand, Raziel. I will take very good care of this. I promise you.”

  Raziel nodded solemnly.

  “And you’re going to give it back in one year.”

  “One year?”

  Raziel nodded again.

  “Hiro talked to Basil. He says that either he’ll have me ready for whatever Basil wants me for in a year or I won’t ever be ready. So you’re going to bring that book back to me in one year.”

  “I see,” Duriel said, a smile curling beneath his beard.

  “And it’s a loan so you’re coming back with interest. I don’t just want the book. You’d better find something out.”

  Duriel grinned and it was one that was unfamiliar to Raziel. He’d never seen Duriel grin that way. But if any of his friends had been there, they would have seen a remarkable resemblance to Raziel in Duriel at that moment.

  “You can trust me. I will.”

  Raziel came up out onto the deck where Hiro and Basil still stood. Sumi was there as well, standing close by to Hoeru looking as if she were going to leap on him if he took so much as a step away from her. Hiro and Basil were still talking. Hiro was laughing. Even Basil had something that could have passed for a smile on his face. But the pair still stood a very careful distance apart and neither of them took their eyes off the other for long. As Raziel came up the stairs the pair were drawing their conversation to a close.

  “So, I guess I’ll see you in a year, Raz,” Basil said, but his gaze made it clear the statement was really intended for Hiro. And that sparked something in Raziel.

  Raziel stepped between Hiro and Basil and stared at the sky captain until Basil was forced to look down at him.

  “Remember what I told you,” Basil said. Raziel gave him a slow grin.

  “Basil, in one year you’re going to come back here. And you’re going to ask me to join your crew.”

  Raziel didn’t wait to hear any response from Basil. He simply turned and walked away. Raziel couldn’t see it but a look passed between Hiro and Basil. Hiro shrugged and turned up his hands as if to say, ‘what can you do? Teenagers.’

  But Basil didn’t look frustrated. His eyes gleamed with anticipation.