Everything at the Spring was ostentatious. From streets paved with gleaming white stones to jade and emeralds everywhere.

  Everything except the building I was currently facing down. That’s not to say it wasn’t beautiful; there was true craftsmanship in the carved stone pillars, and the murals simplicity of clean lines and wide swatches of color attested to a steady-handed confidence.

  All things I thought I hadn’t ever really paid attention to throughout all the years. The shadows along the walls, like all those here at the Spring felt too warm and distant. But I was also all too aware of my connection to that otherworldly presence.

  Back during my coming-of-age ceremony, I’d let it in. All the work that Phaeliisthia had helped me with controlling and making the power mine hadn’t really mattered in the end. This was more than just an unfair punishment, it would be my reckoning. I could feel it.

  Because this building was ancient. Older than the rest of the Spring and situated at the highest point of the plateau. And it was soaked through with Jaezotl’s power to the point where my skin and scales itched.

  I didn’t mean to forsake Jaezotl. Didn’t feel like I had. Probably wouldn’t matter though.

  And worse yet, as the orange of evening faded to purple and the few people still near this place gave me increasingly strange looks, I realized I was out of time despite slithering here as fast as I could from sparring with Farula.

  I had to go now, or I’d be late.

  So I slithered inside, held my face into a rictus of a smile, and tried to ignore how much I wanted to claw my skin off like a bad shed.

  Where the outside was elegant, the inside was beautiful. I’d have appreciated it any other time, but the eyes of every one of the seemingly hundreds of serpents painted and carved into the walls, ceiling, and floor seemed to follow me. Every glint of emerald jewel or rich-toned paint followed me as I moved.

  The building wasn’t small, but I didn’t know where to go in it. Prayers, ablutions, sacrifices of meat, grain, and magic, all were served and more.

  “I told you not to be late.”

  I tensed, ribs throbbing as I coiled suddenly. Ussyri Tahaksa slithered out from behind a column. Her robes, silk and gems and a faint glow that had to be magic, clashed with the earnest beauty of the uncomfortable shrine.

  “I got lost,” I replied, talking fast so my tongue wouldn’t stumble.

  The ussyri glanced outside and frowned. “Come.”

  Her tone brokered no argument, so I followed her into the building. The place wasn’t too large; just one short hallway and we stopped at an entranceway. Steam wisped out from behind an obscuring wall and I could taste warm water and oils on my tongue.

  Not bath oils. Harsh, astringent oils. The Ussyri bade me enter first, not bothering to hide a sneer.

  Inside was a small bath, and a steaming depression off to one side. Two ssyri’ssen, ssyri’zh probably, coiled in simple robes. They’d been chatting softly until I entered, something about dinner. On the floor by the steaming bath was a simple wooden bucket.

  Unlike the straight-backed Ussyri Tahaksa, these two looked… bored? Then again, despite where I was and the building I was in, the room was… normal. Except the hot spring or magic that heated the water, the walls were largely unadorned stone.

  It all felt… routine.

  Then one if the pair did a double take, looking at me more closely. They elbowed the second one, and together they bowed.

  “In here we are equals under Jaezotl,” Tahaksa said icily, slithering in behind me. “This one is just another who must repent her vulgarity and aggression.”

  Immediately, the pair straightened back up, tensing. Even I could feel that the atmosphere in the room had changed.

  “So how does this work?” I asked. The scale-prickling intensity of this place made it hard to stay still.

  “You will coil here and recount your failures,” Ussyri Tahaksa said, interrupting one of the other two here. “Then you will promise to amend, and how.”

  I blinked. I could do that, no problem!

  “Then you will be washed clean.” She gestured to the bucket.

  An involuntary shiver ran down my back all the way to the tip of my tail.

  “For the severity of your offense, the water will not be warm.” Ussyri Tahaksa moved her hands and the dense heat of the room was replaced by a deep, chilling cold.

  It felt nice, actually, and for a moment the prickling sensation abided. Only for it to return with a vengeance the next moment. I clasped my hands in front of me just so I would not scratch at myself.

  Ussyri Tahaksa moved to stand between bath and bucket. “Out loud, Issa.” She gestured to the two ssyri’ssen. “I will be performing this ablution myself; you are excused.”

  The pair looked at each other, then left in a hurry. The second one out the door, the one who’d caught on to what I was first, nodded their head at me.

  Did… they feel sorry for me? I gulped. Now it was me and Ussyri Tahaksa alone in a room. Worse than that, not only did I not have my powers if something went wrong—never mind that she was one of the few people I couldn’t fight with impunity against—but I couldn’t do anything that might risk her finding out.

  “I see you shivering. If you cooperate, this can be over shortly.”

  I wasn’t cold. Something else gripped my heart and my eyes darted from bath to bucket to basin even as I slithered over and coiled in place.

  Next to me, Ussyri Tahaksa grabbed the bucket and lowered her upper body above the basin, dipping it in. Right now I really wished Phaeliisthia’s spell wasn’t dormant under the Spring’s barrier.

  This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.

  I wanted to tell her I was sorry.

  Not for anything Ussyri Tahaksa wanted me to apologize for. But for reaching for too much too quickly. What mastery I’d gained during my years as her pupil had all been for nought the moment I’d thrown myself into the presence’s damn waiting arms… tentacles, whatever.

  But she hadn’t given up on me, even now. She’d broken a millennia-old treaty and given up her estate with its vast collection of scrolls and art and its garden. The moonflower grotto—she’d given up that to save my idiot scales.

  “You must speak your crimes aloud, Issa.” Tahaksa’s voice cut painfully into my thoughts.

  The fact that my powers were currently hiding and seared away was a good thing, else I’d have knocked her into the bath.

  “I…” I started, voice soft. I wasn’t about to apologize for any of the shit I’d done that the bigot looming over me deserved tenfold. But I had to say something, so I might as well apologize for what I could.

  “I didn’t listen, not really. I was scared, but that doesn’t excuse it. When it mattered, I made the wrong choice. Still, you’ve given me a chance. So I should take it. Make it my own. Show that I’m not going to break under my own failings, that I will learn and grow and take back control.”

  The temperature in the room dropped. “Be specific, Issa.”

  I continued on, ignoring the pest in the room. “I will get stronger. I will protect my sisters, just as they continue to save me from losing myself. Selfishly, I ask you, Jaezotl, to give me a chance I do not deserve. To not smite me for my failings so that I may prove my unwavering loyalty to kith and kin, to the Empire and to you.”

  As I continued on, I focused on these feelings. On me and Kyrae and Ssiina. Like what I’d done in the moonflower grotto all those years ago, I tried to seize my powers for myself. Even dormant, I could feel the shadows just a little.

  They tingled like feeling returning to a numb arm, not quite burning despite the sanctity of this shrine. And the itching across my scales intensified, like some part of my body itself was still numb. Something foreign, something that wasn’t quite me… That I’d let in that awful night.

  The shadows where I held them didn’t quite burn under Jaezotl’s protection. Out in the hallway, two someones were approaching: one elf, one lamia.

  Was the room always this cold?

  Half mumbling, I continued speaking as I focused. “To that end I will reflect, study, and train every waking moment until I can make myself whole once more.”

  Something I couldn’t put my finger on hovered at the edge of my perception. Like I was about to grasp whatever it was that I needed to even as I sensed the bucket of frigid water coming up behind me. Already I could feel it sliding down my scales like acid.

  “Issa…” a voice behind me warned, the rest of its words lost.

  But in the darkness, whatever idea I was chasing kept slipping out of reach. The small shadows in the corners moved to my heartbeat now, flickering the light behind my closed eyelids. Two people were entering, and quickly.

  I felt the first drip of water, and it burned like I’d been struck.

  “Ussyri Tahaksa.” It was the Ea’Ssyri’s voice. I hadn’t even heard her come in. “Stop this immediately!”

  The bucket above me twitched. Another few drops fell, hissing as they hit my lower body’s scales. Please don’t notice.

  “Stop what?” Ussyri Tahaksa replied. “I am merely performing an ablution for Hssen Issa’s disrespect of the Temple’s authority.”

  Ea’Ssyri Thelia slithered closer, but even as I opened my eyes I kept them squarely on the damp stone. “Kyrae, Ssiina, and Eis told me everything.”

  The bucket twitched again; mercifully I was not splattered. But each drop that landed next to me felt like a dodged knife. If she were to dump the bucket now…

  “Then you should know of Issa’s insubordination.” The ussyri’s voice was strong, but my shadows could see her tail-tip twitching behind her.

  “Insubordination against who: the Temple, or you?”

  “The Temple, of course.”

  Ea’Ssyri Thelia made a noise that was somewhere between a hiss and a barking laugh. “Does the Temple teach such inequalities? Does the Temple promote blind obedience?” Behind the Ea’Ssyri, my shadows could see the blurry outline of Eis in the doorway. She was coiled tensely, but her weapons weren’t out.

  “The Temple…” Ussyri Tahaksa’s voice was shaking now. “Does not promote disobedience in the face of reasonable orders.”

  “So you consider those orders reasonable then?”

  “They follow tradition. Yes. And the estates given are the nicest for ea and lamia that were available. As you know, all are equal under the—”

  “If they were equal, there wouldn’t need to be separate houses, would there?” Ea’Ssyri Thelia practically roared, and I could feel magic coming off her. Not sigilcraft, but pure power. Ussyri Tahaksa pushed back with a more organized defense, but she lowered the bucket and I finally took a breath.

  “There are physiological differences—”

  “Enough,” the Ea’Ssyri’s voice sliced through the cloying magic. “I’m not even going to remark about the dismissed attendants or the dangerously cold water. There is no point in arguing when neither of us actually seek to change minds.” She exhaled, suddenly sounding tired and I looked up. Ea’Ssyri Thelia looked a mess: hair mussed, clothes damp from the shrine’s moist air, and eyes that looked as tired as the worst night on our trip here. “Your appointment here was against my advice, and you clearly know how powerless I am to remove you. But I am not so spineless, so inept as to let you mistreat our empire’s royalty.

  “If you pour that bucket of freezing water on Hssen Issa, the Jii’Ssyri will hear of it, the Jii’Hssen will hear of it, and her sire will hear of it.”

  Ussyri Tahaksa didn’t drop the bucket. “I-I am making judgment as is well within my right. Had Hssen Issa such a complaint, there are better actions than verbal assault.”

  “Does such an act deserve foregoing normal ablution procedure?”

  “It is within my judgment to—”

  “Her sire is Hssen Tyaniis.”

  The bucket hit the floor, and I leapt to get away from the splash, scales skidding on stone. It felt like ice! When I breathed out again, I could see it, even as the sensation of cold retreated along with my focus on my magic.

  “I-I see. Then—”

  “I will perform the ablution,” Ea’Ssyri Thelia said. “With water at the proper temperature. You are permitted to watch, should you wish.

  “No. I trust you to carry out the rite, Ea’Ssyri.” Ussyri Tahaksa lowered her head. Not enough in my opinion, but the exhausted Ea’Ssyri didn’t mention the slight.

  Without another word, Ussyri Tahaksa left, stopping at the door where Eis was waiting before slithering off down the hallway.

  “I’m not gonna apologize,” I said. It came out less sure than I’d have liked.

  “I won’t ask you to,” the Ea’Ssyri replied. “Eis, are we secure?”

  “Just a moment!” I could feel an array settling into place. “We’re good. I’ll keep watch out here just in case.”

  “I saw what happened when the drops hit you.” Ea’Ssyri Thelia examined my eyes. “The spell is fading, but it will hold until your return to your sisters. You are very lucky there are those in power who are confident in your strength of will. At the very least, you are not a complete pushover.” A tired smile forced its way onto your face and she picked up the bucket with a wave of her hand.

  Warm water slid down my back before I could say otherwise, soaking my clothes. A moment later, a warm breeze dried them. “If you were fully gone, you would not be coiled as you are now.”

  “I’m tired of this.” I stared down at my hands, clenching and unclenching them. “I’m tired of always needing to be saved, of being told what to do and where to go. I want to decide things on my own, damn it. What if you weren’t here; what if my sire didn’t have her reputation?”

  “I… don’t know, truthfully,” the Ea’Ssyri replied. “As for how you feel trapped?” I was still looking at my hands, but I got the sense she was staring up at the ceiling. “Sometimes, it feels like the higher you climb, the only thing you get is a bigger cage.”

  “That sucks.”

  “Yeah, it does.”

  “Someone should change it.”

  “Mhm.”

  “I’m gonna change it.”

  “I look forward to it,” Ea’Ssyri Thelia said softly.

  I looked over at her in shock, but all I saw were tired eyes and twitching lip corners. “Can we leave now?”

  “Another few moments. She’s going to complain to the Jii’Ssyri about this, openly. Let’s not give her another thing to accuse me of.”

  I scooted further away from the still-cold bath. “Why did she even get her position?”

  The Ea’ssyri sighed. “Jii’Ssyri Lassena was only narrowly appointed. Those who oppose her are staunch traditionalists.”

  “So the people who hate elves?” I interrupted.

  She laughed mirthlessly. “Among other things. Ussyri Tahaksa’s appointment was a concession to silence criticisms and also to sequester her away from foreign-facing duties.”

  I blinked. “Oh. So it’s all dumb politics.”

  “Yes, Issa. It’s all dumb politics.”

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