Day 8 :

  Dear diary, I am really trying.

  But what do you want me to do when my foolish parents wish to share our last 2 days’ worth of water with our neighbors.

  Food can be scavenged, but where is water?

  The only option is the shop that appears when you get close to the portal, but I did not even get the chance to disclose this information as it is now surrounded by goblins.

  I wonder what is actually going on in those little brains of theirs.

  Maybe I should just kill the neighbors, it will make things better.

  However, after a heated debate, I did not need to resort to such dramatic options.

  Dramatic… it seems I am still sane.

  Indeed, my sister and grandmother agreed with me and opposed my father’s dumb idea, as my mother did not want to make this “hard” choice.

  As we left the house and assembled all the neighbors, and after they asked when we would share our food, my father delivered the answer we had agreed on.

  And as expected, as expected…

  This makes me laugh so much as I remember the hysteria, the screams, the pleadings but also the curses that the neighbors managed to spew.

  It quickly degenerated into attempted murder.

  A crazed father tried to choke my progenitor.

  An idea crossed my mind, maybe I should let him die, till now all his decisions proved to be nefarious to us.

  But I said it before and I will uphold my words: I am the better man.

  And I can’t say no to some fun.

  I gouged out one of the attacker’s eyes, as he let go of my father and slowly ejected all of his body excrement, I dragged him by the hair into the old couple’s house flailing like a crazed beast.

  I warned my family to go back inside all the while threatening the neighbors and the now traumatized family of the man who I would make sure would face hell.

  I closed the door of the house behind myself, locking it and not bothering to lock it as I heard hordes of goblins rushing up the stairs.

  I dragged the now begging man to a spacious living room.

  I honestly spent a good while staring at him, planning my next actions, the way to slowly torture him, to enjoy the moment.

  But also, not forgetting the approaching goblins.

  I knew one thing for sure, I couldn’t destroy his remaining eye, a man not seeing the horrors being done to him would suffer less.

  I started with something classic that I wanted to try since forever.

  I broke every single finger of his, then put them back in place, and oh they moved.

  I could feel a fire burning inside me, being fueled by the screams of the poor parasite.

  I could hear his children cry through the walls, making this whole ordeal even better.

  But as I looked at him, then at my hands, I found myself disgusted not by him or his entire kin like usual, no.

  I was disgusted by myself, not for the actions I had just done, but for what it meant, I was lowering myself to such a level, to play with such disgusting and dirty toys.

  I aspired to be a better man, a greater man but everything inside me screamed of rage as unthinkable horrific thoughts crossed my mind.

  Nonetheless, I took a deep breath, focused inward, focused not on those dark thoughts nor the bright ones, but simply on myself, what I wanted, and torturing this man was not what I wanted, maybe erasing his entire race was something I planned, but torturing one single man was not the plan.

  Still, small steps at a time, I am not gonna transform into a saint overnight and a few more experiments never killed someone, probably.

  I tried ripping his arm off his body, but it seems I lack the strength to do so.

  I then went around the kitchen looking for a knife.

  Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on the original website.

  Returning to the room with the crying, broken man, I cut one of his fingers as spasmed and produced one more pig wail, what a sweet sound.

  I fed him his finger.

  Then looked at him in the eye, stared at his only eye, making sure he would imprint my face in his soul so that whatever death may bring, I will always haunt him.

  Honestly, except for trying to kill my father, this man must have been one of the nicest countrymen of mine, but on this matter, on my disgust for my compatriots, no exception, I allowed myself to be purely emotional and not rational, small steps.

  I put things to an end, as it had only been less than a few minutes and the goblins were still outside.

  As life left his body, my rage lessened.

  The road to healing was long and arduous, but I was willing to undertake it.

  I took the knife and waited next to the door, if they tried breaking my family’s house door, I would bait into this house and probably find some corridor to face them one-on-one.

  But as fate deemed it, I will see the sun rise another day coupled with all the responsibilities that rested on my shoulders maybe I should rename myself Atlas...

  The goblins just left after snooping around the main hall, I waited for one hour where I simply meditated.

  Then, I returned to my abode, the eyes of my family not judging me, simply terrified at my sight, I do understand them, I just did things not even a butcher or criminals would lower themselves to execute.

  I am probably amongst the worst humans to have walked on this earth, human…

  But it brought me not just a temporary pleasure but also knowledge of myself.

  I just did the vilest a man could do, torture a father barely a few meters away from his children.

  I would lie if I said I did not feel a bit sad about those children, but as I see it, they will probably die by tomorrow.

  At the moment, I did not forget the poor women that I locked probably dead by now, their survival up to day 7, was a mystery to me, maybe the goblins fed them.

  I won’t say: when did anyone care about me? Because I see this world in a way unique to myself, at odds with societal norms.

  I did not explain myself to my family, instead, I asked them about their advancements in stats.

  My father had some stats higher than me by 3, obviously only the physical ones.

  My sister and mother did not fare better, she had some stats equivalent to or lower than mine.

  I guess I will have to sneak into the goblins' makeshift camp by myself.

  But that is tomorrow's night ordeal, and everything could change in a matter of seconds in this new world.

  During my meditation, as I heard my inner voices, I knew one thing some of these were not mine.

  I was not manifesting a double personality, no, it was something else.

  I can’t put words on it.

  As I write this and think about it, it was like a voice trying to tempt me.

  No different voices tempting me to do vile, good, foolish, all kinds of actions.

  Okay, there must be a problem with my meditation or with me.

  Probably the second one.

  I also went around checking the pregnancies, and to my astonishment, the goblins were born, worse they had fought between themselves and ate the losers’ mothers and bodies.

  I killed most of them.

  I say most because I found a peculiar group of goblins, followed by a spirit.

  Yes, a spirit, barely 8 days since the end of the world as we knew and already spirits have began spawning.

  The achievement of even noticing the spirit was probably due to my perception or intelligence, as I did not see it or hear it but instead felt it, simply knowing it was there, and when I focused on its presence, I could hear it.

  It was one of the goblins’ mothers, her love for her children despite the hell she went through was commendable, I conversed with her, and she also conversed with her fledgling.

  She told me the monsters too had a system.

  I was interested in all this new spiritual experience, so I told her how to train physically for her goblins but also to meditate for herself maybe, she still had a system.

  I put my unreasonable hate of the people of this land aside and genuinely tried helping her, I warned her about the goblins outside.

  She would also be a great help in documenting the goblin's stat evolution and growth.

  Now that I think about it, a memory from a few days ago resurfaced, that creepy goblin, I did not find his body nor did I see him in the camp from my window.

  Where was he? I am 90% sure he is not a spirit, because I saw leave walking on the steps.

  After further thought, the probability went down to 60%, maybe he was a weird goblin evolution, still, ignorance is bliss, I will not dwell further on this matter as I am more focused on the water shortage.

  I left her with some instructions and important advice, do not approach humans.

  Having to write all this in the middle of the night makes me regret holding this diary, but it helps me remain sane.

  Hopefully tomorrow I won’t be as atrocious as today,

  Will I again dream of the penguins tonight?

  I dreamt of another blissful life of mine, one where I had a childhood worthy of me.