The grand hall of the capital was filled with an air of tension, as if something monumental was about to happen. The grand double doors creaked open, and in walked Loraine Lionheart, her golden hair shimmering in the sunlight as she dramatically flung her cape behind her, making an entrance that would put any royalty to shame.

  “For justice, we stand strong!” she proclaimed, striking a pose that could have shattered mountains if only the rest of her party didn't look so utterly unimpressed.

  Behind her trailed her party: Saint Aurelia, practically glowing with ethereal light, trying to hide the fact that she was holding a fainting Jelani in her arms (who had just, and very dramatically, fainted for reasons unknown), Sirael adjusting her glasses while trying to avoid staring at her own chest, and Rhea Thunderstrike, who marched with the kind of intensity that could rival a thunderstorm, albeit for no apparent reason.

  The group made their way to the king’s throne, and the report began. Loraine wasted no time.

  “Your Majesty,” she declared, throwing her hands out dramatically as though she was about to reveal a great secret, “we bring dire news about the Demon Lord... Fujino Tetsuya!”

  The king raised an eyebrow, his interest piqued. “Dire news? What do you mean, Hero Loraine?”

  Loraine nodded solemnly, as if she had just revealed the fate of an entire kingdom. “He’s… he’s been farming.” She paused for effect. “In the most disgusting way imaginable.”

  “Farming? Farming?” The king's confusion only deepened.

  “Yes!” Loraine continued. “He’s got this land, this... farm, where he spends his days planting things. And do you know what he calls it? ‘Demonic Agriculture!’”

  The king squinted. “That sounds... ominous?”

  “I KNOW, RIGHT?!” Loraine screamed. “It’s horrifying! We’ve spent days trying to track him down, only to find him… dancing in his underwear in front of an apple tree, as if he’s performing some sort of ritual. He even wore camouflage face paint! He looked like a boss fight in a video game, just staring at the tree while doing this ridiculous... wiggling thing.”

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  Saint Aurelia gasped. “Oh dear! I... I don’t know if I can take it anymore.”

  Jelani, still dazed, muttered something under her breath. “I’ve seen a lot of things in my day... but that... that was... tragic.”

  The king’s eyes flicked over to the fainting Jelani, and then back to Loraine. “So... he was just... farming?”

  “No, no, Your Majesty!” Loraine shook her head in disbelief. “It was worse! He was naked!”

  Saint Aurelia gasped louder this time. “Naked!?”

  “Absolutely naked,” Loraine clarified. “And he didn’t even care. He had a leaf covering his... well... his manhood.”

  “WHAT!?” The king’s eyes widened in horror. “Why did he—”

  “He even made candle sacrifices!” Loraine interrupted. “There were two candles on his head while he was shaking his butt at the tree, shouting, ‘I am the harvest lord, witness my power!’” She lowered her voice. “The man is... completely unhinged.”

  “Unhinged? I think this might be an understatement,” said Jelani, rubbing her temples.

  At this, Sirael adjusted her glasses, peering over at the group. “Actually, according to my calculations, the probability of this scenario is statistically… extremely low. It’s highly improbable for a Demon Lord to engage in such... horticultural rituals.”

  “What does that even mean?” Rhea interjected, slamming her fist into the ground. “Just tell me where to punch and I’ll take care of this nonsense.”

  Loraine paused dramatically. “But that’s not the worst part.” She took a deep breath, her face suddenly solemn. “I—”

  Jelani groaned. “Don’t tell me it gets worse…”

  Loraine slowly turned to face the king. “We lost two days tracking him down, and after all that… we still couldn’t get a replacement for him. The guy’s left us high and dry. His farm is now his new ‘calling,’ and he’s apparently too busy growing his apples to even consider being a Demon Lord again.”

  Jelani groaned louder.

  The king’s voice was filled with exasperation. “Are you telling me that the Demon Lord quit... to become a farmer?”

  Loraine raised her hands to the sky. “YES!”

  Saint Aurelia, now visibly shaken, covered her face with her hands. “I just can’t understand it... The sacrifice he made... for fruit.”

  Jelani, finally recovering, muttered, “This is ridiculous. How can a Demon Lord just switch careers like that?”

  “It’s too ridiculous,” Sirael added, adjusting her glasses with precision, but her voice was tinged with disbelief. “And now, the Demon Lord of Farming... is just out there... naked and waving his arms around.”

  Rhea cracked her knuckles. “This is an outrage! I’ll bring him to justice!”

  The king, now facepalming, sighed deeply. “I— I don’t know what to say.”

  And just like that, the Hero Party’s report turned into a swirling storm of absurdity. Each member of the party, from the still-fainting Jelani to the overly-dramatic Loraine, added their own ridiculous twists to the story, while the king could only watch in complete and utter disbelief.

  By the end of it all, the king simply muttered to himself, “I think I need a vacation...”