EV B2 Chapter 33:

  She was no warrior. She didn't have the strength in her arms of the Valkyries I'd seen. Yet there was something else in the way she carried herself—a quiet strength that belied the frailty of her form. Her hair, a deep shade of brown like the rich loam of the outside worlds, cascaded in soft waves down her back, catching the cold glow with an unarmed warmth.

  Her eyes, alight with reflected torchlight from the arena stands below, danced with youthful defiance. They bore no ennui of long battles nor the hardened stares of the women around here who had seen too much. Instead, they brimmed with eagerness, belief, and excitement for what lay next over the horizon. The wind of Valhalla and the weight of the dead who dwelt in it had not yet crushed her spirit. And if I had any say in it, they never would.

  Though the shadow of the futile struggle we all faced—the endless climb higher in Valhalla—might never cease, it would not touch her. I had failed her once already. I would not fail again, as I promised myself.

  Yet, despite her youthful eagerness, she was not naive. No one who truly made it into Valhalla could be. That, though, didn't change the lightness she carried—something weary and broken souls, like the one I was so close to becoming, could not hope to match. A hope I had no right to feel. And yet, she gave it freely.

  To look down on her was to feel something stir inside me that I hadn't felt since I had last seen the face of my daughter and felt her gentle touch upon my cheek as I faded from my first life. Something that maybe was better left buried. That paternal instinct. That desire to see the world burn, to commit heinous murder before allowing it to so much as touch her.

  I had always seen Alana as a bit of an adopted daughter rather than the fiancée she was supposed to be. But perhaps, if Valhalla was a little bit kind, I could protect her where I had previously failed. She was a reminder of everything that I had left behind—of what I had fought for in the last moments of my first life, of what I had tarnished in my last acts.

  Though I would fight for it, and though I was sure everyone would fight for her, Valhalla would grind her down, as it did to everyone here. But for now, she remained untouched—a rare, fragile thing in this vicious place of battle and blood. Still, I clung to the fool's hope that, of all things, perhaps she could endure.

  Just as suddenly as the uncharacteristically poetic haze that had descended upon me came, it broke. She moved from the entrance of the arena and up to the stage. As my eyes tracked her, I understood what I was feeling, but my thoughts were my own again.

  As she stepped up onto the dais, she scanned the crowd, looking around eagerly. I was tempted to raise my hand and wave, but I didn't. Her gaze passed over me a few times, and she looked slightly crestfallen. I was certain she was looking for me. But at the same time, I didn't dare risk drawing too much attention to myself—and her by proxy. She might be sad now, but I would see her soon.

  An image of the battle she had with her instructor flashed in my mind. She must have been setting all sorts of records for passing. Alana simply stood there, a glow of magic surrounding her as she chanted words. Her instructor fell to her knees in some sort of display I couldn't understand. Alana had always been smart—far too brilliant for her cloistered life as a medieval duchess. But this was something else.

  There was a viciousness in her gestures and her words that reminded me of how she had died that first time, in decisive action for someone so far away from violence. And I remembered that she did belong here in her own right. As much as it seemed like she should have been in some other afterlife—one for those who were bright and merry and just and kind, not this bloodthirsty and hedonistic place—she did have a place here.

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  And, well, I didn't know what her other choices were, but if she came here because it was where I went—well, I wasn't sure if I was ready for that responsibility. But I would do my best.

  The end of the ceremony pulled me from my stupor, and I sat up, rushing out of the arena as she disappeared back into her tunnel. I knew there would be an orientation, and then the new groups would leave the arena, heading to the newbie house with their tokens. I was sure Alana would be with them. I didn't imagine that she wouldn't be, and she might be feeling down, thinking I hadn't come to watch—but soon, that would be rectified, and I could take her somewhere.

  I knew she had received Loki's blessing, just as I had. Well, maybe not just as I had, but that would explain how she got out of the lesser hall so quickly. I just hoped she didn't have to pay too much. Still, my initial thought was to take her down to Loki's restaurant, but I wanted some time with her by myself. Maybe it was selfish to not want to share the finest dining place with her just yet, but if I took her down there, I was certain Loki would want to talk—and I didn't mind that. But for now? Well, it could wait. Besides, in a couple of days, Astrid would be with us too, and—well, that depended on whatever happened to her and her potential patron. I still needed to find out.

  I loitered just out of the pool of light cast by a lampshade as the evening wore on, waiting for the group to exit their orientation. When the doors flung open, a stream of young women in their prime poured out alongside a bunch of young men. I scanned through them until, at the end, I picked out Alana. She was walking with her head held high, but her shoulders were ever so slightly stooped. If I hadn't known her so well, I wouldn't have picked up that she was feeling slightly put down. But already, I had a bad feeling. It wasn't just me—there was something else going on. But that could all wait.

  As they passed, I called out. Alana's head whipped over to me. No one else seemed to notice.

  "Alaric," she mouthed, whispering just loud enough for me to hear.

  I nodded, and she turned and skipped over to me. In a second, she was there, looking up at my face with an intensity that gave me pause as she scanned me, realizing that she had only seen my true face for a moment. I activated my disguise and became Alaric for a moment before letting it fade.

  "This is who I really am," I said with a nervous smile. “I’m impressed, Alana. I didn't expect to see you so soon."

  Her face went through a flurry of emotions, and as always, I could read every single one. So when she launched herself at me, trying to tackle me to the ground with a hug, I wasn't surprised. Neither was I moved, as her physical stats just couldn't compare. But I still exhaled in relief as she crushed my ribs. I returned the embrace, patting her on the back a few times as she hiccupped once before going up on tiptoes to kiss me on the cheek.

  "Alaric, it is so good to see you! I—I—" she started to say, but I raised a finger to her lips and shushed her.

  "In a second. Let's go someplace where we can talk."

  She nodded and looped her arm through mine as we walked down the street. We received several odd looks, as even couples walking around in Valhalla usually made sure they were always available to draw a weapon. But something in my eyes must have prevented anyone from trying anything—not that we were in a particularly dangerous place, so close to the newbie houses and the arenas used for graduation ceremonies. The gods had a subtle influence and a way of keeping this place running smoothly.

  I had picked out a spot before coming to meet her and took her along to a place that had private rooms. It was a rarity, so it took us a few minutes of walking, but I found a place with a relatively nice exterior and a rowdy crowd. With a not-insignificant payment of coin, we were led up a flight of stairs—not to bedrooms, but to a set of private dining rooms. It wasn't spacious, but the table was set for two, and no one would bother us.

  I pulled out her chair and gestured for her to sit down at the rough wooden table in the dimly lit room. She looked at it, then at me, slightly askance, but she gave me a smile and sat graciously, like the noble she was. I took my seat and leaned in.

  "It's good to see you, too." It felt like that wasn't near enough to say, but gods damn it was true.