Ch. 91 - Hugs 'n' Tallies

  The notion that behavior can be separated into mutually exclusive components, such as mental or psychological aspects of behavior and purely physical aspects of behavior, is not sustainable given the current understanding of behavior.

  All psychological and emotional processes have a physiological basis, and all complicated behaviors (behaviors that are not simply reflex actions) have a significant emotional and psychological component. The old dualistic separation of mind and body is a myth and an unrealistic way to view nearly any type of behavior. This includes behaviors associated with substance use disorders and process addictions (e.g., compulsive gambling).

  Any designation of something as being “purely physical” or “purely psychological” reflects a misunderstanding of behavior in general.

  – American Addiction Centers, ca. 2018

  ***

  I stopped a hundred meters away from the zone of cold, next to Leah's cannon. There was a huge metal object floating next to it, hovering on humming turbines.

  But before I could more than glance at it, Leah caught up, popped her hatch, and threw herself at me, arms barely attached.

  I caught her with one arm around her torso, and another beneath her bum to carry her since she had no legs to stand on, and buried my face in her neck. A tear or two might've wet mine, and I couldn't help but breathe deeply and rub my nose against Leah as the powerful relief of physical contact almost buckled my knees.

  She shivered for a bit before she managed to relax a smidgen. I wasn't doing any better. I shook in the teeth of what I realized was probably already a pretty powerful case of addiction to physical touch. Leah's specifically.

  I couldn't bear the thought of going back to loneliness anymore.

  What did they say? If it affected your decisions to your detriment, it was an addiction? Something like that?

  Yeah; there was a reason I'd isolated so thoroughly as Aden. If I wasn't very careful, I'd let my need for intimacy override everything. Other necessities, other's needs, even any moral obligations.

  But I'd made a promise to myself. That I'd do my best to find a balance. That I wouldn't return to that lonely life. It helped to be aware that I'd harm Leah if I indulged in codependency. She needed to not be dependent on me, no matter how…convenient that would be for anxious little me.

  And that was all it took to make me move.

  I squeezed Leah tight one more time, strong enough she grunted, then gently resettled her into her pod's crash couch. She smiled while she let the egg attach her legs.

  "Job's done," she said with a brilliant grin. I snort-giggled involuntarily and Leah laughed at me.

  "Welcome back, Leah. How'd the day treat you?" My eyes snagged again on the fat drone floating next to the towed cannon. "Also, what's that?" I asked, pointing at it. The thing was armed with her old smoothbores. My eyes wandered further, and I took in the new guns on her turrets, with their machinery and belts of rather girthy ammunition. Oh! "And those?!" I bounced excitedly on my toes while stabbing fingers at them.

  Then I looked back at Leah, and blushed when I noticed her gaze drawn to my jigglies. Her eyes went hooded and a flush graced her cheeks, too, when she realized I'd caught her.

  I licked my lips nervously, and whined involuntarily when her eyes jumped to them. Her own opened a little. Heat washed through me, and flutters echoing my earlier orgasm made my thighs clench. I could still smell my juices on me, too, wafting through my sensilla.

  Oh god. I squeezed my eyes shut and vigorously rubbed my face with my hands. She's gonna make me come without even touching me. I jerked my tail around and splashed my face, followed by dunking hers.

  While she was busy spluttering and not looking, I quickly cleaned myself of any compromising scents and forced my mind back on track. I thought about using AI-I to command the bionites to control the heavy blush, but something about the idea of hiding my natural reactions around Leah repelled me.

  I liked it when she knew the focus of my attention through that of my antennae. When she could guess the direction of my thoughts from my face. I wanted her teasing and her genuine knowledge of me. I wanted to be an open book.

  It felt good to be seen.

  Urgh. Was I developing exhibitionistic tendencies? Uh… Was that, um…bad? It might at least be…fun. Yeah. And really, I only cared about Leah's eyes.

  I slapped my face lightly while Leah recovered. So much for 'mind on track', huh?

  Leah threatened to retaliate with narrowed eyes and squirt guns, but I did Sacred Art: Puppy-dog Eyes and Antennae Ahead, Special Effect: Mighty Pout.

  "Help me clean? Yucky dust and stuff," I said with a high voice and a bit of a lisp.

  Her lips twitched and I saw the corners of her eyes crinkle helplessly as she worked to keep the aww back. It definitely wasn't laughter she was holding down, nuh-uh.

  Valiant efforts or not, my counter-squirtgun-tactics were indeed impenetrable, and Leah caved. She stretched her hand out and started sprinkling water over my antennae.

  I grabbed them by the stem, two thirds down, and slowly moved them back and forth under the stream. The tips were still wriggling about, rather happy to taste-test anything in range. They especially went after Leah's bust and throat, who was twitching with suppressed giggles from the ticklish feather-light touches and bringing a smile to my lips.

  The water drops pearled on the sensilla and gathered up the particles of dust, mud, and dirt that had begun to clog them a little. Their hydrophobic nature made it really easy to wash it all off, and I breathed a small sigh of relief from the freshened sensations.

  Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

  Until a shiver went through them and I sneezed, while my antennae flailed wildly and tossed all the little droplets around.

  "Uh…" I rubbed my nose until the tingle went away, and Leah wiped the spray from her face. With a slightly stuffed voice I asked Tynea, "Didn't we fix that already?"

  Not yet. We do have the tools, but this will be a major change to your nasal septum, and a very minor one to your brain's genetics. Do I have your go-ahead?

  "Mmm." I thought about that while I rubbed my eyes. "What kinda changes? Is it gonna do something to me that I'd notice, aside from not sneezing by wet antenna?"

  You would breathe more freely in certain situations. Part of the cause of your photoptarmosis is a deviated nasal septum, which is obstructing your left nasal passage. The changes to your brain only concern a minor adjustment of the sneezing reflex.

  Oh, I'd always had the left side of my nose clog up. I guess fixing that would be nice. "I guess that didn't get fixed during the total makeover?"

  No. These tiny issues, otherwise unproblematic, contribute quite a lot to feeling at home in a new body, strange as that may seem. They're familiar.

  "I see. Go ahead, then!"

  Understood. The viral editors are being printed, and I'll use the bionites to correct your septum during your sleep, if you do not mind? You'd suffer some uncomfortable numbness, otherwise.

  "Sure."

  Antennae clean and quite knackered on the sensitivity level, they gave me a break for once and just slowly combed the air. I looked at Leah and tilted my head a little, in her own style. She grinned and mussed my hair.

  "Want me to help you wash your hair?" I asked. "The day's not been kind to it."

  And it really hadn't. Her hair was matted, sweaty, and, despite all the beautiful color, it looked a bit dull. She ran her fingers through it and pulled a handful forward.

  "That'd be nice. But let's wait until we're back at the facility? It's getting dark."

  "Okay," I nodded and smiled. "So, the drone and guns?"

  She pointed at the floating drone and said, "That's Big Brother. He helps me reload the guns I can't get to while inside the pod, and stores any that I'm not using. He'll even refit the pod during battle. I'll be able to use him with Daddy-Long-Legs, too. And those," she beamed happily as she switched to the new rifles on her turrets, "those are proper autocannons. Small, but actually hella deadly. I murdered hundreds of Threes and Fours in seconds. The shells in the belts are high-explosive monsters. Quite nasty."

  My grin widened more and more as Leah grew more and more animated during the explanation. It was absolutely beautiful to see her gaining new energy. I imagined she must've been more like this before all the bullshit that happened to her.

  "So!" She clapped her hands while grinning at me. "How many points do we have?"

  That was a good question. "Ypsi, Tynea, show us the combined results, please?" I asked.

  Okie! Um! Would you like a table? From since you split up? And also, I'm very sorry, but there won't be any bonus, okay? Just added together!

  I aww'd at the polite little girl, and then said, "Yup!"

  "Whoo! Been a while since I've seen numbers like that!"

  Leah smiled smugly, very satisfied. "That's a Daddy-Long-Legs, alright. We should even have enough left for your wings. Two thousand you said, right?"

  "Yup!" I bounced excitedly again.

  "Okay." Leah nodded. Sunk in thoughts, she was saved from the jiggles. Boo. "Should be enough, though it'll be tight if we need other stuff, too." She looked at me and continued, "We'll have more Antithesis to kill once we start traveling; even before we cross the swamp."

  "Plus there's the underground nest we'll mark for destruction! That should also get us a few. It will, right? Tynea?"

  Yes, though only around eight percent of the actual value. It'd be another two percent if you tagged the nest personally, but that may not be worth the time and effort involved.

  "Fair enough. So, we shouldn't expect more than a few hundred from that nest." I looked at Leah. "We'll get everything squared away, and then decide?"

  "Yeah, sounds fine," she said through a yawn.

  Hmm. It was a bit early, but we could sleep at the facility one more night and start bright and early tomorrow morning.

  I looked behind me, towards the crater, thinking of the gun. Hehe. Good fight, that was. Good ending. My antennae waved around a little, straining towards the unusual weather over there. Maybe I should make some sort of keepsake? Yeah.

  I nudged AI-I with the idea, and she got busy with Tynea. Impressions of holocrystals and pendants and other media flitted back and forth somewhere in the rear of my brain.

  I left them…us, to it, and also left the shield wherever it had fallen, in favor of moving forwards. We had an easy two kilometers’ walk ahead of us, and plenty of time to chat and plan.

  Plenty of time to let the raging thirst that was urging my hands to touch, and be touched, die down a little.

  Oh! And we could probably talk about exciting 'splosions, too!

  ***

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