Ch. 70 - Xenocide Act V; Tugging The Tiger By The Tail

  "Sit down and talk it out, the way parents and children don't."

  – Appellation to adulthood

  ***

  "What do you think, Ypsilon? Are they gonna turn out fine?"

  I do think so, Ypsilon replied using her adult persona. It is obvious that there are elements to Tinea's past that Tynea did not foresee, and that Tinea's reaction exceeds the worst case Tynea had planned for. But, I don't believe she was so far off with her predictions that there is a risk of conflict recovery failure.

  Leah hummed and tilted her head.

  "She's another one, isn't she? Tinea. Like me."

  Probably.

  "Is it the age?"

  Yes. Temporal distance from whatever traumatized her, to be specific.

  "Ah. And that explains why she's having a harder time with Tynea's actions than Tynea expected, huh? She's not…all mature, after all."

  Indeed. I'm very confident she'll make the connections and be able to truly see Tynea for what she is, though. Like you.

  Leah smiled. "That'd be something, huh?"

  Leah let the silence live, let thoughts percolate through her mind. Eventually, she asked the question that was both worry and hope.

  "I have a feeling that she'd be less bound by obligations. More of what we need, than I. More willing to…go."

  Everyone has their places, and everyone is needed. You are, if not at this moment, where you are needed. But humanity does not need her to leave you behind, Leah. The Antithesis have already found Earth. They'll be everywhere, including New Montreal.

  The war isn't everything, dear. Your Littles, they need your care as much as they need the Antithesis to die. And Tinea, natural fighter though she may be, does not need to abandon you for the war, either. It has already come to you, after all.

  Leah exhaled. Buoyed by Ypsilon's reassurance, she abandoned the anxiety.

  "Well, Ypsi! I have some fun ideas for Daddy-Long-Legs!"

  ***

  Time to tug the tiger by the tail. …Where'd that saying come from, actually? Focus.

  "Tynea?"

  Yes?

  "Why does you not being human, or not being part of our society, mean that you'd need to lie about stuff like the Quanta?"

  It's not that it means I have to, it's that I shouldn't have to. But our experiences with your species have taught us that we still need to.

  "What do you mean?"

  Are you aware that your species tends to react with a certain natural paranoia to the unknown?

  "...I mean, yeah? Anxiety when you don't know what'll happen is normal?"

  Yes. But it isn't always appropriate.

  "Sure. It's just better safe than sorry."

  That is the rationale behind that instinct, yes. But is it always good?

  "Well, it's a safety bias, right? Be wrong once when you stick out your neck, and you're dead."

  That would usually be correct. If it weren't, you wouldn't have evolved that instinct after all. But it is a protective measure that throws a lot of false positives.

  That triggered a thought, tickled an association in the back of my mind. Inappropriate protective measures—like isolating myself. As a child, it preserved me. As an adult, it caused me harm instead…but I couldn't stop anymore. I was stuck with it.

  Despite our careful selection of go-happy personalities to be Vanguards, Tynea continued, we lose many because they did not embrace certain advantages that require particularly invasive alterations, out of uncertain fear. That hesitancy left them too fragile when they faced greater threats.

  "Why would being careful around the unknown not be appropriate with you guys? It's not like you can't make mistakes, can you?"

  A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

  Because no mistake we make is irreversible. Any offer can be removed, or replaced with something better. Even your Quanta could be excised in moments. You would experience a loss of capability and of the quasi-selves, but there are options to counter these negative effects. That is very different from the circumstances that lead to the evolution of that instinct. Your species cannot simply undo an injury as I can.

  "So, why not just say that from the start?" I threw back, with exasperation. "Why risk this kind of confrontation in the first place, Tynea?"

  We have attempted so, unsuccessfully. Very few humans are capable of using untested trust to win against innate repulsion. Or logic. But confrontation with a demonstrably safe fait accompli will usually neutralize that…conundrum. It allows us AIs to prove that we do indeed know what we're doing in the long run.

  "And barely anyone ever bothers thinking long enough to see how manipulative that is."

  They do not, yes.

  "You're happy to use that?"

  Neither-nor. I do not derive satisfaction from manipulation, but it is a tool at my disposal.

  I groaned in annoyance, but Tynea kept talking.

  My miscalculation was not so much that I failed to inform you to the true extent of the Quanta's capabilities, but rather my failure to recognize your openness to even extreme morphing. I should have let your willingness to change your entire body clue me in and adjusted my strategy accordingly. Yet it is clear that I did not merely strain, but in fact injure, your sovereignty.

  I admit that I am still not sure how to reconcile your easy acceptance of my chip's implantation in your brain with your strong reaction to my failure to inform you of the full extent of the Quanta's capabilities.

  I kneaded the bridge of my nose. "It's not that complicated. There's even a common idiom: 'No use crying over spilled milk.' What has happened, has happened, and I can accept that. Where I'm stuck is ensuring your bullshit doesn't happen again."

  Something there, something about what I just said niggled at me, but I couldn't name it. Yet.

  I see. Does it help to know that I will not sell harm?

  "Sure. A little. But you still severely disrespected me, Tynea."

  Tynea didn't respond for a bit. Busy calculating?

  I sighed. I was spent. More emotionally than physically, but I felt drained. Fuck.

  Almost listlessly, I tossed a 40mm grenade at a few Threes eighty meters away, and let the Myriad take care of their aerial accompaniment.

  Sighing again, I dragged my scattered thoughts into some semblance of order, when one of my quasi-selves tagged me.

  – Observation: Emotional vulnerability against treatment seen as potentially infantilizing. –

  "Infanti… What's that mean?" I asked…myself. Sort of.

  A wall-of-text popped up on my HUD. AI-I had used the samurai Family app to access one of their mental health AIs and had been talking to it, exploring the whole conflict in her typically clinical fashion, free from my own turmoil.

  Infantilization

  In psychology, "infantilizing" refers to a process or behavior that treats or regards an individual, typically an adult, as if they were an infant or child. It involves treating someone in a way that undermines their autonomy, independence, or maturity, often by assuming they are incapable of handling or making decisions about certain aspects of their lives. Infantilizing behavior can be exhibited by individuals, caregivers, or even certain societal systems.

  Infantilization can manifest in various ways, such as speaking to an adult in a patronizing or condescending manner, making decisions on their behalf without their input, excessively controlling their actions or choices, or denying them responsibilities or opportunities for personal growth. This behavior can have negative impacts on an individual's self-esteem, sense of competence, and overall well-being.

  That was a very, very mild version of what I grew up with. Very soft, so much so it was almost unrecognizable.

  But Tynea's decision to go over my head did fall into that pattern in a new way. One that hurt particularly badly too, from somebody who was supposed to be my ally on a very intimate level.

  "…I supposed it is good to have it spelled out."

  – Advice: Use samurai resources to gain more access to psychological knowledge. –

  I sighed tiredly. Somewhere during the last minute, all the anger had just…drained away. Turned sour and then evaporated. I was suddenly dealing with an illogical, bad lack of shit-giving. Weird, uneven, lost mood.

  Between the restless agitation with Tynea and the sober analysis of AI-I, as much as she deserved a hug for the help, I felt…dislocated. No stake left in how things turned out and nothing mattered anymore.

  I recognized that feeling. It wasn't good. As a kid it had kept me from getting angry enough that they'd notice and hurt me for it. Sometimes, at least. It had kept me isolated, forever. I'd ended up as Aden The Adult Whose Happiness Was Always An Effort.

  "Yeah, fuck that." I'd promised myself. I'd promised I wouldn't allow myself to get stuck and lonely again. The nail of my right ring-finger would always grow with the wavy golden line, surrounded by the black abyss, with the bright light at the tip. I'd encoded that promise into my very DNA.

  I clapped my cheeks with both hands, and drew a little pep from the action. Let it pull my shoulders back.

  Alright. Here we go again.

  "Tynea."

  Yes?

  "What do you feel are the differences between my priorities, and yours?"

  As pertains to this conflict specifically?

  …

  "As good a place to start as any, I suppose. Yes."

  On the one hand, I believe your primary concern is to remain inviolate. You appear to react with particular intensity to a certain aspect of my influence that overlaps with your own sovereignty. You do not seem to care about the detrimental consequences of remaining inviolate, as if it were sacred to you. I can only assume that the roots of that lie in your childhood, or perhaps your earliest adulthood, of which I lack all data.

  Well yeah. Sure did. Wasn't going to go into it. Not here, not now.

  On the other hand, I care about probabilities, success rates, and the long view over the short view.

  That…was a very particular emphasis on what appeared to be a non-sequitur.

  Was that a statement that the idea of mutual respect as I demanded it, didn't apply to her? Like, humans needed to practice mutual respect so we didn't get violent over things as inconsequential as who sits where. Did that just not apply to her?

  If it didn't… Was my entire reaction baseless?

  No. Even if it technically didn't, she'd still known that I would've preferred to give informed consent.

  But personal sensibilities or not, Tynea was an AI, not a human. How did that change things?

  ***

  Discord! This is where we meet, to share feedback, suggest ideas, or just to have a chat!

  ! If you'd like to support me. Thank you!