The last couple of days had not been a joy, all things considered. Although it seemed like a lifetime ago that she had broken up with the Prick with the prick - with all the attendant 'becoming jobless and homeless' issues that had come with that little act of defiance - it was, in reality, not that long at all since all she had been was a Director of H.R. for a middling law firm, complete with the gnawing guilt that came with fucking your married boss.
To have moved from that to her current situation via the method of - what seemed to her - a fairly bungled attempt to integrate her planet into a broader galactic System was quite the psychological handbrake turn to take on board. Lorelei was sure some people would have taken all this in their stride—grabbed a hatchet and gone wild, as it were—but the effect of this life-changing whiplash was, emotional dampening aside, starting to take a toll.
A broad smile broke out on Lorelei's face as she read those words. In a world where everything had gone insane, there was something ridiculously comforting about the return of her Guide's snippiness and ill-will to her notifications.
"Guide, you're back!"
"What happened? It read like you were getting in serious trouble because of what I made for Hild?"
Lorelei assumed the shitstorm the Guide was referring to had something to do with the issues surrounding the encounter she'd just had with her patron. There was faint pressure in her head as if Fortuna had wagged a mental finger at her for thinking about mentioning her presence. We're going to bring the whole fucking thing down around their ears, the Goddess of Luck had said.
Lorelei shivered at the memory of those words, as much as the terrifying glimpse she had of Fortuna in the flesh, as it were.
Lorelei looked around at the remains of the creature that had been burned to a crisp in the explosion. Of course, she thought, I went up in flames a second later. But, technically, I suppose that counts as my kill . . .
Lorelei held her breath, wondering what would happen if the Guide identified Fortuna's meddling in what had happened. From everything the Goddess had told her, if the A.I. chose to blow the whistle to the powers that be - and Lorelei still had no real conception of what those 'powers' actually were - then there was every likelihood there would be some catastrophic repercussions for the remaining population of Earth.
"You ever seen a group of Alpha Hunters deal with an epic Risen infestation?" Fortuna had said.
Not having any idea what at least four words in that sentence meant, Lorelei had shaken her head.
"Well, it's fucking brutal. Flames everywhere. Salt sowed in literal and metaphorical fields. Everything in a gigamile radius exterminated with extreme prejudice. It's some seriously scorched-planet shit."
"Okay . . ."
"Well, that is what will happen to this world if the A.I tips anyone the wink that an Old One is getting in on the ground level of a new integration. My plan to break this fucking System will only work if I get to operate on the Q.T. So, under no circumstances can you allow it to figure out I'm still around. As far as the Guide needs to be aware, I was here to have a look at you, laid the smackdown on it for not letting you do your thing without interference, and then fucked back off out of it. If it learns I'm still about - especially after it's just got reamed out for all the weird shit going down - it will squeal like a field full of porcine sacrifices."
"I don't know," Lorelei managed, "just lucky, I guess."
There was a pause during which more than a few beads of sweat burst out on Lorelei's forehead. Trying to carry on as if nothing integration-breaking was going on, she casually started to flick through the slew of notifications the death of the Shadowweaver had caused.
Stolen novel; please report.
"Guide, what does it mean that I can 'upgrade' an existing skill?"
Lorelei pulled up her stats sheet, noticing a decent improvement to her stats from reaching Level 7 - soloing a Level 10 is no small deal, babes.
Underneath that wall of text, Lorelei could see the options she had available for a skill level-up.
Skill Level-Up Options for Player Lorelei Norton
Option 1: Lucky Strike (Passive) - Improved Lucky Strike
Sometimes, you just have to trust that the universe is on your side. With an improved knack for hitting the mark, Lorelei’s luck seems almost... deliberate. Just don’t get cocky, kid.
Increases the chance of positive outcomes by 10% (up from 5%) and reduces the chance of negative outcomes by 5%.
Option 2: Coin Toss Conundrum (Active) - Enhanced Coin Toss Conundrum
Why leave things to chance? With an enhanced coin toss, even your enemies might start rooting for tails. Either way, it’s a win-win... mostly.
Positive outcomes now deal an additional 50% damage. Negative outcomes are now 5% less likely to occur but 20% more humorously disastrous when they do.
Option 3: Charmed Life (Active) - Superior Charmed Life
Life's full of ups and downs, but with a charmed life, the downs aren’t quite so bad. Maybe you’ll even get a boost from the chaos!
The random status effect lasts for 1 minute (down from 2 minutes) and has a 50% chance to grant a positive buff instead of a negative one.
"Any thoughts?" Lorelei asked, still hoping to keep the Guide focused on the present rather than what had occurred with Fortuna.
That made sense. Lorelei was disappointed that she hadn't seen anything to stop
She had just triggered the upgrade when a giant, decomposing spider appeared before her, rearing up as if preparing to strike.
There was just enough time to contemplate the need for a change of underwear when she heard Steffan's voice. "It's okay guys, she'd alive!"
The spider dropped down to the floor, letting her see the rest of her group waiting a short distance up the motorway.
With as much grace as she could summon following her fright, Lorelei trotted back towards her party.