One day, the King of France was polishing his favourite pistol when a servant rushed in and shouted in an important voice, “Sire! Sire! The peasants are revolting!”

  “Well,” boomed the King of France even more importantly, “don’t let them in here, I’ve just had lunch!”

  “Sire! The peasants say that they will chop off all the heads of the royal family if you don’t do something about the dragon!”

  “Dragon? What dragon?”

  “The one that is ripping up forests, drying up rivers, and rampaging up and down the country! It has destroyed all the villages in its path and all those people with no homes are outside, and they are revolting!”

  “Yes, yes, I know they are revolting. You don’t have to keep on about it. Why hasn’t someone told me about this dragon earlier? Summon all my advisors, immediately!”

  The servant ran off to summon the King’s advisors.

  When all the advisors were assembled in the King’s throne room, he asked them what was to be done about the rampaging dragon.

  The advisors muttered amongst themselves.

  Eventually, one of them suggested that the king sends all his knights to kill the dragon.

  The next day, a messenger returned with the awful news that all the knights had been chewed up by the terrifying dragon.

  The advisors muttered amongst themselves again.

  Eventually, one of them suggested that the king sends messengers throughout the land to seek a great champion who will fight the dragon in return for the hand of the princess in marriage – and half of the kingdom, of course.

  Many champions came forth, but none were strong enough to defeat the dragon.

  “Now what shall we do?” asked the King. “The peasants are still revolting!”

  The advisors muttered.

  Then one of them suggested sending the peasants to fight the dragon.

  The King looked out of his window at the angry mob, and said wisely, “That is the stupidest suggestion ever! Go away, you’re fired!”

  The advisors muttered.

  Then one of them suggested that they write to the other kings and emperors and princes of the world, to ask for help.

  All the kings and emperors and princes of the world wrote back to say how sorry they were, but the French dragon was not their problem.

  All the kings of the European Countries were very sorry indeed, because when the dragon finished rampaging through France, it started rampaging through all their kingdoms as well.

  They clubbed together with the French King to write a petition to the kings and emperors and princes of the rest of the world to ask for help.

  The Emperor of China, the Tribal Chiefs of Africa, the King of India and the Tsar of Russia wrote back to say how sorry they were, but they could not help.

  Furthermore, the Emperor of China wrote that he was having trouble with his tea and his sesame; the Tribal Chiefs of Africa wrote to say they were having trouble with shadowy shades and shady shadows; the King of India wrote about his trouble with cardamom pods and hovering prophets; and the Tsar of Russia mentioned problems with shrinking dolls and shrieking sprogs. The dragon was not their problem.

  The dragon finished rampaging through all the European Countries and started to rampage through the African States.

  The Tribal Chiefs of Africa joined the European petition. Still the kings of the rest of the world wrote back to say they could not help.

  The big and fierce dragon then flew to the Eastern continent and rampaged through India and China, and then rampaged through Russia.

  And they all realised that the dragon was everybody’s problem.

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  So all the kings and emperors and tribal chiefs and princes of the world went to the French King’s committee to discuss what was to be done about the terrible dragon.

  Just then, a shout was heard from the window.

  A man in splendid armour carrying a great sword came before them and said, “Kings, princes, chiefs, tsars and emperors of the world, I can rid you of this terror, but in return, you must all give me half of your kingdoms.”

  “What!” said the kings, princes, tribal chiefs and emperors to one another. “Who is this man? Why should we give him half of our kingdoms?”

  “My dear excellencies,” said the King of France, “I don’t know who this man is, but if he says he can rid us of this dragon, then we must give him half of our kingdoms. If we don’t, we may not have any kingdoms left.”

  So all the kings, princes, tribal chiefs and emperors of the world agreed.

  The Champion Knight, Sir Gadabout, then rode off to face the dragon.

  All the kings, princes, tribal chiefs and emperors, and common people, followed him.

  The people watched as Sir Gadabout rode bravely up to the fierce dragon that was busy tearing through and burning up the forest.

  They thought the knight was going to be squished at once, but to their surprise, the dragon reared backwards as Sir Gadabout charged. Instead of a sheet of flame from its jaws to carbonise Sir Gadabout, twirls of blue smoke drifted harmlessly from its nostrils.

  The people cheered to see the dragon cower before their saviour. The dragon retreated into the forest.

  Sir Gadabout rode back to the kings, and said, “I have now rid you of the dragon. It will no longer terrorise you, or your people. Now, give me half of your kingdoms as you promised.”

  The kings shook their heads. “No,” they said, “you haven’t killed the dragon.”

  “But I have got rid of it as we agreed,” said Sir Gadabout.

  “No, you haven’t. It could come back. We want to see the dragon’s head on a plate before you get our kingdoms,” said the kings.

  Sir Gadabout thought for a bit and then said, “All right. I will do as you say, but in return, I want the Pope to make me a saint, and I want to be President of the uncharted land on the other side of the world.”

  “What an audacious pillock!” said a commoner. “All I want is a good meal, and a hut for shelter, and a bonny wife … and obedient children –”

  Shush, shushed the wealthy merchant standing next to him.

  The Pope agreed to make Sir Gadabout a saint. And all the kings agreed he could be President of all the land on the other side of the world, if he killed the dragon.

  Then Sir Gadabout said, “It will be a long and bloody battle so I will rest tonight and do it tomorrow.”

  That evening, Sir Gadabout secretly sent his slave, the grim sorcerer who can speak slitherstongue, the language of dragons, into the forest to talk to the dragon.

  The dragon’s sharp ears heard the sorcerer’s approach and asked, “Have you come to give me back my egg?”

  The grim sorcerer shook his head.

  “No, Great Dragon. I regret that there has been a change of plan. You see, the kings want to see your head on a plate so could you please pretend to die in battle tomorrow and then I can make a fake head on a plate –”

  “What!” roared the dragon. “It is enough that I have pretended to cower and retreat. You want me to participate in some cheap despicable trick as well! I want my egg back! Now!”

  “Mighty Dragon, don’t get angry. I am merely a slave to the knight. I do not know where the egg is. If you pretend to die tomorrow, the knight will certainly return your egg.”

  “Very well,” grumbled the dragon. “Go back to your master and tell him that I will do as he asks, but he must take me to where he has hidden my egg tonight.”

  The grim sorcerer bowed deeply and went back to the knight to tell him of the dragon’s demand.

  “How can I be sure the dragon will do what I want after it gets the egg?” Sir Gadabout wanted to know.

  “Dragons are creatures of honour,” the grim sorcerer replied, “unlike someone I could mention …”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” the shining knight huffed.

  “If a dragon swears to do something, then it will. They abide by the deepest magic of all: the magic of truth.”

  Now then, you see where the mysterious Easter egg really came from, don’t you?

  Sir Gadabout had stolen the egg from the mother dragon.

  The angry dragon then rampaged through the world in search of her stolen egg.

  And now, to rid the world of the dragon, Sir Gadabout had simply to return it to her.

  The knight led the way to the riverbank where he had hidden the egg.

  But when they got there, Sir Gadabout could not find the egg because this was the same egg that the gruff wizard had taken in the last story.

  The dragon became very angry, and with a roar and a gush of fire, squished the devious knight, just like that!

  The furious mother dragon then tore up the surrounding earth and forest looking for her lost egg …

  Now, because the knight was squished, the grim sorcerer was free to do whatever he liked.

  So, he decided to visit his friend, the gruff wizard, for some peace and quiet, and a chinwag.

  When the gruff wizard heard the sorcerer’s tale, he called up his friends, the glamorous sorceress and the grey witch, to see what they could do about the troubles of the world.

  The witch realised immediately that the mysterious Easter egg was really the lost dragon egg.

  The problem was that the egg wasn’t an egg any more. It had hatched into a cute baby dragon.

  They would need to convince the rampaging mother dragon that it really was her baby.

  So the witch made a replica egg out of clay and painted it to look exactly like the dragon’s egg before it had hatched.

  She gave it to the grim sorcerer, telling him to arrange to meet with the dragon at the top of the tallest active volcano, and then to cast the egg into the volcano.

  Then, just as the dragon was preparing to leap in to retrieve the egg, out popped the baby dragon.

  This made the mother dragon very happy, and she did not trouble the world any more.

  And the four magic friends went home for tea.