‘Luci’ giggled, but made eye contact with their waiter before ordering. “If you have herbal tea, especially Pecha, I would appreciate a steaming cup.” Their waiter nodded, as they faced the remaining members of the party.
“Cheri parfait for me, please.” Gaston requested, as Chad stuck out a tongue in disgust at the spicy treat.
“I don’t suppose you have Baklava?” Chad inquired, as Dragonair shook their head ‘no’. “Hmm, what about Molten Chocolate Lava Cake?” Another no. “Ugh, do you at least have milkshakes?”
“Yes, we offer milkshakes made with both normal milk and Miltank milk, in any variety of berry flavors.” Dragonair informed, their smile calm and encouraging.
“So, no chocolate?” Another shake no. “Bluk berry then, and just normal milk for now. Really craving some chocolate…” Chad ordered, as his thoughts trailed off. “Go figure; it's my first time in France and I haven’t seen a chocolate croissant yet.”
Dragonair laughed in amusement. “Well, as unfortunate as that is to hear, I must remind you this is Kalos, not France. If you wish to gorge on sugary chocolate desserts you may need to fly across the ocean to Unova. On the plus side, it appears they do not consume mollusks here, so that may be a blessing for– and do forgive my assumption– the standard American.” Their waiter/waitress was halfway to the back of the cafe when Chad’s expression exploded in surprise.
“That’s them,” he whispered, in complete disbelief. “That’s the one I’m doing all of this for… Right?”
Ginette blew a raspberry with her tongue, “As if Chad knows how to be normal. Do you need some flirting advice from the master, mon frère?” Chad waved her away, sitting up straighter in the massive (yet still appropriately-sized) chair. After pokemon-watching for a few minutes, the group noticed Dragonair emerge from the kitchen, balancing the tray with five items on it atop their head without even a wobble. Placing each of their orders on the table before them, Dragonair placed a fifth item on the table to Chad’s left, before pulling up a fifth chair to the table.
And claiming the seat for themselves.
“I hope you do not mind, I wanted to appreciate the spectacle we’re about to witness.” They teased, taking a sip from the rainbow-colored fizzy drink. The four were confused, until Dragonair motioned towards the back kitchen door with their head. “Your friend is about to cause a stir, for better and worse.”
At that exact moment, the door opened, and Alexandre strode forward carrying a tray filled with micro taster-sized drinks, using his free hand to adjust the black bow tie around his neck. Somehow, he appeared to have slimmed down and gotten even more muscular in the past few minutes, carrying the tray past the group towards the entrance. Playing into it, Lucielle gave him a whistle in appreciation, matched with Ginette’s two thumbs up.
“Enlighten me; is he really going to work as a waiter? His personality seems like it might be a deterrence..?” Chad whispered to Dragonair, who gave him a knowing look in return. He then glared at Lucielle and Gaston, “And which of you two taught him Bulk Up?” The two plead innocent, looking anywhere but Chad’s eyes.
“Not yet, first he has to complete the trial by fire; pulling in customers off the street.” Dragonair answered, as Alexandre was fully outside the restaurant, searching for his first target with a predatory smile. “Though, admittedly, he may be able to do just that.” The dragon noodle commented, as two pokemon approached him and accepted the offered samples. Chad watched the sequence in stunned silence, as the pair (seemingly charmed by his performance and charisma) were handed off to Sylveon and led to their seats. “So, you’re the guy I’m rushing around to save the world for?”
Chad froze, the two-hit combo of a brain freeze and the statement’s absurdity. “Uh, I mean, maybe? What are you saving the world from?”
“Team Flare. Nasty bunch, good at keeping their people out of prison, but still beatable. I tried to take down Lysandre before they could get much momentum, but I was informed that would be ‘cheating’. My crew cleaned up the Power Plant out west not that long ago, and now we’re just waiting around for the green light on our next op.”
Chad gently placed his glass on the table, taking measure of the pokemon beside him. “What do you think of your Storyteller? She seemed nice the one time we had tea and snacks. At least more pleasant than mine.”
“You’re always right here; I suggest taking this feedback and adjusting your relationship with your Actor, Narrator.” A sultry woman’s voice spoke from across the table, as between blinks a familiar Renamon pulled up a sixth chair to claim the only open spot at the table. In her hands was a delicately-held crepe overflowing with whipped cream and various berries. “Hello again, Chad. It seems you’ve grown since we last met.”
“I don’t believe I caught your name last time..?” Chad responded, as Gaston shifted uncomfortably in his seat upon seeing the newcomer, subtly moving away from her and closer to his teammates. Ginette and Lucielle were hushedly discussing something incredibly important, based on the speed of their exchange.
The yellow bipedal fox responded with an all-knowing grin. “My proper title is ‘The Lady’, though for now you may simply address me by this form’s name.” Behind her, another group of three customers walked in, glancing back and discussing the ‘hunk’ who had suddenly reminded them how parched they were.
“Are we teaming up?” Dragonair asked, eyes firmly locked with the Lady’s. “Do we finally get to end them once and for all?” Renamon finished chewing before dabbing a bit of creme with a napkin, gently swinging her snout back and forth. “So… Why are we meeting then?”
“Because I asked them for it!” Chad blurted out, his outburst seemingly not affecting any of the other cafe patrons. “I just… I wanted to meet you; to know that all of this was worth it…” He trailed off, as the noodle simply appraised him. “I’ve gotten smacked around, trained until I passed out, broken bones, hell I’ve even died at least once. I just– I needed motivation.”
The Lady’s eyes were wide in surprise, interrupting her before another bite of fluffy goodness could grace her tongue. “Narrator, did you disable his safeties?”
“You need to turn them on before he continues. This world instituted them for a very good reason.” She explained, visibly upset at the formless entity. “The contracts are only with The Creator, and the Gods of Space and Time; not the Lord of the Dead.”
“Hold the phone; I suffered because you thought I needed your version of motivation?!”
And stop. I think this is getting out of hand, and off-track. Narrator, you will re-enable all of the safeties for Chad. And no grumbling; just because the reader can’t see it doesn’t mean I don’t hear it.
And now, the real reason I arranged for you two to meet. Lady, would you be so kind as to voice my plan for the benefit of the others?”
“Certainly,” Renamon responded, turning in her seat to face the two Actors. “Due to the progression of events, the Author has decided that you need to make a temporary loan. Specifically, Gaston will be traveling with my team for the remainder of your gym circuit. To avoid hindering the remainder of Chad’s journey, we’re introducing you to your sixth teammate early, Keanu.”
This novel's true home is a different platform. Support the author by finding it there.
“I demand you cease your discussions, for I am no object to be passed about!” Gaston growled with an authoritative voice, angling himself to raise his head higher. “If thou seeks to recruit my divine self, thy shalt petition solely me.”
“Yea, I don’t jive with this either,” a deep and husky voice added, as a mysterious brown and white avian pokemon with a green hood appeared beside The Lady, his beak gently nibbling on a berry-stuffed pastry held by two bending feathers at the tip of his wing. “Shouldn’t we both get final approval on who we work with?” In frustration, Renamon tore a huge bite from her crepe in a near barbaric manner.
The table sat in silence, eyes darting around as everyone dared each other to go first. Dragonair cleared their throat, adjusting their posture to be more upright. “I’ll go first then. My team is on a mission to exterminate Team Flare, destroy The Ultimate Weapon, and make Kalos safer for every human and every pokemon. If you want strength, the opportunity to do good for the world, we would be happy to have you join us, Gaston.”
Nodding in acknowledgement once Dragonair finished speaking, Chad adjusted himself to gain the table’s attention. “My team is simply tackling the gym circuit and traveling around Kalos. We have three gyms left, but outside of that is a lot of training and-” he eyes Ginette unpleasantly, “shenanigans.” He lets the word hang before motioning towards the frog and the dog across the table. “If you wish for a second and third opinion, Ginette has been traveling with me the longest, and Lucielle just joined us a few days ago.”
“To clarify, the duration of this arrangement would be up until the start of the conference.” Renamon added before swallowing the final piece of her dessert. “I won’t sugar coat it, this needs to happen. Gaston won’t evolve if he stays with Chad, and Chad’s team cannot beat the seventh gym without Keanu’s participation.”
Gaston cast his accusatory glare at his team leader, waiting for a response. “She’s right,” Chad admitted with a sigh. “You’d struggle against the fairies, have little impact against the psychics, and be absolutely trounced by the icicles. I’m sorry, Gaston, but she’s right; you’d be better off traveling with her for now.” Chad cast his eyes to the remains of his milkshake, fiddling with the straw and spoon, unable to meet his teammate’s disheartened eyes.
Gaston shoved his chair backwards, moving away and deeper into the cafe. “I’ll talk with him,” Renamon offered, sliding her chair back to its original table before following after the dinosaur. Ginette stood, giving Chad a thumbs up and a wink, before she and Lucielle led Keanu away for a chat. Leaving only the two Actors left at the table.
“So, do you have a name?” Chad asked, barely tilting his head to look towards the noodle. “I, uh, tried to name myself, but it kept getting censored.”
“Same,” Dragonair responded with a sigh, before gathering the empty cutlery and glasses towards the center of the table. “Until I complete my task, She said I wasn’t allowed to use my old name. But, uh, Chad, huh?” They chuckled in amusement, “I wasn’t aware that was a Kalosian name.”
“Nah, it isn’t; they just thought the meme was funny and went with it.” Chad, absentmindedly rubbing his stomach, swung his head to face the dragon outright. “Did you get a choice? Was Dragonite your favorite or something?”
Dragonair shook their head, “No, no choice here, but Dragonite is my favorite so I would’ve chosen them anyway.” Their smile softened, knowingly. “Charizard wasn’t your choice, was it?”
“No. I even tried to set up some plot hooks for alternate evolutions, which succeeded… But I somehow ended up in the vanilla timeline.” He squeezed his fat belly, wiggling it with a frown. “Any chance your second favorite was Charizard?”
Dragonair, seemingly aware of the unspoken words, wrapped their long body around Chad in a soft embrace. “I don’t know what your life was like before this, but you can do this.” Chad leaned into the embrace, gently rubbing the long dragon’s body with his hands. “And yes, Charizard was my first starter; he helped me through some tough years.”
The two enjoyed the moment a bit longer before separating as Dragonair began to load up a tray table with the used glassware. “Though, I will say, I was expecting to die of like, microplastics poisoning, or maybe road rage. A ____ ________ was not in my top ten most likely causes, really.”
Dragonair eyed him suspiciously before shrugging. “I died about two months before the doctors predicted I would, though originally it was going to be from my heart giving out.” It became Chad’s turn to eye his conversation partner, encouraging them to elaborate. “Muscular Dystrophy. My family found out via a test when I was barely six years old. Nothing guilts parents into spending for Christmas like finding out your only child won’t live long enough to raise their own kids.”
The orange dragon’s expression fell to pity and empathy. “I’m so sorry– Here I am complaining about being fat while you’re just happy to get a second chance. I sound ungrateful…”
The pair sat in silence, watching as yet another customer was pulled in from the street by 'that charming pokemon'. “Wait, don’t you have that weird window power thing? Like you used with Ginette?”
“Details; can it show the other timelines?” Chad pleaded, as Dragonair finished bussing the table.
“He wants to see proof that his hard work paid off in some way,” Dragonair supplied, miraculously having performed their duties as a waiter in a flash.
“Ooh, this looks important!” Ginette commented, as she, Lucielle, and Keanu walked up from behind to watch. Without comment, Gaston and Renamon rejoined the group, the former having a stoic expression on his face.
“Is this one of the alternate timelines?” Lucielle inquired, recognizing the scene.
“Huh, isn’t that just your Mega X form?” Dragonair commented, as Chad shrugged. “I mean, it’s pretty similar to what you have now. And those spikes would get uncomfortable quickly.” Ginette grumbled something about wanting to match colors with her and Lucielle. A gentle pulse made Chad acutely aware of the mega stone hidden within his bag, still in the black and blue wrapping.
“Huh, that’s original. Psychic right? Lots of inspiration from Mewtwo, probably a real powerhouse of a special attacker.” Dragonair commented, studying the image. Before the view could continue, the illusory Chad in the mirror locked eyes with the group, moving towards them with determination, the other four in the image continuing to act as if he were still on the pillow.
Psychic-Chad put one hand on the mirror, then another, desperately banging on it, causing a solid “thud, thud” from the viewing window. His mouth was moving, but no sound came out, his eyes a mixture of raw fear, terror, and fright. “Narrator, what are you doing?” Renamon asked, stepping backwards from the display.
A claw wreathed in psychic energy burst through the window, quickly grabbing the side of the frame, before another burst through to grab the other. Both arms stretched the tear open, until the alternate Chad’s visage was visible through the hole, as he fought for every inch to widen the small opening. Real-Chad, whether it was the fear in his other’s eyes, or some other emotion, spurred into action by firmly grabbing both of his doppleganger’s arms. “Hold on, I gotcha!” He reassured himself, using his tail as leverage before lifting both legs to brace against the clouds.
“And neither did I! Let him through!” Chad shouted, as his teammates grabbed where they could to help pull. Whether it was the Narrator releasing their grip, or a solid pull from Team Chad, the skinny Psy-Chad flew through the small opening to land on top of Real-Chad in a heap, allowing the window to revert to its swirling nebulous state. Psy-Chad gently floated up and off Real-Chad, his hands glowing with psychic energy as he pulled the flying type up onto his feet.
“It appears only the Original Blend version was permitted to continue, I see?” Psy-Chad inquired, before looking around the cafe. “Thanks, for the help. It– It was really dark, and cold…” He trailed off, before slamming into the oversized gut of his counterpart for a strong hug. Real-Chad hesitated, before gently returning the embrace.
“I’m confused, I thought you cancelled the multiple timelines bullshit?” Real-Chad asked, seemingly unwilling to release his other self.
Narrator, did you actually delete the alternate timelines, or just put them on pause?
<...In my defense- >
“Show us the third one,” Real-Chad demanded, distancing himself from Psy-Chad to approach the floating color vomit. “I put in all that work, show me the third one.” Real-Chad pulled the visualizer closer, waiting anxiously.
“Damn it, Narrator, even I can figure out what you meant by a zombie survival; open it!” Real-Chad shouted, running his claws across the surface to find an opening. Psy-Chad joined in, his psychic-coated claws finding a tiny crack and working it open as the two pulled at the tear. “Hey, come with me if you want to live!” Real-Chad shouted through the opening, as Buff-Chad reacted and attempted to maneuver past his teammates.
Buff-Chad managed to make it to the portal, before getting stuck at the opening, as his massive shoulders were too wide to fit through. Threading one thick arm through the portal, Real-Chad took hold and pulled as Psy-Chad focused on trying to widen the opening.
A psychic pink bubble enveloped Buff-Chad, as the orb strobed with pink energy. “Don’t panic, just… Stop using Attract. You need a handle on that before you cause a problem.” Psy-Chad ordered, his eyes firmly locked on Buff-Chad.
Buff-Chad, with a hand rubbing the back of his head and smiling, looked appreciative and calm as the bubble continued to flash pink. “Erm, sorry. Thanks, but I, uh, don’t know how.”
So… what now?
Bite, Stomp, Rock Tomb, Dragon Dance, Hone Claws, Rock Smash, Bulk Up, Detect, Protect, Dragon Tail, Ancient Power, Stone Edge, Rock Slide, Crunch, Earthquake
Focus Energy, Double Kick, Horn Attack, Dig, Venoshock, Sludge Bomb, Poison Jab, Earthquake, Bulldoze, Protect, Flamethrower, Stone Edge, Power-Up Punch, Bulk Up
Detect, Protect, Extreme Speed, Aura Sphere, Close Combat, Bulk Up, Power-Up Punch, Bone Rush