Slamming down with enough force to crater the parking lot of what looked to be a heavily looted store and a car wash. Though thankfully not a truly earthshaking impact this time. I found myself facing the back of a badly injured pack of borillas fighting against a titanic corn spider with swords for legs alongside a horse sized sugar glider and an emu with giant claws. My appearance seems to have surprised both groups as I rise above the dust cloud surrounding me, my eyes gleaming once more with wicked joy as I pump a bit of Focus into my prehensile tail to twist my tail-blade into a kukri shaped blade. A manic giggle worms its way out as I sing song, "These little piggies never made it home."

  Lashing out with my tail, the curved blade bites deep into the side of one of the boarillas, nearly fully bisecting the beast in a single strike as it plows into two more of the ape like pigs and bowls them over. Seems that, without the boost from Bunker Down, my swings just don't have the power to rip through entire crowds of these things yet.

  Several of the pigs turn to face me only to get stabbed in the back by the spider, or wrapped up in the sugar glider's fleshy wings. A horrified squealing comes from the injured boarillas, especially the one wrapped up by the sugar glider, causing the remaining pigs to freeze as they struggle to figure out which threat to face. I take advantage of the indecision to snatch up another pig in my jaws to begin crushing even as I use my nose to slash a deep gash into another pig's side.

  –Grappling strike has leveled up!–

  –Gained 3xp–

  –Constrict has leveled up!–

  –Gained 3xp–

  As the emu lashes out with a pair of rending kicks, the morale of the boarillas seem to shatter as they begin to flee to the south towards a modest woodland. Giggling around my mouthful of dying monster I raise as much of my fifty foot long body as high into the air as I can and bring it down like a collapsing building on the fleeing piggies. Several manage to hurl themselves out of the way, others are simply too focused on running to look back and are crushed by several tons of metal driving them into the pavement and shredded by my scales. Rolling with the momentum in a clumsy seldom seen snake cartwheel to plant myself in the path of the survivors as a giant wall of death before the horrified monsters. I dropped the boar in my mouth as its bones audible shatter between my jaws, smiling cruelly down at the prey trapped between me and the three locals.

  I laughed slowly at the utter hopelessness in the faces of these pigs, none of them showing the courage of Chad as I hummed, "I said, 'These little piggies never made it home' little piggies."

  A low electrical hum fills the air as my Myoelectric mutagen goes live again and I use the added strength to hurl my head forward, impaling one boar before swinging my head to the side as a massive spiked club that sends another flying into the side of the store. The remaining six boars split up, four trying to break past the three locals while two try to flee around me while I'm not looking. Too bad for them that their little hooves clacking on the pavement makes their location blatantly obvious to me as I raise my tail high. The four trying to make it past the locals are swiftly torn apart by blades, claws, and teeth, the two trying to sneak past me are crushed flat as I curl my tail into a massive metal hammer and bring it slamming down with a thunderous boom. As their bodies are smashed into a thin red paste, a new notification pops up signaling an end to the fighting much to my relief and regret.

  –Event Quest: Under Siege complete!–

  –96/114 Beasts Defeated!–

  –CalculatingParticipation…–

  –2/114 Enemies Disabled - 41 Killing Blows.–

  –Performance: Unbelievable–

  –SysAutoGen_EQReward…–

  –Received: Minor Fusion Token–

  –SysAutoGen_BonusLoot…–

  –Received: Random Skill Token B–

  Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on the original website.

  –Gained 250xp!–

  –Gained 2pts!–

  –Prehensile Tail leveled up!–

  –Gained 3xp!–

  I take a deep shuddering breath that I let out as a satisfied purr that ends in a low rumbling giggling fit to help work myself down from my battle high and work to force my mask of civility back into place. I doubt the calming ritual or wide rictus grin still on my face did anything to calm the locals who were watching me with blatant wariness. I don't blame them, I'd be just as wary if I saw some titanic metallic snake slam down into the street singing wildly as it cut down several of the monsters I'd been fighting. I doubt the fact I was once again completely coated in mud, blood, and dust did anything to help the very negative impression I was painting. Not that they weren't wearing more than a little blood themselves, especially the sugar glider, but that was fairly localized while I was practically painted in grime

  "Dang it, and I just had a bath this morning too." I moan with frustration. I probably lost my hat at some point in that whole tussle as well so I'd have to- oh! No, it was still on my head. How!?

  Giving the hat a poke I found that it appeared to be literally glued to my head in two places, likely by Matilda. I did have to question when and why she did that, but it was nice not to lose my hat in a fight for once. Though it likely needed a wash just as badly as I did at this point. I really hope that they had somewhere for me to wash up.

  As I turned to look at the three locals they all flinched and the sugar glider stood on his hind legs showing off the underside of his rodent wings. Ew! He had like a dozen gnashing jaws on those flesh wings of his! That's amazingly messed up! No wonder those pigs he'd wrapped up were screaming like that.

  Shaking off my fascination with the messed up biology the system had inflicted upon the individual I fell back to my well ingrained manners and tilted my hat to the three, "G' evenin' folks. I'm here on behalf of the folks staying in the park. We were told they'd lost contact with you, perhaps Matilda mentioned me?"

  "She did mention a friend signaling the start," the spider grumbled, "Wasn't expecting an insane snake."

  "He's lying," the gliding rodent with too many mouths sneered, "I know Agatha. I was her last chance, she wouldn't have sent anyone else after I didn't return."

  "Oh, are you Markus?" I asked, I took the shocked blink as confirmation, "Anna was looking for you, she's the one who told us about the situation. Agatha didn't want us to risk ourselves in the venture, I figured we'd be fine."

  "Anna sent you?" Markus finally dropped onto all fours again, "She didn't come with you did she?"

  "Yeah?" I tilted my head in a snakey shrug, "She wanted to try and find you. No clue where she is, Matilda led her to a different group," Markus began to radiate worry, "She's probably, she's a pretty tough species and Matilda probably was looking after her."

  Markus immediately bolted back towards the church quietly spewing a stream of curses leaving the three of us in an awkward silence until the emu cleared his throat, "Forgive us for our distrust, we have had a rough time of things since the recent event and are rather on edge. We had begun to lose hope when you and your companions arrived. I'd like to thank you for aiding us in our time of need. If there's anything we can do to thank you within reason, we will do all in our power to grant it."

  "It's fine my guy," I used my tail to wave him off, letting him know I took no offense to their reasonable caution, "I absolutely understand, had to deal with a gang trying to turn slavers back in the metroplex, I get it. That and I probably look a right fright at the moment. Don't suppose you've got somewhere for me to wash up? I'd rather not let all this blood and mud rot between my scales."

  "There is a large fountain pond in front of the church that should be big enough for you enough for you," the emu man smiles softly, "though it has been rather stagnate for, well, however long it has been. I can't guarantee its freshness."

  "It's better than trying to fit in a creek to get clean," I smile politely. "Thanks for offering, ah, sorry, I'm afraid I didn't get your name."

  "My apologies as well," the emu chuckled, "It seems we've both forgotten our manners after recent events. I am Father Granfield, I'm the priest of the Stonewall Church you just helped save." He extended a wing to shake but seemed to realize that we both lacked hands as he bashfully put it away.

  "I'm his brother, Barry," the spider extended one of his blade legs, "Thanks for the assist."

  I clacked my own blade against his own blade appendage, "Name's Joe, and it was nothing, just being a bit neighborly. Oh, Father, I doubt it, but would you be willing to head to the metroplex to ply your trade? I've got some people up there looking for spiritual guidance and have already had some issues spring up from the poor quality of the only local priest we've found." I scowled, "He is very modern and judgmental."

  I can see a bit of a scowl flicker over the bird face of Father Granfield before he answers, "I can sympathize with your struggle child, sadly I'm already rather overbooked here. I've been requested to hurry around the various local churches and gathering sights to preach and give people some sense of normality tomorrow, a commitment I will again be able to try and fulfill thanks to your aid. I sadly don't have a replacement to send or any peers to call upon at the moment."

  "That's fine." I sigh, "I wasn't expecting a yes, but had to ask. Perhaps you might be willing to take my Confessions after I was up and we cook up these pigs?"

  "I'd be more than happy to help you lay down your burdens my son," Father Granfield beamed softly.

  "Wait," Barry interrupted, "You've been cooking things?"

  I boggled at the giant spider man with a look of horror, "You mean you've been eating things raw!?" My voice so thick with shocked disbelief that it seemed to make the two men feel more than a little self conscious.