Gazing dumbly at the boxes of bombs, rockets, and heavy weapons that had likely been fated for the Navy reserve air base across town I found myself thinking back to an old comic from my childhood, specifically a line spoken by one Hand Grenade Man. 'You'd be amazed what people will let you get away with when they know you have a hand grenade.'

  Well, I've now got a lot more than a hand grenade.

  I might not know how to use most of this stuff, but just letting people know that we have heavy weapons and high explosives would make us simultaneously a tempting target and someone people would not be looking to mess with. Sure there were people out there who were now the size of a small building, but these were weapons that made feet of the most durable armor man could make at scale just go away. Heck, for all the confidence I now had in my metal scales, I'm pretty sure even the autocannons could blow holes in me, everything else would reduce me to chunky salsa.

  Of course, not knowing how they worked made using the weapons as a deterrent a double edged sword. Sure they would scare the absolute piss out of anyone who knew we had them, but if they called our bluff we could easily end up killing ourselves with these things. Heck, I didn't even know if this stuff was still functional after however many decades they had been sitting in their boxes. The fact that nothing had gone off either meant that God had been watching out for me or that the explosives had been rendered inert. Do bombs and rockets have a safety that needs to be flipped off? I know nukes do and are stupidly easy to disarm, but I don't know about conventional explosives. I wonder if I'm heavy enough to have one of those autocannons mounted to my tail or head and soak the recoil?

  A vision of me as a mecha-snake firing missiles and autocannons from my head while laying waste to a pack of dinosaurs wearing red and shooting pistols at me made me cackle happily for a moment.

  "Dare I even inquire what that was about?" Matilda asked behind me. Turning I found her being escorted by Raphael and the four people from the store pulling shopping carts.

  "Oh just being entertained by plotting new acts of utter stupidity." I answered happily. She bounced one of her moths off my face for that comment.

  –Wolfram Mutagen has leveled up!–

  –Gained 3xp–

  Really?

  "Well stop that, we've had enough of that until at least lunch," she chided.

  I used my most sad, put upon, and nasally voice I could still manage as I sagged, muttering a mournful, "Okay." in response. She bounced another moth off my face in return. Laughing and dropping the act I eyed the others behind Matilda, frowning inwardly as they each shrank from my gaze. "So what's the deal with you four then?"

  The aardvark nudged the deer forwards, who turned to give the smaller man a betrayed look before taking a couple steps forward and taking a moment to center himself. Admittedly, I was taking the moment to listen to the tinkling, shimmering sound his loose hanging antlers were making. It was a rather curious sound, it had a bit of a wooden quality to it, but also more than a touch of what you'd get from glass chimes. It wasn't bone, ivory, or keratin chimes either, nor was it crystal, what were his horns made out of?

  Realizing the man was actually talking I quickly focused on his mouth and not his still tinkling horns, "-Dustin Lerburg. I wish to assure you that we are in no way associated with those brutish bores. We, along with several others found ourselves accosted shortly after our hatching by several of their associates and rudely informed that we were now in their employ. Those that spoke out against such crude impressment found themselves brutally beaten, though eventually all of us were beaten as part of our 'initiation'. I can honestly say that, should you be amenable to it, that we would like to beseech you for Sanctuary from their reprisals."

  I gave the man a doofy smile as I said, "I like your funny words, fancy man." Internally howling in laughter at the look of horrified befuddlement on Dustin's face I smiled properly and said, "I am indeed amenable to taking in you and your fellow unfortunates. Yet I must warn you, this is very much a conditional sanctuary. While we might have a large surplus of food for now, and a solid base of power, we are not so flush with resources that we can allow for layabouts and those who are unwilling to defend themselves. You join us and we will teach you what we know about fighting, give you a bed, and feed you best we're able. In exchange we expect you to earn your meals through blood, sweat, and tears just like the rest of us. Is that acceptable to you?"

  A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

  All four of them seemed a bit leery of the idea, but the deer himself actually gave a sputtering protest, "Sir, I am a Professor of English! I am not some common laborer to be pressed into service as a levy for combat! I am a man of words, of history and literature! You can't expect me to bloody myself simply on your say so!"

  "Then go back to your gang, I'm sure they'll appreciate your knowledge of literature." I stated bluntly, "Or simply run off across town in hopes of finding someone na?ve or generous enough to let you leech off them. In case you haven't noticed, professor, we've been reset to zero here. We don't need to remember our literary history at the moment! We need people to work the land, build shelters, and drive back the savages who would see the light of civilization extinguished! This is the frontier, and those who don't fight the encroaching wilderness will be consumed by it!"

  Realizing that during my rant my voice had been steadily climbing to a near shout I gave myself a quick shake and lowered my voice, "Perhaps in a few years we will have the luxury of letting you return to your old work as a professor, but that will require us not to have our immediate border threatened by a gang who would happily enslave you. Consider that over breakfast, because we can at least spare you that much."

  The four backed off to confer amongst themselves as Raphael awkwardly hopped closer and Matilda fluttered to her usual place atop my head. They both looked at me oddly before Raphael asked me, "You honestly believe what you were saying don't you?"

  "Yeah," I sighed, spotting Rumi dragging the trailer and being escorted by Shaniqua and Daphne in the distance, "I was hoping that most of the people we run across will be reasonable and we might get the occasional military or police officer willing to work with us on rebuilding society. We simply had too much criminality and literal retards to be able to count on that always being the case. I was hoping for it to take longer before we started running into slavers, psychopaths, cannibals, and worthless dregs but I suppose no such luck there. With luck, those unwilling to accept the world's changed," I gestured with my head at the four who were watching Rumi's with muted awe. "Will be convinced before they get themselves or someone else killed. But, lead a horse to water and all that."

  Rumi set down the chains she was pulling with and opened her mouth, only to be interrupted by the aardvark pointing up at Daphne. "Hey isn't she with those Forties guys?"

  "She does bear a striking resemblance to the bat that was with those ruffians when we were rounded up." Dustin hummed, eyeing her closely.

  "W-what? N-no," Daphne stuttered nervously, her eyes flicking briefly to me, "I'm n-not with t-a gang! I was just a housewife w-who found herself alone when she woke up! I got attacked by a bat myself, s-so maybe people of the same species just look similar!"

  "That is indeed a plausible hypothesis, yes," Dustin hummed, sounding far from convinced.

  "One that can be settled later," I interrupted, "For right now we have several tons of military hardware to move before we can head back and have some breakfast. Daphne, would you go get a couple more people with hands?"

  "I don- Sure, I'll get right on it." she sagged flying off back towards the stadium.

  We watched the bat woman fly off in silence. When she was about two blocks away the aardvark man said, "You know, she probably is with those thugs right?"

  "I must agree with Saul," Dustin stated, "It does seem highly plausible that she is lying to you and likely a scout for the very gang you just chased off."

  "I agree," I admitted, "But it's also equally likely that her story is true and that you are more loyal to the gang than you are letting on and accusing her to sow division." That seemed to bring the four up short and the aardvark's face contorted with affront as he opened his mouth and I pressed on. "Which is why she's being watched, just like you will be watched if you decide to stay with us longer than breakfast."

  Rafael sighed, "I miss simply being able to trust the people around me."

  "I miss being able to ignore the people around me," I replied.

  "I miss being people," Shaniqua grunted, wrapping four of her paws around one of the crates and moving it with short hops over to the trailer Rumi brought. "Anyone else here going to help me move this junk? What even is this?"

  I made sure to wait until Rumi finished shifting a far larger box with ease using her horns before saying "Anti-air missiles and tactical bombs with a smattering of lighter weapons like autocannons." I smiled as Rumi tripped over herself and Shaniqua nearly face planted from an involuntary hop. Both women looked at me disbelievingly as I continued. "I just wish this was the first time I accidentally stumbled upon military grade weaponry."

  "I'm glad that you're going to be leaving soon," Rumi snorted, "Maybe things will get less exciting with you gone."

  "Oh don't worry dear," Matilda said, her antennae giving a happy little wiggle, "Before long you'll start seeing it as routine. You'd be amazed what the human brain can adapt to."

  for me to shamelessly steal. And confirm my worries of certain threads and references aren't flying over your heads.

  Joe - The main character of the story. Currently a giant metal snake with a massive sword at the end of his tail. Seems to have gather an eclectic scattering of skills from expecting civilization to fall, if perhaps not in this fashion. Is currently shamefully nude.

  Damian - A former pot head working warehouses in the middle of trying to go straight and clean himself up when he was turned into a four foot tall velociraptor with bug eyes and cat ears. Hails from Mississippi and has a wife and kids out there. One of the first people encountered in the new world and has recently evolved into a beyond black stealth based evolution. Is wearing an oversized T-shirt an bowie knife.

  Matilda - An old widower married to a military husband who use to be an army nurse who was living alone when she was turned into three foot long fluffy moth that spit spider silk. A long time local who has expressed a hatred of feeling helpless and was found by Damian. Has doubled in size from her evolution and now summons miniature versions of herself. Currently wearing a long striped scarf.

  Jerry - An assumed middle manager type who has offered very little about himself and is often referred to as Gerry by Joe. Has been turned into an ice age armadillo called a Glyptodon and is wearing sweat bands around his ankles and a sock over his tail. Has recently evolved into a heavily armored version of himself and frequently questions or back talks Joe.

  Rumi- A young woman going to school to be an architect while living with her large family who was transformed into a massively muscled horse who fled her home searching for her missing family. Has recently evolved into an even more muscular bicorn thinking it was basically a unicorn and been informed otherwise. Currently wearing a tube top around her neck.

  Kyli - A shy and withdrawn librarian who doesn't talk much unless prompted. Also fled her home in a panic when she was turned into a gecko the size of a car and only stopped when she investigated the smell of fire. Has recently evolved into a horned lizard the size of a tow truck and possesses a very useful ability to generate powerful flashes of light. Currently wearing a cloak borrowed from Joe, though it's starting to get a bit small for her.

  Nolan - A man who use to work as security at Wrangler Stadium and lived with his girlfriend in a cheap apartment complex who was turned into an odd mix of a bumble bee and a japanese murder hornet. Has recently evolved into something that looks like a living hornet's nest and focuses on summons in combat. Currently wearing a jacket tied around his neck.

  Rafael - A rather withdrawn man who has offered very little of himself who arrived with Omar. Is currently a man-sized harpy eagle wearing an oversized tank top. His evolution has resulted in his plumage taking on a rather leafy texture.

  William - A college student who was going to school on a football scholarship with a minor in chemistry who was living near Omar when the event happened turning him into a two headed wolf. Each head seems to contain a separate and independent brain, but so far they seem to be getting along with each other fairly well. Has not shown any obvious changes from his evolution and is currently wearing a leather coat.

  Omar - An old friend of Joe's who is a second generation Salvadorian and was living with his family while working on his marketing degree when he was turned into a sasquatch while at work. Currently Joe's top pick as leader for the group, though he doesn't seem to share Joe's confidence in his ability. Is currently wearing a high vis vest and is currently the only member to wield weapons.

  Jack - A professional gunsmith and hobbyist blacksmith who was living in cheap apartments before getting turned into a giant yellow jacket. Has spent points to give himself a much more human body and expressed frustration at being left behind to work his profession. Currently shamefully naked.

  Shaniqua - A former mother of unclear profession who was living in a cheap apartment when she was turned into a man-sized six legged rabbit. Has since evolved into a four armed rabbit-centaur wearing a sweater who focuses on high speed attacks. She has not spoken to Joe much so much about her remains a mystery.

  Michelle - A friendly and peppy woman of who Joe knows little about. She was turned into an emu with powerful kicks and has since evolved into a larger more dangerous emo with teeth and wing claws. Currently wearing a legwarmer after her second one was destroyed trying to free Joe from the rainbow evolution goo.

  Jeremy - The son of a minor cattle baron who was living in the city for some reason when he was turned into a hyena with a rather corrosive bite. Has recently evolved into something that looks similar to his old form but is apparently raising the dead now. Is currently wearing a ball cap.

  Daphne - A small mysterious bat woman who was caught sneaking around the stadium who claims to have suffered frequent harrowing attacks before stumbling across the stadium crew. She has recently been accused of being a member of the Foritos branch of the Tango Blast gang.

  Dustin Lerburg - A well spoken English professor who has been turned into a deer with chime-esque antlers. He claimed to have been conscripted unwillingly by Tango Blast with other and accused Daphne of being a member.