I didn’t know what else to do, had I stayed there any longer— I would’ve lost my mind. The freezing needles that pierced through my shell of a skin came from those colorless corpses, and just the thought of those bodies was like venom. I felt it spreading through my veins-each second an agony, so I ran out the doors towards the snow white showered roads. The falling white flakes cooling my body felt nice.

  I don’t know how long I’ve run for, but it still doesn’t feel far enough. I could still hear the sound of the ambulances from afar. I understand now that it is them who brought in the colorless.

  I kept running down the unfamiliar roads. I don’t know when or where to stop, and the further down I go the less I know, and I don’t like not knowing—but I am more afraid of going back to that hospital, that hospital filled with covers and crimson dots, the unknown was a better alternative than being there. I pause for a second to breathe in, I look up, and feel the eyes of someone on me. To my right on the 8th floor of a 12 story building, I see through the window’s curtains the glimpse of a silhouette. We stare into each other for a few short moments, before the window’s closing curtain ends our short exchange. I begin to run away, again.

  The streets are void of anyone—empty. Not a single soul was walking outside, and it made no sense. It had just begun to get dark and only the street’s light guides my way—keeping me company as I run down these cruel streets. Further away from the corpses of the place I used to be in, far away from all I know, instead I am here, on the outside, and its getting cold—so cold. I shake.

  My toes, fingers and face suffer from the cold air fighting my thin clothing. No more than a light blue shirt with a light blue pant and the pair of thin slippers protecting my feet from the solid ice. The cold creeps up, using the soles of my feet as roots to further freeze my body until my feet become numb, but I still refuse to go back—nor can I bring myself to. So I keep running down these empty streets. For a second I look back and see my long trail which ends at the horizon, the same horizon where I see in the distance some flashing red and blue lights. The sound of a quiet siren begins to fallow me from a distance, coming closer. In a panic I run towards the dark corridors between buildings, and hide.

  Just like the empty roads, these alleys are just as lonely and just as cruel, but they are darker, much darker. I begin to walk forward slowly, the pain at the root of my feet starting to sting up my nerves, but I keep forward down the alleys. Every so often I would hear the sounds of little animals, and I could see their little colors moving around. They run away in panic whenever I move closer, my presence unwanted as I walk by these lonely cruel dark alleys.

  The cold is only getting worse and each of my limbs too burdensome to move, only my legs still listen but with weakness in each of my strides. So I look around to find shelter, only to see trash and many locked doors, a few random set in each building. I stumble my way to the closest door hoping to get in, but the cold handle doesn’t budge. So I walk down the alley and try again, and again, and again-

  Every door Is closed, each I’ve tried to open gives me the same answer—they tell me to die. I can only keep trying, I can only keep my hope. I stumble my way from door to door, my head falling left to right on each of my strides. Tiny alarms go off from each part of my body, warning me. I was past my limits, and my limbs were beginning to shut down. Time keeps passing by, each second felt like many, and my body keeps falling apart. One by one, seconds go by. One by one, a part of me—slowly dies.

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  My hands no longer respond, instead, I have to push each door with my shoulders as I keep stumbling about. My ears can’t be felt anymore, the same as my toes. I reach the last building’s backdoor, the other buildings are past the long snowy road. They seem so distant, and there I could see a shadow, standing center of the alley on the other side, he looks back at me. Something in his eyes raised my full attention to his figure, and I swear I could almost see through him, like a transparent shape more than a person. It had no color, no fire, no light. Was it—death?

  My knees become week to his stare. I lost my balance, and my entire body’s weight falls on the door to my left, pushing the handle down. I did not expect anything from the door, only another rejection. I try to get a better grip on the handle but my body unexpectedly falls forward, almost as if pushed in, and the door opens. My entire body’s weight falls in—I did not catch my balance.

  The door behind me closed quickly. I throw the slippers I had on to the side, they were wet from the melting ice. Inside this building the cold isn’t any worse, but death still lingered. It was hardly any better. I use the walls to keep my balance, and look around, a dim yellow light makes this new place barely possible to navigate. Behind me is the door that took pity on me, to my left is a red door with a circular see-through window, but nothing could be seen, and to my right a blue decorated door with no special traits, both with different handles.

  My gaze moves to the blue door on my right, the closest of both. My senseless hand touches the door’s handle, and its warmth heals my touch. The fire within can be felt on the handle, even if only by a little. I grab onto the handle to try and open it, but it denies me and my hopes—the door doesn’t budge.

  I turn to the previously mentioned left door behind me. I try to lower my expectations, and reach out towards the handle. A warmth within can be felt from this handle too, but when I try to open it, the answer remains the same. Both doors seduce me, and their handles deny me.

  Only left with one option, I look to my right. Between both the left and right door are stairs leading up to no clear end. The dim light doesn’t reach anywhere near the top. The first step is the hardest, but with each step after, expectations fuel my muscles, giving me enough strength to keep going up, all in hopes that the next door can save me. All for that small hope.

  With my last bit of force I reach the top of the stairs. To my left is a wall, a gray and hard looking wall. To my right is another wall, another gray and harder looking wall. Behind me a dark abyss, the dim light no longer there, instead I see two shinning pair of eyes. My legs collapse, and I fall backwards on the door. Many seconds pass by with my back resting on its hard metal, I can see its handle from the right corner of my eye—It was hope.

  My expectations had already faded away, yet my hand still reaches for the handle. With my dying strength, I push down on the handle—the handle of my last door, the handle of my last hope. The entire weight of my upper body pushed it wide open. My shoulder falls and hugs the floor’s warmth.

  A green carpet covers the entire floor, and the warmth of the room starts hugging me entirely. My hands grab onto the floor to drag my fading body deeper into the dark room. The door behind me closes itself the same way the last did, and I ignore it. I keep pushing myself forward, deeper into the room filled with shelves, shelves that stand tall by each of my sides filled with books. I grab the books and stack them on myself, seeking warmth from them, hoping enough of these will help warm my legs—the legs I don’t feel anymore.

  Each book I take covers me more and more, hiding my entire body. The exhaustion has begun to take its toll on me, my body begins to rest. Yet I remain awake. The darkness in the room feels familiar, this place the same as if it were a dream—but I know this isn’t a dream, because from the corner of my vision, I can see it hidden in between the shelves, the pair of eyes glaring at me.