Eh?

  One day. As I opened my eyes, something strange happened. I couldn't freely move my body, couldn't speak and only able to make meaningless sounds. Not to mention, as I lifted my right hand, all I saw were two small clenched fists that I don’t remember forming.

  How small? As small as a baby who had only been born for a few months. It made me want to check my physical condition, but in the end, I gave up because my palms couldn't even reach my head. They are that short.

  A little while later, as I kept moving around. A young woman, or maybe even a girl? approached me and asked...

  “What's wrong, dear?...”

  Well, she doesn't actually said that, but it's probably something similar. Then she effortlessly lifted and held me close to her modest chest.

  Which should be impossible

  I don't remember my name. But I’m sure that I’m a 25 years old adult woman who is about to graduate from college while working as a part-time cashier at a convenience store. So it's impossible for a seemingly seventeen-year-old girl to lift me up with ease.

  I wanted to slap myself in the face and make sure that I'm dreaming. But since I couldn't even move my hands freely, I had to accept the fact that my life probably had gone into THAT route.

  According to my last memories, I took a shortcut through a dark alley between some high-rise buildings after finishing my part-time job. But before I could get out, someone hit me from behind and knocked me out.

  Judging from the development of the situation, I guess I’m dead. And it should not be wild to assume that I'm experiencing THAT thing. A reincarnation. What a disaster, I haven’t even achieved anything in life. I haven’t even apologized to my ...

  No! Let’s not think about it right now.

  After realizing my abnormal state, I quickly checked my surroundings to figure out where am i. In stories with reincarnation themes, the environment the protagonist enters is usually a new and completely different one from their previous life. From the alternate world, the future, the past, or even different planets altogether. Usually, everything would be very different.

  However, since the furniture and decorations on the wall looked like something I had seen in a museum, being reincarnated in the same time period or in the future was ruled out. The only options left were either the past, maybe another planet or even parallel worlds?.

  Since I don’t understand the language spoken by the people around me, I decide there is no point in choosing between the past in another country or a different world from the one I know. Regardless of how much I think about it, I am just a baby who can't take care of myself. All I can do is cry when I am hungry, cry when I need to go to the bathroom, cry when I am cold, and cry when it is hot. As a baby, all I can do is cry.

  Though when I cry, it doesn’t feel bad. It is very different from when I cry in my previous life, which makes me feel really miserable. As I cry, the woman I identify as my mother always comes to me, not with an angry or annoyed face, but with a happy face that makes her look angry, just like a child. After giving me a gentle scolding, she takes care of my needs, which I know is very troublesome.

  In just two weeks, I already come to consider her as more than just a biological mother. When I am with her, I feel inexplicably happy. Although my mind is already that of an adult, I do not feel uncomfortable receiving baby treatment.

  Wait a minute, I am a baby, so it’s normal. Just as the mind affects the body, the body affects the mind too, I guess.

  Even though I am also a woman, I have no problem at all when I am told to breastfeed from her. In fact, you could say my most enjoyable time is when I am held against her chest and suck its contents.

  It's a pity that I cannot experience it much after half a year has passed. After almost two years, she finally completely stops giving me her milk and just feeds me many strange-tasting foods.

  When I try to ask for it again, she never entertains me and just hits my head, even when I use all my ultimate begging tactics. None of my efforts work. Well, I haven’t tried throwing a tantrum yet, but I feel that’s kind of going too far, so I won’t do it. Well, it's embarrassing too.

  After another year passes, I finally know the answer to the question of "Where am I reincarnated?" Pretty much, there’s only one option left: I am in a parallel world. Even though I sometimes encounter familiar country names, the language I hear feels like something I have never heard before. One time, a foreigner comes to my place. He comes from one of those countries with a familiar-sounding name, yet his language is a complete mystery.

  I’m not a language expert, but with the help of the internet, I know how most common popular languages sound. Though I can only speak two of those languages, I at least know how to identify those widely spoken languages that have been used for hundreds or maybe even thousands of years. Of course, I still need a map to confirm it, though.

  Two and a half years after I arrive in this possibly parallel world, I start to understand what people are saying, although I can only repeat simple words like "mama" and some object names. After all, understanding a language and speaking it are two different skills.

  But my limited language ability is enough to give me some basic information about where I am and how my family is doing. The place where I live is called Amteric, and the small territory near the border is called Tagave. My mother's name is Anneliese, but whether it’s in my head or from my mouth, I always just call her "mother" or "mom."

  Basically, she is a concubine of this country’s crown prince, although her status is that of the crown prince's fourth wife. The person who should be my father only ever comes a few times, and even then, he only visits my mother so they can wrestle in bed. He never even comes to see me; he just looks at me from afar.

  That's why, for me, he is just a stranger. Based on the rules in this kingdom, as my father ascends the throne, I should have the right to advance as a candidate to be queen later on. But because my mother is a commoner and I am just a child born of a commoner secondary queen, my opportunity to grab power is close to zero.

  Though I don't care about any of that. Besides, it seems my mother is also not very well-liked by the nobles of the kingdom. Although my mother and I are legally part of the royal family, we do not live in the palace. Instead, we live on this small patch of land that feels more like a remote village.

  This kingdom practices feudalism, so my mother could be considered wealthy since she has a whole region to manage. However, the area given to us consists of only a few small villages, which doesn’t generate significant taxes. That is why, besides our house and the furniture given by the king, we do not have any other luxurious belongings to call personal property. Because of this, we do not have extra money to pay for servants other than those already provided for us and paid for by my father.

  When I finally walk, I realize that my mother does not just sit around and enjoy the services others provide. She works hard to manage her territory alone, even though she is just a commoner.

  My life as a princess is not at all what I imagine. It is not glamorous; I cannot just order people around, and, of course, what I wish cannot be granted willy-nilly. But that kind of thing is not even a problem.

  Although there are some difficulties here and there, overall, my current life is much better than my life before. My life is fine, and everything is going smoothly. There are no more stressful days.

  The main reason I feel that way is probably because I'm still a young child. My age is probably around three years old, so even when I do something wrong, troublesome, or annoying, my mother always forgives me. She even praises me when I can do simple things and smiles happily when I call her "mama."

  I had a blank period for a few months, and it seems there is no culture of celebrating birthdays here. So I can't actually determine my current age until someone decides to tell me when I was born though.

  My mental age is much older than hers, and sometimes she acts like a child when playing with me too. If I were still in my old body, honestly it would be more appropriate to treat her as my younger sister.

  But even though she's young, she's really mature. Much more mature than I was at the same age. When I was her age, all I did was waste my parents' money, then played with my friends all day. Making everyone worried.

  I even used to argue with my father and cursed at him even though I knew I was in the wrong. After that, I often shamelessly asked for something from them, even while speaking disrespectfully.

  I even used to play the queen and bullied my underclassmen.

  Goddamn, how the heck have I become such a horrible person? If I could meet my past self, I really want to beat her to a pulp.

  My past self is so different from my current mother.

  There are currently no servants at home because they went to the other city to buy supplies. Because they need to purchase quite a lot of items, They need a lot of people too. Hence the current situation.

  Usually, a merchant comes to this place, but he hasn't shown his face at all this month for some reason.

  The remaining people were just two scary-looking guards at the front gate, and also an old man who is responsible for taking care of a small garden behind our house. And because none of them were suited to perform household tasks. My mother, who is literally the queen of the place, is forced to cook food for me.

  Well, forced may not be the right word. I mean, she didn’t mind it after all.

  If I can, I want to help her too. But she said something about how playing with fire and sharp objects is too dangerous and only allowed me to watch. Of course, just like usual I didn't know if that is exactly what she said, but at least I knew what she is trying to convey through her gestures.

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  Moreover, with my current body, what I can do is very limited anyway. Even with a chair, I cannot reach the cupboard to get salt and sugar or anything. And my body is so weak I'm probably going to drop anything that I hold with these tiny hands.

  While continuously looking at the recipe left by the maid, my mother clumsily cooked. If it were me in the past, I might have become impatient and scolded her. But the current me can appreciate that what she does is proof that she really cares about me.

  From her pace, it seems like I still need to wait for quite a long time. Some people worked faster when no one is looking at them, so I decided to leave and give her some space.

  I leave the kitchen and head to the library, which also serves as my mother's workspace. There are many piles of paper scattered on the table. I think about helping her, but once again, not only am I still unable to speak the words, I am, of course, still unable to read the writing too.

  Although I could understand a few words, when it came to writing. I didn't even know the basics and am completely illiterate. With spoken words, I could see the speaker's expressions and what they were pointing at. But that couldn't be applied to writing.

  To train my reading and writing skills, I plan to ask my mother to read me some books later so I need to look for good material first.

  Don't know what's counted as good though.

  About half an hour later, my mother came to get me. At exactly the same time I am finally able to find a book with some pictures in it too. She approached me while carrying a small bowl, but when she tried to pull me to a chair and feed me. I refused and raised my hand to ask for the bowl in her hand instead.

  To make sure she wouldn't misunderstand and think that I wanted to be carried, I quickly spoke with my limited vocabulary.

  "Eat ...myself."

  She blinked a few times, but then immediately smiled and lowered her body.

  "Don't make a mess, okay..."

  “Yes...”

  I nodded, and she gave me the bowl.

  She had a lot of work to do, and although I couldn't help. At least I should not waste her time. If she could finish her work faster, she could also rest faster.

  My mother returned to her desk and continued her work. Meanwhile, I sat in the corner of the room while eating. She looked at me again and asked

  "How does it taste?"

  "Gud... ."

  Honestly, It's really bland. She is far taller than the child me so I find it hard to believe that she can't even take some salt and sprinkle it on my lunch. Did she forget it?

  Unlike the strange-tasting food usually made by servants, this food really has no taste. And strange is still better than no taste at all.

  I don't know what the name of the dish I'm eating is. But one thing is clear, no food should ever taste like plain water. But I won't complain.

  Who would have the heart to complain to someone who gave you food that they made with great effort? If I were to buy it from them, I would certainly complain. But I am just receiving her generosity. I am not giving her anything in return for her effort.

  Don't take someone's kindness for granted, is one of my current mottos.

  That's why I won't complain.

  As soon as I finished eating, I quickly left the room without bothering her.

  This time, I will explain the second reason I prefer my current life.

  Apart from having better relationships with my mother, it seems my economic situation here is also much better. Our income, although not much, is stable. If the population increases, our life would become better too.

  Although we are just a country bumpkin, we are still part of the royal family. So even if there are people who don't like us, there won't be any cases of bullying or the like. And if someone scammed us on something, it means they have defrauded a member of the royal family.

  Security is guaranteed and our needs are fulfilled. If I were an otaku soldier sent to another world, I might say that my life consists of eating and sleeping, and my hobby, while everything else is something in between those three things.

  At this rate, I think being a shut-in NEET is fine too.

  “No! No! No! No! No! ...”

  In my previous life, I was already a bad person. If I become useless here, I will only become garbage. And garbage is meant to be thrown away. Besides, I have no reason to burden my mother who has worked hard to raise me.

  I don’t need to be the most decent person in the world to want to show some gratitude towards my parents.

  Since I am still not allowed to leave the area around the house, usually when there is nothing to do. I would explore the house. My house looks like a vampire's castle and has many dark rooms. So exploring it is kinda fun. It's a little bit scary, but scary is fine too. It's better than boring.

  Two hours later, my mother came out of the library heading toward the kitchen while carrying my bowl. While I too, already finished my adventure inside our big house.

  As soon as she saw me in the hallway, she approached me, squatted down, and matched her height to mine. Her facial expression is not like her usual self. This time, she did not have the gentle expression that I often see, but rather a serious expression.

  Is she angry because I forgot to put back my bowl in the kitchen?

  I don't know. But... .

  I decided that I will apologize to her. I honestly forgot about the bowl, but such reasoning usually will not be enough to get me out of trouble. People are better at remembering a mistake rather than their good deeds. Some wiseman once said, a person is remembered not for the rules they obey, but for the rules they break.

  This issue is nothing big. But if I don't apologize right away, I'm sure she will keep bringing it up again and again. And because I still have memories of my past life, I'm not sure if I can hold back my old bad habit from arising and ending up saying hurtful things to her.

  Okay. Take a deep breath.

  I don't want my relationship with my new mother to turn sour. I don't want my relationship with her to be like the one I had with my mother in my past life. My mother truly loves me, so I don't want to mistreat her and repeat my past mistakes.

  “Huu... I’m sowiii”

  My mother looked at me with a puzzled expression.

  “Why are you so tense? And why are you apologizing?”

  Now, It’s my turn to put on a puzzled face while looking at her.

  “Hey, Amelie...does Mom look scary?”

  I shake my head. No one could say that my mother looks scary. If she looked scary, how could I be born? I mean, how could a prince marry a girl who looks scary? I don't know the beauty standards of this world, but I'm very sure that this girl is very beautiful. Correction, this woman is very beautiful.

  Wait... Another correction. My mother is beautiful.

  Having a mother who is younger than you is somewhat confusing. Even if it's only mentally.

  “Are you scared of Mama?”

  Of course not. Why should I be afraid of you? And why have all of your questions been somewhat ... . strange?

  "Then why did you lie?"

  “?”

  Lie? What lie did I even tell her? Is this a case where I did nothing wrong but blamed for something? If I had a sibling and they spoke ill of me in front of my mother. I could still understand being blamed without reason, but I don't even have any siblings.

  Ah, I see. So she doesn't trust me.

  There is no one else in this house except for me, my mother, and the servants and guards. If she heard something bad about me, it must have been from one of them. In other words, an outsider.

  I lowered my head and look at the floor, then sigh.

  “Hah... .”

  She trusts other people more than her own child. This kind of situation is not new at all. My previous parents were the same too. They would trust our neighbors more than their own children because they thought their children are not trustworthy enough.

  And because of that, I did become an untrustworthy person.

  If someone says that I am misbehaving, doing something bad to other children, or making some mistakes, my parents will believe it and scold me for the reason of educating me. They will ask me to apologize even if I am not at fault and compare me to other children whom they consider to be much better.

  Getting the same treatment in this new world and even from those whom I thought loved me so much is quite painful. Am I not trustworthy or her trust in me is that low? Well. There is no difference.

  The result is the same either way.

  “How is your lunch?”

  “... .???”

  What?

  What kind of question is that?

  “When you say it tastes good, you are lying right?”

  So, we've been talking about your bland homemade food all this time? I thought you had already tasted it when you gave it to me and decided that it was good enough. So, you also only just found out that your cooking is bland?

  Stupid. So stupid. My mind is already wandering here and there thinking about serious stuff, but you bring up such a trivial matter? If that's all you want to talk about. I already came up with a good excuse that would make your heart melt.

  "Mama. . tired."

  How is that? My answer was good, right? With an answer like that plus the cuteness of a little child. I will make you cry tears of joy.

  “Awww ... .”

  That is what I'm thinking, but the reality is different. She pinched my cheeks.

  "What are you talking about? It’s ten years too early to worry about me."

  She keeps pulling my cheek again and again, each time, harder than before. And now she even smiled while hurting my precious cheeks.

  "And who do you think I am?..."

  “Mama. . “

  Upon hearing my answer, she smiled even wider than before. Then, her pinch on my cheek became even more painful.

  Please stop it already, I know my cheek looks soft and very pinchable. But the pain started to become quite unbearable.

  “Yes... I am your mother! So don't behave like that again!"

  Behave like what? I don't remember ever misbehaving in front of her. Does she not like me visiting the old gardener behind the house? Does she not like it when I come home with dirty clothes? You never say anything when you see me, so I think it's okay. But if you don't like it, I will stop.

  “I am your mother!! You don't have to follow everything I say! Occasionally, you can refute my words! Show me that cute annoyed face of yours sometimes too! If you want something, you can be stubborn! And if you don't want to do something, I will allow you to be obstinate.”

  You really said something crazy. If any parents heard your words, I'm sure they would be very angry with you. How could you ask a child who is already trying to behave well to be naughty like that?

  Do you think I never feel annoyed? I also get angry at you sometimes, and if I could, I would protest about so many things to you. But I hold back. Do you know why? Because I know you don’t live an easy life, and taking care of me just adds to your difficulties. That’s why I try to be an understanding kid and reduce your burden.

  Don't just tell me to throw away all of my hard work like that, you irresponsible mother!!

  "You can act like that when I'm old and dying! Don't try to act all grown up in front of me like that."

  What an insensitive mother. If you really want me to turn into a bad kid. Fine, I’ll become a naughty kid who plays a prank on everyone. How about I started playing a prank on you right now? Let me squeeze your boobs.

  Wait, why am I thinking like a perverted man?

  "You are my child! And I am your mother! So it doesn't matter if you're not perfect! If you can't see, I will always guide you! If you can't walk, I will carry you! If you want something, I will give it to you! If you don't like something, I will keep it away from you! And even if you fight with someone else, I will be on your side!"

  Why do you have to say something like that?

  "And of course, if you're in danger, I'll protect you even if it cost my life! After all, I'm your mother."

  Stupid!!! I'm really stupid!! What have I been thinking about her all this time?

  What kind of a wicked person am I? How could I think badly about someone who has taken care of me since birth, and loved me with their heart and soul? How could I immediately decide that they are a bad parent just because they do not act according to my wish?

  “Sob...”

  "Uh... wait...why are you crying, is your cheek hurting?"

  My mother suddenly panicked when she saw my tears starting to pour.

  "I'm sorry... Amelie"

  The ones who are unable to trust are not her, but me. Even though I promised to start a new life and start everything from scratch. But why in this new world of mine, do I still carry my old grudges? Why do I still have my bad habits, and why can't I still trust this person who loves me so much?

  “Mamamaa... .”

  “Amel... .”

  I hugged her tightly. But because my arms were still short, I could only reach the side of her back. Then she hugged me back and tightened her grip with both of her arms around me.

  "I'm sorry. Mama wasn't angry earlier, okay? Please don't cry."

  Starting today, just like how she trusts me, I will also trust her. Just like how she loves me, I will also love her. She is my mother and I am her child. My memories from the previous world have nothing to do with this.

  I was given a chance to be a child again, to start everything anew, to fix my past life that could no longer be fixed.

  That’s why, from now on. I will work hard to make the person who always thinks of my happiness, happy. I will care for those who care about me. And of course, I will give my love to the person who loves me.

  I will not repeat my past mistakes. I will learn from all my faults. And in this second life. I will work even harder.