She had drifted all the way down to the docks when she realized that Verne had not, in fact, wanted to talk about the mission tomorrow. A part of her wanted to be spared the awkward talk. Both she and Verne never promised anything to each other and given the state of things… What did it matter how they felt to each other?

  Another part of her wondered if that was just the flighty part of her thinking that. That part that refused to be tied down to a place or thing in case it got taken away from her again. The part that would rather have nothing than have it torn from her.

  “The moon is out tonight,” Verne said. “I thought you would want to be out for that.”

  Of course, she wasn’t able to see it - she knew Verne knew. Aris turned into her physical form and Verne readily held her arm to steady her. She lowered her hood and turned her face up to the night sky and swore she could feel the pale glow of the moon on her face. She tried not to tremble as she gripped Verne’s hand while a deep devastation surged through her. It wasn’t feeling like a Gate had opened as it came directly from her heart.

  What she wouldn’t do to see the moon again. Just one last time.

  Aris had no idea how long they stood there. She vaguely registered something being draped over her shoulders to protect her from the ocean winds. Then she felt herself being drawn close to a warm body. Before she knew it, she was enveloped in his deep, warm green solute. His warmth drew her out of whatever reverie the moon casted her into and she slipped her arms around his torso and held him back.

  “We will fix your sight eventually,” Verne said. She could feel his voice reverberate through his body.

  “Oh? And how so?”

  “Laell and that sister of hers will probably have a few ideas. If not, I'll find another specialist. “

  “You don’t have to do anything for me,” Aris scoffed. She thought about Camaz and the Academy and his ‘connections’, but now that they seemed to be compromised… Perhaps Rask would be the better bet to find someone for the job? If anything, another Part would be the one to fix it. She hadn’t thought about fixing her sight at all.

  “But I want to. I wish to be with you.” There was an awkward pause. Amused, Aris let it linger in the air. “As a partner… Or a husband.”

  She thought of a thousand ways to tease his fumbling confession but the reality of the next day sobered her. It didn’t matter how happy it made her since it was a lost cause anyway. She shouldn’t be encouraging it - she shouldn’t be wrapped in his arms like his lover. But she couldn’t move away, even if she forced herself to say the dreaded things she didn’t want to say.

  This novel's true home is a different platform. Support the author by finding it there.

  “Ralos and I both know our chances of surviving aren't very high,” she said bluntly. “One or both of our deaths may even be required to put all this to an end. We don’t know for certain.”

  “Like you say, you don’t know.”

  “We are all preparing for the worst. I don’t… I don’t think we should do this. We, too, should prepare for the worst.”

  “How I feel for you is perhaps one of the few things that has nothing to do with those damned Gates,” Verne muttered.

  “But if I die tomorrow, it will make it harder for you. It has a lot to do with the Gates.”

  “You will not die tomorrow.” He held her tighter as if willing the words to be true.

  “I’ve had a long time to make peace with it,” she whispered. “My life is not my own. If I’m gone, promise me you’ll move on. Someone who doesn’t insult the gods, someone better.”

  “I don’t want someone better.” The devastation was now in his voice. The tone gripped her heart. “I want you.”

  “You can have me until the sun comes up,” she replied. “Then you’ll know I’m not that big a deal.”

  “Never,” he whispered back. One of his hands took hers and held them strong. “I will never think that.”

  And so they spent the night on the cold docks: him looking at the sky and her looking at his solute and listening to his heartbeat. Aris couldn’t think of the last time when she enjoyed herself so much. But still… she still couldn’t help thinking it wasn’t right.

  Funny, there was a time when she wouldn’t have hesitated to break hearts or end lives to get what she wanted. But here she was now, more worried about a man’s feelings over her own safety. After all these years, Rask still loved Nilda - he still mourned her. For some reason, she couldn’t bear the thought of Verne suffering the same fate.

  “We should go now,” she finally said as one last feeble attempt at putting a stop to it. His hand squeezed hers again but she slipped out of his grasp.

  “Are you preparing for the worst case scenario?” he asked gently.

  “Yes.”

  “Aris, we are already doing that. There’s no need for more of it.”

  “In the physical, practical sense, yes,” Aris said. “But now let’s prepare in the mental sense.”

  “Mental or emotional?”

  “Both.”

  “I’m not going to do that.”He took her hands again and she let him. “Because in my heart and in my mind, instead of thinking of the worst, I would rather have hope.”

  When Aris first met him, he was an awkward Sekrelli almost fearful of runes, insomuch he nearly talked himself into starving himself. But he pushed on to be a star manus student. Out east, he refused to let her die even knowing about her hubris. Even when her own brother thought it would be merciful and logical for her to die, Verne wanted her to live. Upon seeing all he’s ever known about his family disintegrate before his eyes, he still wanted to help her. He saw there was an end to this madness and he wanted to be a part of it.

  Hope. This man was brimming with it. Maybe it was time she had some of that herself.

  “Alright,” she said in a rare show of deference. “In my heart and mind, I will have you instead.”