Chapter 11

  Despair will find you. It is impossible to go through life without feeling it. It will make you wish to hide and cower and give in to its embrace. When the time comes, lash out like a cornered animal, fight with every ounce of your being and drive it back.

  -Collected Teachings of the Exalted Sovereign

  Dasos as a Holy City of the Exalted Sovereign was specifically one dedicated to warrior Ignited. However, a city cannot stand on the tips of spears. A third branch of Ignited existed beyond warriors and the smiths that armed them, the Artisans: doctors, artists, musicians, diplomats, and craftsmen filled the ranks as there was more than one avenue of improving oneself. The city invited a token number to the city along with any family they may have to keep everything running smoothly.

  The most popular among these in Dasos were the chefs, as warriors weren’t exactly known for cooking anything other than whatever meat they hunted if they could get away with it. The Feast Halls, as they were known, dotted the city landscape, taller than houses, with bright signs to attract warriors returning from hunts and their families to their tables. The competition, as with all Ignited, was fierce. Where there was competition between chefs, there was delicious food.

  The Lion’s Share was the choice for tonight. The tables were full, large mugs and glasses were filled with liquors and spirits, and the savory scent of well-seasoned meats filled the warm air. Dom was already three mugs of ale in and he, Zenovia, and Phaidros had only been there for ten minutes.

  Outside of his armor, the zhuk was still a mountain beside everyone around him. His skin was pale with a purple tinge to it and his eyes had no pupils and seemed metallic with scintillating colors gleaming off of them depending on how the light hit them. His hair was more like flexible spines which he kept short and bunched up in a small topknot. From how Zenovia had described the zhuk, Phaidros had expected them to look a lot more bug-like, but despite a few key differences they seemed completely human. A human with weird eyes and antlers on his head and everything else. His uniform was decorated with various metals and he wore fur over his shoulders tied in the front by a heavy chain. Phaidros had remembered seeing him in his igniting ceremony, and thought it strange how quickly they went from strangers to companions. He was one of the most decorated people in the hall, with Zenovia only wearing a necklace of various claws over her uniform and a single, silver badge with an arrow pointing upward pinned just under her left shoulder.

  Dom was regaling a story to Zenovia about some campaign he fought in on some far-off world, with Zenovia looking at him as if he wasn’t entirely telling the truth but suffering through the story anyway. Phaidros meant to pay more attention but he was lost in his own thoughts, staring down at the foaming drink in front of him, watching as the individual bubbles popped. The fight still bothered him, how easily he had been tossed aside, how the Shaped Beast before them would be even worse. He was going to die and not even the flame that burned within him managed to quell the buzzing swarm of doubts in his head, gnawing and biting at him relentlessly until he felt a weight shove his shoulder.

  “You look like you are staring death in the face, little friend,” Dom said, grinning widely. “And he is not saying very comforting things. When I see death, I plan to give him a good punch so he knows to give me a good new life when I reincarnate,” the zhuk added, looking to Zenovia and hoping to get an amused smile but received none.

  Zenovia’s attention was on Phaidros, her intense stare softened ever so slightly into one of concern. “What’s wrong, Phaidros?” she asked.

  Phaidros sighed, not answering immediately as he pulled his drink closer, looking like he was about to take a swig before deciding against it and answered, “I’m just worried is all.” The confidence and determination were gone now, muted. “For this hunt.” He looked to Dom. “I could barely crack through your armor today and I’m supposed to try and hunt the beast that killed my father in a few weeks. I am no longer feeling confident that this is going to end well,” he admitted, shoulders slumped in defeat.

  Zenovia and Dom shared a glance before looking back to Phaidros. “So, you want to give up then?” Zenovia asked, tone calm.

  “I don’t know,” Phaidros answered softly before he met her gaze. “I don’t know if vengeance is truly so important to me. I’d have to move away from the city, yes, find somewhere else to live and work, but as long as my brother was with me I don’t think it would matter all that much,” he said. “Yes he’s cindered and would have trouble but we would be able to get through it I think. I could just make Suneater douse my potential and walk away. It would be easy and I wouldn’t have to follow my father into the grave to do it.” He looked to Dom next. “You’d have a much better chance at finishing off the beast than me so I should let you. To continue forward now is suicide.”

  Both of the other Ignited were silent for a time, Zenovia’s frown deeper than before and Dom’s smile softened. Zenovia was the first to answer. “Being in the Order isn’t for everyone, it is a commitment to live by the teachings of the Exalted Sovereign but more importantly it is a commitment to yourself, to look deep inside of yourself and say that you wish to be better and will take the steps to do so.”

  Dom then added, “Think of it like this, right now you are faced with a difficult, near impossible challenge ahead of you.” Zenovia shot a glare to Dom but Dom continued regardless. “You could turn away from it and find an easier path, many people choose to do this thing, but what do you gain from it? Don’t say your life.” He quickly jabbed a finger into Phaidros’ shoulder before he could retort. “I know you are scared, you have every reason to be, Phaidros, my little friend, but fear is a part of everyday life and I would say the most important part.”

  “That doesn’t sound right,” Phaidros retorted, wincing.

  “It is!” Dom replied, picking up his ale and taking an audible slurp from it before putting it down and facing Phaidros more directly. “Fear is when we are the most alive. Fear makes the heart pump harder and faster with adrenaline, fear forces you to move away or toward the source.” His wide grin returned. “And no matter what decision you make, you learn more about yourself, your limits, what you can and cannot do, fear forces you to change and change is what life is all about.”

  “So you’re telling me I can run from this?” Phaidros asked, confused at the point.

  “Hah! I am telling you the opposite. Normal people get the choice to run and hide from fear, Ignited though? An Ignited should seek it out wherever it may be because feeling fear means we are close to something that will make us better.” He jabbed a finger at Phaidros’ shoulder again. “Like today, you were scared to face me in the ring, yet you did it and came out alive and with a big strong friend, yeah?” He flexed one arm as he looked at Phaidros.

  “Yeah…?” Phaidros repeated with uncertainty.

  Dom then shifted, lifting a finger. “From what you have told me, this was one week of training and you managed to do this. Before that? You were not even Ignited. You are focusing on the negatives here, little friend. A week ago you were not Ignited, you were afraid but in that moment of fear you chose to take one step forward and become so. In one week you have broken one of my armor plates, something some Ignited with years of training couldn’t do, think of what you will be able to do the next week? And the week after that?”

  Phaidros opened his mouth to respond and then closed it, thinking. There was some sense to what he said. He was terrified to become Ignited, he was terrified to face Dom, yet he did both of those things and managed to walk out mostly unscathed. Those were both choices that didn’t end with him dying however. He still wasn’t sure, a grimace formed on his face as he considered.

  Zenovia then spoke. “You did all this so you wouldn’t have to leave your brother alone, right? You’re trying your best to protect him. That’s why you became Ignited and that’s why you’re considering leaving. Ignore him.” She says with a dismissive wave of her hand. Phaidros blinked but Zenovia continued before he could speak, tone heated. “You say you’re doing all of this for him, but from everything I’ve heard, you just don’t want to be alone.” She pressed her index finger against the table, leaning in. “It is good to have other people to fight for and with, to help inspire you to go beyond wherever you were before, but at the end of the day you need to think about yourself and for yourself. Your brother needs to do the same, you can lean on each other all you want but you also need to be able to stand on your own two feet.” She sat back upright, her usual, calm demeanor taking hold again. “So I ask you, without your brother here, without any other people here that would be waiting for you, would you run away?”

  Dom seemed to like where this was going, because his grin was wider than ever as he excitedly turned to Phaidros waiting to hear his answer. Phaidros sat stunned, Zenovia’s words piercing through him like an arrow. He was using his brother as an excuse wasn’t he? Some part of him felt ashamed for that. He had talked big at the beginning of this all, saying grand things about avenging their father and making sure he wouldn’t leave his brother behind. Yet the second things began to look truly dangerous, he was again using his brother as an excuse so that he could run away? He looked downward. “I…” he began, struggling to find the words. “You’re right, Zenovia, I have been rather cowardly in all this haven’t I?” He looked to Dom. “And you’re also right, I have made a lot of progress in a short time,” he said with a small smile before he ran a hand through his hair, gripping and pulling back at it as he struggled through his thoughts. “If I wasn’t worried about my brother… I think I would wish to see this through to the end and defeat the beast.”

  At that, Dom slammed his hand on the table a few times in cheer, nearly knocking the drinks over as he grabbed Phaidros’ shoulder and shook him before pushing his way out of his seat to look at the crowd, pointing at Phaidros. “You see this man here? This man is going to kill a Shaped Beast!”

  “Why do you have to make a scene?” Zenovia muttered with an exasperated sigh, rubbing at one of her temples.

  “A drink! To the Shaped killer!” Dom shouted, raising his mug into the air, the other patrons looked at them in slight confusion, Phaidros seeming the most embarrassed of all, and yet they still raised their mugs and cheered. Dom gulped his drink down in three loud, audible gulps then sat back down besides Phaidros. “Do not worry, little man, you have my protection. Besides, a challenge like this? You’re following in the footsteps of the Exalted Sovereign himself.”

  “Aren’t all Ignited in the Order?” Phaidros asked.

  Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.

  “Everyone wants to be the Exalted and Sovereign part, but many people just drop the third part. He who Defies! The first identity he ever got. The Exalted Sovereign who Defies.”

  Phaidros knew this, but Dom was right in some regard. No one really called him “The Exalted Sovereign who Defies.” They just called him “The Exalted Sovereign.” Perhaps because it begged the question, what was he defying? Isn’t it others who would defy someone who is an Exalted and someone who is a Sovereign? “What do you mean?” he asked.

  “You are defying expectations of course! The big Shaped monster is supposed to turn you into a smear on the jungle floor but you will kill it. What else will you do?” He laughed. “This will be exciting to see.”

  “Besides,” Zenovia said with a shrug, “you have the benefit of having knowledge of what you’re going up against. The final gift your father could give you.” She didn’t say that with pride. “We’re not going to let it get the better of us this time. Your armor will only take a day or two to regrow the new plates and then we’ll be able to continue training.”

  “In the meantime! I will show you how we train back on Rodina,” Dom exclaimed. “Then you will no longer be a little man but a big strong man. Not as big and strong as me, but it will be the second-best thing.” He hesitated before correcting himself. “Third-best thing. The women back home are even bigger and stronger.”

  Zenovia cleared her throat to try and redirect the conversation away from wherever Dom intended on dragging it. “We can talk about training another day. For now you’ve won a great victory today, Phaidros, you should celebrate it.”

  “Yes! The Exalted Sovereign would strike us down if we do not celebrate properly, so you are going to need to drink.” He pushed Phaidros’ mug closer to him. “Drink a lot! Let the future be a problem for tomorrow for one night.”

  Phaidros smiled at the two of them. His mood now was lighter than it had been but a few minutes prior. Though he realized he hadn’t actually even agreed to keep hunting the beast; he had only answered Zenovia’s hypothetical situation. Yet now it seemed wrong to bring that up, Dom already calling to the serving bar to start sending over plates of various dishes, half of them Phaidros didn’t recognize the name of. Phaidros took a deep breath and finally took a long pull from his drink, washing away his doubts for the moment and allowing himself to finally see today for the victory it was. Dom was right, he had accomplished much in a week and he was curious to see what he could accomplish in the next.

  The proceeding feast lasted for hours into the late night. Eventually the alcohol did make Phaidros feel better. Even Zenovia seemed to get nearly as boisterous as Dom was as the night progressed. It ended with Zenovia having to drag Dom out because he was intent on going into the back kitchens because he could not believe that they didn’t have “Szeraze” which he insisted was something every chef worth their fire would have.

  Phaidros ended up walking alone the rest of the way home. The moment he walked through the front door it felt like a weight settled on his shoulders, exhaustion overcoming him like a wave. Today was a tempest of highs and lows and he was happy to be done with it. He hadn’t slept in a few days, so he decided to go easy on himself tonight and give himself some rest. The moment he hit the mattress, he fell asleep.

  The next day, Phaidros’ armor still hadn’t fully repaired itself. He had never seen how the armor repaired itself, since it had never been so badly damaged before. Where all of the plates had been destroyed there were now yellow-white plates forming in their place with the plates that were only cracked turning more of a dark brown. Phaidros did not like the fact that when he poked the yellow-white spots, the armor was squishy. He tried not to think about that as he headed out into the city proper to meet up with Dom and Zenovia. They had agreed last night that they could not train today, but that didn’t mean they couldn’t strategize—and meet with their smith to see if she had anything to help them yet.

  The three stood outside of Daxia’s Hoard with Phaidros knocking on the door. They were met with silence for about a minute and began to wonder if now was a bad time, when the door opened and Daxia stood there rubbing one eye. “Yeah?”

  The second Dom saw her he immediately slid behind Phaidros for protection, muttering in a language Phaidros didn’t understand. “You did not tell me she was a longshi!” he said defensively. “Quickly, we must leave before she cinders us all!”

  Phaidros blinked, glancing back at Dom. “Are you scared?”

  “As you should be!” Dom exclaimed.

  Daxia grinned. “He’s right, if he isn’t careful with how he speaks to me I’m going to burn his potential to a crisp.”

  Phaidros felt that it was a bit odd that Dom was so scared of Daxia, considering he loomed at least two feet over her. “Can… you really do that?” he ended up asking before he shook his head. “I’m sorry, Daxia, this is Dom, he’s our third. Dom, this is Daxia.”

  “Did you come here to cower at my door or did you actually need something?” Daxia said flatly, ignoring the introduction.

  Zenovia finally cut in. “Yeah, remember that request I made back when we got the armor? I wanted to see if you had an update on that.”

  Her tail swayed thoughtfully behind her as if she were considering shutting the door in her face before she opened the door wider. “You can come in.”

  Zenovia nodded in thanks, muttering to Phaidros as she passed, “She can” to answer his earlier question, giving him a look that told Phaidros he should stay on Daxia’s good side as she entered the shop. Phaidros followed after with Dom practically glued to his back, trying to keep him between himself and Daxia. As they passed Daxia gave him a fang-filled grin and hissed, which made Dom shrink further and got another snicker out of the dragon. She closed the door behind them and then walked into the workshop part of her shop. There were new projects lingering about including a half-finished set of armor and something that looked like an axe but Phaidros could see a lot of open mechanisms and gears inside that made him wonder what the end product would be.

  Her workbench was cluttered with various, half-finished rounds that looked like they were small corkscrews ending in a sharp point. There were several slits in the sides. She grabbed a pistol out of a pile of what Phaidros thought was junk and began to fill up a clip. “I’ve been working on something and I think I hit a breakthrough,” she said after taking a break to yawn. “It won’t work on ignited armor really, the plates are too big, but if you’re dealing with a big dumb lizard like the reports suggest then it’s got lots of smaller scales on it. You can’t breach the scales with normal rounds because its shaped body is simply too powerful. So, I give you…” she trailed off as she picked up one bullet and wiggled it in the air triumphantly. “Ripper rounds.” Her voice didn’t sound nearly as triumphant.

  Dom squinted from behind Phaidros. “Seems like a normal armor-piercing round to me.”

  Daxia beamed. “And that is where you are wrong, my big cowardly friend,” Dom glared at her but did not offer an argument.

  She pointed the gun at the half-finished armor and Zenovia immediately shouted, “Cover your ears!” All three of them did so as Daxia fired the pistol, the bullet lodging itself into the chitin plate. Dom cursed again, Phaidros was sure it was something about Daxia being crazy. She walked past them all to carefully pluck the bullet from the armor and held it up for all of them to inspect. “When under sufficient speed, scalpel blades stick out of the ends of the bullet. It doesn’t mean much for the armor you guys have but for a scaly hide and a glancing shot, it should rip through some scales to give you an opening.”

  Phaidros had never seen Zenovia look so fascinated by something. She took a step closer, examining the round. “So I can use this to make some weaknesses on the beast for others to exploit. A magazine of this before switching to normal rounds to then target. It’s not a direct solution but it is better than what I had before.”

  Daxia nodded. “Yeah, dealing with Shaped things is difficult. Sometimes they just have an identity that makes them invulnerable and you’re just out of luck unless you have an equally powerful identity that is really good at destroying things… it… doesn’t have one of those, right?”

  Zenovia shook her head. “From what I can tell it has a fear identity.”

  Daxia nodded sagely. “Well, you shouldn’t have a problem then.”

  “How many of these do you have ready?” Zenovia asked, sounding eager.

  “Oh about twelve–” She looked at the round in her hand. “Sorry, eleven. The materials and tech I need for them aren’t exactly standard issue, at least, not anymore.”

  “What do you mean by that?” Phaidros asked.

  “Well… they were more common in the second age when everyone was fighting dragons,” she said with some reluctance. “Not so common anymore, so no reason to rip scales off of things.”

  Phaidros saw Dom staring at the rounds with new reverence before asking, “Is there any way to add this thing to a hammer? For curiosity’s sake. I do not want to hunt dragons.”

  “Uh huh,” Daxia said, not sounding convinced, “anyways I’m working with a guy down in the market district to get the materials for more. I should have enough for your hunt by the time your time’s up. Don’t you worry.”

  Zenovia nodded. “Thank you, Daxia. You’ve been a great help.”

  Daxia returned the nod. “I know, you’re welcome. Now is there anything else you needed? I was in the middle of a nap.”

  Zenovia and Dom shook their heads, the latter doing so with more eagerness. “Just looking for the update, thank you.”

  “Yes let us go now and leave the dragon to rest,” Dom said, already moving towards the door and failing to look casual about it. He exited, Zenovia following.

  Phaidros followed as well, but lingered at the door before looking back to Daxia. “Hey Daxia?”

  Daxia was already fiddling with another one of the bullet casings as she looked back at him over her shoulder. “Yeah?”

  Phaidros hesitated but bowed to her. “Thank you for the other day. I was really letting my mind run rampant and you helped set me straight. I managed to pass Zenovia’s test and get Dom on our side thanks to you. So—thank you.”

  Daxia stared before giving a more genuine grin and a two-fingered salute. “Anytime, Phaidros. If you need any words of wisdom that doesn’t involve smashing your head against a wall, just let me know.”

  Phaidros was about to speak again before he heard Dom’s voice from the other side of the door. “Phaidros! Are you alright? She is not eating you is she?”

  “I’m fine!” he called out, giving Daxia one final bow of his head before slipping out the door. Zenovia was waiting with her arms folded and Dom looked like he was about to charge the door to save his friend.

  “Ah! You are safe, this is good. I was worried about you,” Dom said with a relieved sigh.

  “Daxia’s harmless, Dom. You shouldn’t be scared of her,” Phaidros said with a small chuckle.

  “No longshi is harmless,” Dom said. “Even one who has become a smith. Several of them have become involved in the war back home.” He shook his head, clicking his tongue. “Terrible stories come from the survivors of those battles.”

  “We do not care from where your blood reigns, only where it is spilled,” Zenovia reminded Dom, sounding a little impatient. “She’s in the Order, so she’s one of us, so you can’t keep treating her like she’s the Shaped Beast. Besides, you being scared of her after the pep talk you gave Phaidros yesterday is just embarrassing.”

  Dom stood up taller after that. “It is only right to be scared! Some challenges are too much for Ignited—maybe when we are Shaped there is a chance.”

  Zenovia rolled her eyes. “Right, anyways, this is our one rest day so we should make a plan for what we do going forward.”

  “More duels!” Dom immediately suggested.

  “How about a hunt,” Phaidros offered, both of them looked at him. “We’re going to be hunting a Shaped Beast, surely there’s more jobs that Suneater can give us right? It’d give us a chance to figure out how to work together.”

  Zenovia raised a brow. “Good idea, Phaidros.”

  Phaidros beamed a little; Dom, meanwhile, stroked his chin in thought. “Hm, it will have to be a good hunt. I say we take multiple, all at once! To really challenge us.”

  Zenovia nodded thoughtfully. “Alright, let’s go see Suneater and see what we can grab.” With the group all in agreement they set off towards the temple.