One

  I'm probably one of the Chinese scholars in contemporary times who has been invited to give lectures in various parts of the world. However, I always request the host not to report back home. The reason, I won't say.

  In the city I was invited to, there is one that I rarely agree with, which is Shanghai where I live. The reason won't be mentioned.

  However, on November 17, 2004, I made an exception and accepted the invitation to give a speech at the Shanghai Archives Bureau in Waitan. The reason was that eight days later, it would be Ba Jin's 100th birthday.

  Celebrating a centenarian's birthday should have been a grand ceremony, with throngs of relatives and friends, officials paying their respects, and readers flocking to pay tribute. However, this would inevitably disturb the simple and quiet-loving old man living in the hospital. It was someone's idea to let just a few writers spend a few days by the Huangpu River, quietly discussing the old man. Moreover, it was held in an archive, as if reminding this city that has become increasingly unclear about what culture is, that at least one kind of culture is related to the granite rocks on the riverbank that are not eroded by sea winds, and related to the sedimentation of a hundred years.

  I'll start. Following me, the daughter of writer Bing Xin, Wu Qing, the nephew of Ba Jin, Li Zhi, and Ba Jin's researcher Chen Sihe, are all good scholars who will continue to speak day after day. When they finish speaking, it will be his birthday.

  I didn't expect so many people to come, and they all came in so quietly, even walking and sitting down were done with light hands and feet. As I looked down from the stage, Ba Jin's family members, including his descendants and even his often-written-about daughter Dongdong, were all seated in the front row. I was familiar with them all, and threw them a smile, which they returned with a slight nod. With them present, I knew what tone to use when I started speaking.

  Two

  Family members often take elderly for granted. They are too familiar with each other and forget the strangeness and uniqueness they bring to the world.

  So I began by saying, let everyone gaze in reverence and add a touch of the sacred to Ba Jin's centenarian age. The reason is not just ordinary respect for the elderly, but because of the following list of ages:

  Age of China's first-rate ancient literary masters:

  Those who lived to be over 40 years old include Cao Xueqin and Liu Zongyuan.

  Those who lived to be over 50 years old include Sima Qian and Han Yu.

  Many lived into their sixties or more, such as Qu Yuan, Tao Qian, Li Bai, Su Shi and Xin Qiji.

  Few people live up to seventy years old, such as Pu Songling and Li Qingzhao;

  Living up to eighty years old, now thinking back, there is only Lu You.

  Broaden your horizons. In the world, first-rate writers who lived to be over 50 include Dante, Balzac, Shakespeare and Dickens.

  Those who lived into their sixties include Boccaccio, Cervantes, Zola and Hemingway.

  Those who lived into their seventies include Alexandre Dumas fils, Mark Twain, Jean-Paul Sartre, Yasunari Kawabata and Romain Rolland.

  Those who lived into their eighties include Goethe, Hugo, Tolstoy and Tagore.

  There is Shaw who lived into his nineties.

  After the first-class writers at home and abroad, I narrowed down the scope again, brought the time closer, and made a statistics of the age of modern Chinese writers.

  Those who lived into their seventies include Zhang Ailing and Zhang Henshui;

  Those who lived into their eighties include Zhou Zuoren, Guo Moruo, Mao Dun, Ding Ling, Shen Congwen and Lin Yutang.

  Those who lived into their nineties include Ye Shengtao, Xia Yan and Bing Xin.

  My memory may be wrong and I don't have time to verify them one by one. But when I mentioned so many names at the scene of the speech, everyone's expression indeed became more solemn.

  This list does not include Ba Jin, but Ba Jin is the ultimate goal. Therefore, all ancient and modern writers from China and abroad have turned around to gaze at this old Chinese man. At least until my speech, he is the first one.

  The longevity of outstanding writers is different from that of others. They make the past stay, wither time turn green, and cold time warm up. The departure of an important writer is a closure of social vision that has been generalized, and also an interruption of emotional ways that have been accustomed to, which is irreparable. Let's boldly imagine: if Sima Qian could see the collapse of the Han Dynasty, Cao Xueqin could see the Xinhai Revolution, and Lu Xun could see the "Cultural Revolution", how great would be the collision of thoughts! Their reactions are unpredictable, but their vision is familiar to everyone.

  Ba Jin's importance lies in his sensitive observation of a century. This century of China has witnessed countless events that are too terrible to behold, yet impossible to ignore; incomprehensible, yet unavoidable; unbelievable, yet undeniable. But when people were deeply perplexed, they would suddenly remember that there were still some eyes and minds existing alongside their own. The one that existed the longest was him, Ba Jin.

  Three

  Ba Jin's eyes gazed through the century.

  The eyes of the century also scrutinized Ba Jin.

  Ba Jin's gaze is the most gentle gaze left by the May Fourth New Culture Movement. In modern China, where gentleness was least needed, this "gentlest" has long been regarded as a backward existence.

  Ba Jin was not a revolutionary at heart, despite his infatuation with anarchist social reform in his youth. In the long run, he could not charge into battle like Li Dazhao, Chen Duxiu, Guo Moruo, Mao Dun and Ding Ling as a cultural figure in the revolutionary ranks. He would also passionately pay attention to them and follow them to some extent, but his essential thought was humanitarianism.

  Ba Jin is not Lu Xun. He will not make a high-level summary and criticism of history and the times, nor will he use "daggers and spears" to attack what he considers his enemies. He does not make earth-shattering judgments, nor does he utter warning words, nor does he shout in the wilderness, forever only using a low tone to pour out his sincere inner world.

  Ba Jin is not like Hu Shi, Lin Yutang, Xu Zhimo or Qian Zhongshu, those "Western-style writers". He is not unfamiliar with the global cultural trends, but he has never received the worship of modern China's idolization of foreign things, nor has he been tainted with even a hint of the "cultural aristocracy" color, and is basically a simple native existence.

  The above-mentioned cultural figures, who were different from Ba Jin, were all excellent, but unfortunately their works were not easily disseminated in Chinese society at that time. What was really popular back then were the "Mandarin Duck and Butterfly School", the "Saturday School", martial arts fiction, and detective stories. Many young people today think that Lu Xun's works must have been very popular back then. In fact, they weren't - just check the circulation numbers to see. In an era with a high illiteracy rate, even among the small proportion of the population who were "culturally aware", most were only "roughly literate". Being able to pick up a few romance or martial arts novels to read was already considered "cultured". The "depth" or otherwise that today's researchers talk about has little relation to the actual reception at the time. In this context, Ba Jin becomes very important.

  Ba Jin successfully built a bridge between "profound" and "popular", making the ideological enlightenment of the May Fourth New Culture Movement, which opposed feudalism, sought new life, advocated freedom, and struggled for human rights, into something popular through family conflicts and struggles with fate. It became popular, yet not vulgar or lowered, and spiritually became a kind of righteousness that many young people at the time could "reach out to".

  There is a common regret in the history of modern Chinese literature, that is, many long-lived writers did not continue their weight into middle age, and their brilliance was concentrated only in their youth. Especially after a major social change in the mid-20th century, some of them were involved in high-ranking but empty administrative affairs, while others chose to be silent because they could not find a way to dialogue with the times. Many of Ba Jin's friends in the literary circle were like this.

  Completely beyond expectation, Ba Jin, and only Ba Jin, at the midpoint of his life, created a new brilliance that was completely different from before. He had a seemingly ordinary speech on May 9th, 1962, which changed his entire second half of life, until today.

  It was just one year after this major turning point that I saw him again.

  So, from now on, I will change the way of writing in this article.

  Four

  I was seventeen years old when I met Ba Jin. His daughter Li Xiaolin and I were classmates, our teacher Mr. Sheng Zhongjian took me and others to their home.

  That day, Ba Jin looked happy and relaxed. He was 59 years old at the time and for the first time personally received his daughter's university teachers and classmates at home. Of course, there were also elementary school and middle school teachers and classmates who came to visit before, probably all of whom were entertained by his wife Xiao Shan.

  No. 113 Wukang Road, a cozy courtyard, was hidden behind the dense autumn foliage and was very quiet. The gate faced west, with a fairly large mailbox hanging on it, and a narrow slot for mail on the door. Twenty years later, every manuscript of my books "Cultural Odyssey", "Mountain Dwelling Notes" and "Frosty River" would appear in front of readers at home and abroad through this mailbox. That afternoon, I had no such premonition, and when I left, I only used my finger to tap the mailbox to see if it was made of iron or wood.

  Ba Jin and Xiao Shan saw us off at the gate with warm smiles that were unforgettable in the sunset.

  We walked out of the room, and the door was quietly closed. Mr. Sheng Zhongjian immediately said to me: "Such a kind and gentle person, when it's time to speak up, is still very brave. A speech at the Shanghai Writers' Association last year is still being criticized today."

  "What's going on?" I asked.

  "You can go to the library and find it to read," said Teacher Sheng.

  That night I found this speech in the library reading room.

  There is such a passage in the speech -

  I'm a bit afraid of those who hold frames in one hand and rods in the other, looking for faults everywhere. Although I won't retreat at the sight of rods, being hit by them too many times will damage my brain. When encountering them, troubles multiply. I'm not joking. In our society, there is such a small group of people that you can't see them normally and don't know what they're doing, but as soon as you open your mouth or pick up a pen, they appear.

  They like to create simple frameworks and are satisfied with their own creations, preferring to put people in their own frameworks.

  If someone refuses to be confined to their own framework, if others' gardens have a few more flowers, if there are a few more birds singing in front of the window, if they hear new songs and see unfamiliar articles, they will fly into a rage, raise their clubs and strike with all their might.

  Although they are few in number, their momentum is great. They manufacture public opinion by writing articles and letters to the editor, expressing opinions everywhere, pulling other people's queues, putting hats on others, and then recklessly wielding clubs, making some authors nervous and losing their ambition.

  According to the elderly, when Ba Jin said this at the Shanghai cultural gathering, everyone immediately fell silent, wanting to applaud but instead covering their mouths with their hands. Only a few bold and close friends secretly gave Ba Jin a thumbs up during the break, but quickly put it down.

  Why is that? From the specific reasons, at that time, people in Shanghai's cultural circle immediately thought of "big stick criticism" *** from Ba Jin's speech, and also knew that behind him was Zhang Chunqiao, and behind Zhang was Shanghai Municipal Party Secretary Ke Qingshi. This line, Ba Jin should have known, so he was very brave.

  However, it was not until later, in the course of my long and actual experiences, that I gradually came to understand the universal significance of Ba Jin's words. It is after all somewhat accidental for a city at a certain time to produce people like *** or Zhang Chunqiao, but Ba Jin's words are not accidental; they remain applicable even today, even in other cities in China.

  Let's break down Ba Jin's argument into some basic points fifty years later and take a look.

  What makes Chinese writers nervous and lose their ambition is a very special force, which can be referred to as "club", that is, "those who hold frames in one hand and clubs in the other to find faults everywhere".

  Secondly, the behavior of these people can be divided into five steps: creating a framework for themselves; putting others in it; catching their faults based on the framework; putting hats on them according to their faults; and then beating them randomly.

  Thirdly, these people have the characteristics of dormancy, concealment and ambiguity, that is, "they can't be seen in peacetime, nor do we know what they are doing". Their professional positioning is even more impossible to seriously seek.

  Fourthly, these people have a keen sense of smell and are quick to act. As soon as they see which writer opens their mouth or picks up their pen, they immediately raise their clubs, without any delay.

  Fifth, these people are small in number but loud in voice, and they have the ability to occupy all channels of communication with their clubs. They can do anything in creating public opinion.

  Sixth, these people talk very magnificently on the surface, but in reality their original motive is only a destructive desire born of jealousy: "If someone else's garden has a few more flowers, if there are a few more birds singing in front of the window, if they hear new songs and see unfamiliar articles, they will become enraged, raise their clubs, and strike with all their might."

  Seventh, although it is only out of jealousy and destructive desire, but since these people show "anger", show "high-profile", show "painful strike", very much like representing justice, so as long as they encounter, they will cause a lot of trouble, making people's brains dizzy. The cruelty and cowardice in China's cultural circle all come from this.

  The above seven points were all expressed by Ba Jin on May 9, 1962, in a calm and humorous tone. Today, re-reading them, I still deeply admire them. Because it's been so long, everything seems to have changed, *** and Zhang Chunqiao are no longer in this world, but these "sticks" are still alive, and they even have a tendency to expand greatly.

  Ba Jin's speech also hides a paradox that must arouse serious attention from contemporary intellectuals.

  He speaks on behalf of the victims, but at first glance, his reputation far surpasses that of the "club-wielders". He serves as the chairman of the Shanghai Writers Association and naturally earns more in royalties than the "club-wielders". Everywhere he seems to be one of the "strong", while the "club-wielders" are the "weak". But a strange phenomenon has occurred: why do the hands of the "weak" who hold high the clubs and wield them with such ferocity always seem so strong and fierce? Why do the "strong" who cower under the clubs always seem so weak and helpless?

  This profound paradox points directly to the essence of the later "Cultural Revolution" and also points directly to today's literary ecology.

  Actually, many disasters in modern China originated from this kind of "strong-weak vortex". It is precisely this inverted vortex of "apparent strength and actual weakness" and "apparent weakness and actual strength" that has left room for evil public opinion and action space for deprivation, robbery, and jealousy. This has formed a "meritocratic elimination system" based on populism in society; and a "media violence gang" based on literary hooliganism in culture.

  Ba Jin pointed this out with his own feelings, one step ahead of others, and said it was a piercing remark.

  Just two weeks after Ba Jin's speech, on May 25, 1962, Associated Press sent a telegram from Hong Kong. Then big trouble came.

  An Associated Press dispatch said:

  Ba Jin said on May 9 in Shanghai at the Second Congress of Literary and Artistic Workers: "The lack of freedom of speech is strangling the development of Chinese literature."

  He said: "Fear of criticism and self-criticism" has made many Chinese writers, including himself, idle people who are mainly concerned with "avoiding mistakes".

  Ba Jin has always been a prolific writer, and what he wrote before the Communist conquest of China is still extremely popular today in China as well as among overseas Chinese in Southeast Asia. However, over the past thirteen years, he hasn't written anything noteworthy...

  The writer says that it seems no one knows where the "people with a frame and sticks" come from, "but as soon as you open your mouth and pick up a pen, they appear".

  "He said: 'These people have instilled fear among writers.'"

  This writer demands that he and other writers muster up enough courage to get rid of such fear, and write something creative.

  The Associated Press dispatch also said that Beijing's leaders at the time apparently disapproved of Ba Jin's speech, as evidenced by the fact that all national literary and artistic publications did not carry or report on the speech. The AP dispatch was delayed for two weeks, waiting for this.

  The Associated Press dispatch was seen by *** and Chang Chun-chiao among others. Thus, Pa Chin became "the man who provided ammunition for the imperialist attack on China".

  So, the courtyard I entered with Professor Sheng Zhongjian and others that day turned out to be a "shell warehouse".

  Five

  ***, Zhang Chunqiao and others were obviously resentful of Ba Jin's speech, like a thorn in their side. A few years later, they were promoted to become key members of the notorious "Central Cultural Revolution Group", with great power and influence, but repeatedly referred to themselves as "golden clubs of the proletariat". The term "club" was used by Ba Jin in his speech to refer to them, which they adopted and coated with a layer of gold.

  I have always thought that the "Cultural Revolution" movement, in a certain sense, is also a "Stick Movement".

  Ba Jin's remarks a few years ago have been realized millions of times. During the "Cultural Revolution", the Chinese land, except for sticks, was still sticks. Exposed sticks, slanderous sticks, framed sticks, criticized sticks, denounced sticks, besieged sticks... The whole thing is a stick world.

  A few years ago, Ba Jin was the only one who warned about the stick. In an instant, he seemed extremely great. But he himself was naturally surrounded by sticks. The gate under the deep autumn sunset in my memory was smashed open by thugs again and again. Xiao Shan went to the nearby police station to report the crime, but the police didn't care.

  The Shanghai Writers' Association where Ba Jin was located immediately posted big-character posters criticizing him. Most of them were written by writers, but the language was extremely vicious, calling him "old hand", "black old K", "reactionary writer", "parasite"......

  Ordinary-looking intellectuals suddenly became "fibrous" and "wooden", turning into bloodless and fleshless sticks, a theme written by French absurdist writer Eugene Ionesco.

  In the Shanghai Writers' Association, the most powerful group for a long time was the "revolutionary writers" from the military. After the outbreak of the Cultural Revolution, the "worker-rebel writers" led by Hu Wan Chun officially took power. There were great contradictions and fierce struggles within the "revolutionary writers", with two common premises: one was to curry favor with the "worker-rebel writers", and the other was to kick the "dead tiger" Ba Jin when he was down. As a result, in the large Writers' Association, almost no one spoke to Ba Jin unless it was to reprimand him.

  Ba Jin was not afraid of the "cold night" of loneliness. Every day, he walked back from the Writers' Association on Julu Road to his home on Wukang Road, extremely exhausted. As he walked, he couldn't help but think that this city had changed so much, and this country had changed so much. Finally arriving home, he opened the door and first looked at the mailbox, a habit of many years. But the mailbox was empty, Xiao Shan had already taken it away.

  Later, it was discovered that Xiao Shan had taken the newspaper ahead of time to prevent her husband from seeing an article criticizing him written by a "worker rebel writer". She hid those newspapers at home, but they were soon found by her husband. Later, the mailbox on the door became the focus of close attention between the couple, and whoever wanted to take the lead was worried every day.

  Their daughter, Li Xiaolin, had long left the courtyard and was sent to a farm in a distant place with us classmates. In her spare time from hard labor, she saw a Shanghai newspaper with an article saying that Ba Jin had also been sent to a farm in the suburbs of Shanghai for labor reform, but "shouldering 200 kilograms, counter-revolutionary thinking". Two hundred kilograms? Li Xiaolin shed tears.

  At that time, in the distant rural farm, many classmates had a dilapidated courtyard in their hearts. The elders would enter and exit the courtyard every day with humiliation and scars, thinking about it would make one shed tears like Li Xiaolin. The courtyard in my heart was even more unbearable to think about, my father had been detained, my uncle had been driven to death, leaving only our elderly grandmother and helpless mother, without a steady income...

  Reunion at the door was after the "Lin Biao incident" in 1971. The "Cultural Revolution" had already failed but was still lingering, and it lingered with great fanfare. After Zhou Enlai took power, cultural reconstruction began, we returned to Shanghai, many cultural people returned to their original jobs, this was called "implementing policies" at the time, which meant "lenient treatment".

  However, Zhang Chunqiao still remembered Bajin's speech with hatred, and he said: "For Bajin, not shooting is to implement the policy." At that time, Zhang Chunqiao held a high position in the central government, and it can be imagined what kind of situation Bajin was in at that time.

  However, the international literary world is still thinking of Ba Jin. A few French writers, unaware if he was still alive, were preparing to nominate him for the Nobel Prize in Literature as a test. Japanese writer Yasushi Inoue and the Japan-China Cultural Exchange Association were also trying every means to find his whereabouts. Under this external pressure, Zhang Chunqiao and others said, "Ba Jin can be considered not to wear the hat of a counter-revolutionary, but rather as an internal contradiction among the people, and can be kept to do some translation work."

  He was then assigned to a translation group within the Shanghai "writing group system" and began translating Russian author Alexander Herzen's My Past and Thoughts.

  A life that has been tortured, only in the gap of "not being shot" remains, immediately connected to the world's first-class emotions and thoughts. I think this is the most difficult dignity to be deprived of in life. Living, even if there is only a thread left, must quickly return to this level.

  That afternoon, I went to the courtyard again. Ba Jin's beloved wife Xiao Shan had passed away due to illness, and the old man was holding her ashes box, wailing loudly, then sinking into deeper loneliness. As soon as you enter, you can feel that this familiar courtyard is getting more and more gloomy and desolate.

  Li Xiaolin and her husband Zhu Hongsheng whispered to me that he was next door. I hesitated whether to disturb him, when suddenly his voice came over. It sounded like he was reciting some texts.

  Li Xiaolin listened for a few sentences and calmly told me: "Dad is reciting Dante's Divine Comedy. He also recited it during his labor reform in the countryside."

  "Is it Italian?" I asked.

  "Yes," said Li Xiaolin, "he knows a little of several foreign languages, but is not proficient."

  But Ding, "The Divine Comedy", a Chinese writer's bleak and tenacious recitation, in Italian, with a thick Sichuan accent.

  I don't understand what you're saying, but I know what it's about.

  Ah, kind and benevolent living beings,

  You come to visit us, these dark spirits who have stained the earth with blood.

  If the King of the Universe were our friend

  We will pray for your safety to Him.

  Because you pitied us who suffered this cruel punishment.

  When the wind is as still as it is here now,

  Whatever you like to hear and talk about

  We all want to listen

  All of you are willing to talk about yourselves.

  ……

  This is Dante's voice.

  This is Ba Jin's voice.

  Separated by a full six hundred and fifty years, yet merged in an instant. That afternoon, I seemed to have had an epiphany about the connotation of "The Divine Comedy", just like ancient Zen masters who had an epiphany while reciting unintelligible Sanskrit scriptures. Falsehood, evil, ugliness, truth, goodness, beauty, stood opposite each other, intertwined with each other, hell and heaven stretched across in between.

  There is a calm in every great disaster, a prayer in every calm, and a perseverance in every prayer.

  After a while, things got worse and worse. I told Li Xiaolin: "I'm asking Sheng Zhongjian teacher to find a place, thinking of going to the countryside to live for a while."

  Sheng Zhongjian, the teacher who first brought me into the Ba Jin family. Li Xiaolin nodded as soon as he heard his name and didn't ask anything else. At that time, the newspaper was already proclaiming another movement called "Counter-Rightist Reversal of Verdicts", and everyone had to participate. But at that time, I had found myself in solitary resistance and was determined to be someone outside of "everyone".

  That memory of listening to Ba Jin recite "The Divine Comedy" has been stored in my heart for a long time. I live in seclusion in the mountains, deciding to start researching the relationship between Chinese culture and world culture, which is also related to that memory. The courtyard on Shanghai's Wukang Road, the small streets of Florence, Italy, all gathered on the desolate mountain road, I floated across time and space like a dream.

  Years later, I still went to Florence many times to visit Dante's former residence, going during the day and at night, alone and with my wife. In my heart, the Sichuan dialect version of "The Divine Comedy" kept echoing. At that time, the disaster of the Cultural Revolution had long passed, but the spiritual divide between heaven and hell became increasingly clear and increasingly blurred. Therefore, that memory became the starting point for many things.

  Six

  It wasn't until the years when everyone could relax that I saw Ba Jin again. At that time, he had long passed his 70th birthday, but unexpectedly welcomed the busiest days of his life.

  A whole era's debt to culture was suddenly met with a sharp political turn. People immediately and exaggeratedly "changed their stance", without even having time to think or reflect, and enthusiastically embraced almost all the old men in the cultural circle, despite having ridiculed them just a few days ago.

  Many elderly people are already physically and mentally exhausted, unable to think. Ba Jin was also exhausted, but he did not stop thinking, so he became a rare cultural representative. For a time, followers flocked, speaking beautifully and eloquently.

  Ba Jin was delighted at the arrival of a new era and felt that his country had hope. However, he did not adapt to the hustle and bustle before him.

  This is a long story. In the era before the Internet, if someone was beaten up, the punches were mainly concentrated within their own unit. As I wrote earlier, Ba Jin's various specific disasters during the "Cultural Revolution" mostly came from writers he knew. Now, these writers suddenly turn around and claim that they have always been shoulder to shoulder with Ba Jin in suffering and fighting together.

  I'm not very convinced about this. For example, during the disaster, every household in Shanghai had to make a large number of "air raid shelter bricks". Although Ba Jin's family was old and ill, they couldn't be exempted either. So, who from his work unit came to help? When Xiao Shan was seriously ill for a long time, who assisted Ba Jin with medical issues? After Xiao Shan passed away, who took care of the various aftermath matters? I only know that it was our classmates who lent a hand, but didn't see any writers showing up.

  Ba Jin was kind-hearted and couldn't bear to expose those falsehoods, instead feeling that those people also had a hard time in the then-prevailing environment. But at night he often had nightmares, repeatedly seeing those big-character posters, those massive criticisms, those loudspeakers. He knew that the problems he now faced were not only present on the surface of this batch of sycophants, but also hidden deep within the nation's psyche.

  Can we learn from self-reflection? This has become a common issue for all Chinese people after experiencing disasters.

  For this, Ba Jin issued three appeals in a timely manner —

  Firstly, call for the establishment of a "Cultural Revolution Museum".

  Secondly, he called for introspection and started by himself, beginning to write "Notes of Random Thoughts".

  Thirdly, advocate "telling the truth".

  The "Museum of the Cultural Revolution" has not been established until now, and the reasons are very complicated. Some writers have written articles asserting that it was stopped by the "higher-ups", but I don't think it's that simple. Think about it, if a "Museum of the Cultural Revolution" were to be established, wouldn't there inevitably be pictures and materials of the Shanghai Writers' Association repeatedly denouncing Ba Jin? And how many familiar faces would appear in those photos? How many familiar signatures would appear on the denunciation materials?

  Ba Jin did not want to trigger new mutual exposure, knowing that once triggered, it would be "good defeat and evil win" again. Therefore, he only advocated for self-reflection.

  His "Notes of Random Thoughts" was soon published, and a cultural elder who had suffered humiliation in the disaster, even with his family broken and his people dead, sincerely examined the stains on his own soul, which really moved all of China. The Chinese cultural circle, which is least capable of introspection, also quieted down for three or four years after the publication of this book.

  Ba Jin believed that even without disasters, we need to reflect and establish some basic virtues, such as "telling the truth". He thought this was a weakness of Chinese people and Chinese culture. If we don't tell the truth, new disasters will emerge one after another. Therefore, he considered this point as the key to reflection.

  At that time, there were already authoritative figures who strongly opposed it and published articles saying: "The truth is not equal to the truth."

  I immediately wrote an article to refute it, saying: "In our lifetime, how many 'truths' have we heard, and how many true words? I would rather not have the 'truth' that is opposed to true words!"

  As soon as the phrase "tell the truth" is raised, it immediately triggers a backlash, which shows how accurately these three words have touched a huge nervous system. This is very similar to the scene when Ba Jin scolded the "stick" in 1962. Therefore, I want to make some cultural explanations for these three words.

  Chinese culture has been lacking a "mechanism to distinguish the fake" for thousands of years. After entering modern times, it did not undergo empirical training like the West, so this flaw was never overcome. In fact, many seemingly "ironclad" accusations are entirely false.

  History should leave a bad name for rumormongers, but they are not important. What really plays a controlling role is the group psychology that loves rumors, the struggle philosophy that acts on hearsay, the legal deficiency of unpunished lies, and the cultural tradition that cannot distinguish between true and false.

  Therefore, Ba Jin's repeated emphasis on "telling the truth" in his later years has a strong cultural challenge and can be regarded as one of the most important three-character mottoes of Chinese culture in the late 20th century.

  Up to now, it seems that we can summarize Ba Jin's contributions in the simplest language.

  I think that in the first half of his life, Ba Jin participated in two things in a certain way, which can be summarized in six words: "Anti-feudalism" and "Struggle for Human Rights".

  "Denounce Ba Jin" and "Speak the truth"

  ”。

  The first two things involved many participants and became a trend for a while; the last two things were led by him alone, shaking mountains and rivers.

  Seven

  Ba Jin was given a very high social status in his later years, first as a member of the Standing Committee of the National People's Congress and then as Vice Chairman of the Chinese People's Political Consultative Conference. At the same time, he remained chairman of the China Writers Association. However, he could no longer attend meetings and spent most of his time in hospital.

  One time I went to the East China Hospital to visit him, just as he was having lunch. The nurse brought up his food, and Li Xiaolin pushed his wheelchair to the small table in front of him. He was old and not very mobile, and when eating, he still had to wear a bib around his chest. Wearing a bib in front of guests to eat alone made him a bit embarrassed, even though the guest was just a younger person. I took note of his food and his appetite today. The hospital's meals were really too simple, and he finished quickly. Li Xiaolin went to push the wheelchair, and he said something softly in Sichuan dialect that I didn't quite catch, but Li Xiaolin laughed. As we were leaving, Li Xiaolin walked me out to the door, and I asked: "What did your dad say just now?"

  "Dad said, eating like this would be embarrassing in front of Yu Qiuyu!"

  I couldn't help but laugh too.

  "The food here is no good, what does your father want to eat most?" I asked.

  Unexpectedly, Li Xiaolin's answer was: "Hamburgers, he especially likes them."

  "Isn't this easy?" I found it a bit strange.

  "It's not available in the hospital and we don't have time to go buy it," said Li Xiaolin.

  "I'll take care of this," I said.

  At that time, I was the principal of Shanghai Theatre Academy, which is near the hospital. After I went back, I left some money with the staff in the office and asked them to buy a hamburger from Jing'an Temple every day and send it to the hospital for me.

  But at that time I was too busy, and after handing over, I didn't ask much. It wasn't until later that I knew he had only been sent to the hospital twice. Soon after, Ba Jin left the hospital to convalesce in Hangzhou.

  And I have resigned and traveled far, starting a cultural survey among ruins and wastelands.

  Examining halfway, writing some manuscripts in a small inn. Originally intended to bring along the way, but afraid of losing, I thought of a big gate.

  The sunset on Wukang Road, a mailbox made of either iron or wood. Ba Jin and Xiao Shan repeatedly reached in to touch it, only to pull out rolls of unbearable newspapers. The mistress's silhouette disappeared at the doorway, I quietly pushed open the door, but heard the desolate "Divine Comedy"...

  I decided to send the manuscript to this big gate, to this mailbox. Ba Jin was still the editor-in-chief of Harvest magazine, and after he fell ill, Li Xiaolin took over. I am very clear about Li Xiaolin's judgment on literature. Think back to those years, when Zhang Chunqiao had just made his vicious remarks about whether or not to execute Ba Jin by firing squad, I went to visit her and her husband, and we could only speak in hushed tones. She surprisingly avoided the topic of Zhang Chunqiao with disdain, and solemnly recommended to me the new work of Soviet young writer Aitmatov, and from start to finish only talked about art, speaking so enthusiastically.

  I have faith that she can understand these words I wrote in the ruins, even though they were out of place at the time.

  Sometimes when I return to Shanghai, I directly put the manuscript into that mailbox. Usually at night, without knocking on the door or ringing the bell. This is a cultural mail delivery with a bit of abstraction. Don't speak, just let the moon see it and it's fine. At that time, Wukang Road was very quiet, quietly to the point of being a bit abstract.

  This investment has finally become a pile of books that everyone knows about.

  This time, this big gate, this mailbox, and this courtyard will once again reveal the logic they have revealed and endured. First, sticks flew horizontally, then rumors rose against me.

  But because I have witnessed Ba Jin's experience, he can actually stand still with a smile in the face of large-scale slander, unmoved.

  However, Ba Jin himself could no longer stand upright with a faint smile.

  He even said that he shouldn't have lived so long.

  He even said that using modern medicine to forcibly prolong a body that is too weak is unnecessary.

  He even said that longevity is his punishment.

  Eight

  In his weakness, he maintained listening, maintained inquiry, maintained thinking, and thus also maintained a special thing, that is melancholy.

  Melancholy?

  Yes, melancholy. What's wrong with saying he has something else? Why emphasize melancholy?

  But this is true.

  He did not become melancholy because of his own weakness. Melancholy was the spiritual keynote of his life. From the time he wrote "Home" in his youth, through the turmoil and displacement during the national crisis, to the discovery of sticks after middle age, experiencing disasters, advocating for true words, every step of the way, he was melancholic.

  Bing Xin once advised him: "Ba Jin, little brother, why are you so melancholy?" It wasn't until much later that Bing Xin realized Ba Jin was actually savoring life in his melancholy.

  At the end of his life, he was still continuing this enjoyment.

  He made people understand that a life with a single tone is much more noble than a colorful one.

  I have discussed Ba Jin's melancholy with Xiaolin Li many times over the phone.

  I say, Ba Jin's melancholy can be attributed to his background, the era he lived in, and his temperament, but more importantly, it reveals his scrutiny of society, his detachment from the crowd, his sorrow for the distance between ideals and reality, his doubts about the future, and his questioning of human nature. His melancholy also reveals his persistence in literature and art, his yearning for aesthetic realms, his bitter wait for spiritual giants, and his discontent. In short, his demands are neither singular nor specific, so nothing can satisfy him; he will not be jubilant or ecstatic, nor will he flatter or eulogize. His heart is forever warm, but his gaze is forever calm and disillusioned. He is naive yet unsophisticated; he is cunning yet uncalculating. Therefore, he has neither victory nor defeat, only melancholy remains.

  He often reminds me of Mencius' words: "A gentleman has a lifelong worry, but no daily trouble." (Mencius · Li Lou II)

  》）

  The frail elderly person in a state of melancholy is really worrying, but it's also inconvenient to disturb them.

  I often ask Li Xiaolin: "How's your dad? Besides treating his illness, what else is on his mind? Is it possible for you to record something?"

  "He is reading your book."

  "What?" I was greatly surprised, thinking that my old classmate was joking with me.

  "It's letting caregivers read aloud beside them, not themselves," said Li Xiaolin.

  I still have my doubts. How could this all-seeing old man possibly read or listen to my books at the end of his life? And my books, which are always so unsettling and utterly unsuitable for a sick person.

  Finally, I received the book "Late Years of Ba Jin" from Wen Hui Press, written by Mr. Lu Zhengwei, who was a caregiver assigned by the Writers Association. In the book, he wrote that after entering the 1990s, Old Ba was troubled by illness and his body gradually weakened, but he liked to ask staff members to read books to him, especially articles published in "Harvest". Among them, "Cultural Wanderings" deeply attracted Old Ba, "He listened carefully to one article after another, and I personally finished reading all the articles in the 'Cultural Odyssey' column for Old Ba."

  Lu Zhengwei also wrote about the scene when he read aloud my "Mountain Dwelling Notes" to Ba Jin ——

  Ba Jin was lying in bed due to a compression fracture of the thoracic vertebra, and I read "Ningguta" by Yu Qiuyu from the 100th issue of Harvest under the lamp in his ward. When I read the poem "Jinlvqu" written by poet Gu Zhenquan during the Kangxi period, who missed his old friend Wu Zhaoxun exiled to the border by the Qing government, Ba Jin also recited it with me. I couldn't help but put down the book and ask in amazement: "How can your memory be so good?" Ba Jin said: "I was familiar with it when I was 17 or 18 years old studying in Chengdu." He then added: "The Qing government's 'literary inquisition' is too cruel!"

  I sat on the edge, looking at Old Ba who was lost in thought and didn't speak a word. I thought to myself, if Old Ba could still recite the poem he read over 70 years ago without missing a single word, how could the catastrophe that happened over 20 years ago be easily erased from his heart?

  It was Ba Jin who immediately understood what I meant. The passage of history I wrote was to expose the "literary inquisition" of ancient and modern times. Therefore, after he heard it, he fell into a deep thought. What was he thinking about? I roughly knew.

  But what moved me most was that Mr. Lu Zhengwei said that when Ba Jin heard the "Jin Lv Qu" I quoted, he actually recited it back "without a single mistake", making the reader "put down the book in surprise".

  The ancients' longing for friendship on the brink of death, Ba Jin had read it at the age of 17 or 18, and more than 70 years later, he could still recite it from memory. It can be seen that this is also his own lifelong longing for friendship. I don't know if he recited these sentences many times in the depths of disaster, but it can be believed that he also relied on the longing for friendship to respond to the disaster.

  Finally, Ba Jin became weaker and weaker, unable to recite Tintin, unable to recite Gu Zhen Guan. Of course, he couldn't listen to my book anymore either.

  Everyone knows that a life spanning an entire century is about to come to an end. However, this life was too resilient, and he seemed to want to take one last melancholic look at the world he had seen for a hundred years.

  Just then, we suddenly felt a little flustered. Not because we were afraid he would leave, but because we were afraid that before he left, he would hear something else that he shouldn't have heard.

  Nine

  Before Ba Jin passed away, when he couldn't move, hear or speak, some strange sounds appeared.

  I am deeply ashamed that a bedridden centenarian was attacked. Yes, not angry, but ashamed. For the land, for the nation, for conscience.

  I am deeply ashamed that when a 100-year-old elderly person was attacked, the cultural public opinion sector remained completely expressionless. For history, for culture, for morality.

  Still some newspaper clippings given by Li Xiaolin, all of which have just been published.

  Those articles criticized Ba Jin as "a traitorous minister serving two dynasties", pointing out that he was alive both before and after 1949.

  Those articles also criticized Ba Jin for "earning royalties every day", but in fact, everyone knows that Ba Jin donated all his manuscript remuneration.

  Regarding Zhang Chunqiao's statement that year, "If we don't shoot Ba Jin, it's to implement the policy", today's critics say it's because Ba Jin and Zhang Chunqiao had a "personal grudge". This immediately exposes the political identity of the critics, who are actually direct descendants of Zhang Chunqiao and other old-fashioned "sticks".

  They say that Ba Jin's self-reflection in "Random Thoughts" is "a confession of guilt", "cheating the world and stealing fame", "trying to cover up but only making it more obvious", "hypocrisy revealed", "fake gentleman". Some even printed such sentences in bold headlines: "Ba Jin will not die a good death".

  In short, these people concentrated all the negative idioms they wanted to get, like stones, and densely threw them at a dying old man.

  I think these "media big shots" today are a hundred times more vicious than the rebel thugs of years ago, because when those thugs attacked Ba Jin he was only sixty years old, whereas now they're attacking him at the age of one hundred.

  No gangster or bandit in the world would dare to lay hands on a centenarian. How come today's Chinese cultural media have turned out to be like this? This contrast is astonishing: where does such deep-seated hatred come from?

  I think the deep hatred and abnormal attacks all come from Ba Jin's call to establish a "Cultural Revolution Museum". Therefore, it is still too early to say that the "Cultural Revolution" has long passed or will not come again. Just look at how many "Cultural Revolution"-style landmines are still hidden among cultural figures, ready to explode at any time. Some of them have now added another identity as "dissidents". In fact, these people's "dissenting opinions" advocate for a return to the "Cultural Revolution", and their words and deeds have long since returned to that era.

  For this kind of person, the earliest counterattack came from Mr. Liu Zaifu, who was abroad at that time. He wrote in Colorado, USA:

  Now in Hong Kong and overseas, some people use pseudonyms to attack Bai Jin as "treacherous minister". These dark creatures who dare not reveal their own names are without character. Goethe once said that failing to respect outstanding figures is a sign of petty character. Despicable individuals who make a living by attacking famous people can be found everywhere.

  Mr. Liu Zai Fu did not know that shortly after he published this article, those figures no longer used pseudonyms, but instead made a big show in China's cultural media circle, transforming from "dark creatures" to "bright gods".

  Can Ba Jin be free from melancholy?

  It's not just him who is melancholic. When the centenarian finally closed his eyes, this group of people was more powerful than when he was born and more arrogant than when he suffered. Moreover, society was completely powerless to stop them, but instead fully indulged them. Can you say that history is not melancholic?

  Ten

  The Shanghai that lost Ba Jin seems to have lost nothing, but in fact it's not like that. The things he carried with him are invisible and intangible, but once they're gone, the city becomes lighter. What's more, following one after another, there were also Huang Zongjiang, Xie Jin, Chen Yifei...

  Shanghai will never lack cultural figures, nor topics, nor names. What is often lacking is the cultural dignity that makes eyes shine at home and abroad. This dignity comes from depth, from thinking, from melancholy, from quietness, so it seems out of place with the hustle and bustle of city life.

  Just as Lu Xun was not a "Shanghai School", Zhang Taiyan was not a "Shanghai School", and Ba Jin was also not a "Shanghai School". But it is precisely this seemingly "unearthly" existence that has enabled the city to gain a very high cultural status.

  The culture of an ordinary city is mainly seen in how many lively scenes there are on the ground; the culture of a noble city is mainly seen in how many lonely clouds and mist there are in the sky.

  In the bustling scenes, you only need to look straight and down; while for the lonely clouds and mist, you must raise your head and gaze upwards.

  It is said that in Russian President Putin's office, there is a motto hanging on the wall: "Even if you are in a ditch, look up at the starry sky."

  I took this opportunity to play a joke on Master Hsing Yun: "Look, even he is looking at you!"

  I made this joke last winter when I accompanied Master Xingyun to the Yungang Grottoes in Datong, Shanxi.

  Master Hsing Yun burst out laughing and said: "That's not me. But it's good that you can learn to look up."

  Unfortunately, in our times today, more and more people are looking down on everything, and few people will lift their heads to gaze upwards.

  Therefore, cities with too many high-rise buildings have become lower.

  Li Xiaolin called and said she's moving house. That courtyard will become a memorial hall for people to visit.

  This is a good thing, but I won't go in to visit for the time being. Too many memories, all concentrated together by that west-facing gate with a mailbox, I'm afraid of seeing too many curious eyes reading them too superficially.

  Wukang Road is still relatively quiet, so at night, the courtyard will still seem abstract. Without the old people and family members in the courtyard, there should still be the wind and insect sounds of the past, right?

  Then I'll write down these words first. Go and take a look, we'll talk about it later.