What are your memories of New Year's? For me, my memories of New Year's can be summed up in three points: dumplings, crowds, and Journey to the West.

  Dumplings don't need much explanation, this is something we've already eaten to the point of boredom. To be honest, I used to be a picky eater, but after drifting around alone for a few years, due to irregular eating habits, now that I'm back home, I basically want to eat whatever I see. Thinking about it, being a picky eater is really just a result of living a good life. When you're starving, what won't you eat?

  During the New Year, there are indeed many people in my family, over a dozen. Because of my grandmother's relationship, which I mentioned earlier, she has six children and my father is the youngest. These six children have all started their own families and some have even become grandfathers. When it comes to Chinese New Year, they all gather together. For the reunion dinner, we need to set up three tables. After dinner, my uncles start playing mahjong while my older brothers organize a card game of "Fight the Landlord".

  All day long, I'm the only one who has nothing to do, so I can only watch TV. As soon as I mention TV, it's a bit nauseating, no matter which channel you tune into, it's all "Wukong!" "Big Brother!" "Stupid monster!"

  It's like a Spring Festival Gala that has been going on for over a decade, watching it makes me feel entangled. I remember since I was old enough to know things, I've been watching this every year, and back then, just one New Year's Eve was enough to make me happy, and with a handful of melon seeds, I could watch for a whole day. In my heart, I admired the master's infinite magic. But now when I watch it again, I feel a bit helpless. Classics are classics, but can't be broadcast on over 20 channels at the same time.

  I had a cigarette in my mouth, watching those monsters without background all fell down, while those with background were taken away by the heavens. In my heart, I thought, what kind of TV drama is this? It's just like a harmonious society. You wouldn't believe it, but according to my observation, there are indeed two criminals without background who weren't killed by Master Brother - one was the black bear monster with a split head, and the other was the red boy with a exposed butt.

  These two goods have a good life, and they were taken away by Guanyin Bodhisattva as laborers. One with a strong physique became a gatekeeper, and the other with a revealing appearance became a secretary. Greatly compassionate and greatly merciful Bodhisattva, you should know that Shengying Dawai eats people no less than those monsters who only want to eat Yuhuang Gege. Is it just because he has a delicate face and can gain your favor?

  Those ugly monsters can only have this one scene, it's so annoying to watch. I was about to change the channel when I saw that this episode is actually the one where Master Brother just achieved his goal and then got hooked by two blind ghosts.

  Watching Master Brother fight in the underworld, kicking Judge Pangu and beating Wuchang, I feel relieved. He's so powerful! If I had Master Brother's skills, I'd be fearless. What do I have to fear from Xie Bi'an? Why look for that runaway female ghost? I'd just fly up to heaven and flirt with Chang'e.

  With a sigh, I couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness. To think that this year is almost over and next December will mark the end of my two-year agreement with Old Xie. Time really flies, how can I find that elusive female ghost?

  Unfortunately, there is still no clue now. When I went home and told my old father about the current situation of Liu's family, the elders decided to go and have a look after the Chinese New Year.

  Alas, "The Book of Three Purities"! Everything originated from this book. Just thinking about it makes me annoyed. If only I had studied "Three Pureness Divination", how great would that be?

  I sent a text message to Lao Yi, asking what he was doing. After a while, Lao Yi replied with a message telling me that he was still studying his new invention.

  I thought to myself, what a load of nonsense, last time he said it would be successful right away, but in the end it still wasn't done, and it almost got us both into trouble. But thinking about it again, I couldn't blame him for that, after all, the art of Qigong is really too profound, and Old Yi's current level can already be considered a great master, he's just a stupid great master.

  I don't know how I got through the day, anyway it was just aimless, until evening when the aunties had cooked dinner and we started eating and drinking. This year's passing is also most real at this time.

  I have a sister, the rest are all brothers, they are children of those uncles' families, now they all have their own families and kids. This whole table is full of couples, only I am left alone with a silly smile on my face. My heart feels a bit uncomfortable.

  My second brother joked with me and said: "Why haven't you brought a wife back home yet?"

  I smiled wryly and said nothing.

  Don't mention this anymore, just thinking about it brings tears to my eyes. The women I've met over the years are either already taken or pitifully ugly. The only two who have been with me are now gone their separate ways. What a waste, damn it!

  The wine didn't taste good either, after dinner, they continued, some played poker, others played mahjong. My aunts were wrapping dumplings for the night while watching the Spring Festival Gala.

  Looking at this pure and harmonious Spring Festival Gala, I'm also annoyed. This is too peaceful, right? I have some doubts about how those cross-talks can go on stage. Can these really make people laugh? They're not even as interesting as the dirty jokes told at ordinary dinner tables. They're all just flattering and sycophantic things. We've listened to them for so many years and are fed up with them, yet they still keep spouting nonsense.

  This thing was originally from the folk, you have to make it so elegant, although art comes from life but is higher than life, but you've already detached from life, what's left to say about art? What's the difference between this and an annual meeting report? Don't they know that being detached from the masses is basically equivalent to seeking one's own death?

  Maybe it's just that our small minds haven't progressed and can't appreciate such profound art? Or as Mr. Guo said, let's just stick to watching crosstalk, forget about appreciating art.

  Later I thought about it, no, since they can be on the Spring Festival Gala, there must be some reason to their family. As the saying goes, "no smile on the mouth but a smile in the heart", it seems that this is the highest realm of Crosstalk.

  It's also true that if cross-talk doesn't make you laugh, then it's really ridiculous.

  It's almost twelve o'clock, and everyone's phones have received New Year's messages to varying degrees, with the same old clichés. I also got one from Zhang Yaxin, it seems this little girl isn't mad at me, which is good. Just as I put down my phone, I received another message. I picked it up and took a look - an unfamiliar number, just one sentence.

  "Wishing you a happy new year with all your wishes coming true and getting out of the gloom as soon as possible."

  "My god, who is this? They know me so well and that I'm worried now. So I replied with 'Happy New Year, who are you?'"

  But I waited for ten minutes and there was no response from the other side. I thought to myself, who could this be? Could it be one of those girls I've had a crush on for a long time?

  Just as I was wondering who it was that sent me this text message, I suddenly felt a chill run down my spine, causing me to shudder involuntarily. After all these years of training, I had almost developed a conditioned reflex for vigilance. Because what I sensed wasn't just an ordinary chill, but rather an aura with extremely negative energy.

  My goodness, isn't it? On the first day of the Lunar New Year, what kind of guts does something have to come out today, let alone enter someone's home? The "Fu" character on the gate and the window decorations were all pasted upside down!

  Do you know what those things are for warding off evil spirits?

  Thinking of this, I couldn't help but tense up. What the hell is going on? This can't be good, especially during the New Year's festival. If something bad happens, it'll be so inauspicious! And with so many people at home now, it's not like I can even throw a punch. What am I supposed to do?!

  Fortunately, no matter what is coming to my house now, it's almost twelve o'clock. After the sketch is finished, my family will set off firecrackers and eat dumplings. When the time comes, a thousand rounds of land red will be fired, and all kinds of evil spirits will be blown away. As long as nothing goes wrong during this period, it will be fine.

  Just as I was on my guard, a child's cry came from afar. It was my little nephew who was not yet one year old. My second sister-in-law was holding him and upon seeing the child crying for no reason, she said in surprise: "Strange, wasn't he just fed? Could it be that he has urinated?"

  No, absolutely not. I suddenly remembered what Ninth Uncle told me, which is that when people are first born, all of their eyes are open.

  It is said: "Just past the road of reincarnation, looking back at the nether world."

  This is exactly the description of a newborn baby, who can see those so-called dirty things because at this time the baby's eyes are clean and have not been influenced by anything. It is said that everyone has experienced this. However, most people have already forgotten it. By the age of five or six, due to starting to eat grains and the increasing vigor of fire energy, all the innate spiritual paths are slowly closed, and after that, those filthy things can no longer be seen. If you want to reopen the spiritual path, you need to rely on certain means.

  I thought about it, and this little nephew of mine is still less than a week old, his eyes are not yet closed, he must have seen something that's why he cried.

  This won't do! Dammit, this is too much bullying! No matter what you are, scaring kids is no skill at all! This has really ignited my fire, I rummaged through the drawer and pulled out a piece of paper, then quietly walked to the courtyard, cut my finger and drew a 'Ding You Wen Gong Lu Fu'. Thinking to myself, let's see what kind of thing you are first! If not, I'll set off fireworks now and blast you to death, you evil beast.

  I opened my eyes with 'Ding You Wen Gong Lu Fu' and then walked into the house as if nothing had happened. When I got to the back of the house, I took a glance upwards, and despite being prepared, I still felt a chill.

  My second sister-in-law was sitting on the sofa coaxing the child, but my little nephew cried even more. I finally found out why - an old hunchbacked woman in a long gown was squatting on the ground laughing and tickling my little nephew's feet with her hands one by one.

  This old lady is so familiar to me, with a pointed mouth and a monkey-like face, dressed like a landlady, who else could it be if not Huang San's wife who almost killed me back then?