Chapter 3: Hallowed Resources

  Jeremy used the plastic fork that had come with his Alfredo linguini to twirl another messy log of cheesy noodles and brought it to his mouth. The vending machine he had retrieved the meal from had a blond-haired goblin chef with flaring nostrils and an angry expression inside it who had grumpily taken one look at Jeremy and snapped out,

  “No! No whomper! Copyrighted!”

  At Jeremy’s bafflement and lack of response, the goblin chef then prepared the sumptuous meal of Alfredo in a blur of flame and screaming mice noises within about fifteen seconds and slid it through the machine’s opening with a plastic fork sticking up from the noodles.

  Jeremy had taken the free meal and seated himself at a table in the break room farther from the fridge and cluster of tubes that had spat out the cloud of distressed pixies earlier in his work shift. The seat was as comfortable as most of the breakroom chairs he had had the misfortune of experiencing, somewhat like a light mugging by a burlap-wrapped board studded with dull nails.

  Jeremy had shied away at the approach of a few odd creatures in shifting forms that came up to him with plates of various disturbing meals of their own. Seeing his reaction, they had bobbed their variously shaped bodies at what he interpreted as an apology and left him alone before moving to another of the breakroom tables.

  Halfway through his meal, the demon had swaggered into the room to dirty looks shot at him from the other employees in the breakroom. The red-skinned personification of thousands of years of spooky stories about temptation and destruction smacked a pixie out of the air that was blocking the cupboard over the sink next to the coffee machine. Retrieving a mug with the slogan, “Downhill is easier, Let me help,” he moved to the coffee pot.

  He ignored the pixie screeching in fury at him and let forth a string of guttural phrases that hurt Jeremy’s ears. When nothing happened, the demon glared at the coffee pot as his eyes glowed ominously. The coffee pot let out shrieks of tortured souls and spat a caustic bubbling liquid into the pot. He filled his cup with the abomination swirling angrily in the pot and then threw the whole pot into the garbage at the end of the counter.

  Setting the cup on the counter, the demon snatched the still screeching pixie out of the air and casually ripped off its wings as it shrieked in pain. Dropping the now wingless and bleeding pixie towards the floor, he used his shiny penny loafers to boot the screaming figure out the door like a mystically angry hacky sack.

  Spotting Jeremy in the room, a wide grin plastered across his face. The smile revealed too human teeth for that predatory of a grin. He sauntered over to Jeremy, who calmly remixed his noodles to get an even coating of the sauce on all of them.

  The demon sat down and observed Jeremy enjoying his noodles. Neither of them spoke as the meal was consumed at an unhurried pace. The demon gazed at Jeremy with his creepy smile. Jeremy gazed back with a placid expression as noodly goodness slid over his palette in a satisfactory wave of delicious, creamy goodness. Jeremy let his gaze idle over the figure across from him.

  The demon sitting before Jeremy at the breakroom table wore a pinstriped white shirt, red suspenders, and horn-rimmed glasses, accentuating the oddly angled horns jutting from his forehead. It slurped noisily at the coffee cup in the satisfied arrogance of more life experience than the silly human sitting across from him.

  “That’s what you have to remember, boy. It’s called the human race, but none of you are going to win. You all die at the end.”

  Jeremy burped noisily at the demon and his lack of a segway. The red-skinned thing twisted its mouth at the disrespect. Jeremy looked embarrassed.

  “Excuse me, the food is high quality here.”

  Jeremy looked to the vending machine where the goblin chef was glancing at the human as he prepared another meal for a wiggling fur-striped cat thing bouncing eagerly in front of it, waiting for its meal. Jeremy gave a thumbs up to the goblin chef and said,

  “Great job on the noodles, the sauce is excellent.”

  The goblin chef paused in slicing the vegetables in front of it, picked up a tomato, and snarled as he threw it at the glass front of the vending machine. The fur-striped creature waiting for its meal ducked reflexively as the tomato splattered against the glass. Jeremy could hear angry goblinoid screeching coming from behind the now-spattered glass.

  A mechanical arm with a squidge descended from inside the machine and quickly cleaned the glass before retreating. The coiled tail of the stripe-furred thing lifted its body cautiously from the floor to peer inside the machine to glance worriedly at its meal.

  Jeremy blinked as the demon spoke again,

  “A bit of free advice: Chef Grumpsey doesn’t like criticism, good or bad.”

  Another angry screech issued from the vending machine as the goblin chef slapped a red button on one wall of the inside. The glass front slid sharply up as the fur-striped thing scrambled out of the way. The goblin chef slung a knife through the open window at the demon before the glass snapped back down into place, muffling the noise from the chef somewhat.

  The knife flying through the air made Jeremy twitch reflexively and throw himself to the floor. The demon leaned back casually as the knife sailed through the air where his eye had just been, allowing the knife to sink into the wall next to the coffee pot with a solid thunk. The demon spoke again,

  “Better reflexes than I expected from a human, I’ll note that for our future endeavors.”

  “Jeremy!”

  Jeremy looked up from his prone position on the ground. Mr. Brown was standing at the entrance of the break room with his wings flapping in agitation and the expression of a father spotting an idle child doing something naughty. The demon’s smile widened further, stretching his lips obscenely to either side of his head. He wiggled his horns at Jeremy and disappeared.

  “Naps are not part of your allotted use of lunchtime resources! Did Ik and Oog not cover that in your introductory training?”

  “Yes, Mr. Brown. But what about-”

  “Excuses are not reasons, Jeremy. In this moment in time I dictate which are which. Now, get up and follow me. You have a meeting with Yuudoh that was supposed to start ten minutes ago.”

  Jeremy sighed and got to his feet. Looking forlornly at his empty plate he snagged its disposable corpse from the table and delivered it to the trash as the rest of the creatures in the breakroom looked on. Mr. Brown tapped his foot in the air with impatience while floating on his wings in agitation.

  On his way out of the breakroom, Jeremy gave a friendly wave to a pair of squat flesh-toned goblins sporting more dangly decorations of various shiny baubles than common fashion sense would dictate as a good idea. The pair were hanging around the cupboards under the sink, their heads barely reaching the counter.

  One of them, who had what looked like a plastic bracelet dangling from his belt, gave a halfhearted wave and was smacked upside the back of his head by his companion, who scowled.

  A cloud of smoke burst into existence centered on the sink above them. The smoke had rainbow sparkles. The cloud cleared as the too-dubiously dressed goblins recoiled from the figure that had appeared. A furious expression crossed the fey-featured creature Jeremy thought was male, judging by the generous bulge featured on the fey thing’s linen-clad crotch.

  Without a word, the fey-featured gentleman snagged both goblins by the ear, and all three disappeared in another cloud of rainbow smoke. Jeremy blinked and looked at Mr. Brown. Who was rubbing the bridge of his nose and squinting at the floor as he muttered,

  “Damn it, bowman. I talked to you about those pants.”

  “Wha-”

  “Above your pay grade, Jeremy. Don’t ask questions you can’t handle the answers to. Come on, we’re late.”

  Jeremy followed Mr. Brown as he floated back through the maze of cubicles and to the elevator. Ik and Oog waved lazily as he passed, and he smiled nervously at them. Ik looked back at the computer in front of his massive furry form to thump it with a meaty fist and protesting crunch. The machine let out a softly warbling alarm until Ik thumped it again. Oog smiled at his brother’s tech-savvy, then threw Jeremy a massive, hairy thumbs up in reassurance.

  Mr. Brown floated into the elevator on buzzing wings and held the door with another frown as Jeremy hurried to catch up. Sliding into the space of the elevator, the pair waited and waited some more.

  Mr. Brown frowned at the closing doors when nothing else happened. He waved a hand in impatience at the control panel of the elevator. Sparks of electricity coursed through the panel, and small tendrils of smoke curled up from the buttons. Soft and copyrighted clarinet music started up from the speakers in the ceiling. Mr. Brown rolled his eyes and leaned against the back of the elevator behind Jeremy in resignation as he started to tap a foot to the beat of the music.

  Jeremy awkwardly shifted in place as the elevator started to move. Mr. Brown settled to the floor with a few stuttering buzzes from his wings. Jeremy opened his mouth to speak, and Mr. Brown interrupted him.

  “Reminder, Jeremy. I am not human. I do not need or want small talk.”

  Jeremy’s mouth snapped shut with a click, and he stared at the doors in less awkward silence. The soft, copyrighted clarinet music continued to echo through the cramped space of the elevator. After a few minutes of listening to it, Jeremy couldn’t keep silent and opened his mouth to be interrupted by Mr. Brown again,

  “He had enough talent to be despised across destinies, Jeremy. He also had a highly skilled manager who landed a contract for the ages. Elevators and waiting rooms are a weird niche to negotiate, but no one can argue it didn’t set him up for life. Look, we’ve arrived. Now, we can stop this inane prattle. Yuudoh! Your six o’clock is here!.”

  A soft chime sounded over the haunting music of the clarinet.

  Jeremy made a startled squawk as Mr. Brown grabbed the back of Jeremy’s shirt and the waist of his pants and then picked him up. Grunting in minor effort, Mr. Brown chucked Jeremy into a room that had been revealed as the elevator doors slid open once more.

  Jeremy slid nose-first across the linoleum as the skin of his palms and face squealed against it to announce his arrival to the inhabitants of the room. Jeremy grumbled under his breath,

  “At least I’m in HR already. Makes lodging a complaint easier.”

  He dusted himself off unnecessarily as he clambered to his feet and took in the noisy room he had been unceremoniously and rudely thrown into. It reminded Jeremy of an eighties newsroom floor with more cocaine.

  His tour as handyman and caretaker for figures of destiny had prepped him for strange creatures and beings with an air of power around them. It had not prepared him for similar creatures all shouting into phones and screaming obscenities into the faces of computer screens as they typed furiously. The only commonality among the creatures was that everyone was wearing a see-through green plastic visor.

  It reminded Jeremy of an old movie portrayal of certified public accountants if someone had doped everyone up on amphetamines and stuck them in a human-sized paint can shaker before setting them loose to accomplish a vaguely defined task. A small creature sped up to Jeremy on a skateboard.

  It had a pebbled, scaly-looking skin with colored stripes. A large white stripe ran down the center of its triangular-shaped head as it opened a mouth filled with wicked-looking sharp teeth and hissed words at him,

  “Jair’Me, follow!”

  It hopped back on its skateboard and glided away from Jeremy. Not seeing anyone else who didn’t look like he would be knifed for interrupting whatever it was they were doing, Jeremy wisely followed the little skateboarding demon.

  “HR here seems like a calmer place than back home.”

  The skateboarding creature weaved through a maze of desks toward a corner of the enormous room. Jeremy followed in his wake like a timidly spinning blimp afraid of tumultuous clouds arguing policies to unseen clients.

  As they weaved toward a frosted glass enclosure with muffled flashing multi-colored lights emanating from within, he did his best to ignore the screaming of obscenities by various creatures into phones around him. More disturbing to him was the sight of a representative consoling clients who sat in front of it bawling their eyes out.

  A pair of the bloodshot orbs that had escaped their grasping hands rolled into the side of his bootied shoes with a wet squelch. The horribly upset pair of sasquatch screaming inconsolably in despair at each other didn’t seem to notice.

  Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

  The representative at that desk, a much shorter sasquatch, hurried over to retrieve the orbs stuck to the side of his shoe. Jeremy looked on in horror as the short-squatch profusely apologized while gently prying the eyeballs, now screaming themselves, from the side of his footwear.

  “Sorry, they just found out one of them forgot to resubmit for health coverage at the end of this century.”

  Jeremy grasped for something to say, his mouth flapping. His vocabulary shrugged its shoulders at him as he replied with a lame duck,

  “Do I need to worry about that?”

  The short squatch eyed him up and down, its eyes lingering on the silver-starred hat and booties of PDPE Jeremy was sporting before spotting the agitated skateboarding creature tugging at Jeremy’s pant leg. The full-sized sasquatches behind it grew more agitated, one of them missing its eyeballs, screaming louder and pounding violently on the desk they were seated in front of.

  The short-squatch in front of Jeremy glanced over its shoulder with a worried expression before it attempted to smile with reassurance. The wickedly sharp canines were not reassuring.

  “Ah, you’re the other mortal Mr. Habit found, aren’t you?”

  “Other mortal?”

  “Sorry, I really shouldn’t be gossiping with new hires, Yuudoh hates that and- Oh, celestials.”

  The short-squatch rushed back to his station as one of the eyeless sasquatch behind him picked up the desk and threw the entire piece of furniture through a nearby window. Jeremy watched in shock as a platoon of pixies bearing batons that sparked with angered lightning course down their length swarmed out of the vents of the ceiling. The cloud of winged mob justice surrounded the taller sasquatches and started screaming at them to get down.

  The short-squatch was trying to get the attention of the jackbooted pixies. Jeremy yelped in pain as the skateboarding creature he was supposed to be following impatiently tugged at his pantleg one more time, then leaned in and chomped him on the leg. He held his bleeding leg and stared at the bloody grin of the creature as it hissed angrily,

  “Fall’ ow’!”

  Seeing that Jeremy was paying attention again, the nasty little creature skated off. Jeremy limped after his guide as he tried to ignore the short-squatch being tazed by a taller mirror-shaded pixie behind them. Seeing Jeremy’s gaze, the pixie pointed two minuscule fingers at his glasses and then at Jeremy in an intimidating gesture.

  Jeremy wisely skedaddled after his angry pint-sized guide, who was so kind as to get his attention through sweet, reasonable screeching this time. They arrived at the frosted glass enclosure, and the creature that had guided him took a deep breath before smoothing its clawed hands over the stripes on its head. The creature knocked a pattern onto the door of the enclosure. The door swung inward, and Jeremy was ushered inside.

  A red-furred looming creature sat behind a mahogany desk with a headset wrapped tightly around its enormous noggin and under the horns that sprouted out just above its ears and drooped towards its shoulders. A floating screen in front of it let forth scintillating flashes of color that made Jeremy nauseous to see.

  The door swung shut behind Jeremy, and the sound outside the room was cut off. The small striped creature nervously adjusted the skateboard under its arm as it waited near the door. Jeremy was not so rude as to speak to a being so engaged in what seemed a delicate conversation.

  The red-furred brute listened to a screaming voice clearly heard echoing from its headset. It gazed thoughtfully with drooping, sad eyes at Jermey and the little striped creature standing nervously by the door. Red fur spoke, cutting off the screaming voice.

  “Despite the portrayal of a dimwitted yet big-hearted creature just trying to help by my cousin in that unfortunate stint of his youthly sowing of wild oats, I am not an idiot or patient, Miss Yaga. Call back when you can be more civil.”

  The red-furred giant lifted a clawed oversized hand and tapped the side of its headset, ending the call. The flashing lights stopped emitting from the screen in front of Yuudoh, greatly easing Jeremy’s discomfort.

  “Apologies, Jeremy. I am Yuudoh, the head of hallowed resources. As such, my time here in HR is in great demand. Thank you for coming as I make it a point to greet all new hires before handing them off to one of my more experienced reps to assist in their initial paperwork.”

  Yuudoh glanced down at Jeremy’s still bleeding leg. The blood had oozed down the outside of his pant leg to drip onto Jeremy’s PDPE booties. The blood sizzled as it struck the fabric of the booties. Jeremy’s skin had started itching near the bite, so he leaned down and scratched at it through his blood-soaked pant leg.

  Yuudoh’s enormous, sad, keenly intelligent eyes narrowed at the sight. He rumbled in a slow, inauspicious wave of soft anger that would crush impudent sources of aggravation.

  “Well, now. How did that happen?”

  He glanced at the shifting creature by the door, who started to panic at the attention. The creature slowly reached the door handle behind it and tried tugging it open. The door inched inward momentarily before Yuudoh stood and roared in fury as his massive thighs scooted his desk a few feet toward the panicking creature. The creature screeched in fear and scrambled to exit the room.

  Yuudoh lifted his fanged mouth toward the ceiling and roared again. The frosted glass all around the room shattered, and Jeremy heard a cacophony of shrill beeps and electronic shrieks of rage as the little striped creature fled, chased by copy machines and faxes that skittered after it in little plastic dances of hate and denied fury.

  Outside the office, Jeremy found himself trapped with a furious, red-haired, fanged monstrosity; further chaos erupted in the wake of the pursuit. The striped creature attempted to flee the office equipment, chasing him by leaping from desk to desk and further disrupting the other employees. It made three gloriously graceful leaps before one of the corded phones on a desk lashed out and tangled its legs.

  Letting out a squawk of despair as it fell, the office machinery charged through the walls of the cubicles and dogpiled on top of it. Jeremy heard a shriek as a spray of blood erupted, painting the ceiling of that cubicle. The resident man-sized mouse squeaked in protest at the reports he had been working on being soaked beyond recognition.

  Disturbing cracking and grinding sounds came from the pack of disgruntled machinery, causing Jeremy’s face to turn a delightfully disgusting shade of green that turned the head of one of the female goblin office workers. Yuudoh noticed Jeremy’s reaction as well and was quick to clarify,

  “Oh, don’t worry. They can’t be killed that easily.”

  “Your reassurance that much violence can’t stop them is noted and unappreciated.”

  Yuudoh frowned mightily at the sass but moved on quickly without giving it attention.

  “Frank was on his third strike this week. He’ll be back at getting written up in a few days. Let’s tend to that bite before I have to complete even more paperwork or hunt down what you’ll become.”

  Casually sliding the enormous desk back into place with one hand, Yuudoh rummaged in one of the drawers for a moment before withdrawing a familiar-looking I.R.E device and turning the nozzle toward Jeremy. The bleeding human panicked and started backing toward one of the broken windows to escape.

  Yuudoh raised his shaggy brows and grunted a short bark of a roar at him. A fax machine wearing a kamikaze bandana leaped in the window from behind Jeremy and brained him in the back of his skull. He fell to the floor in front of the head of HR, who calmly sprayed him mercilessly with the I.R.E until the human’s body locked up.

  Putting away the extinguisher in his desk, he retrieved a syringe as long as Jeremy’s arm and plunged it into Jeremy’s leg near the bite. Searing pain and a vision of broken, half-thought-out inventions on a holiday morning danced through his mind.

  Jeremy twitched on the floor and groaned. He twitched again, and his body began to unlock. He painfully crawled toward the exit of the room. Outside the office, more yelling could be heard from the various office workers attempting to set the world to rights after the kerfuffle of mayhem and murder exploded through their midst.

  With a wave of Yuudoh’s hairy arm, the frosted glass that had shattered from windows all around the room made a tinkling waterfall sound as it shimmied back into place, cutting off all sound and sight from outside the room. Yuudoh commented,

  “There. Now, we should be good to go. Stop trying to escape, and please, have a seat.”

  Shuffling toward the chair in front of Yuudoh’s desk with the nervousness of acrophobia at a bungee jump seminar, Jeremy eased into position as Yuudoh steepled their massive paws and gazed calmly at Jeremy.

  “I apologize for Frank’s indiscretion escorting you here. The numbers for their union are down, and they have resorted to…unsavory recruitment practices.”

  Jeremy took some calming breaths and thought. Deciding a formal complaint on his first day was a bad idea he went with laughing off his narrowly avoided transformation into an unwilling union member with humor. It helped him avoid turning into a puddle of panic.

  “Since I think what you injected me with stopped it, it is no longer my circus or my monkey’s. Can we get to why I’m here?”

  Yuudoh smiled with terrifying teeth and gratitude at Jeremy. He took a folder from a drawer of his desk. Opening it, he began reading the contents of the top page in the stack of documents.

  “Jeremy Thorson, You have been accepted into a probationary position in the scheduling Department here at C.O.P.E. after two years of exemplary service at Mr. Habit’s personal Project, the Guild of Grandfathers. Is that accurate so far?”

  Jeremy frowned,

  “Wasn’t it Mr. Habit’s Retirement Home for the Grandparents of Destiny?”

  “That trademark case was deemed a dead end after some legal snafus in the celestial court. Mr. Habit went with a shorter name that nobody cared to argue against and save some header space. It’s a shame. Baba Yaga was pissed about it more than Mr. Habit, and personally, I feel it lacks inclusivity.”

  Jeremy nodded his head in agreement,

  “I can see how she would take exception to be referred to as a grandfather. Yuudoh smiled wryly and continued.

  “Upon accepting your original post, Mr. Habit struck a deal with you that upon garnering a position with C.O.P.E., you could put portions of your 401k match and pay toward altering a destiny of your choosing. Do you still wish to go forward with that deal?”

  “Very much so. I would like to change things for-.”

  “Stop.”

  Yuudoh interrupted with a serious frown.

  “You will not speak of whose destiny you wish altered within the halls, offices, bathroom facilities, break rooms, storage closets, or any grounds owned and operated by C.O.P.E. at any time, or the agreement is considered Jinxed and will be nullified. Am I clear?”

  Jeremy’s face pinched into a dissatisfied wreck of confusion.

  “Then how will I-.”

  Yuudoh chuckled in a rumbling rockslide of amusement.

  “You’re in Hallowed Resources, Jeremy. With paperwork, of course.”

  Yuudoh handed Jeremy a stack of forms from the folder on the massive creature’s desk and a fountain pen as big as the human’s forearm. Patiently guiding him, Yuudoh showed which I’s to dot and T’s to cross in the complicated forms. Smiling as Jeremy signed the last form with blood, he tapped from a finger with the oversized fountain pen without being asked. Yuudoh clapped with a gleaming yard rake smile.

  “Excellent. We left enough for you to live on and pay your union dues, but with that out of the way, I can have Bealzebubbah take you to filing. Your agreement will be recorded and acted upon at your first pay period disbursement. Welcome to C.O.P.E.”

  Yuudoh carefully stood and extended a steam shovel-sized hand to Jeremy in welcome. Nonplussed at how to exchange the greeting with a hand equal in proportion to his torso, Jeremy settled for grasping one of the fingers and pumping the hand once in gratitude.

  Yuudoh continued to smile and pressed a button on his desk. The door to the office swung open. The Demon from the breakroom, wearing the same red suspenders contrasted against a white pinstriped shirt and horn-rimmed glasses, walked inside to snarl at Jeremy,

  “Let’s go, Meatbag. Other things need doing.”

  Yuudoh let out a weary sigh.

  “Bealz, we talked about this. If you want a better position in HR, you have to have more tact, regardless of your feelings towards your coworkers.”

  Bealzebubbah did not appear to be intimidated by Yuudoph’s size or fangs.

  “Yes, Mr. Yuudoh. It will only happen one more time.”

  Yuudoh pinched the bridge of his massive nose with his clawed hand and muttered,

  “If not for your mother, Bealz.”

  Bealz grinned wickedly with smaller, sharper fangs showing,

  “Nepotism helps the world get ground down, Mr. Yuudoh.”

  Jeremy looked back and forth between the massive form of Yuudoh and the recurring figure of antagonism that was to be his escort to file his purpose for starting this job in the first place. He tipped his starred hat back a little on his head and commented.

  “You have got to be kidding me. We all know this is a bad idea.”

  Bealzebubbah’s sharp grin grew wide enough to cause fatal bleeding in bystanders, and he replied,

  “My duties and responsibilities are taken with the utmost care, Mr. Thorson. There will be no overt antagonism made against you during this task.”

  Yuudoh sat heavily back into his chair and spoke,

  “Jeremy, Bealzebubbah has been with us for a few centuries and will be the pinnacle of professionalism during your escort to filing. Our security teams almost always observe his activities. Oog or Ik will retrieve you afterward to finish today’s shift. Get out of here. I have other employees to help.”

  Bealzebubbah clapped Jeremy on the back a little too hard, causing him to jump in startlement.

  “Let’s go, Mr. Meatbag.”

  Yuudoh sighed heavily again.

  Against a judgment screaming in hysterics about unfortunate consequences, Jeremy left Yuudoh to his work and followed the demon out of the room. Being blasted with the HR department's noise as they exited Yuudoh’s office hardly ruffled the demon’s composure while staggering Jeremy.

  The demon steadied Jermy with a surprisingly gentle claw and escorted him to the elevators, snazzily weaving through the bustling bodies rushing around the department. Along the way, Jeremy noted that the demon would occasionally swerve off the path they were taking. He would tip a pencil or sheaf of papers off a desk, unnoticed by the persons trying to navigate complex HR situations.

  Wherever the demon interfered, tempers would flair at that desk, and participants in the battle of bureaucracy would start yelling and gesticulating in anger. Arriving at the elevators, they stepped into the container, and Jeremy said with enough snide to give an onlooker whiplash at the stark contrast of his normal,

  “That’s professionalism?”

  Bealzebubbah grinned again, pushed a button on the bank of controls near the door, and stated,

  “I believe you would call me fond of something commonly referred to as ‘Dick Moves’.”

  “No doubt. So, are you the subtle kind of dickhead, or can we just have it out right now?”

  Bealzebubbah’s grin faded like a dying sunset, unwilling to give up on the beautiful horror of the day. As they rode, basking in the music playing from the speakers, he calmly looked over Jeremy’s PDPE as he fingered the horns jutting from his forehead and stated,

  “I’m not your direct enemy, Jeremy. You have more terrifying things to worry about than me.”

  Jeremy shivered at the calm words that threw him back into memory.