From a distance, the sound of laughter could be heard from within the courtyard. Her laughter... Jingxuan stopped in his tracks, listening intently, his eyes unconsciously falling on the snow-covered tree hedge.

  "Mommy, Mommy..." Yunkai's laughter was also joyful, his words were very clear but still carried the milky tone of a four-year-old child.

  He slowly raised his hand, scooped up some snow from the tree fence, it was very cold, he clenched his fist, and the snow melted into icy water that flowed down from between his fingers.

  Four years...

  His ears were filled with her and the child's playful laughter, he listened, and his mouth also involuntarily floated a faint smile. These hurried, traceless four years, was he happy? Was she happy?

  He walked to the gate of the courtyard, and the maids were all smiling as they watched Meili lead Yunkai to roll snowballs and build a snowman. Meili would occasionally make a small snowball and laugh loudly as she threw it at Yunkai's plump little butt. Yunkai didn't back down either, making snowballs and throwing them wildly at her mother, causing Meili to dodge left and right.

  "Amma!" Yun Ke caught sight of him at the door, beamed with a smile and ran towards him through the snow. At four and a half years old, he was especially dependent on his father and would cling to Amma as soon as he saw him.

  Jingxuan habitually picked him up and patted the snow off his body, but his eyes lingered on the charming smile that had already faded from Mei's face.

  "Welcome back, Your Highness?" She smiled at him, her smile soft and gentle, yet seemingly a deliberate display of a virtuous wife.

  "Mm." He nodded and hugged Yun Kkeo, pulling her icy hands from playing in the snow into the house together.

  She was led by him obediently, but her eyes were on the already married Mo He, instructing her to sweep away the snow in the courtyard.

  It is in such an unintentional moment that he is most deeply hurt in his heart.

  Despair, bordering on desperation.

  She is a good wife, caring for him with warmth and respect, serving him carefully. She also treats Suyun with courtesy and loves Yunju even more. For four years, she never let him worry, but he knows that four years, forty years... He can no longer enter her heart, her heart has all been devoted to her son.

  She finally became his wife, her heart had submitted, but... was no longer the beautiful Lili he wanted.

  She had already filled a hand warmer for him and gently placed it in his hands, she smiled at him: "Are you hungry? Today there are your favorite snacks."

  He nodded and smiled, it turned out that he was not a lucky person either. Heaven gave him some things, but must also take away some things. He also accepted it.

  After dinner, afraid that Yun Ke would bother him, Mei Li took him to play with a puzzle, Jing Xuan sat in the warm chair behind the desk, holding the documents he hadn't finished during the day, quietly watching the mother and son sitting on the kang playing games.

  She is already twenty-two years old, and the vivid expression she shows when playing games with Yun Xie makes him so familiar and nostalgic. Although this heartfelt smile is not shown to him, as long as he can still see it, he is satisfied.

  Every time this happens, he can't help but feel a little resentful and grateful to Yunkai, who is holding on to the woman he loves with all his might, not letting her disappear completely from this world.

  After a while, he gave a faint order: "Prepare water."

  The maid left at the sound, and Meili also knowingly kissed Yunkai's small face, personally sending him to the door, watching with eager eyes as he was led back to his room by the wet nurse. But when she came back, her face still wore a warm smile.

  He looked at her smile, and his heart would suddenly feel empty, then get used to it.

  The warm water overflowed to his neck, he felt a bit of pressure on his breathing, and his heart was stuffy. Gurgle, gurgle... The soft sound of the water was her behind him, scrubbing his back.

  "Meili." He couldn't help but call out to her again, though he didn't actually know what he wanted to say. Gradually, he found himself becoming more and more unsure of what to say to her. Four peaceful years had passed, during which they had become familiar with each other, yet the sense of unfamiliarity in their hearts had been silently accumulating.

  "Hmm?" Her hand was so gentle, yes, she and he were already too familiar with each other, sharing baths, sharing beds... it was only natural.

  He shook his head and indicated it was nothing.

  "Is Su Ying going to give birth soon?" She wiped his sleek and sturdy back, her tone as light as a cloud, making him almost helpless.

  "Hmm!" He grunted somewhat impatiently.

  Husband and wife, he truly understood the meaning of this word deeply. He was husband and wife with Su Ying, and also with Mei Li. Lovers need love, but husbands and wives... don't!

  "Do you want a daughter?" she asked, though in fact she herself had always wanted a daughter, very much so. But she couldn't bear to give birth to another child who would share Yunkai's motherly love with her. She was already deeply enamored with Yunkai. Moreover, she didn't want to give birth to another child destined for an awkward identity either; she couldn't afford the guilt that came with it.

  "Whatever." He stood up, and she also hastily got out of the water to wring out a towel for him. After he wiped himself down, he lay down on the kang covered with a quilt. Every time he heard her mention Su Ying, Yun Jiao, including Su Ying's unborn child in such a casual manner, he couldn't help but feel annoyed.

  She dried herself off and put on her underclothes but didn't immediately get onto the kang, there was a bowl of already warm medicinal soup on the table that she drank seriously.

  He looked at her, she had been taking this medicine for four years, and didn't avoid him, nor did he stop her. Although every time he thought about her not wanting to have a child with him, he would feel a pang of regret and heartache, he coldly smiled, he wasn't lacking in children, and he also didn't want her to give birth to another one that would take away her attention, Yun Ke had already gotten too much, giving birth to another... would leave even less for him.

  He didn't blow out the lamp on her bedside, her emotional expression when she was moved, her dazed eyes filled with desire, he loved them all, it was him who made her so happy, he could satisfy her like this, please her, in the moments they shared, his heart was solid and fiery.

  She is no longer haunted by nightmares, and often flashes a sweet smile when sleeping in his arms. He, who can't sleep, knows clearly that... the one she dreams of is not him.

  Who cares? What kind of year it becomes, what they become in that year, who cares?

  In his arms was her warm, soft and gentle body. He closed his eyes, and in this moment of peace and contentment, he had enough to last a lifetime!

  The door was lightly knocked on, and Yu Nian allowed a small voice to call out pitifully: "Ama, E'niang."

  She trembled with a start in his arms, and everything about Yoon-ah made her extremely sensitive. He let out a quiet sigh, picked up the underwear by the pillow and put it on, and Meryl also woke up, responding to Yoon-ah's call while hastily getting dressed.

  The room was tidy, Jingxuan had just opened the door when Yongkui suddenly jumped in and hugged his leg, "Ama, I'm scared, I want to sleep with you guys."

  Meili lowered her eyes and looked at a dark corner of the room that was not illuminated, without saying a word.

  Jingxuan furrowed his brow, picking up the little doll on his leg, "You came dressed like that? Where's your nanny?"

  Although she didn't say it, how could he not know what she meant?

  "The wet nurse is asleep, she's not as fragrant as Mother. " Yun Ke burrowed into his arms, winking slyly, obviously a flattering lie, "Not as fragrant as Ama either."

  Jingxuan pulled him into the quilt, hugging him tightly, with a hint of revenge for his lie, "Am I fragrant? Sleep on my side."

  "Hmm...hmm..." Yun Ke pouted, "Actually, Mother's is a bit more fragrant."

  "Either sleep with me or go back and sleep with your wet nurse!" He forcibly pressed down on Yun Qiao who was trying to crawl away.

  Meili couldn't help but laugh.

  "Okay." Yu Ke failed to respond in a low voice, being held in Ah Ma's arms, and finally fell asleep after tossing for a while.

  Meili pulled the quilt over for the father and son, snuggling up close to Jingxuan's back... Yes, with this warmth, she could spend a lifetime.