"Pale summer moonlight shimmers on the seafloor.
An octopus, unaware that dawn will bring capture,
Rests within a trap, dreaming fleeting dreams..."
It opened its eyes, looking around. It slowly blinked, as it pushed itself up from the concrete floor. It looked up, seeing some sort of hole, leading down to where it landed. It knew that it should probably be hurting, but it didn't. And it knew that it should know who it was, and why it knew the things around it in the abstract- but it didn't.
As it began to take stock of everything around it, it turned, seeing another creature. On the ground, an Inkling was splayed out, bleeding from their arm, seemingly speared through by an exposed spike of rebar. As it watched, the Inkling pushed itself up, swearing under their breath, and pulling their arm off of the rebar, holding their extra hand over the hole to apply pressure, and glaring it down.
Well, they weren't friendly. It returned to visually exploring, before seeing an open train car. It looked back at the Inkling (who wordlessly glared back), before turning back towards the train car, and walking through the door. The train didn’t start moving, but it was open for it to move down the train and out the back door, into a tunnel. It started moving, before hearing boots clack against steel behind it. It turned, seeing the Inkling, before wordlessly continuing, and wordlessly being followed.
After walking for what felt like a few minutes, it ran into some sort of glass box, with a lock on the front. On the side, they noticed a gap in the wall, and walked through, before being faced by a platform on the ground, with a standing symbol on it. The girl stepped forwards, onto the platform, before glass walls shot up around her, popping up a screen with a central option, and an option in the bottom right corner- respectively, ‘Splattershot Jr. and Splat Bomb’, and ‘Back’.
It reached its arm forwards, selecting the weapon, before the walls dropped, allowing it to continue, into a room full of boxes, and things it didn’t remember- conveyor launchers, and a sponge block in a corner, between the wall and an elevated surface. The girl wandered for a few moments, before stepping atop the sponge, pressing her Slattershot Jr into the sponge, and firing, the sponge expanding to lift her up.
After that, it started breaking the boxes up there, eventually finding the key inside of one of them, and returning to the glass box- on the way, stepping on the platform. It shot back up again, taking its weapons out of its hands, before allowing it to go. It put the key into the lock, before the box cracked open, allowing them access to… more tunnel.
After another few minutes of walking through dark, empty tunnels, the duo came to a lit area again, offering steps to get off of the tracks and onto an elevated platform. It climbed up, before hearing a voice behind it. A feminine voice. “So… who are you?”
It turned, seeing that… the voice probably came from the Inkling. It came to a stop, trying to think. Who… am I?
After a solid minute, it shrugged, failing to find a satisfactory answer. Why couldn’t it answer? It knew what everything around it was, but not even what it was. It just… couldn’t answer. The Inkling spoke again. “... weird kid.”
It continued walking, approaching a central structure within the station- an old-school telephone, with bells and a speaker on the front, almost resembling a face. Once again, the Inkling commented as they approached. “A… telephone pole? Seems… out of place.” They sat down on a nearby bench, wincing as they pressurized their punctured arm.
It approached the telephone, reaching out an arm, and abruptly pulling it back as the bells started ringing. Before… it began to speak. “Greetings, 10,008. Your current location is: Deepsea Metro Central Station.”
It fully flinched back at that. Who was 10,008? And why was the telephone talking, with the speaker moving in weird ways, and the bells almost seeming like eyes, staring through her? “My primary function is to facilitate your journey to the promised land. Pleased to make your acquaintance.”
After speaking, the bells started blaring again, although it remained standing, not shocked- this time, at least. It was already making noise, anyway. Although it got the sense that someone, somewhere, was judging it. The bells stopped, as the phone began to talk again… differently. “What is cracklacking, home skillet? Let us bounce to the promised land fo sho. I am ‘bout it, so listen while I [SLANG_NOT_FOUND] you the facts.”
This… this was deeply upsetting to it. A quick turnaround to the Inkling confirmed their shared feelings, before the phone continued. “You have spent your entire life in the dark. Your eyes closed to the new hotness that awaits.”
That was just insulting. Although… they didn’t remember enough to really refute that point. “The promised land. A utopia of light beyond your wildest dreams. It is all that and a bag of cool beans. I will take you to the promised land now.”
Well. That was nice! It liked light, and presumably, a bag of cool beans was a good thing! That was about all they had time to think, before the phone continued. “NOT! HA HA HA. Psyche out.”
Well. That wasn’t nice. “Only cats who have proven themselves can [ERROR] the promised land. Do you dig, dog?”
It understood that the question about digging was figurative. It didn;t understand, however, why it was being compared to a cat, and then called a dog. Would they turn her into an Inkling? Was that what the telephone meant? “There have been 10,007 applicants so far, which makes you 10,008. This opportunity comes once in a lifetime, yo. Good luck and [SLANG_NOT_FOUND]. This is Deepsea Metro Central Station, the realio dealio central hub of the facility. Here is your CQ-80 and CQ card. They are so bad.”
10,008 wondered why it was being given something that was, apparently, very bad. Regardless, the telephone began seemingly printing out a card from its chin (?), before a lower panel popped off, and some sort of device, with a central joystick, dropped to the ground alongside it. “Guard them with your lizzlife, because if you lose them, you will be [ERROR]. Now come on ride the train. Outie 5000.”
The phone ceased movement, as 10,008 bent down, picking up the card and device. Once it did, a train horn echoed through the tunnels, as a train came through, stopping in Central Station, and opening a door for them. “That… was weird.”
10,008 ignored the comment from the Inkling, stepping into the train. The Inkling followed them, moving to one of the train benches, and continuing to apply pressure. "10,008? Sheesh, that's a dystopian name... uh... what about we call you... Eight? Goes well with my rank. I’m Agent 3, but you can just call me Three."
Eight shrugged, before nodding a moment later. The doors between their section and the next opened, revealing… nobody. Upon looking down, there was some sort of blue, glowy… thing, on the ground, wearing a conductor’s cap. “10,008. 10,008-A. Thank you for using Deepsea Metro today.”
Three laughed a little bit, looking down at the slug. “I did not save Inkopolis just to get called a variant, okay? Call me Agent 3.”
It responded simply. “I am your humble conductor, C.Q.Cumber, and your name is, personally, none of my business. That is what you are called in my system, and as far as I’m concerned, you’re here to help her.”
“I’m here because I fell in a fucking hole, and the only reason I haven’t left is because I can’t! And also, why the fuck would I do your bidding, you slug?”
Eight watched the duo argue. “I take it this is your first time riding with us. You have no other choice.”
Three rolled her eyes, barely even glaring at the ‘Cumber. “Ooh, I’m very scared, you neon blue slug.”
C.Q slugged closer to them, ignoring the Inkling. “Here’s the deal… we’re in a vast underground facility operated by the Kamabo Corporation. It’s a series of test chambers connected by the Deepsea Metro subway system.”
It turned to face Eight. “I see that you’re in use of a CQ-80 device. I take it your aim is to reach the promised land?”
Eight nodded, before the slug continued. “Understood. The promised land is a paradise to which we denizens of the deep are forbidden entry.”
Three began to open her mouth, but the slug raised an appendage, telling to be quiet, and she begrudgingly listened. “To reach it, you must pass a test at each Deepsea Metro station. Some of them will allow you to assist, 10,008-A, and some will not. You must also find and collect the four thangs. When all four thangs have been gatherers, the door to the promised land shall open. Let me show you to your first test. 10,008, activate the CQ-80.”
After a few moments of pondering, Eight pressed down on the joystick, before a holographic map was projected into the air. While Eight was figuring out the CQ-80, Three pulled out her phone, failing to do anything due to a lack of signal, before the slug continued speaking. “This is the Deepsea metro map. Go ahead and select a destination.”
The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.
Eight saw a circle around a sort of dome shape, and the bar on the top said that the selected location was Central Station, and there was an arrow on the top of the circle. It hit the joystick up, and the circle moved, to surround another circle- the map said that she was now on Fake Plastic Station, and the goal of that test was, well.. get to the goal. She pressed down on the joystick, selecting the station. “Well done. The train will be arriving at: A05, Fake Plastic Station, in: 10 minutes."
As the train moved, Three seemed to… fall asleep, as Eight sat down next to her.
It looks just like the real thing…
"You have arrived at: A05, Fake Plastic Station. All occupants should leave the train. For any observers, a screen will allow you to watch the test subject's progress."
As the train began to slow, Eight started poking at her- after a few pokes, the Agent caught her arm out of the air. “I’m awake.”
Eight pointed at the station- a small box, separated from the outside station with glass walls, was open for them to access. Another weapon platform was in the middle, which Eight stepped onto. After that, CQ began to speak.
“This will be a test for 10,008 alone. At each station, the available weapons will be displayed through the equipper. CQ points are required to take each test. We’ll grant you 1,000 to start with. The test fee indicates the number of CQ points needed to take the test. The reward us how many CQ points you will earn for passing the test. Now go ahead and reach out to select a weapon.”
Eight reached out, pressing her palm against the screen once again, before the equipper forced a Splattershot into her hands. “This area we’re in now is called a station platform.”
Well. The slug stopped talking, and Eight started walking around the platform, before coming to the entry gate. “This is a turnstile. Swipe your card in the reader to pay the test fee and begin the test. If you don’t have enough CQ points to take a test, you’ll have to come back to it.”
Eight swiped her CQ card, 300 points were deducted, and the gates flew open, before… seemingly, the ground changed to a conveyor launcher, throwing her through the gate and onto a checkpoint. Three spoke, still on the other side of the glass. “I’ll wait for you here… good luck.”
Eight walked forwards, into the test- and was met by what appeared to be trees, dirt and grass. She held an arm up, feeling the leaves… and they felt like plastic. That was the point of the name, wasn’t it. Regardless, the Octoling walked forwards, before seeing a pillar of bricks, protruding from the ground.
As she approached it, she heard a launch, before… some sort of Octoling landed atop the pillar from a Super Jump. They had green skin and hair, holding a weapon, with shades over their eyes- one side glaring red, the other covered by a tentacle. The Octoling spoke just one word, before jumping down. “Destroy.”
Eight lunged backwards, trying to distance herself, but the Octoling kept running forwards, and as she tried to pull herself up, her armor layer broke, and as she turned to fight back, she was splatted, returning to the checkpoint. Two lives left.
From one of the corners of the test, a computerized version of Three’s voice emitted. “Hey, kid, can you hear me?”
Eight nodded, looking around to see the Inkling, and failing. She was still in the station platform, out of the test. “Alright, well... try to sneak behind that Octoling and splat them that way. I don’t know what happened to them but... they sure as hell aren't friendly.”
Eight nodded again, before heading out. She looped around the pillar, trying to flank the Octoling when they landed again. The Octoling… stayed on the pillar, looked around to find Eight, and then jumped down. A fight ensued, Eight missed, her armor broke, and then she fell. Last Life!
“Okay... Kid, take a deep breath and exhale. Calm your nerves, you can do this.”
Eight nodded, before running in, and just like last time she ran in, she died, not being practiced enough in combat to match a trained soldier, before respawning in the station platform.
“To attempt a test again, you must pay the fee again.”
Once again, Eight swiped her card, 300 points were deducted, and the turnstile spat her out. The girl was mad and scared, blindingly so, and she ran in, and once again, she fell. This was the first test- if she couldn’t beat it, she could never go to the surface! By the time she respawned, Three was back. “Hey… you have your sub, right? Try using it.”
Eight nodded, before running back in. As the Octoling dropped down, Eight threw a Splat Bomb to block her. The Octoling backed off, and Eight excitedly ran forwards… before a Splat Bomb came flying at her. Eight lunged to the side, as the Sanitized counterattacked, splatting her while she scrambled to her feet.
Last Life!
After watching Eight so many times, Three came to a realization. “Do… do you know how to use your swim form?”
Eight cocked her head to the side., and Three sighed. “Alright… try to relax. I don’t entirely know how to explain it- it’s like breathing or blinking.”
After a few moments of Eight trying to make herself relax, she changed to her Swim Form, before returning to her humanoid form once again. She ran forwards, shooting ahead of her, before swimming through it. And swimming right into a pool of enemy ink, before a Splat Bomb shredded her armor, and a burst of Splattershot fire sent her back to the station platform.
She swiped again. 100 CQ points left. If she fell again, it was over. But she had no choice.
Eight ran forwards again, and backed off before landing in the enemy ink. She fired across the puddle, before throwing a Splat Bomb through the ink of the bomb of the other Octoling’s own sub weapon, and finally striking the first enemy down.
A door opened behind the pillar, revealing another checkpoint. Eight stepped foot on it, before it lit up in her colors, and she heard another robotic Octoling voice- “Seek and destroy.” She heard two Super Jumps, and through the trees, saw a Brella-user and a Roller user. She approached the Brella wielding Octoling, and dodged a blast, before breaking the shield with sustained fire, and splatting the Octoling- only a moment later, she felt a Roller strike into her back, as her armor broke and she was pushed down- before she could finish turning to fight back, the roller struck again, and she was sent back to respawn.
Two lives left.
Eight ran back in, moving through the woods, and ambushing the Roller user. Before she had time to turn, something struck her, and pushed her down- the canopy. A Brella blast broke her armor, and she started firing, even beating the Brella-user- but the final blast still killed her.
Last life.
Eight ran in, trying to ambush the Brella-user right as they landed. She reached out, grabbing the canopy and holding it to the side, effectively disarming them for a quick Splattershot blast. She turned, almost anticipating her fate, as the shadow of a Roller swung down. And, in her final moments, no longer able to keep recharging her lives, time seemed to slow down, and a voice echoed through her head.
These trials were made to end anyone deemed ‘unworthy’ of their promised land. This ‘test’ was always rigged, before you opened your eyes. But, if you hear me, it may not be the end of your journey…
You made me wait quite a while. Your body remembers how to fight, but you let your emotions taint the empty landscape of your memory. If you do not change something, you will die, and so will she. Do you wish to fall here, like the common cur you seem?
Eight shook her head, not understanding what was happening, and feeling something bubbling up within her chest.
Very well. You have chosen your path.
Eight put a hand to her chest, dodging under the swing of the Roller as she fell to a knee. Whatever was bubbling up, continued to bubble, almost angrily.
I am thou, thou art I… Thou who is willing to give everything they have to do what they must! Call upon me, and let our newfound power guide your survival!
Eight lit aflame, a burning blue light enwreathing her, as she grabbed the Octoling’s arm and held it in place, stopping her from being able to swing again. The flames wicked off of her body, before taking on a humanoid shape- a woman, her hair loose, holding a book in one hand, marked with the globe on the covers, and a pen in another, as Eight shouted out one, singular, guttural word, her mouth contorted into a wild grin, and her eyes aflame.
“Clio!”
