Year Zero

  Manny grimaced at the paperwork on his desk. Topside had a bunch of new guys

  trying to make it worse for everyone else, which was making it worse for him. He had

  more guys coming in than what he knew what to do with, and most were getting

  recycled almost as fast as the line would move them out.

  The community service they were performing wasn’t doing enough for the place to

  matter before they were shuttled to the jump zone to be shot to their new lives.

  The babies were the worst. They came in, and went right back out without adding

  anything and draining resources.

  He hated to admit it, but he was going to have to give Topside a helping hand to stop

  the flow.

  Miss Vale, his secretary, came into his office. She held a stack of paperwork almost

  half as tall as she was. She deposited the load on his desk. He glared at the pile as he

  jumped to his feet.

  “What’s this?,” he waved at the stack of notices.

  “We have a massive inflow from the city of Riordiana,” said Miss Vale. She waved

  her hand at the papers. “Most causes were eldritch abominations, with collateral

  damage from the looks of things. There are a bunch of pink notices where the souls

  were consumed and used up.”

  “Seriously?,” Manny said. He thumbed through the top of the notices. “How many

  did we lose?”

  “Don’t know yet,” said Miss Vale. “It’s a disaster. Festus Rock Thrower wiped most

  of his minor sins away blowing the thing up. He’s moved up to hero status.”

  “He’s going right to Recycled, and back to the world as soon as possible,” said

  Manny. “He might even be able to jump to the head of the line if he keeps being

  heroic. I have to go down to the Pit. I want you to get me a hundred cards for the

  worst troublemakers Topside has. We have to calm things down. The humans are

  working us to death.”

  “Sending back a Dead Man?,” Miss Vale asked. “That’s a drastic step.”

  “I know,” said Manny. He slammed his hand down on the top of the pile of dead

  notices. “But it has to be done. If this keeps up, we won’t have a Topside to send

  people back to. They’ll do their Community and have to live with us. That will cause

  more problems than having a Dead Man collecting scalps. I don’t like humans enough

  to share more space than I have to with them.”

  “I’ll get the authorization and warrants ready,” said Miss Vale. She walked out of the

  plain office with a lot more hip swing than was necessary.

  Manny straightened his appearance, making sure his scales were bright and fiery,

  horns sharp and filed down, his tunic and pants were clean. He strapped on his sword

  of office and walked out of his office.

  Stupid humans, he fumed as he made his way down to the Pit.

  All they have to do is not do anything to each other and they would be Recycled back

  to a new life after doing a small amount of Community Service. No. That’s too easy.

  Feeding souls to a Doom Engine is so much better than just keeping problems to a

  minimum.

  Manny carried his fuming thoughts from his office near the top of his tower where the

  souls arrived from the living world to be processed down level after level of areas

  where people struggled to perform their Community Service under the eye of demons

  to keep the realm running smoothly to the entrance to the Pit.

  Several of the souls wiped their last sin clean while he moved by and was separated

  out. A runner was attached to them to take them to Recycle to put them in the waiting

  line for a new life.

  Manny entered the Pit, pausing to take in the depth of it. The way things were going

  this would be the hub for new housing for the new souls that would be filling the

  realm shortly.

  “Executive Mandeous,” said Bundle, the demon in charge of the digging. “What can

  I do for you?”

  “Who’s the worst guy you have here?,” Manny asked.

  If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

  A guy who didn’t have much on his record didn’t wind up in the Pit, or any of the

  other massive construction projects across the Underworld.

  “Soul Nine One Three Nine One Four Nine One Zero,” said Bundle. “Multiple

  murderer, and other crimes.”

  “Is he reliable?,” Manny asked.

  “I suppose,” said Bundle. “What’s going on?”

  “I’m thinking about giving him a new job,” said Manny. “Can you send him up to my

  office?”

  “Sure,” said the overseer. “I’ll get him off the chain and get a couple of guys to take

  him upstairs for you.”

  “Thanks, Bundle,” said Manny. “If he doesn’t work out, I’ll need the next worst guy

  here.”

  “Understood, sir,” said the demon. “Be careful with Nine One Three Nine One Four

  Nine One Zero. He’s been here so long, he’s not as scared of us as he should be.”

  “Hopefully this will be something we can work out without any problems,” said

  Manny.

  Manny started the long climb back to his office. Would it be too much of a problem

  to add a lift? He wished he had the energy to fly back up to his office. He didn’t have

  enough happy thoughts for that.

  He walked into his office and unbelted the sword. He put it in an umbrella stand on

  his side of the desk in case he needed it. It had been a while since he had put a soul

  down. Hopefully his candidate wouldn’t push luck as far as that was concerned.

  The prisoner was escorted into the office by two of Bundle’s green and yellow

  lemmings. They sat the soul down in a visitor’s chair and backed up. If he tried to do

  anything but sit, he would be clouted. That was understood.

  “How’s it going?,” asked Manny. “I had you brought up here to offer you a deal.”

  The prisoner stared stonily ahead.

  “Here’s the deal,” said Manny. “I’m prepared to send you Topside so you can take

  care of some business for me. That will go toward mitigating your sentence and move

  you closer to your next life when you’re done.”

  The prisoner said nothing.

  “On the other hand, I’m prepared to take the next best man if he will do the job,” said

  Manny. “What I am asking for is not for the faint of heart.”

  “What’s the business?,” said the prisoner.

  “There’s some guys up there that are causing us trouble,” said Manny. He leaned back

  in his chair. “I want you to go up there and stop them. They’re flooding us with souls

  and I don’t want to work that hard.”

  “You’re pretty honest for a bureaucrat,” said the prisoner. “Let’s say I want to do this

  job for you. How much mitigation am I looking at?”

  “A small portion for every one you bring down,” said Manny. He should have known

  the negotiation was where things were going to get interesting.

  “I want a full pardon,” said the prisoner. “I think rounding up some bad guys deserves

  that much.”

  “Let’s make this a full on challenge,” said Manny, amethyst fires burning in his eyes.

  “You bring me everyone on the warrant cards I am having drawn up in a hundred

  years of Topside time, I will sign the papers to move you to the head of the Recycled

  line.”

  “Sounds fair,” said the prisoner.

  “If you don’t, all the bad things they do will shift to your record,” said Manny.

  “Wait,” said the prisoner. “That has the potential of doubling my sentence.”

  “Tripling, I would say,” said Manny.

  “I’ll need some kind of transportation to get from place to place,” said the prisoner.

  “These guys won’t be living in the same place if you’re giving me such a big time

  limit.”

  “It’s tempting to just let you procure a mount on your own,” said Manny, “but I will

  allow for one of the horses to go with you.”

  “When do I get started?,” said the prisoner.

  “As soon as Miss Vale arrives with the warrant cards,” said Manny. “Don’t try to

  abuse your borrowed time. I want you to hunt these humans down as swiftly as

  possible. Then I will carry out my end of the bargain.”

  “What if I do want to abuse my borrowed time?,” asked the prisoner.

  “The body we are going to put you in will fail at some point ,” said Manny. “The best

  we can claim is a hundred years. It might fail before that.”

  “And if it fails before I am done, then I am stuck with all the unpaid crimes,” said the

  prisoner.

  “Exactly,” said Manny.

  Miss Vale entered the office. She held a set of black cards in her hands. She handed

  them to her boss and stepped back.

  Manny flipped through them with a thumb. He paused at one in particular.

  “This is an Alvas,” he said.

  “He causing a lot of damage on the borders between his country and the humans,”

  said Miss Vale. “Our opposite number wants it stopped. She doesn’t care how.”

  “I don’t have any objection if you don’t,” said Manny. He passed the black warrant

  cards to the soul. “I think that’s the last of our business if we have a deal.”

  “I’ll need some more things before I get started,” said the prisoner. “I’m going to need

  weapons.”

  “You can get those Topside,” said Manny.

  “No, you can’t unless you buy, or trade for, them,” said the human soul. “I don’t want

  to do either.”

  “You can take them from the hands of your dead enemies,” said Manny.

  “If you get lucky and don’t get killed doing it,” said the prisoner. “You want these

  cards filled out, I want a chance to do it. I don’t see what the big deal is unless you’re

  setting me up to fail.”

  “Take him to the armory,” said Manny. “Don’t let him have anything a Topsider

  wouldn’t have.”

  “Thanks, boss,” said the prisoner.

  “Don’t let me down,” said Manny.

  The prisoner tossed off a salute before being led away by his escort.

  “I hope I didn’t make a terrible mistake,” Manny said.

  “If he can calm some of the problems down, it might be worth it,” said Miss Vale.

  “If he just tries,” said Manny. “It might be worth it. Let me get started on these files

  from Riordiana. Fast track any infants and toddlers to the Recycled line. I’ll start

  work on the older children before the adults.”