I like the feeling, the euphoria I get when I see the digits

  The odds against me, taking the risk

  The buzz I feel in my head when I do all the calculations

  My only thoughts at those moments?- I want it all

  Sounds greedy but so what , this is my high, this is my life, this is all I want

  Spend it, all who cares

  Everything in the line, so much to lose

  Money on the loose

  But that's just me

  Wasted and drunk on this life

  It's my dopamine rush

  My favorite high

  That's my favorite lie; I like this life

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  Who needs God when you can have all this money

  Who needs that when you have the odds

  Don't pester me with your so called religion I have bets to make and win

  I have odds to calculate, nobody stop me

  I'll ignore that voice, the voice telling me to stop , telling me to give this up, telling me it's too much

  I'll mute that voice non stop

  Do you feel your heartbeat, hear how loud it is when all the odds are stacked against you ?

  Do you feel your hands shake!

  Can you feel yourself trembling ?

  You're playing with the flames of hell and you know that

  When the odds are stacked against you and you lose

  You lost it all , you lost everything and now you're starting to feel like you're nothing

  Who's gonna help you?

  I'm wasted, I'm lost

  Do i really need help?

  The aftermath of the dopamine rush

  What happens when you've lost it all and you've got nothing to show for it

  I feel like I'm dying

  Is this what I've come to

  Ragged and useless

  I need escape

  "No, you need help, My hand is here, out stretched for you"

  "Take it , I will help you"

  Who are You,why do You want to help me

  Who am I to deserve your help

  "You're my child" He said

  I don't know what it was but I felt it deep in my heart

  "Come now, hold on to me "

  I'm dirty

  "I'll cleanse you"

  Can you really

  "Yes "

  I don't know what it was but I took His hand and I held on tight

  He never let go and I never did to

  It took a while but I realized i don't need that dopamine rush, that risk to feel happy

  I just needed His word and that was more than enough