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Chapter 13 Bad luck for some

  “WE ARE ORC'S THE GODS CHOSEN ONES. WE ARE STRONG AND MIGHTY WHO IS THIS BOB TO DARE COME INTO OUR LANDS AND TRY AND TAKE THEM. WE NUMBER 500 AND WHILE THE HUMANS OUTNUMBER US WE ARE STRONGER AND ALL HAVE MELEE CLASSES ABOVE 3. LETS RUSH THEM OUR SKIN IS THICK AND THOSE SHORT BOWS THE HUMANS USE WILL BOUNCE OFF US. NOW ON TO VICTORY AND GLORY”

  The last words of Steelfist leader of the Steelhammer orc's spoken just before he was struck by close to 100 arrows.

  “THE STEELHAMMER CLAN WAS WEAK. THEIR LEADER STEELFIST WAS A WEAKLING. WE ARE STRONG AND HAVE BETTER ARMOUR. THOSE SHORT BOWS THE HUMANS USE WILL NOT BE ABLE TO PERETRATE OH SHIT THOSE ARE LONG BOWS. CHANGE OF PLANS BOYS LETS RUN FOR IT RUN ” The last words of Hammerfist the leader of the Iron orc's moments before a arrow fired by Bob killed him.

  “WE ARE GOBLINS AND WE ARE STRONG AND OUTNUMBER THE HUMANS 3 TO 1. HOWEVER THAT DEMON BOB IS LEADING THEM SO WE ARE GOING TO SIT ON THIS HILL WITH OUR CROSSBOWS AND SHIELDS AND TELL BOB THIS IS OUR LAND” Goodgoblin appointed king of the goblins for 3 months.

  Bob looked at the goblins and their hastily built defenses and sighed. The 30,000 goblins were not a problem the 300 or 400 heavy crossbows were. The goblins had dug in and it looked like each of the crossbows were protected by basic shields. Worse the goblins were on a hill to attack Bob would have to have his troops rush the goblins. Looking at the hill Bob noticed larger bunker like defenses. It looked like something you used to hold siege weaponry. Bob had a amazing strength level and could fire a bow twice what anyone else in his army could. But at the end of the day it was a bow not a weapon designed to bring down stone walls 6 feet thick.

  Looking at the hill Bob noticed what looked like patches of grass that were wrong. A knight named Jeff rode over. Bob watched the knights armor admiring it. It fully covered Jeff in a steel layer of defense.

  Jeff spoke up “You should be on a horse sir.”

  “I am not a good rider besides I can outrun most horses anyway. You seeing the trip falls on the hill designed to block a cavalry charge?” Jeff head snapped around “Where?”

  “The goblins have them all over the fields in front of their crossbows. Well they look like anti infantry traps but as those have to be bigger than the ones they use on horses. I am betting they have the ones used on horses all over the fields especially on the area's leading to the siege weapons they have. ”

  Jeff strained his head looking at the goblins “What siege weapons? Where are the traps”

  “Those shields on the ditches The bigger ones look like the type you build to defend siege weapons those giant crossbow the repeating type. The ones as big as a wagon whatever they are called. The grass has been cut in several area's up there. You cut out the soil put in a couple sharp rocks or a stake at the bottom and maybe the side. Then when someone or a horse stands on it their leg goes in. When your leg gets pierced by a stone or stake you tend to try and pull it out. Just instinct which is where the side stakes slanting down come into it. You try and pull your leg out because something just went threw your foot you catch your foot on the other stakes. Plus generally you piss or take a crap into the hole to infect the enemies wound. I have 200 knights and there are thousands of cheap traps up there. So while riding slowly past the traps is possible. You would have to do it with a couple of hundred crossbow goblins using heavy crossbows and siege weapons to greet you ”

  A grin appeared on Bob's face “We have not killed or burnt any goblin villages yet. So we can just pack up and go home.” On his horse Jeff leg slipped and he almost fell off “Wait what? Would you run from mere goblins?”

  “I would run from a angry cat if I had too. The goblins are poor and have nothing I want. Do you want a bunch of used loin cloths that have brown stains near where the goblins asshole used to be? Like I said we have not killed any of them and they are not likely to attack me given the fact I have a bunch of forts. Plus they are scared of me. Besides what was that thing Barney was talking about? Objectives. What do I get assaulting the heavily defended goblins and win not much. What if I lose or say win with a couple of thousand soldiers deaths? Is it worth it? ”

  Jeff stopped moving for a second and patted his horse “What about honor and glory?”

  “Well if you want to personally assault the goblins for glory I will honor your bravery by pissing on your grave for being a idiot. We are here to get the men some experience a level or two and push some of the more undesirable elements further from the human lands. We have done that.”

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  Looking up at the goblins Bob stopped talking and began to think “You know those goblins seem capable. Not like the standard lets all rush at the guy who just killed a couple of thousand of us with rocks. We should look into hiring them at a minimum they could be decent expendable troops. I mean my whole strengthening ability will work on them as well.”

  Bob then shook his head “ Wait goblins they breed to fast. They would soon outnumber my troops and be twice as strong. No one wants a hobgoblin tide” Jeff seemed to shudder which was not easy in his suit of armor.

  Bob nodded and used a spell to enhance his voice “Alright folks it has been a nice day out for us. Lets set up camp here and head home tomorrow. When we get back the first round for all of you is on me. If any of you feel like we should kill all the goblins and spend a couple of weeks up here with our tents and no fire wood let me know. But if we kill them all we will have to finish the job because leaving their families behind is not a good idea. Nothing gets a kid angrier than someone coming along killing his father and stealing his families land.

  So if you want to head home to the brothels tomorrow and rest for a week we can. Or if you want to spend the next week waste deep in mud water looking for fleeing goblins hoping the fish do not bite your dick off let me know tomorrow. In the mean time lets put some space between us and the goblins before we set up camp.”

  Jeff pulled off his helmet “Wait your going to let the decide?” Bob shrugged “If they want to kill the goblins it will take me a week to get them off that hill. As I do not want any casualties on our side I will have to do it myself. ”

  Jeff looked at Bob and the stories he heard came back to him “Wait your going to kill 30000 to 40000 goblins on your own?”

  “Na after I kill the first few thousand the rest will flee. I have a bow and enough strength I can stand just on the range of those war catapults and shoot the goblins to death. It will take hours to slaughter the goblins armed with the crossbows. Mostly because I will have to avoid the rocks shot from the catapults.” Jeff turned pale as Bob looked at the goblin army.

  “I am Bob and crap I did not bring enough arrows. This used be easier when the enemy only had those small bows and slings. You know I used be able to throw rocks further than the goblins could shot their arrows.”

  Bob sighed and began to look at the goblin army. Jeff felt like he was next to a giant bottomless pit even looking at the darkness might cause you to feel terror.

  Looking up Bob grinned “It looks like we got everything we wanted from this trip there is a elf up there riding on a griffin. So now we know what the lords were relying upon. Stupid trusting a light elf even the dark elves are not as vicious. Well I guess I am not getting any sleep tonight. Bring the troops home I can not risk attacking the goblins with elves around. I will be scouting the elves camp.”

  Jeff swallowed hard looking at the evil light in Bob's face.

  Bob grin widened “They made me do paperwork. I mean yes I did it when I had to but I had to do a whole hours paperwork a day. So if the elves leave me a opening I am going to skin them and use their skin to make my blankets.”

  Jeff almost fainted from the sheer level of blood lust coming off Bob. For a instant he wanted to ask Bob how the elves had forced him to do paper work. Then he decided against it Bob was obviously a battle junkie and the elves unless they had set up a well defended camp were about to learn that fact.

  Bob blended in with the other men and soon vanished in the crowd. Jeff cursed as the skill he used to locate Bob vanished. A lot of elves were going to die unless they had a few high rank soldiers and even then they might still be in trouble. Jaff mopped his brow and stuck his helmet back on before heading back to his cavalry unit.

  A few hours later in the darkness Bob got ready. A bag of holding with 360 arrows which Bob had dipped in poison or pissed on. Bob was only sorry he did not have anything to eat in a few hours. He could have taken a massive shit and used it with a few potions to poison the arrows. With his alchemy skills he could have mixed in a few poisons that would have done a amazing job. Bob checked the camp again one last time. The Elves had chosen well a clearing on top of a hill. They had sentries out and Bob had no doubt they had a lot of hidden snipers around. It was getting bright and Bob had to make a decision.

  Was he going to attack or not? Bob sighed the elves were a lot more disciplined than he would like but they had made a mistake. They only had griffins and griffins were heavy and so needed time to take to the sky. Bob got ready and began to fire his arrows. Dragon strength and his insane strength stats launched arrows that were as big as some war catapults rained down upon the elf camp.

  The griffins began to scream as arrows landed on them then Bob targeted the sentries and then finally shot a couple of arrows into the biggest tent he could. Bob then fired at the elves trying to help the enraged Griffins and for good measure fired a screamer arrow into the middle of the griffins. The screamer arrow did what it was enchanted to released a massive scream that caused the already angry griffins to go berserk and attack everything and everyone in sight.

  A shadow in the air let Bob know the elves had at least a couple of griffins hidden away from their main camp and so he re positioned himself and watched the elves try and calm the berserk griffins. Looking at the griffins in the air rushing around Bob noticed they were getting slower. The elves were pushing them too hard. They had just taken off with a combat take off and now they were rushing around at speed looking for Bob.

  Bob headed back towards the elves and found a couple of griffins dropping off soldiers near where he had fired from. Bob chuckled and pulled his bow back. The griffin which was landing got hit in the wing. The griffin screamed as it smashed into the ground and Bob opened fire on the other griffin and elves that had already been landed. Arrows that had to be enchanted to stop them breaking because Bob was strong enough to lift up a elephant with one hand hit the elves. Bob's bow creaked as he released arrows so fast his hands became blurs.

  In seconds every elf that had not managed to jump behind something was dead. Bob looked gave the still alive elves a glance and then took off into the night. The elves first response and reaction to his ambush had been too swift and too disciplined for him to stick around longer. If they healed their still alive griffins and gave them stamina potions he could be in trouble. Or he could have been if they also had a lot of cure poison potions. Griffins were larger than humans and needed 2 to 3 potions to deal with the same kind of poison completely.

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