Unfortunately, I couldn’t stay there cuddling Alice for the rest of the day, given I needed to get home to get started on dinner. Alice told me that we’d meet again for an instructional retrospective with one of the Willows, where she’d give me some tips and things to think about going forwards, but that otherwise, I’d be good to continue as a full-time employee.

  I thanked her again, only embarrassed a little bit. She saw through me so easily, and had treated me so gently that it was hard to feel like I’d done anything wrong, even if there was a voice in the back of my head telling me I wasn’t supposed to be enjoying this. On the way home I fought against my lingering exhaustion, thankful I had a pce to sit on the train, given that it wasn’t yet rush hour.

  In the back of my mind, thoughts swirled, debating how I was supposed to feel. On one hand, I’d just done some satisfying work and, as far as I could tell, made a good impression on my coworker, and on the other hand, I’d just had sex… with a woman.

  And I liked it?

  Or Sarah liked it, rather… right?

  If Sarah was a complete enough person to have readable habits when lying – as shown by Melody – and a complete enough person for Alice to read her emotions and sensitivity, then what did that say about me?

  Was Greg even that complete of a person? Was there some chance that Sarah had more of the things that made people people than Greg did?

  But that had to just be my acting. Alice and Melody were watching my performance and reacting based on that – they knew nothing about me, the sick pervert pretending to be a bisexual woman, and if they did, they would’ve ran away at the first opportunity. The fact that they enjoyed being around Sarah was proof that my act was working and that I absolutely needed to keep my identity a secret.

  I let out a sigh, getting off the train, convincing myself I was gd to have come to that resolution.

  —

  I sat down across from Luna at the dinner table for the first time since our fight started, the two of us not quite looking at each other, but not quite looking at our food either. Neither of us opened our mouths, not to eat and not to speak, until an uncomfortable silence had settled over and finally Luna spoke.

  “I’m sorry, Greg.”

  I opened my mouth to tell her that it wasn’t her fault, but she continued, cutting me off.

  “I’ve been frustrated with work, and that’s not your fault, but I just ran out of patience at the wrong time and I’m sorry I took that out on you. You do so much for me and I…” she trailed off, tears building in her eyes.

  “No, it’s not really your fault,” I said, looking off to the side, unable to look at her. “I’ve been… reluctant to share parts of my personal life with you, and that’s probably frustrating for you, especially given that we’re living on top of each other.” I paused, thinking. “Not that that’s a problem,” I added hastily, “It’s just… I’m…” I trailed off, unable to put my feelings into simple terms that left out what could be hours of context.

  “I do want you to talk to me more about what you’re going through – I stand by that,” she said pointedly.

  I felt the stare of her eyes on the side of my face and I turned, finally meeting her eyes. I couldn’t tell if she was looking deep inside me or past me. “I’m… trying to figure things out…” I said, trying to tell just enough of the truth without revealing something I shouldn’t. “There’s… new people I’m meeting that see me in a different way, and that makes me feel… strange,” I finished.

  “Is it okay if I ask you some questions about that, or…?”

  I shook my head, looking down and not offering a reason.

  “Okay, just remember that I’m here for you, no matter what,” she said, finally acknowledging the food in front of her by picking up her fork and swirling it around the pte.

  “Thanks,” I muttered, a blush dusting my cheeks. “And the same goes for you. I started my job today and it went pretty well so don’t feel like your current situation is do or die. We can work something out if we need to.”

  “Oh, that’s great!” she said, perking up. “That your job went well, I mean. Tell me about it?”

  “Uh, yeah, sure,” I responded, taking a moment to consider how to phrase it. “I was mainly working with one of my coworkers, Alice, and she was really nice. She was showing me the ropes and guiding me, and I think we got along really well.” I smiled for a moment before dropping it once I thought about how the goofy grin I’d gotten used to doing as Sarah would look on Greg’s face.

  “That sounds great. Any chance they’ve got another opening?” she joked, grinning.

  My chest tightened abruptly when my imagination briefly went wild with the thought of being ‘coworkers’ with Luna, before I told my brain to shut up and shook my head.

  “Aww. Tell me if this is too much, but by any chance was Alice pretty?”

  “Well…” I started, thinking about how I’d felt while having sex with her, the little bits of her body I did get to feel while she was ravishing me. “You’d probably find her really attractive,” I hedged, not knowing if that was what Luna was asking in the first pce.

  Luna narrowed her eyes, staring intently, before humming in agreement and biting off a piece of broccoli she’d speared with her fork. “Any other pretty girls you’ve been meeting recently?”

  I blushed, immediately thinking of Melody and the date we went on, and turned away.

  “Wait, seriously?” Luna boggled. “Maybe you and your sister are cut from the same cloth…”

  “That’s enough about that, how’re you doing on that front?” I asked, eager to think about anything else.

  She sighed, “I’m over Candice, but it’s hard to meet new people.”

  Snuffles meowed in protest from across the room at the mention of her abductor.

  Luna gave her melodramatic cat an eye roll. “If you ever want to set me up…” she suggested, raising her eyebrows. “Hell, I’d totally be—” she cut herself off, gncing at me.

  “You’d what?”

  “Nevermind,” she said, shaking her head.

  My lips twisted, wanting to push further, but I had a feeling it wouldn’t go well if I did.

  Luna moved on, quickly changing the topic. “So when’s the next Campbell gathering?”

  “My mom will probably invite me over for my birthday, so…” I shrugged. “You’re welcome to join me, give me a chance to breathe in between interrogations.”

  “Are you sure?”

  My eyes darted up to hers, confused when I saw her genuine uncertainty. “Of course,” I said, “My mom loves you, not to mention my little sister.”

  She smiled softly. “Will Maddy be there? It’s the first time since she moved out, right?”

  “Yeah, and I imagine she will, especially if you’re there.” I tilted my head, “She could end up having a midterm, so we’ll see.”

  “Or a date…” Luna snarked.

  I ughed along with her, thinking that, given how interconnected the lesbian dating pool was in the city, it was only a matter of time until Luna or Madeline tried to date or befriend one another’s exes without knowing, something I would watch as a third party with glee.

  Wait a second, I’m a part of that community now… or at least I’m pretending to be. I wonder how many degrees of separation there are between Melody and Greg…

  —

  Later that night, Melody texted me, first saying hi and asking if I wanted to chat, and after I responded, she hit me with something I’d forgotten about.

  Melody: So you know how you said I could ask you about your work ter…?

  I was sitting on the couch with Luna, some tv show neither of us cared about pying in the background, but thankfully there was more than enough space between us to prevent her from looking over my shoulder. Even still, I leaned away and tilted my wrist to keep the screen from showing her what we were talking about.

  Sarah: Hmm, I only did my first professional shoot today, so I don’t have much to show yet. I could show you my personal account, or I could show you something much cooler – your call.

  She responded almost immediately.

  Melody: Something cooler? :O

  I giggled, anticipating her possible reactions. Would she be outraged? Intrigued? Excited? I started typing back, a smile covering my face, until Luna shifted next to me. It was an innocent movement, just her trying to get more comfortable, but it was more than enough to make me remember where I was and wipe my expression clean. I continued typing soberly, Luna still unaware of what was going through my head.

  Sarah: So I was going to do a solo shoot tomorrow or wednesday, and I could really use an extra set of hands to operate the camera…

  Melody: Oh my god. Are you serious?

  I grimaced, wondering if I’d overstepped.

  Sarah: I mean if you want to. No pressure

  Melody: That sounds amazing, but isn’t it too soon?

  Sarah: If it feels too soon for you then it’s too soon. It’d just be me doing my thing though, we don’t have to do anything together

  Melody: What time tomorrow?

  Sarah: 7am-3pm is when I have time, assuming I don’t get called in to work st minute.

  Melody: 11am then? Send address

  I breathed a sigh of relief, happy I hadn’t gone too far. Luna gnced at the sound I made, and I had to stifle a squeak in response, flinching and hoping she didn’t ask what was going on with me.

  “So, what’s Maddy saying this time?”

  Shoot.

  “Oh, it’s not my sister texting,” I said, mustering as much casualness as I could.

  She eyed me curiously. “Alice then?”

  Why didn’t she ask about Sarah?

  “Uh, no.”

  “Ah, must be the mystery pretty girl I left you off the hook for earlier during dinner…” she half-joked. When she saw my pursed lips and shy expression, she shook her head. “I won’t push any further, but remember you can always talk to me, especially if you ever need to know how to flirt with women – for some reason.”

  I nodded silently, not trusting my voice.

  After a minute of silence, just when I thought she was done, she spoke. “Y’know, I’d really like to meet Sarah again.”

  “I…”

  “You wouldn’t even have to be there,” she said casually, still looking at the tv, “You could just tell her where to go and I could go get lunch with her or something – something to think about.”

  “I’ll ask her,” I hedged, not knowing how I felt about the prospect. If I was Sarah, of course I’d want to spend more time with Luna; I loved Luna as a friend, and Sarah felt that too, but was also physically attracted to her.

  But I wasn’t Sarah, so that didn’t matter? Or was I Sarah some of the time?

  I pretended to be Sarah, which involved acting like her and thinking like her and looking like her and…

  Who is Sarah?

  —

  Clothes. I needed more clothes – of course one outfit wouldn’t cut it, what was I thinking?

  I was…

  Where am I?

  Of course – I was at the store Melody worked at, browsing the aisles. There were so many things, so many possibilities I’d never considered that I could wear before. Once I’d opened my mind, everything had become so much easier – or at least clearer. I could just say ‘I want to wear that sundress because it’s cute,’ and then go try it on, no questions asked.

  Really the only thing that could make this better would be if…

  “Hey!” Luna called out from behind me. “What're you doing here?” She was eyeing me curiously when I turned around, taking a hesitant step back.

  “I’m shopping for clothes…?” I said hesitantly, unsure if I could ask for help.

  “Huh,” she let out, “I didn’t know you were a crossdresser, Greg.”

  I blinked, and looked down at my body. It was my body – Sarah’s body – making me confused as to why Luna would call me…

  What the hell is going on?

  “What’re you…” I trailed off when I saw Madeline behind Luna, watching the two of us with her mischievous smirk.

  “Hey there bro, nice dress!” she said, no hint of teasing in her voice.

  Luna chimed in, agreeing, “It is a nice dress, and of course I wouldn’t have a problem with you crossdressing. I don't know why you didn't tell me sooner,” she shook her head.

  “No, I’m–” But I couldn’t finish my statement, distracted by the way I was looking down on Madeline.

  This body is supposed to be shorter than her, why is…

  At that thought, I was suddenly looking up at her, although neither of us had changed sizes. I held my hand up towards my sister’s face – or was it down? – and shapeshifted to a cwed, reptilian hand covered in bright red scales.

  She hardly reacted, raising one eyebrow. “What’re you doin’ with your hand there? Stop?” She leaned to the side, examining it from another angle, but never noticing the obvious magic happening in front of her face.

  “Maddy, I’m Sarah,” I pleaded, not having the composure to articute anything more complicated.

  The two women in front of me exchanged puzzled frowns.

  “You mean my girlfriend, Sarah?” Luna asked. “She’s supposed to arrive any minute now,” she checked her phone before gncing up and turning around. “Ah, there she is. Hi, Sarah!”

  I watched in horror as my exact body double walked into the scene, happiness lighting up her face when she saw Luna and Madeline – but never looking at me. After a moment of watching her exchange hugs with the girls, I realised there was a difference between the two of us: I had fox ears and a tail whereas she didn’t.

  Or was it the other way around…?

  Sarah’s head darted to me and her eyes met mine, staring intently without emotion. We held our mutual stare – and then I blinked, and I was suddenly in her pce, looking at where I’d just been.

  Of course, seeing myself from an outside perspective, I didn’t see Sarah’s body – I saw Greg’s. I, like everyone else, could pinly and obviously see how ill-fitted the dress he was wearing was, how utterly foolish he looked, prancing around and pretending to be me, Sarah. For that one moment I was allowed the ruinous privilege of seeing myself how other people see me and it made me feel—

  I woke up in a cold sweat, panting at the ceiling while my eyes adjusted to the darkness of the real world.

  “Fuck,” I hissed.